Poem

The Splendid Shilling Country Dance Band

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HAPPY the man who, void of cares and strife,
In silken or in leathern purse retains
A Splendid Shilling; he nor hears with pain
New oysters cried, nor sighs for cheerful ale;
But with his friends, when nightly mists arise,
To Juniper's, Magpye, or Town-Hall* repairs: [popular taverns]
Where, mindful of the nymph whose wanton eye
Transfix'd his soul and kindl'd amorous flames,
Chloe, or Phyllis, he each circling glass
Wisheth her health, and joy, and equal love.
Meanwhile he smokes, and laughs at merry tale,
Or pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint.
But I, whom griping penury surrounds,
And hunger, sure attendant upon want,
With scanty offals, and small acid tiff* [cheap ale]
(Wretch'd repast!) my meagre corpse sustain:
Then solitary walk, or doze at home
In garret vile, and with a warming puff
Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube* as black [pipe]
As winter chimney or well polish'd jet
Exhale Mundungus*, ill-perfuming scent: [cheap tobacco]
Not blacker tube nor of a shorter size
Smokes Cambro-Britain* (vers'd in pedigree, [ Welshman]
Sprung from Cadwalader and Arthur, kings
Full famous in romantic tale) when he
O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff
Upon a cargo of fam'd Cestrian* cheese [from Chester]
High over-shadowing rides, with a design
To vend his wares, or at the Arvonian* mart, [in Arvon]
Or Maridunum, or the ancient town
Yclept Brechinia, or where Vaga's stream
Encircles Ariconium, fruitful soil,
Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may vie
With Massic, Setin, and renown'd Falern*. [famous wines]
With looks demure and silent pace, a dun,
Horrible monster! hated by gods and men,
To my aerial citadel ascends;
With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gates,
With hideous accent thrice he calls; I know
The voice ill-boding and the solemn sound.
What should I do? or whither turn? Amaz'd,
Confounded, to the dark recess I fly
Of woodhole; straight my bristling hairs erect
Through sudden fear; a chilly sweat bedews
My shuddering limbs, and, wonderful to tell,
My tongue forgets her faculty of speech,
So horrible he seems; his faded brow
Entrench'd with many a frown and conic beard
And spreading band, admir'd by modren saints,
Disastrous acts forebode; in his right hand
Long scrolls of paper solemnly he waves,
With characters and figures dire inscrib'd
Grievous to mortal eyes; (ye gods avert
Such plagues from righteous men!) behind him stalks
Another monster, not unlike himself,
Sullen of aspect, by the vulgar call'd
A catchpole*, whose polluted hands [sheriff's deputy]
With force incredible and magic charms
Erst have indu'd; if he his ample palm
Should haply on ill-fated shoulder lay
Of debtor, straight his body to the touch
Obsequious*, as whilom knights were wont, [cringing submission]
To some enchanted castle is convey'd,
Where gates impregnable and coercive chains
In durance strict detain him, till in form
Of money Pallas sets the captive free.

Beware, ye debtors, when ye walk beware,
Be circumspect; oft with insidious ken
This caitiff* eyes your steps aloof, and oft [wretch]
Lies perdue* in a nook or gloomy cave, [hidden]
Prompt to enchant some inadvertent wretch
With his unhallow'd touch. So, poets sing,
Grimalkin*, to domestic vermin sworn [a cat]
An everlasting foe, with watchful eye
Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap,
Protending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice
Sure ruin. So her disemboweled web
Arachne* in a hall or kitchen spreads, [a spider]
Obvious to vagrant flies: she secret stands
Within her woven cell; the humming prey,
Regardless* of their fate, rush on the toils [heedless]
Inextricable, nor will aught avail
Their arts, nor arms, nor shapes of lovely hue:
The wasp insidious, and the buzzing drone,
And butterfly proud of expanded wings
Distinct with gold, entangl'd in her snares,
Useless resistance make. With eager strides
She, towering, flies to her expected spoils;
Then with envenom'd jaws the vital blood
Drinks of reluctant foes, and to her cave
Their bulky carcasses triumphant drags.

So pass my days. But when nocturnal shades
This world envelop, and the inclement air
Persuades men to repel benumbing frosts
With pleasant wines and crackling blaze of wood,
Me lonely sitting, nor the glimmering light
Of make-weight candle*, nor the joyous talk [small candle]
Of loving friend delights; distress'd, forlorn,
Amidst the horrors of the tedious night
Darkling I sigh, and feed with dismal thoughts
My anxious mind; or sometimes mournful verse
Indite, and sing of groves and myrtle shades,
Or desperate lady near a purling stream,
Or lover pendent on a willow tree*. [having hanged himself]
Meanwhile I labour with eternal drought,
And restless wish and rave; my parched throat
Finds no relief, nor heavy eyes repose:
But if a slumber haply does invade
My weary limbs, my fancy's still awake,
Thoughtful of drink, and eager in a dream
Tipples imaginary pots of ale;
In vain; awake, I find the settled thirst
Still gnawing, and the pleasant phantom curse.
Nor taste the fruits that the sun's genial rays
Mature, John-apple, nor the downy peach,
Nor walnut in rough-furrow'd coat secure,
Nor medlar*, fruit delicious in decay. [a pear]
Afflictions great! yet greater still remain:
My galligaskins* that have long withstood [breeches]
The winter's fury and encroaching frosts,
By Time subdu'd, (what will not Time subdue!)
An horrid chasm disclose, with orifice
Wide, discontinuous; at which the winds
Eurus and Auster*, and the dreadful force [east and south winds]
Of Boreas*, that congeals the Cronian** waves, [north wind] [polar ocean]
Tumultuous enter with dire chilling blasts
Portending agues. Thus a well-fraught ship
Long sail'd secure, or through the Aegean deep,
Or the Ionian, till cruising near
The Lilybean shore, with hideous crush
On Scylla or Charybdis, dangerous rocks,
She strikes rebounding, whence the shatter'd oak,
So fierce a shock unable to withstand,
Admits the sea; in at the gaping side
The crowding waves gush with impetuous rage,
Resistless, overwhelming; horrors seize
The mariners, death in their eyes appears,
They stare, they lave, they pump, they swear, they pray:
Vain efforts! still the battering waves rush in

John Philips

Splendid Shilling

Last Updated 02/05 By MNB