Oooook... this is it... the whine barrel (aka the can of frigging worms!)... consisting of everything that even remotely annoys me... americans are advised to leave now... and the french... what the hell are u doing here in the first place?!?!?!?! ;)
| 1 | hmm... where to start... I'll start off slow and get more offensive as we go ;)... ok, to start off with is this... razors... why is it that they make them now with more blades than a harvester... safety bands... side impact bars.. and go faster stripes... but u still look and feel like a hedgehogs arse when u have shaved??? |
| 2 | on the same note... aftershave... hey, all the guys out there know what i mean now... u are still sobbing to yourself from having to shave with garden sheers u find your aftershave... commonly known as battery acid. So... not only have u got little blebs of tissue over your face... now u also look like u have leprosy! |
| 3 |
OK lets move on to... women. OK why is it that a woman, when annoyed, will sit there for hours, sulking?... u ask if there's anything wrong and they just say... no... nothing... ... uuuuuunnnnntillllll..... u ask for something... anything, doesn't matter what... and u get... u never care what i want do you??? jeez |
| 4 | ... and the huffs and puffs and moans and sighs during the fore mentioned sulking marathon. |
| 5 | hamburgers. why on earth are they called hamburgers when they dont contain ham?? mind you, in england we call them beef burgers... another one of those things from america... but i'll get to that in a bit ;) |
| 6 | rave music... that bollocks makes me sick. |
| 7 | computers. now i love computers, but aint it annoying that u buy something one minute, the next it's half the price... take my 3dfx card for example... £125 i paid... 2 months later... same shop... £80... aaaarrrrsssseee!!!! |
| 8 | the 70's... why, for all that is frigging sacred, is there a 70's comeback???? for christs sake! it was shite then and now its twice as bad seeing how we know it was shite then... put the fri(trying desperately not to swear here, don't know how long i can last;) )ggin' flares away and get a life! |
| 9 |
same goes for the bloody 80's too! |
| 10 | people who say they will do something and dont. |
| 11 | flying... not really an annoyance... well, i suppose it is, it's a quick way for Americans to get here... so.. ;) |
| 12 | OK, so now i've started i may as well finish. ameri*cough*cans. Now OK, fair enough, I am generalising now, and hey i'm allowed to, it's my page... but just the whole idealism of America wants me to pick up a bucket, swallow it, pass it through my large intestine, squeeze it out the other end, then vomit in it every time i hear the word America. Everything in America is designed to pamper... thats OK i guess but its the way it goes to peoples heads... like the world owes them a favour... lets face it, most Americans aren't even aware of a world outside of America, egotistical, egomaniacal, self obsessed, arrogant, ignorant... and that's just the president!... And war... for gods sakes... its one extreme to the other, either tree hugging hippies or sad old gits who never could get in the marines cause of that stubborn bunion, sitting there gagging to see others go to war. Ironic really isn't it? that America are playing god, saying iraq, and others, can't do this or that, which i agree with, but America!! are they forgetting the genocide of 80%(probably more) of the REAL Americans, the indians? (god bless America? if there was one do u think he/she would after the atrocities committed there?)... then glamorise it in westerns... even when they lose a war (vietnam) they still have to make the films suggesting they lost on purpose to make them feel better... and now with the collapse of russia and the cold war there is a huge void there, no arch rival... who will fill it? Japan? Iraq is temping at the moment... but I think it'll be Japan or China. OK, I'll calm down a bit now... if u have seen my photo pages on here u will be aware that I went to the states... met some fantastic people there who will be with me forever so, like i said before, i am generalising... and getting my own back for sunset beach and fucking baywatch! |
| 13 | only fair now to include the french. No generalisation here, I hate them all equally, with a passion only matched by their moustaches, garlic breath and under arm hair... and thats just the women! It's a well known fact that the english and the french hate each other (if u are armerican... france and England are in europe, past that big pond to your right!)... we have been in countless wars, but it goes deeper than that... i dont quite know what it is but i personally, wouldn't piss on a frenchman if he was burning.... hmm... then again... i would... just not on the burning bit ;) |
| 14 | OK, lets get back to the whining and not general slander ;).... soaps... no, not what u wash with, the tv soaps... who gives a flying fuck who troy is dating or who mary-sue-cindy-jo-billy-bob-bobberoo has kidnapped?... |
| 15 | football... another american bash here. Football, is football, the game u play with your feet with a bloody ball... is that so hard to grasp?! apparently so... the Americans, bless em, had to call their game football... the one that u play with your hands (the girly version of rugby where they wear padding and tights)... show's their unoriginality, couldn't think of a new game or a new name. |
| 16 | on the subject of sports... we invented football, cricket, golf, rugby so why is it we still suck at them all?! ;) (see, i have a go at everyone ;) ) |
| 17 | old people... always whining about the price of bread and 'they dont make things the way they used to'. |
| 18 | socks, do they hide themselves?? |
| 19 | sex... never as good as it looks on telly is it? ;) |
| 20 | fashion... art... u know the type i mean, andy warhole type of stuff... what a bunch of pretentious, oity toity wankers! get a fucking life and a paint brush and paint something frigging good! bunch of twats! |
| 21 | that mate that always has to have things better than you... |
| 22 | things breaking... always at the bloody wrong time! |
| 23 | recycled toilet tissue.... eeeuuuuuwwwww!!!... with added splinters |
| 24 | people who say the beatles are crap... eh anj? ;p |
| 25 |
that smug face anj pulls when she see's something like the above ;) |
| 26 | then the arguing that it wasnt a smug face ;)... and the reasoning behind it. |
| 27 | telephones... ringing at 4 in the morning... for friggin charnos! |
| 28 | crap blank cd's that won't copy right. |
| 29 | women who tell u its their 'time of the month' ... eeuuwww i don't want to know! OK mum?! |
| 30 | flash cars and the pricks that drive them |
| 31 | milk cartons... tear here and push flaps together, then get a mop and scream 'oh bollocks!' 2 Norwegian brothers invented them things u know... they are said to be in the top 10 of richest people in the world now... for inventing something that doesn't work... mind you, it didnt do bill gates any harm did it? ;) |
| 32 | my name... Lee... sucks big time. |
| 33 | hired videos... why are they never frigging rewound?! |
| 34 | americans... again... it annoys me that i really like some of them ;) |
| 35 | soldering... too fiddly, very annoying. |
| 36 | language differences between here and usa... no, this isnt another bitch at america... just the common language that divides us. Like there, a fag is a gay person right?... over here its a slang word for a cigarette... so, when i was in the states and said i was 'going outside to smoke a fag' everyone thought i was a homicidal maniac ;) |
| 37 | photo's. Why do i always look like a gimp on photo's?... and no comments on the fact that the photo is only picking up what is there ;p |
| 38 | Frickin' phone bills!! |
| 39 |
manchester united football club. go bomb go!!
|
| 40 | when your mates go out and get twice the pc u have just to rub your nose in it ;) |
| 41 | ok, time now me thinks, to open up a can of worms and attempt to offend almost everyone on the planet in one small page... the whine here is... religion. I'm not religious at all, but I don't really care about people who are religious... each to their own i say... but... why are there so many? who is right? the hindus, the catholics, the Buddhists, the Protestants? who knows? who cares? but one that gets my goat up is this, some of the first religions, like the egyptians, chinese, greek etc... they date back well before any bible... yet the catholics say the bible is law... but hasn't someone just taken bits from other religions and stuck them in a james clavell novel?... and war... how many wars and deaths have been caused by religion? isnt that hypocritical seeing how they all are supposed to promote life? ok, i agree, the thought of a life after death would be good... but i'd rather not find out quicker cause i think my god's better than your god... personally, i think that we, unfortunately, are alone spirit wise... life is what we make it and we aint gonna get any help on the way... some people make me sick... I'd like to thank god for my new horse...' ... well where was he in nova scotia last year? in lockerbee and hiroshima, in america when the idians were being genocided? having a coffee break? some people try passing this off as being the devils work... crap, it's our own, it's all our own, it's all just a convenient excuse for our own destructive nature... luck created our planet, humans will destroy it. I think of earth as being like a tree with woodworm, us being the woodworm... sooner or later we will eat away at it so much that it will be gone... then who's religion is going to be there for them? And plus, in the bible, jesus was with a charity collector, a guy puts in a large sum of money and walks past, an old lady puts in one of her 2 coins, he says that she gave the most as she gave half of all she owned... and other stories too that basically say that the lord shines on the poor... just a quick question then, why is every church leader out there living in opulence? people being treated like shit and starving to death, babies dying in futile wars... some say that they will be rewarded for that in the next life or its gods will... bollocks, just another excuse for turning a blind eye to the fucking despicable acts that humans do every day. |
| 42 | Emotions... gotta suck haven't they? |
| 43 | False promises and broken dreams... |
| 44 | Students! |
| 45 | Fat fucking students |
| 46 | Fat fucking students... with mobile phones! |
| 47 | Fat fucking students... using mobile phones right next to a fucking public phone!!!!!!! ARRGGGGHHH!!!!!! |
| 48 | Fucking americans... just cause i havent whined about em for ages... I heard on the news today that there is a massive hurricane headed for miami... this concerned me... what if it blows some of the egotistical wankers over here?!!!! |
| 49 | Cable TV fitters... noisy swines ;) |
| 50 | Not making it to 50 before now! |
| 51 | FLU!!!!! |
| 52 | Running out of beer! |
ok, there's my ten pence worth... now it's your turn, have you got a whine? if so, send it to me, it can be about anything at all... don't make the language too offensive cause i'll only edit it... (ahh bollocks to it... say what ya like (happy now lou? ;) ), but I won't edit the content, I'm not a dictator ;)
Fill in the boxes at the bottom and I will type it up in the table below .
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From
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Whine
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Date
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Eddy
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why the god damn hell does it take your page so long to load, its like waiting for you to shoot a balloon ha ha. must agree with the whinge on those pesky yanks and frogs though. (cause it has a sample to load on the first page numbnuts... and why do I always win when shooting those balloons then? eh?? ;).. and eddy, pesky is not a word that should be used... by anyone ;) - lee) |
17/1/99
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A Tart
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RE:NO19, maybe,just maybe if guys spent less time watching sex on T.V. and more time practising in the bedroom,they might feel less inhibited by the actors they see in sex scenes. after all us girlies don't all want Val Kilmer or Steven Tyler,most of us are happy to make do with you average guys! And remember "PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT"!!! (I was talking about the women in films, not the men ;) - lee) |
18/1/99
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Anonymous...
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people who go on about life having no meaning and then drivel on about what they think it all means. armchair sportsmen.....play the game dont talk about it. men who ask whats wrong .over and over when they know damn well whats wrong. men who ask if its that time of the month when you are genuinely angry and have good reason to be......i hate them even worse when it is. eurocentrics ...male or female, its a big world out there. people who dont believe david beckham is brilliant,23 and look where he is. well this will never see the light of day but i enjoyed it anyway (I told you, whine about anything u like, I'm not afraid to take a knock too... although I do play the sports too... well... try - lee) |
21/1/99
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HouseMouse
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Okay, How about all the slow drivers out there that can't seem to get to the speed limit? Which somehow always seem to get in front you. And cheer up Not ALL Americans are bad :o) . And If men didn't continuously ask what is wrong ,after you told them nothing (cause maybe there isn't anything wrong) maybe we women wouldn't get annoyed HUH? by the time you all ask us that a dozen times we are getting damn tired of answering it lol! (so... why are you sending in a whine if there's nothing wrong? ;) - lee) |
22/1/99
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A Tart
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oh my god!!!, it really does my head in when you get home from a night on the tiles knowing the man you love isn't around , so you decide to console yourself with a damn good Emillio Estevez film (ok i know that that's a matter of opinion!!!)and the god damn video machine decides that now is a good time to eat the only copy of Young Guns you own!!! I know to some people this may seem trivial, but you said whine and my god do i ever feel like whining!!! :( Son of a bitch!!!, this means that i'll have to watch Steakout!!!(again!). (my copy is alright ;p - lee) |
2/2/99
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Missy
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When you order at a fast food drive-up and they repeat the order back to you CORRECTLY but you still get the WRONG damn shit! But of course, you don't KNOW this until you're MILES down the road looking for your friggin' onion rings and mustard only to find ketchup and pie with no fork! (and why the hell do they call it fast food too?? ;) - lee) |
2/2/99
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Rob Neuman
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That bloke singing on the internet diary. He has got a voice like a busted arsehole mate. Who is it ? Tell him from me that if it hurts that much to sing ,he shouldn't do it. (it suits the page though if u listen to the words.... sick of this life... - lee) |
4/2/99
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Chalkie
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The Law in this country:- Commonly referred to as pigs or Ba*^!#ds, why don`t they catch some real criminals instead of spending vast ammounts of time and money on speed trap devices, so people breaking the speed limit by 5 miles an hour get to loose there license, while the real criminals (murderers etc..) get six months in a free all expenses paid holiday camp. Thanks : ) I feel much better now! (tut tut tut ;) ) |
20/8/99
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a quietlilthing
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men with fat stomachs.....they invariably insist they prefer the woman on top position when really they just dont want that horrible thing hanging down and bouncing around. stop fooling yourselves it doesnt disappear when you are on your back it spreads to the sides and jiggles. sex isnt supposed to feel like a ride on an air balloon. and our thighs were not designed to be a girdle for spreading body bits (thought you were quiet???! ;) - lee) |
20/8/99
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Galena
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why are some women so desperate for a bloke that they have to flirt and flutter their lashes at mine..do they really want their eyes gauging out with a blunt object!! (meoooowww!!! ;) - lee) |
21/8/99
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Galena
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people who think they are intelligent but are as thick as bakers dough.. why do these same people have to put on false airs and graces too..it really gets on my..!! (must know alot of yanks then ;) - lee) |
21/8/99
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Galena
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why is it that my fiance is never here when i 'really' need him to be..if you get my drift..? and why do his mates always find the ugliest people in show biz and say he looks like them!! |
21/8/99
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Lou
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Lee u say not to make our whines so offensive cause u will only edit them but what about your whines they are full of offensive language are they not ??? (yeah true... but look where the bad language started... on the american whine... surely u can understand that ;) - lee ) |
22/8/99
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Karen
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Not being able to get hold of a really powerful STANK remover when you get back from camp!! (anyone got any industrial cleaning fluid??) (nothing gets rid of stank ;) -lee) |
31/8/99
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Karen
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bloody ICQ , i mean don't get me wrong i love it and everything,but why does it always insist on bumping you off just when you're talking to someone important??? why can't it wait till you're on to someone you don't want to talk to??? |
4/9/99
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Yoda
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why does it take you so long to do something for somebody else, im still waiting for "what we got is a failure to communicate" you should have this as your signature tune (hmmm... simpson eh?.. i'll remember that name.) |
12/9/99
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Karen
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Why do i have to go to work...why can't i stay on my 'puter all day...work sucks...why should i get up at 7.30am...don't these people realise what time i get to bed...damn inconsiderate...maybe i'll suggest flexitime...maybe it won't ever happen...but maybe i'll suggest it anyhow...nothing to lose...still have to get up and go to work.......... (oh stop whini.... oh hang on, thats the poing int it? ;) ) |
20/9/99
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Karen
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Cleaning..why do single guys find it so hard to empty an ash tray?? Are baked beans supposed to have green fur on them?? what was all that hair in the bathroom?? no i don't want a coffee thanks,i've seen the cups!!whats for dinner...take away AGAIN..can the kebebab house cope with the demand cos the floor could sure use the wrappers!!i know if the ash tray is overflowing..buy a can of something ..anything and use that!! oh dont bother to drink it all the liquid mixed with the cigarette ends smells fantastc!! duvet cover..what do you need one of those for you'd only have to wash it!!.................. basicaly its taken 4 hours to clean Jodys flat,and if this whine doesn't shame him into keeping it tidy then im gonna hack his nuts off and feed them to the dogs!! ;) (i did warn ya ;) ) |
26/9/99
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aquietlilthing
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america refusing to send in troops to help the aussies in east timor because they might actually have to fight instead of sitting in planes dropping bombs on people. probably just as well the aussies have enough to do over there without having to carry a mob of overwieght unfit americans and we all know that the yanks killed more allies than enemies in vietnam. i suppose if the yanks stay home we wont have any casualties. (not to mention the brits they killed in the gulf war in so called friendly fire! - lee) |
28/9/99
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aquietlilthing
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now i am really pissed off the americans didnt send any troops to east timor just food drops from safe heights while sitting in their planes and guess what the only casualty since we got there was a 3 yr old boy who got hit by a food crate and lost his leg. they cant even do that without hurting someone those lazy fat slobs should try handing them food instead of dropping it on them. no on second thought piss off and leave them alone they have suffered enough. |
30/9/99
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karen
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bloody company mobile phones! work gave me a mobile,so i could phone people (ok it was supposed to be for buisness use only)but did they seriously expect me to pull up at a call box when i have a perfectly good phone in the van??? so anyhow,£120 credit,like thats going to get me through a month!what do they think, i don't like to talk??? its good to talk ..well thats what the advert tells us ISN'T IT!!!!! roll on november....at least it gets switched back on again!!! (good job u aren't a student as well! ;) - lee) |
12/10/99
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bitter lemons
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why is it that your friends come round to see you, they always drink your coffee,smoke your fags,totally ruin your sunday by whining on about their love life hassles, when it really isn't you they should be talking to (hey, does that mean i can come round and whine too?? ;) - lee) |
21/10/99
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Karen
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Right....you've made your point, everyone knows that your computer is turbo charged, bigger than theirs, well at least mine,i personally think that anything more than a Pentium 2 is wasteful, birds only have 2 wings, people only have 2 eyes,noah only took 2 of each animal onto the ark, 'it takes two baby' was the song,Shakespear wrote 'to be or not to be' (ok so thats not quite the same ;)-), anyhow...my point being that you are just being greedy having more than a 2 and as nature hasn't evolved any further than 2 of most things then i consider your computer to be a freak....and therefore outcast!!!......now please shut up...and let the rest of us carry on with our NORMAL pc's !!! (I didn't realise I was being so offensive by having a far superior machine... many appologies ;p - lee) |
1/11/99
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Karen
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when you do really well (well better than usual)in a shoot,and your mates aren't there to witness the damn event!!! 7th out of 16,i'm getting better...i'm gonna whoop your ass (one day)....that'll teach ya to miss me being fantastic!!! ;) (This is the whine page, not the fantasy page ;p - lee) |
7/11/99
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Galena
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ok, i'm pregnant and i should be full of the joys of spring and all that.. but why does the baby wait til i want to sleep before it sits on my bladder, and when are you suposed to start blooming and feel attractive again, and why do i feel so bloody insecure, unappreciated and tearful all the time.. and unsure .. should this be a question for doctor lee?? (yep) |
20/11/99
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Mina
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Computer. Nuff said.(the thing u sit on about 11 hours a day... and u whine about it??? - lee) |
2/1/00
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Karen
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why do people with ridiculous names like Howie D...and Jimmy Jam...and any of the other 'talented' i use the word loosley,remixers...feel compelled to mess with what were already good songs...huh...does anyone get as annoyed as i do when you've been looking for an mp3 for ages, and when you find it...finally...it's not the version you wanted...'cos some tallentless yank has decided to piss about with it.....it makes me VERY...VERY.... ANGRY!!!!! (I know what u mean... i tried getting some good coke... but it was remixed by by this irish guy, pat o'cake.... annoying... - Ice Cream Loopy Lee ;) ) |
22/1/00
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aquietlilthing
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There is this ad on tv for sponsoring kids in poor countries, they show this poor little girl working in a tip for $2.00 a week to support her whole family,now if she can support her whole family for $2.00 a week why are they asking people to pay 'just a dollar a day' to support her? seems to me that $ 7.00 should support three families at that rate. Am I too cynical? Don't you dare answer that. (not touching that one with a bargepole! - lee) |
2/9/00
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Submit your whine.