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United Reformed ChurchNewsletter for November 2006 |
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Alan Wood I have recently had a very enjoyable job to do – self-imposed, of course! When we had the video presentation at the recent Harvest Festival, I decided that there had to be a better way of supporting the projector than using the projector stand which intruded into the aisle, causing a trip hazard, and possible consequential damage to the projector. After a deal of thought and two prototypes, I eventually came up with a design that clips very simply on to the top of the pew, and I am very pleased with it! That left a need for a stand or platform to carry the laptop computer, and resurrecting a drop-down flap from an old bureau and some timber salvaged from the old pews, I came up with a desk top which slots very easily into the hymn-book holder. The result of my endeavours can be seen in the photograph below. So now anybody can set up the equipment!
The next planned usage of the audio-visual system will be at the Church’s 318th Anniversary on 5th November. I’ve got some rough ideas of what Pat is planning – after all, what she plans to do has got to be possible, so I do need to be involved – but I don’t know the details yet. But come along then and be prepared for anything! About the A-V presentation at Harvest, what did you think of it? How did you like the video clips? And did the hymn words with photographs distract you, or enhance your experience? Nobody has written anything for the NewsLetter about the Harvest Service, with the Brownies’ Harvest Boxes, and the lovely flowers; often Val or I pen a few words so that events don’t go unrecorded, but this time we felt that something should be written by a participating spectator, rather than by us who were so closely involved. The Charity being supported by Epsom URC, as you very well know, is Pump Aid, and we have agreed to raise £1,000 to put with the amount raised by Banstead Rotary Club. The amount raised due to the Harvest Festival and peripheral events was a staggering £427. The total so far has not been calculated, but we can’t be far off our target, and we still have the Bike Ride sponsorship to be returned to us. As I said, we’re nearly there, but don’t slacken off yet! Reading Pat’s letter gave me cause for thought. Talking to someone wearing a veil must be like talking on the telephone. This is all very well in that the message gets across, but it can’t be as good as a face-to-face conversation as you miss seeing all the body-language and facial expressions which add so much to a discussion. Marjorie Thomson had a tea-party to mark her 90th birthday at “The Beaumont” in the middle of September, with family and friends. And by the time this NewsLetter comes out, our party for Marjorie will have taken place, on Saturday, 21st October in Unity Hall.
Lily Moody has been a patient in both Epsom and St. Helier Hospitals in these last weeks. Hopefully she may be able to spend a week or two at The New Cottage Hospital before returning home. We continue to remember with our loving concern, Dorothy, Mary and Sonia.
What a happy occasion it was on Sunday, 15th October, when we celebrated Barbara and John Wood's 40th Wedding Anniversary. We all enjoyed the lovely cake, which they had provided and we wish them continuing joy and happiness.
Quite a lot has been said and written recently about the wearing of veils by Muslim women. Then there was the BA employee who was taken to task for wearing a cross. Without knowing all the ins and outs of these incidents, which of course we don’t, it is hard to judge the situation. I do think that we are in danger of missing the point, however. What I expect when I check in at the airport is quick and efficient service (not easy these days, I have to admit, with all the security measures!). I like to be treated with respect and I like a friendly smile. If what someone is wearing does not get in the way of these things happening, I am not too bothered. Likewise, I would expect schools to create a good learning environment where everyone is treated with respect. As long as children could see the woman’s face, I do not see a problem. What we are after is good education. I find it disconcerting to talk to someone whose face I cannot see, but likewise, and for similar reasons, I find that large ostentatious crosses worn as jewellery can get in the way of dialogue. The way I see it, the most important way of showing what we believe is through our actions. Pat Secretary’s
Letter George and I have just returned from the Rotary District 1140 Annual Conference at Brighton. The conference was held at the Brighton Centre and a mere 562 people attended the Dinner and Ball on Saturday evening. Among the speakers during Friday, Saturday and Sunday were George Cohen, who was part of the 1966 England Football Team which won the World Cup, Charita Jones, known as "Momma Cherri" who now runs a successful eating house in Brighton, having appeared in and had a make-over (the restaurant, that is) on Gordon Ramsey’s "Kitchen Nightmare", Col. Mark Cook, OBE, the founder President of "Hope and Homes for Children", and Tim Foster, who was a member of the "Coxless Four" winning a gold medal in the Sydney Olympics in 2000. All these folk represented various charities, all the charities very worthwhile, but the main topic of all the speeches was "Enjoy the Challenge"; in fact, that was the theme of the whole weekend. On Sunday morning we were treated to an ecumenical service led by the Salvation Army Singers and the Brighton Silver Band. This was very stirring: if anyone tells me that we sing our hymns too fast they haven’t heard this band and these singers, it was a very joyful occasion. To me the theme "Enjoy the Challenge" was a very positive theme and perhaps one we could use here at Epsom. There will certainly be a challenge on Wednesday at the Activity Day when we keep 25 or more young people occupied and on Saturday 28th at the Fund Raising Day that we are planning with the Kindergarten. Then there is the challenge to raise £1000 for Pump Aid. In fact, the next few months will be a challenge! Don’t forget the Annual General Meeting on 22nd November. You will be receiving your letters with all the information and the nomination papers in the next week. Please think carefully about who you might nominate for the jobs available, and if you are asked to take on a job or commitment perhaps you also might "Enjoy the Challenge". NOTE CHANGE OF DATE FOR A.G.M. Due to unforeseen circumstances of folk not being able to attend the meeting on 15th November, the Meeting has been moved to WEDNESDAY, 22nd NOVEMBER. Please make a note in your Diary. Regardless of how many items there are on the church meeting agenda, a meeting will take the same amount of time. (with absolutely no connection to the last paragraph above!) COMMITMENT FOR LIFE. As it is a while since there was any definitive description of Commitment for Life I thought this might be helpful to friends who have recently joined us. It is a major department of the URC. The title refers to our commitment to bring life to those parts of the world with major problems. Once collected, the money is sent on to Christian Aid. To help us focus on some major problem areas, the URC selects four, which change from time to time, and from which each church selects its ‘Partner’. At the moment we are supporting Bangladesh: did anyone notice that Bangladesh has recently suffered severe flooding of the Ganges delta area? The many natural disasters that befall their country are not a new phenomenon. But finding new and better ways to deal with emergencies is a constant priority for Christian Aid partners. To avoid large-scale casualties in the coming years, the Christian Commission for Development in Bangladesh and others want to build on the collective knowledge of those who are affected most: to ensure structures are as safe as possible; to help people know wha to do in an emergency; and to make sure that there are mechanisms in place for coping in the aftermath of disasters. Our main giving time to Commitment for Life has been at the Harvest Service. But as we have sometimes concentrated on another cause at Harvest, we have, in recent years, postponed it until our Church Anniversary on the first Sunday in November. Envelopes are available on the table in the Vestibule. However, if you prefer to give in smaller amounts over the year, e.g., monthly, this is quite OK. In either case use the envelopes provided and please fill in the back of the envelope. The first Sunday in November is also the day on which we bring in all the 5p pieces we have collected over the year. OFTEN LICKED... BUT NEVER BEATEN The Americans like their baseball, the Canadians their ice-hockey. The Irish enjoy curling, while the Japanese hero-worship their Sumo wrestlers. I, myself, prefer cricket and 'Scrabble' as pastimes! While I'm prepared to concede that others have the right to indulge in whatever sport takes their fancy, the one thing I'll never appreciate until my dying day is boxing. Why two grown men (and in that nest of rampant feminism, grown women) should want to climb into a ring, and try and bludgeon one another to death is beyond my comprehension. But there's an expression from that sport which describes how I feel. It's called the TKO, or for those who aren't exposed to the barbarities of boxing, the Technical Knock Out. It refers to the fact that, although the losing boxer hasn't been laid out completely cold, the referee stops the fight because, to all intents and purposes, the victim is so groggy, there's no further prospect of fair combat. Life often delivers a TKO verdict on us. Even though we haven't been on the receiving end of the knock-out punch, we've been sent reeling onto the ropes of experience, and we're ready to throw the towel in. We've had about as much as we can take of life’s blows. What do we do then? We can't stop the fight called life, or walk away from it all. Paul knew something of the purpose of boxing. When he wrote to the Corinthians about His work, he said, ‘I am like a boxer who does not beat the air’. For him, the business of preaching and teaching was no shadowy play, it was the real rough-and-tumble stuff of life. What was the secret of Paul’s life? It was grace, the loving help of God, which was enough to enable him to face any experience and come up smiling. ‘I have strength for anything through him who gives me power,’ he told the church at Philippi. So don't let anyone kid you that the good life is automatic. God isn't some kind referee who's going to stop your fight of life when he reckons you're technically knocked out. When the going gets tough, then he weighs in with his grace. God's help may come to you through some human agency, or in some inexplicable surge of new hope that can't be tied to any human act. But He will never let you be beaten because, in Jesus, he has beaten the last enemy, death. (top)CHRISTMAS MARKETS. David Philip Quite a few years ago, I did my first Christmas Markets trip. I forget which company it was, but I had to be down at the station at 5 a.m., for the feeder coach, which took us across to Heston Services, for the main transport; in fact, this turned out to be a National Express double-decker bus, which had started out the previous night from some place in Wales, so after waiting for those on the bus to get some refreshment, and a driver change, we were on our way, to the last pick-up, at 9 a.m. at Victoria; (if I'd known, I could have got a train up, from Epsom at 08:15.) So, we were on our way, down to Dover, and across to Calais, and then on through France, and eventually following the Rhine to our destination, at Osterspei, which is just across the river from Boppard, from where we went out to the local markets, especially the big one in Koblenz. We had some trips along the Rhine, by ship and by road, when it was obvious that a double-decker was not really the best transport for the area. For instance, we were going along by the Lorelei Rock, when the courier said that he would like to take us up on the heights, to look down into the gorge. So we took a turning to the left, and about ½ mile further, the driver put on the brakes, and said, “See that bridge over the road, it’s 4.3 metres high, and this bus is 4.6 metres high.” Later on it was decided to cross the river, by ferry, to St Goar, and one of the crew had to climb up on the ferry superstructure, to ensure that the bus would pass underneath. However, things have changed a great deal since those days. It is now very big business for the coach companies, and this year my coach was one of 25 at Dover, all going across to different bases in Europe. In 2004,1 went to Nancy in France, (deciding against the long travel to Germany). It is a big modern city, with a modern tram system, and one day we went to the local chocolate factory; this was quite old-fashioned, and the chocolatier did not speak English, so a lady in the party who was of French origin, volunteered to translate. All went well at first, but soon became very funny, as it was soon apparent that she was having problems, as it appeared that he was using some local words she did not understand, and furthermore throwing in some rude words as well, which she did not like to mention. From Nancy, we went out to the markets in Metz, and Colmar. Colmar is a really lovely old place, with a German influence on the buildings, and a lovely small market. It is also famous, as it is where the Statue of Liberty came from, and there is a smaller replica standing on a roundabout outside the town. The coach party was, as usual on these trips, almost 100% OAPs, mostly good company and out to enjoy themselves, and prepared to overcome any walking difficulties. The weather was good for us, although we did get snow on top of the Vosges mountains. In 2005, 1 went to Valenciennes, (or Valency,) with Shearing’s coaches, who have their own fleet mostly of new coaches. It is also interesting to note that their drivers are extremely good, and well-informed, so there is no courier in the jump-seat, (despite what views Epsom Coaches may have.) Much more organised, pick-up at the Clock Tower at 1 p.m., by the feeder down to Clackett Lane services, then on to Dover. After the interchange, we were all lined up for loading on the P&O ferry, and as usual, all coaches with their emergency flashers on. This is a signal to the ship's crew that the coach has on board people with walking difficulties, and would like to be located on the ship as near to the stairs as possible. And so, on board, for a late crossing to Calais, then on to Valency; by now traffic was light so we had a good run to the Grand Hotel, an imposing old building across the square from the modern station. Next morning, it was soon apparent that it was perhaps not the best time to visit Valency, for they are going to have TRAMS, so many of the local roads were either shut, or reduced in width, as contractors were, seemingly haphazardly, laying the tram tracks, all over the place, so getting the coach in and out of the city was a real problem for our lovely Welsh driver, who took it all good-naturedly in his stride. The hotel was doing a coach party for the first time, and we were allotted the magnificent ballroom, to use as our restaurant. At breakfast, next morning, some of the party casually mentioned that they had an hospitality tray in their room, whilst others had no such thing. Uproar! Hospitality trays were quickly placed in all the coach party rooms. Hotel policy was that if you were in for one night, no tray. Two nights or more, tray provided. Our trips from Valency were to Arras, Amiens, and Lille. In Amiens the various sections of the market were in different streets, all over the town, so quite a bit of walking to do. Amiens has an enormous cathedral, twice the size of Notre Dame, dark and gloomy inside, and icy cold. Imagine sitting through a service! In Arras, the market was small and compact, only a few yards from the coach park. It was in one long line, both sides, and they had thoughtfully run a carpet up the middle, and also provided little windowless huts, with patio heaters in them, so you could nip in for a warm-up. The Christmas markets consist of what really might be termed garden sheds. All of them are of a similar pattern, made of pine, and having a flap across the front, which goes upwards, to form a protection from the weather: all are highly decorated with every type of strip lighting and fairy lights you can imagine, so it is best to see them at dusk. The market at Lille, was the best I have seen, arranged in the form of a small village, with over 70 stalls. Every conceivable type of Christmas gift was there, most at reasonable prices. They also have another square with decorative tableaux, and a big wheel, about half as big as the Eye. And, of course, as in all places, you can get a good lunch for €14, about £10.00. Coffee Morning The Coffee Morning in Unity Hall on 14th October was organized by the Toddlers’ Group. Three of the mothers came to help, as did Valerie, and I was particularly grateful to have the chairs and tables set up for me. Their husbands brought the children later, and they enjoyed the special biscuits I had made for them, as did Judith’s grandson, Harry. We made £50 for Pump Aid on the morning, and this amount was generously added to on the Sunday, and the amount made now totals £70. A big Thank-You to all who contributed. Modern Hallowe’en celebrations have their roots with the Celtic peoples of pre-Christian times. In those long-ago days, on the last night of October, the Celts celebrated the Festival of Samhain, or ‘Summer’s End’. The priests, or Druids, performed ceremonies to thank and honour the sun. For there was a very dark side to all this: Samhain also signalled the onset of winter, a time when it was feared that unfriendly ghosts, nature-spirits, and witches roamed the earth, creating mischief. So the Druid priests lit great bonfires and performed magic rites to ward off or appease these dark supernatural powers. Then the Romans arrived, and brought their Harvest Festival, which honoured the Goddess Pomona with gifts of apples and nuts. The two festivals slowly merged. When Christianity arrived still later, it began to replace the Roman and Druid religions. 1st November - All Saints’ Day - was dedicated to all Christian Martyrs and Saints who had died. It was called ‘All Hallows’ Day’. The evening before became an evening of prayer and preparation and was called ‘All Hallows’ Eve’, The Holy Evening, later shortened to ‘Halloween’. For many centuries, however, fear of the supernatural remained strong. During the Middle Ages, animal costumes and frightening masks were worn to ward off the evil spirits of darkness on Hallowe’en. Magic words and charms were used to keep away bad luck, and everybody believed that witches rode about on broomsticks. Fortune-telling was popular, and predicting the future by the use of nuts and apples was so popular that Hallowe’en is still sometimes known as Nutcrack Night or Snap-Apple Night. Today, Christians have learned to turn to prayer instead of charms to overcome the powers of darkness. And the deeper, true meaning of All Hallows’ Eve should not be forgotten. As Christians, we all draw closer to Christ when we remember and give thanks for our loved ones and for others who have gone before us through the gates of death. (top) Remembrance Day—Saturday, 11th November On 11th November there will be the Remembrance Service at the Clock Tower, Epsom Town Centre, when the Two Minutes’ Silence will be observed at 11 a.m. This will be attended by the Mayor of Epsom and Ewell, Councillor George David Wood, FCA, and members of the Borough Council. On 12th November at 3 pm. there will be the Remembrance Sunday Service at Ashley Road Cemetery, during which the Mayor will lay a wreath at the Commonwealth Memorial. Royal British Legion—Poppy Appeal 2006 ‘Is the Poppy Appeal still relevant?’ some ask. Sadly, events in Iraq and Afghanistan have shown us that, 85 years after the first Poppy Day was held to help soldiers returning from WWI, the cost of war remains the same. Every year many thousands of serving and ex-Service people and their families who have fallen on hard times continue to approach The Royal British Legion for help. That’s why the Poppy Appeal is as needed now as it ever has been. Last year the Appeal raised a record total of £24.7 million and yet this only accounts for a third of the £75 million required to fund the Legion’s vital work. Much of this money goes to fund Poppy Support, the Legion’s range of welfare services set up to support those who have served and continue to serve in the British Armed Forces. It’s not just older people who benefit from Poppy Support. The Legion helps people of all ages, providing financial, social and emotional help to all those who have been affected by conflict. Beneficiaries range from children to widows, from single mothers to pensioners, in fact anyone who finds themselves in need. Some 10.5 million people – that’s one in six of the UK population - are eligible to approach us for help. Our recent welfare survey highlights the following stark facts:
More reasons to give to the Poppy Appeal:
With British Service people on active duty in Afghanistan and Iraq and in many other parts of the world, a large proportion of whom are currently under 30, the Legion’s role of safeguarding the welfare and interests of serving and ex-Service people will be needed for many years to come. CHURCHES TOGETHER IN EPSOM Phyl Cary There were a number of small but essential items. A cheaper, smaller format of the Christmas advertisement was agreed to. It will not include details of each church’s services which can be found on the CTE Website. The CTE Carol Concert at St.Joseph’s will be on December 14th’ Christmas alone. Two helpers have volunteered to undertake this for this year, but more general helpers needed. A week of Prayer 24/7 like the one held at St. Barnabas is proposed for 2007. It was suggested that a better site to attract outsiders would be a vacant shop in the High Street. There was no report on the total collected for Christian Aid,
since the Treasurer was not present. The Future of the HORTON CHAPEL. Brian Angus, our Chairman, came in from another meeting at this point and filled us in on the details. For those who do not know the Horton Chapel, Gwyneth Smith has written a separate item on its past history and War Service. The next meeting of the Churches Together in Epsom will be on 22nd January and will be hosted by the Quakers, probably at St. Martin’s. A Letter from Epsom Methodist Church Christmas Alone 2006. This is YOUR opportunity to help in a practical way to make a person who would otherwise be alone, join in a very special celebration on Christmas Day. As in previous years we are planning to invite about 55 people, who would otherwise be on their own, for lunch on Christmas Day at the Methodist Church Hall in Ashley Road. Our guests, who come from all over the town, really appreciate the opportunity to share this special day with others, and those who have helped in previous years have found it a very rewarding experience.
We really want this very worthwhile venture to continue but we need YOUR help—please give some consideration to how YOU can help - we can certainly guarantee that you will feel that it has been both fun and very satisfying. Last year over 50 people from varying churches were involved in one way or another ensuring that no one feels it too arduous a commitment. Also if you decide to give it a go there is certainly no obligation for another year and we are sure you will enjoy the experience - ring me NOW - my phone number is 01372 728535.However if you can't help please pray for the venture and for the people who will be our guests this year or if you are going to be alone on Christmas Day and would like an invitation please let me know.Carol Stringer (01372 728535) 12th Epsom Guides We would like to welcome to the 12th the following: Tasmin Vaz, Florence Markworth, Lucy Woolman, Miranda Roberts, Emily Hughes, Grace Tyrrell, Helena Kelly, Lucy Harrison-Brown and, last but not least, Olivia Meehan.
Back in June the girls took part in the ‘Groovy Chicks’ weekend in Grinstead which seems to be a popular yearly event. The 12th Epsom Guides came 2nd and 8th in the ever-popular Scout and Guide cooking competition which had 16 teams. Well done, girls! There was a night-hike on Headley Heath on the only wet weekend in October so far, but it did not put anybody off. It was much enjoyed by all. But the biggest news of all is that five Young Leaders have passed their Baden-Powell Challenge award. There was a big celebration on 19th October to which the parents and families of the girls were welcomed as well as many VIPs, Brown Owls and various Guide leaders. So, many congratulations to Holly Redford, Eleanor Hill, Louisa Byrne, Kimberly Bartram and Beth Davies – a hearty well done from all of us.
If this were not big enough news, Holly Redford also won a place for county-wide International trips, for which 28 tried but only 4 got selected. Well done, Holly. 12th Epsom Brownie Guide
Pack At our meeting on 27th September the Brownies prepared and decorated eight harvest boxes ready for the Harvest Festival. We also welcomed Anne Richardson to our meeting as she came to help the Brownies replenish the plant troughs at the front of the church. We were pleased to have five Brownies at the Harvest Festival, so that we could parade our flag. 4th October was World Animal Day, so the Brownies made themselves an animal mask each and completed various animal puzzles. For the last two weeks the Brownies have been preparing for their First Aid badge, and we are very grateful to Kim Menagh for arranging this and for bringing her assistant, John, to teach the girls the essentials of first aid. Originally we had planned this for two weeks, but with the girls all having a go at doing everything we shall be extending the session to the week following half term. (top)Monday Club As 25th September was Dominion Day in New Zealand the children made headdresses and poi. They then practised swirling the poi.
It was World Farm Animals Day on 2nd October, and after singing a very lively version of ‘Old MacDonald had a Farm’ the children each made a set of farm animal dominoes. As Rosemary was away that day I was very grateful to Gwyneth who stepped in to help. 9th October was the start of Wild Life Week and each child completed a dot-to-dot picture of an elephant, made an origami giraffe and a collage of their favourite wild animals. We celebrated World Food Day on 16th October by making and eating fruit kebabs and popcorn. As it was also Dictionary Day we had a game of naming fruit and vegetables whose initial letters made up the words Monday Club. We were very pleased to welcome Pat to our meeting, but we were rather short on numbers as only two children came. Horton Chapel The future of Horton Chapel is being considered by the Council, the local churches and the residents of the area. It is a large listed building, but now merely a shell.
As many friends know, for fifty years my father, the Revd. WE Evans, was the Free Church Chaplain at the five Mental Hospitals in Epsom, including Horton. I remember what a beautiful chapel it was when I used to visit it as a child. During the war, Horton became an emergency hospital for the armed forces. Many patients were admitted after the evacuation of Dunkirk, One particular memory I treasure is a performance in the chapel of Stainer’s ‘Crucifixion’. Cyril Daddo was my father’s organist, and also the leader of the Home Guard band which played at the Cenotaph and in Rosebery Park. The bass soloist was wheeled in on a spinal carriage. He was flat on his back and covered with a blanket made of knitted squares. He sang superbly, but it was only some time later that I found out it was Ian Wallace. All Saints, or All Hallows, is the feast of all the redeemed, known and unknown, who are now in heaven. When the English Reformation took place, the number of saints in the calendar was drastically reduced, with the result that All Saints’ Day stood out with a prominence that it had never had before. This feast day first began in the East, perhaps as early as the 5th century, as commemorating ‘the martyrs of the whole world’. A Northern English 9th century calendar named All Hallows as a principal feast, and such it has remained. Down the centuries devotional writers have seen in it the fulfilment of Pentecost and indeed of Christ’s redemptive sacrifice and resurrection. The saints do not belong to any religious tradition, and their lives and witness to Christ can be appreciated by all Christians. Richard Baxter, writing in the 17th century, wrote the following: He wants not friends that hath thy love, As for my friends, they are not lost; The heavenly hosts, world without end, 1,255 ancient English churches were dedicated to All Saints - a number only surpassed by those dedicated to the Virgin Mary. Afternoon Fellowship The Rev. Jenny Snashall conducted the Communion Service to begin our session. The next meeting is on Thursday 26th October when The Surrey Trading Standards representative will give a talk with illustrations. I understand the subject is most helpful and interesting and we invite any friends, men and women, to join us for 2.30 p.m. in the Longhurst Room. Evening Fellowship I understand the opening meeting at the beginning of October was a very enjoyable evening with stories and experiences of different holidays together with interesting contributions including a story concerning a cat, and a picture of memories of “Worcester Park in earlier days”. For our next meeting on 6th November we are to have a video of “Ironbridge” in Shropshire, provided by Valerie Wood. It is such an interesting place, I am sure it will be a very rewarding evening. The meeting starts at 8 p.m.
Women’s Church Council Thank you to those who supported our October Coffee Morning. The money received will go towards cards and gifts for friends at Christmas. There will be another opportunity for your help when we have our Gift Table on display on 26th November. The November Coffee Morning is on Tuesday 14th November between 10.30 and 12.00 noon. We always donate to a Services Charity in November and this year we are remembering The Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund. May we have a bumper response.
Copy for the next issue should be with the Editor by 15th October for publication on 22nd October 2006. And Finally . . . (lots more this month!) A woman went to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune-teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question: "Will I get away with it?"I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’. At the wedding, the bride tripped and fell into the arms of the minister. ‘That’s the first time I’ve held a fallen woman,’ he quipped. To which she retorted: ‘It’s the first time I’ve been picked up by a minister!’ The doctor sat his
patient down: "I have some good news and some bad news." People nowadays treat the Ten Commandments like a history exam – they attempt only three. |
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Not every one who has helped in the past is able to do so this
year, so we are appealing for new volunteers - if you can't help on the day
there are preparations prior to the event - tables to be laid - vegetables to be
done - balloons to be blown up and a lot of other tasks to be completed before
the big celebration. We also need help with transport picking up guests from
home at about 12.00 noon and taking them home afterwards at about 3.45pm - if
you can't do both ways one journey would be great. Also we need hosts and
hostesses who sit down to eat with 5 guests to a table, 10 if hosts are a couple,
and generally look after them from the time they arrive at 12.30 pm until they
go home at 4.00 pm.
