A couple of changes to our winning team from last week. Simon Edwards is promoted to the 1s, hoping to continue his good form against North Enfield, Ben Phillips joins us and Jack returns from his travels to take charge.

In his absence during the week, I was to select the team and had the unenviable job of dropping Pigsy to the 3s. The phone call was made even more difficult because the 1^st and 3^rd XI captains were present at the time; somehow it makes the hard work of being skipper all worth while!

A very good pre-match turn out sees us fully prepared at 1.00 O’clock. Jack wins the toss and we are in the field.

It was very obvious from early on that Elstree are not the force they once were, however Barrie and Palav are not able to break up the openers and they have put on 30 odd when Constable Dibble joins the attack, Dibble takes 3 quick wickets and our visitors are reduced to 40 odd for 3.

The opener continues to hit the ball in the air, firstly to gaps but when chances come our way we return to old habits and spill at least 6 chances.

Palav returns and finally bowls him for 93 with the score on 139, Ferret takes a skier to get rid of the No.5 (39) and we manage to put the brakes on. They finally creep to 159-9 in the 52^nd over, when their skips calls us in for tea, terrified that Palav might injure their star bowler, batting at No.11.

Our three wicket takers are Palav 4-21, Dibble 3-7 and Barrie 2-52.

Nobody else in the Elstree innings makes double figures; we could have been chasing a very low total had it not been for the opener.

Jacks request for more vegetarian sandwiches is taken to its extreme and there is nothing but cheese, egg and salad, I’m not sure I can function properly without some protein.

Ferret and I to open and I am immediately up against their star county bowler, coming up the hill, blonde hair flowing behind must have looked a bit like Paul Allott or even Alan Donald in their prime. I manage to keep the ball out for the 1^st over and its Kevs turn to face the young lad coming down the hill. A nice four through mid wicket is followed by a Yorker and Kevs back in the hutch. Logie soon swipes him for a couple of fours and we are on our way. The county bowler keeps nagging away (don’t they all) and I finally manage to get down the other end to join in the run scoring fun. Logie’s having none of it and gets a single to make sure I’m facing the demon star bowler again. Another tricky delivery I meet with the face of the bat, agonisingly the ball runs off slowly towards the stumps, do I try and kick it, or knock it away and risk smashing down the wicket, and surely it’s not rolling fast enough to dislodge the bails. The ball comes to rest against the leg stump just as a strong gust of wind blows off the bails and I am out.

No disgrace to get out to a county player, who conceded just 17 runs from 9 overs.

At this point I have to say I have unearthed a nasty, vile trait of sexism within the club. In these enlightened times, one would hope that we are all equal, regardless of sex. Indeed in the world of sport, women have proved themselves, look at Zara Phillips (no Ben, not those pictures you found on youtube), who is a gold medal prospect at the Olympics in a male dominated sport. Which of us could get near Dame Kelly Holmes in a 800 metre race, how many of us wish we had a 6 pack like Denise Lewis or indeed had a todger as long as Fatima Whitbread's.

Remember Margaret Thatcher, Boudicca, Joan of Arc and Marion behind the bar, all fearless women, who you lot certainly wouldn’t argue with, how would you fancy opening the batting against any of them with the new ball, so let’s embrace and encourage all diversities within our wonderful game.

However, for those of you who are still eager to continue taking the piss out of me, you’ll be interested to know it’s the third time she has got me out. More often than any other bowler in the league, aren’t I a gentleman!

Back to the game, Ben Phillips (72 not out) batted wonderfully; supported by Logie (38) saw us home despite a late flurry of wickets.

The 30 points lifts us to 3^rd and this weekend we play the league leaders Old Owens.

Great wins also for the 1s and 3s. Apparently in the 1^st team fixture, North Enfield decided to make a game of it when the top order had got out and gave our tail enders a few runs, little did they realise the potency of our bowling attack. In the 3^rd team game Jim Byatt got his first 5 for of the season and they won a real nail biter against promotion rivals Cottered, thankfully nobody in that team getting any runs to make my evening any worse.