1, Honed Giraffe Woblets

2, Haunted Spack and Trouser, served on a bed of nails

3, Whole roast Cornwall, with veg and a boiled potato

4, Sautéed desperation of bin jus, taken by eye

5, Something I found in the corner of the shed (unidentified)

6, Death shadowed Warninglid Souffle, shot from a gun at 50 yards

7, Isle of Man-rod, fresh coastal sock, with egg

8, Lentil incapacity, laced with a contaminant of your choice

Extra contaminants (each)

- £0.99

- £1.75

9, Lacewings and lice, served on a bed of lace and lies Black Lace available at no extra charge May contain traces of spite

10, Gordon Ramsey's still-swearing tongue, removed from his head

11, Sullington Corpse, freshly discovered in a state of advanced decomposition in Sullington Warren. Served “au naturelle” on a grubby tarpaulin (Min 2 persons)

12, Metal tyre-levers, served on a bed of broken snailshells, eggshells and high-explosive shells.

13, Liver and duck-egg mousse infused with contaminated medical sharps