A Christmas Tale

There was a young fellow called Steve

Who received a lot of annual leave

So a trip to Italy was planned

Which included Matthew, Lee, James and Tom

And cost approximately a grand.

The five adventurers met in Liverpool

And the women were dispatched, oh so cruel

They jumped on a plane

And jumped off again

When it had crossed the channel

The merry band squeezed into a Toledo

And received directions from Steve, who knew where to go

Progress was swift

And the Hotel La Balme

Was located amidst the snow drift

Now the affection of Italian men is well known

But on arrival, Matthew and Lee turned to stone

The reason was clear

For the sleeping arrangements

Suggested the couple were queer

The aim of the trip was to climb ice

Which everyone agreed would be nice

But the conditions were not good

And it soon became clear

That the ice had not formed, as it should.

The climb on day one was halted

It was apparent that the ice had melted

Tom lost a glove

A search was proposed

And Matthew and Lee found love

A new route on day two was attempted

And the success of our team should be noted

It was a grand day

With ice, sun and fun

Although the descent was risqué

By day three we were beginning to tire

In our quest to go higher and higher

The snow was so deep

We were up to our necks

And come the night, even Matthew and Lee were asleep

On day four the activities changed

And cross-country skiing was arranged

But Matthew and Lee

Did not agree

And opted for climbing instead

On cross-country skis it was clear

That our trio traveled without fear

But please worry not

As the snow was deep and fluffy

Which helped as they fell over a lot

When the skiers returned they were knackered

In fact they were completely cream crackered

But the climbers were missing

So a search party departed

To check they hadn’t fallen whilst kissing

It was very late when the couple was sighted

And it was clear they had got over excited

“The rope froze”, they cried

“We forgot to come down”

Lets hope their protection was adequate

On our final day we were cool and went boarding

Which involved edges and faking

Tom was a dude and got lots of air

But for Matthew it was despair

When Lee told him he’d faked it all week