Title: Atlantis Online 2: The One with the Drabbles
Author: Wendy Parkinson
Email: wendyparkinson@hotmail.com
Category: Humour
Pairing: none
Spoilers: none
Season/Sequel info: Sequel to Atlantis Online
Rating: PG
Content Warnings: Other than extreme silliness, no. ;-)
Summary: Elizabeth issues a challenge and John gets curious. :-)
Archive: Ask first please, but I’ll almost certainly say yes.
Date: 30/05/05
Author’s Notes: As always, thanks to Sue
for the beta.
The stuff about Sheppard’s legs is entirely chiroho’s fault. He dared me.
;-)
Disclaimer: Stargate:Atlantis and its characters belong to MGM. This fan fiction
was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no
copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real
persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
All feedback and constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. No flames
please.
Atlantis Online 2 – the One with the Drabbles
Rodney McKay peered at the laptop screen and grimaced. He’d have to change the
name of the group, or Doctor Weatherby was going to complain to Elizabeth. But
he had no idea what he could call it instead of ‘Avoiding Mary Sue’.
Personally, he thought Doctor Weatherby was being a little over-sensitive. After
all, here he was with HailMary writing him into their Round Robin as a slimy,
obnoxious know-it-all, hitting on Sam Carter with no finesse or charm whatsoever
– so out of character it just wasn’t funny – and had he said anything?
Well, perhaps he had, but only mild rebukes, not the full-on what the hell do
you think you’re playing at? he had wanted to say.
And all Mary Sue Weatherby had to moan about was a list with her name in the
title. Well, pardon him if he didn’t feel much sympathy. Sorely tempted to
start a “Chemists are too touchy for their own good” list, he instead
settled down to type.
~~~~~~
I have received a complaint about the inflammatory nature of your mailing
list’s title; therefore I am requesting that you immediately change it to
something less offensive.
Regards,
Dr. R. McKay
~~~~~~~
He hit ‘send’, changed usernames, and waited for the mail to come through to
the list. God, this is convoluted, he thought, but he knew he couldn’t
risk giving away who BlueEyes was under any circumstances.
The computer pinged. Rodney opened the mail and hit ‘reply’.
~~~~~~~~
Due to this complaint, I’m changing the name of this mailing list to
‘Atlantis Fan Fiction’. I’m sorry about any confusion this might cause,
but under the circumstances, I really don’t have any choice.
BlueEyes
~~~~~~~~~
Rodney watched the mail appear on the list. ‘Atlantis Fan Fiction’ wasn’t
witty or clever, but it was descriptive and he didn’t think anyone
could complain about it. He reflected that it was fortunate Sheppard wasn’t
around to moan about him giving the list a boring name… because this time he
would probably be right.
~~~~~~~
I know I issued the last challenge, but I’ve had another idea, so if you
don’t mind, I thought I’d share.
As no-one has (as yet) plucked up the courage to write a full length story, why
don’t we each write a drabble? For the uninitiated, a drabble is a short piece
of writing of exactly one hundred words. And to make it easier, it can be on any
subject.
ClassyLady
~~~~~~~
Great idea, ClassyLady! I’m off to make a start now.
I hope everyone feels inspired to participate!
BlueEyes.
~~~~~~~
Rodney sat back and stared at the ceiling of his office. Yes, it was a good
idea. Write a hundred words on any subject. So what could he write about? The
struggles he had because he was lead scientist would be a good one.
He thought for a moment and a smile spread across his face. Dare he? HailMary
had already included him in a story, after all. And it might redress the balance
after HailMary’s awful characterisation.
Feeling very daring, he had just typed, “Leadership”, when a familiar,
slightly irritated voice came over his earpiece.
“Rodney?”
“Yes, Carson. It had better be urgent, I’m busy.”
“You were supposed to report half an hour ago for your routine
inoculations.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”
“Not again, no. It’s ‘waited until tomorrow’ four times already. I want
you here in five minutes, or I’m sending Sergeant Bates to fetch you.”
“Witch doctor,” muttered Rodney under his breath.
“I heard that,” replied Carson evenly.
McKay groaned. Now Beckett would be sure to find his biggest, bluntest needle.
~~~~~~
Beckett watched McKay’s departing back from his office doorway and considered
that he’d never been so close to breaking the Hippocratic Oath. ‘First do no
harm’ really shouldn’t have to apply to a grown man behaving like an eight
year old with an attitude problem. He’d have loved to do something to make
McKay sit still, or better still, shut up, preferably using strong medication.
For some unknown reason, Rodney had been even more twitchy and hyper than usual,
apparently desperate to get back to something. Probably some strange Ancient
device, that on first sight appeared fascinating, but on further investigation
turned out to be a tea maker. Except to Carson’s knowledge no-one had found a
tea maker… or even any tea.
Letting his mind idly consider drugs that might have had the desired effect on
his recalcitrant patient, he opened his safe, removed his tea, and put the
kettle on. Yes, a nice cup of tea and ten minutes reading his emails would be
just what the Doctor ordered.
Waiting for the kettle, he skimmed down his list mails, his eyes alighting on
the fanfic list. His eyebrows shot towards his hairline. A hundred words on any
subject? Oh yes, after the morning he’d just had, he knew exactly what to
write about.
Carson glanced round. No-one seemed in dire need of attention at the moment,
he’d got all his routine work done. He smiled. Yes, a cup of tea and fifteen
minutes writing should be enough to get the frustration out of his system.
~~~~~~~
Carson looked at his watch, and took a long swig of his tea. Ugh. It was cold.
And he’d been writing for thirty minutes. Oh well, never mind. He deserved the
break. Getting the drabble to exactly one hundred words had been harder than
he’d expected. He lost count of the number of times he’d been through it
removing ‘ands’ and changing ‘is nots’ to ‘isn’ts’. Then he’d
realised he’d been a bit overenthusiastic and had to go through it putting a
few back in.
Thank goodness for the word count feature. It’d be horrible having to keep
counting all the words manually. He looked again at what he’d written and
frowned. Perhaps it really wasn’t a good idea to post something moaning about
McKay written from his point of view. Someone would probably guess it was him.
And in any case, weren’t the drabbles supposed to be about SG-1?
Carson thought for a moment. Of course! Janet Fraiser had told him on a couple
of occasions what a difficult patient General O’Neill could be. He just needed
to change it a bit.
~~~~~~
Okay folks, here’s my first ever attempt at a drabble. Getting the word
count exactly right is quite tricky, isn’t it?
Just in case you can’t work it out, it’s about Dr Fraiser’s struggle with
a difficult patient (General O’Neill). :-)
*****
Patience
I have to be patient. Always. No matter what he says or does. But when O’Neill
enters the infirmary, he transforms into a little boy who’s been grounded for
a month, itching to get out, making my life a misery.
“Carson,” he whines. “When can I go? I need to get back to…”
There’s always something more important than being here. More important than
his health. Perhaps he doesn’t care… or doesn’t want to know. I feel like
we’re living on borrowed time, so perhaps he does too. So he takes it out on
me.
My patience is wearing thin.
*****
VooDoo
~~~~~~~
He hit send and drained his tea while waiting for the mail to appear on the
list. He winced. He hated cold tea, but his wasn’t about to waste it; after
all, there was precious little left.
The mail popped up. His eyes widened in horror.
Bugger.
~~~~~~~
VooDoo, nice job! Very descriptive of the struggle a doctor must go through
with a difficult patient. However, one little point – O’Neill says
‘Carson’ instead of ‘Fraiser’. I think you may be fixating a little too
much on a certain gorgeous blue-eyed Scotsman. :-)
ClassyLady
~~~~~~~
Elizabeth looked at her mail. She couldn’t believe she’d just typed that…
and sent it. What had come over her? Did she really think Carson was gorgeous?
Well, he certainly had striking eyes and he was quite simply one of the nicest
guys she knew. But gorgeous?
Perhaps it was the loneliness of command. Or perhaps she’d been without male
company too long… and the opportunity to be just one of the girls having a bit
of a gossip about guys was just too tempting…
She shook herself, then looked at the drabble she’d been working on and
considered the possibility she was developing a rather frightening online alter
ego.
~~~~~~~~
John smiled to himself as he walked into the commissary. He was enjoying the fan
fiction list far more than he’d expected to. Baiting BlueEyes, who obviously
had it bad for McKay, was almost as much fun as teasing Rodney himself. He’d
love to know who BlueEyes was... he’d have to do a little discreet snooping,
ask a few questions. He glanced round the crowded room and spotted the ideal
person. Oh yes, he would be perfect.
Sheppard sat down next to McKay, who abruptly slammed his laptop shut.
“Secret, huh?” he asked mischievously.
“None of your business,” muttered McKay round a mouthful of macaroni cheese.
“So…” said Sheppard carefully, wondering how to broach the subject that
had been fascinating him for days. “How’s the love life?”
McKay’s head shot up. “What?”
“Well, I’d heard…” Sheppard paused, trying to think of way to say it
that was as vague as possible. “…that someone in your department kind of
liked you.”
“Everyone likes me.”
Sheppard frowned. “No. Likes you.” He waggled his eyebrows to
emphasise his point.
The dawn of comprehension crossed McKay’s face. “Someone… likes me?”
John nodded.
“Who?”
Sheppard shrugged. “I don’t know. I was hoping you could tell me.”
McKay looked at him doubtfully. “You’re making this up.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Okay then, so how do you know someone likes me?”
“I can’t reveal my sources.”
“Yeah, right. Don’t waste my time, Major. I have work to do.” He made to
open his laptop and glared at Sheppard.
Sheppard didn’t move. “And that would be secret work.” He grinned.
McKay narrowed his eyes, put down his fork, picked up his laptop and marched out
of the commissary. Sheppard stared at the half eaten meal the scientist had left
behind. Well, that didn’t work, he thought glumly. And what on earth could
McKay have on his laptop he didn’t want him to see?
At that moment, Sheppard was distracted by Carson walking in, his face split by
an ear to ear beaming grin. He looked like the cat who’d got the cream. The
Doctor’s perpetually slightly worried expression was gone, replaced by a look
of total contentment and joy as he headed for the food line.
Sheppard shook his head. What had got into everyone today? Then his ears pricked
up when he heard a voice behind him.
“Well, what about Doctor Beckett?”
“He is kind of cute, I’ll grant you that. But he talks about his mother a
bit too much for my liking. And I don’t like to think where his hands have
been.”
Sheppard couldn’t place either of the women’s voices and he daren’t turn
round – they’d almost certainly realise he could hear them if he did – and
this conversation had the potential to be very interesting indeed. He sat very
still and listened.
“The choices are pretty limited. The military are stupid and the scientists
aren’t sexy.”
“You’ve forgotten about Doctor McKay.”
McKay? He certainly wasn’t stupid. Surely she wasn’t implying he was sexy?
“Yes, I’ll grant you that those hands…”
There was a long pause, in which Sheppard considered the way McKay was always
waving his hands around. How on earth could that be a turn on? The woman
continued, warming to her theme.
“Can you imagine what they’d feel like? What he could do with them?”
“God, shut up.” Woman number two was beginning to sound a little flustered.
“And the eyelashes.”
Eyelashes? There was something special about McKay’s eyelashes? John would
never understand women.
“Yeah, I’d kill for eyelashes like that. I’d never need to use mascara
again.”
“But he’d never shut up, would he?”
“No, probably not.”
To John’s surprise, woman number two sounded kind of disappointed. Could this
be BlueEyes? There was a long pause, in which John was very tempted to sneak a
peek over his shoulder, then woman number one spoke again.
“Not all the military are stupid you know. Major Sheppard isn’t.”
John felt his face redden. He swallowed hard at the thought of what might be
coming next.
“Yeah, and there’s the hair.”
“Oh God, yes. The bed head look. So sexy.”
John sat up a little straighter and smiled to himself. They thought he was sexy.
“Shame about the ass… and the legs.”
Ass? Legs? He looked down at himself curiously. What was wrong with them?
“No ass and itty-bitty short legs. And in any case, I think he’s taken.”
John’s eyes widened. Who by?
“Can I join you?” Carson smiled down at him, completely derailing his train
of thought.
“Er… yeah. I guess.”
“Thanks.” The Doctor sat down, still smiling happily to himself, and began
to eat his dinner. By the time John came to his senses and turned round, the
table behind him was empty.
~~~~~~
As I hope will be obvious, this is about Sam Carter’s feelings for Jack
O’Neill.
*****
I want…
I want to touch him, feel him. I want to run my fingers through his hair. I want
to unbutton his shirt, run my hands across his chest, peel away his clothes. I
want to kiss him, make love to him.
I want him to hold me, caress me. I want him to worship me with his hands and
mouth. I want him to take me, possess me.
I want him to love me.
I want to watch him fall asleep, sated and relaxed. I want to see him wake up,
next to me.
I want what I can’t have.
*****
ClassyLady
~~~~~~~
McKay ran his hand round the back of his neck. Was it getting warm in here? He
looked up from his laptop and glanced round the briefing room. No-one else
seemed uncomfortable.
Beckett was smiling beatifically and doodling on his pad. McKay frowned. It
wasn’t like Carson to grin like a lunatic for no apparent reason. Perhaps he
was ill…. or had finally found a girlfriend. He’d have to ask later.
Sheppard was lounging in the untidy way only he could, leg over the chair arm,
and staring at him. McKay shot a glance over his shoulder. Yes, Sheppard was
definitely staring at him. Why was the Major staring at him? He rubbed
his hand over his face, to make sure there weren’t any oily smudges. He
glanced down at his hand. No, it was clean. He looked up. Sheppard was studying
his fingernails. McKay frowned. Odd, very odd. What had got into everyone today?
He went back to planning his drabble. So far, he hadn’t made much progress –
first he’d been interrupted by Carson, then by Sheppard. And he’d even ended
up leaving some of his dinner.
He had so many ideas he wanted to incorporate… it was going to be difficult to
get them into one hundred words. He really wanted to get going on it…
His thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth walking in.
~~~~~~~
Finally! Rodney closed the door to his quarters and breathed a sigh of relief.
Peace and quiet – and no Major Sheppard. He couldn’t work out what had got
into the man. By the end of the meeting, Rodney had been seriously weirded out
by Sheppard’s behaviour. After catching him doing it several times, he’d
come to the conclusion the Major was staring at his eyes. But why?
He put his laptop down on his desk, and walked through into the bathroom,
stopping in front of the mirror. He peered critically at himself. Just the same
as normal. He leant in and looked more closely at his eyes. No, nothing special
at all. Blue, just like millions of other people all over the world. He shook
his head and went back to his desk. Perhaps he’d tactfully suggest Sheppard
should go see Heightmeyer.
~~~~~~
I thought I’d put forward my view of Doctor McKay. Hope you like it.
*****
Leadership
It’s hard to be the leader. The one who others turn to for advice. The one
others trust and respect. To always have to get it right, to be on top of my
game all the time, twenty-four seven.
My intelligence helps of course. A lesser person wouldn’t – couldn’t –
cope with the pressures of my job, of my life. Someday I’d like to find
someone to share it with, but women are intimidated by my intellect and that
saddens me. They shouldn’t be – I’d make allowances for them, really I
would. Perhaps one day…
It’s not easy being a genius.
*****
BlueEyes
~~~~~~
Very good, BlueEyes. You’ve captured McKay’s arrogance and self-absorption
perfectly.
HailMary
~~~~~~
John sat down at his computer. It’d been a strange day – Carson grinning
like a maniac, no matter what anyone said, and the whole thing with McKay’s
eyelashes. He shook his head. He’d tried to get a good look at them – and he
was pretty sure Rodney hadn’t noticed (and he was grateful for that because
how weird would it look if he had?) – but he couldn’t see anything special
at all.
He drummed his fingers on the keyboard absent-mindedly. Well, he was the only
one who hadn’t written anything yet. He smiled. Oh yes… that would be
perfect….
~~~~~~
Surveying his work, John grinned to himself. That should certainly rattle
BlueEyes’ cage. After reading this, she’d think she had a rival for
McKay’s affections. He’d just have to sit back and watch the fireworks. Now
he was bound to find out who she was.
~~~~~~~
Someone has a crush…
*****
Perfection
I watch him when I don’t think he’s looking. I watch his hands, describing
concepts in the air. Continuously moving, dextrous, supple. I imagine what those
hands would feel like on my skin. What he could do with them… to me.
I want him so much it hurts. But he wouldn’t want someone like me.
His eyes are so blue and intense, like the Atlantean sea. Full of passion and
fire. Surrounded by such lovely eyelashes.
I’d do anything for him, anything at all. But he doesn’t even know I exist.
I’d be Rodney’s forever, if he just noticed me.
*****
HailMary
~~~~~~~
Loved the bit about the eyelashes, HailMary. They are pretty spectacular,
aren’t they? And he’s adorably oblivious about it.
Nice job.
ClassyLady
~~~~~~~
Rodney stared at the laptop, blinked, and stared again. Lovely eyelashes?
Why was everyone suddenly obsessed with his eyes?
And who on earth was HailMary? Did she have the hots for him, or was she yanking
his chain?
He was going to find out if it was the last thing he did.
~~~~~~~~
~End~
More Author’s Notes:
And just in case you thought I was making the eyelash stuff up (in which case
you probably don’t frequent as many David Hewlett comms and sites as I do ;-))
– may I point you in the direction
of some photographic evidence?
The thing about Joe Flanigan’s shorter than average legs is
easy to spot if you look at photos of him standing
next to Torri Higginson. (Though I’m sure I wouldn’t have noticed if chiroho
hadn’t pointed it out to me. :-))
