NIGHTINGALES/ROBERT LLOYD LYRICS

Brixton 2003 WORKSHY WUNDERKIND
LEARN TO SAY MAYBE
SLAGS AND ANGELS
BLACK COUNTRY
THREE OTHER WOMEN
RIGHT-HANDED MAN
BRISTOL ROAD LEADS TO DACHAU
OF COURSE YOU CAN'T
RETURN JOURNEY
MYSTERY (FOR LOU)
ONLY MY OPINION
JOKING APART
YEAH, IT'S O.K.
IDIOT STRENGTH
SECONDS
USE YOUR LOAF
BLISTERS
URBAN OSPREYS
INSIDE OUT
UNDER THE LASH
PARAFFIN BRAIN
ELVIS, THE LAST TEN DAYS
BLOOD FOR DIRT
SURPLUS AND SCARCITY
IT'S A CRACKER
HERE WE GO NOW
HEROIN
WHAT A CARRY ON
FAITHFUL LUMP
AT THE END OF THE DAY
HOW TO AGE
WHICH HI-FI?
GIVE 'EM TIME
ONE MISTAKE
WELL DONE, UNDERDOG!
MY BRILLIANT CAREER
THE SON OF GOD'S MATE
START FROM SCRATCH
BUTTER BRICKS
TORN
12 YEARS
THE HEDONISTS SIGH
IT LIVES AGAIN!
MAKE GOOD
DON'T BLINK
THE HEADACHE COLLECTOR
DOWN IN THE DUMPS
LEAVE IT OUT
COMFORT AND JOY
COINCIDENCE
I SPIT IN YOUR GRAVY
SQUARE CIRCLE
PART-TIME MORAL ENGLAND
NO CAN DO
CAKEHOLE
BIG PRINT (EXISTENCE/BLACK AND WHITE)
THIS
THE HAPPY MEDIUM
HARK MY LOVE/LOWER THAN EVER
NOTHING BUT TROUBLE
ON THE JOB/THE BENDING END
INSURANCE
THE WHYS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
PONCES ALL
NOWHERE TO RETURN
BACHELOR LAND
CRAFTY FAG
FAMILY
THE CRUNCH
ALL TALK
LOOK SATISFIED
NOT MAN ENOUGH
FIRST MY JOB
LET'S SURF
DARWIN'S WAITING ROOM
HAPPY EVER AFTER
MR. SUPERIOR
THE PART OF THE ANCHOR
FUNERAL STOMP
THE LAST LAUGH
ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD
FAULTS
NOTHING MATTERS
HEY ROBERTA
COME OVERFLOW
SWEET GEORGIA BLACK
TOP FLOOR TO LET
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST MIDLANDS
GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY
SOMETHING NICE
FEAR EATS THE SOUL
NOT FOREVER
MAN OH MAN

WORKSHY WUNDERKIND

bloodless was the fight he'd talk
of an immortality that's warped
him into an ideogram
monument to the big i am
whose ideas break the mould
in the biopic all will be told
a young tony curtis playing him
yeah, meet the workshy wunderkind

they'll flock to watch the auteur dither
holding his infected liver
and blank paper, waiting to be blessed
his dictaphone begs to be impressed
the critics love a long held tease
the nations she folk on their knees
smell fertility in the wind
there goes the workshy wunderkind

and everybody, as they stood there and grinned,
meant less than the dust to the workshy wunderkind

never for real, always bluffing
in the garret of suffering
the world class sculptor of bullshit
for whom adventure is counterfeit
and holey shoes are the holy grail
art took his hair and made him pale
he's thin on effort but thick skinned
the self made workshy wunderkind

his creative juices remain undisciplined
but future glory has been pre-destined
and your misunderstanding his reason underpinned
how come you have never heard of the workshy wunderkind?

LEARN TO SAY MAYBE


with a degree in some vagueology, the fresh air industry was calling
and with an inability to blush and an enthusiasm for crawling,
twig boy chose the media, he loved it's lack of grace and overcropping
he would become a cliche, and pay his way by teaching japs 'English For Shopping'
via local news and advertising, he courted arseholes and drank with cretins
met a celebrity chef, fucked a page 3 girl, and went to bars that only dicks could get in
and all the while, the etiquette of critical blindness he was digesting
(like the catholic church is anti-abortion because their priests need
children for molesting)
next, he got a job on Eurosport covering dominoes, falconry and kendo
then went mainstream and won awards, for dirty-old-man-isms and innuendo
went to premieres with Dani Behr and fathered Graham Nortons baby
watched the sewage at Stamford Bridge, ghost wrote the best seller "Learn To Say Maybe"
and the stinkier his flatulence the column inches'd just grow louder
breeding a self righteous flambouyance fuelled by columbian marching powder
but he was all heart and the turd he gave to Comic Relief is now part of showbiz folklore
and the day he died, the public cried, but as he would have said, "less is
the new more"

SLAGS AND ANGELS


thin man, ready and waiting
to spill the beans down his shirt
scumbag, all jealous and hating
you can bet your secrets his minds on the dirt
foul smell, well look kid whos talking
he cannot live for asking to die
his hell is the street that he's walking
it's truely gruesome, his shitty little mind
and his ears burn as he listens to shit stir
mouth ablaze, bits of sex in her teeth
his mind aglow, his face ugly and twisted
there's naught up front, even less underneath
bring me the head, the head of the stirrer
i know he's dead, he knows it as well

there's spunk and this boy ain't got it
his disease is all he deserves
and i'll take the crap, take the crap right out from him
he's no heart, no nerve
and i lie in bed and my love reads me poetry
now that's what i, she's what i call an angel
and so all you slags, you stay bitter and lonely
talking pathetic lives, ah just get to hell
'cos you do not know fuck all
bring me the head, the head of the stirrer
i know he's dead, he knows it as well

she and her mouth, a problem held dearly
feeble little girl, whose ignorance brags
rivers of sick flow from her freely
she lives in a world of invented facts
and his ears burn as he listens to shit stir
mouth ablaze, bits of sex in her teeth
his eyes aglow, his face ugly and twisted
there's naught up front, even less underneath
'cos you do not know fuck all
bring me the head, the head of the stirrer
i know he's dead, he knows it as well
and if you say that, if you say that again
i'll be around and i'll kick you in
if you say that, if you say ought again
then i'll be around and i'll kick you in
if you say that, if you say that again
i'll be right round your house and i'll kick you in

BLACK COUNTRY


and lo! on the fifth of the sixth
born to be stiffed by the ethics and quarrels
that loathed to see him resting on his laurels
he said "fuck your morals"
was his own man for bad or worst
an also-ran spawn of the cursed by sick fate
and finding love a test would surely dictate
that he would pick hate
and time would prove a weapon
his crime would be to breath the air
he would stain the sheets of the black country

and in good stead for later life
he made the bed, his future wife was cookin'
a soon come life for them, as she was lookin'
at the ruckin'
a class mates ears in either hand
on to the tears he did expand with spittle
the spite inside the phlegm was uncommital
but pre-marital
and the pome it had been tasted
't was the homophobic, racist flirt
that she would wed in the black country

within the snare of wilted flowers
she rushed to share her youthful hours with learning
that tolerance and reason are for burning
he's not for turning
and once upon ago, the sex
would pretend not to know the hex of violence
the days it would plot treason, drunk on silence
(potent alliance)
and a thorn he'd always carry
still born is what she asked to be
got divorced from hope in the black country

her sell by date it came and went
stood at the gate of heaven, bent on boredom
born and bred qualifier for whoredom
he got the chore done
he'd borrow cash and grass his pals
and scratch his rash and ever shall be a user
the empathetic liars down the boozer
'll say they love a loser
but overpriced is such a friendship
thank christ, he drank himself to death
he was a boil on the arse of the black country

the despair that had been suffered
offered no prayer for the belated death
of that ugly child in the black country
no, they'll mourn him not in the black country

THREE OTHER WOMEN

well, bella's face, it would not disgrace
the cover of a beauty bible
she is a clear cut case of all that is ace
but, my heart is on trial for libel

and laura's smile would fuel a missile
could be the bang that puts the fun in thunder
she exceeds nubile, with effortless style
but, my head is two verses hereunder

oh, edwina's mind is ever so kind
lives in a frame that you just wanna smother
she owns a behind that's a gift to mankind
but, my balls are in the hand of another

wow! Lisa's breasts put me to the test
they ice a cake of brain as big as a planet
she would manifest as simply the best
but, her essence is beyond me, god damn it

three other women, three other women
i got three other women, three other women
but not la la la, la la, la la la ..

RIGHT-HANDED MAN


What's new? he stayed sober
curfew, and he gets older
too true! can bet he dies alone
how come? his conscience sold him
no fun! the devil told him,
"all done, your heart is not your own"

lack of control swallowed his soul
she was his goal
and he's right handed

so what? there is no glory
thought not! this hard luck story
is too hot for comfort in hell
heatwave! phew, what a scorcher
behave! put up with torture
god saves the best laughs for himself

lack of control swallowed his soul
she was his goal
and he's right handed

BRISTOL ROAD LEADS TO DACHAU

Bristol Road leads to Dachau
Don't ever believe that you're safe
There's someone, somewhere gonna show you how
Willing to spill blood to get their own way

From Birmingham via Belfast to Belsen
You're going to get burned to death
No such thing as innocent
Someone wants to confiscate your breath

A girl and her friends went for a drink
The whole pub got blown sky high
Why those people? I just can't think
Do you think she was lucky not to die?
(She can't walk now
She can hardly talk now)

Bristol Road leads to Dachau
Murder by tens or thousands, it's all the same
On't think Auchswitz couldn't happen now
To think somebody could stop the game
Stop that game
Stop that train
Those are not bakeries
Those are crematories
Those are not bakeries

OF COURSE YOU CAN'T

I'd like to ask you sir about the quality of life getting higher
oh please sir can you give me the objects I desire?
of course you can't, that's not the way things are
its a bit of a shame, but the nature of the game
and if you wanna play a part
you're gonna get a broken heart
I know you'd like to make a start
but of course you can't

there she goes again, the girl that I fancy
please sir can you make her feel the same way about me?
of course you can't, its not the way it is
its a bit of a drag, but you can't have this
and if you wanna play a part
you're gonna get a broken heart
I know you'd like to make start
but of course you can't

- bring it on in son, bring it on in son
bring it on in son and we'll break it all down
red light, red light
I sit here laughing, you stand there and frown
give me your question, I'll give you your answer
is that your question?
well, no you can't have
gimme gimme gimme, can't have -
of course you can't, that's not the way things are
its a bit of a shame but the nature of the game
and if you wanna play a part
you're gonna get a broken heart
I know you'd like to make a start
but of course you can't

there it goes again, the dream that I fancy
please sir can you conjure up that kind of life for me?
of course you can't, its not the way it is
its a bit of a drag but you can't have this
and if you wanna play a part
you're gonna get a broken heart
I know you'd like to make a start
but of course you can't

RETURN JOURNEY

hello, does the voice sound familiar?
does it sound like a journey back home?
You're always going back
back beat, let your feet do the talking
oh, you know the sort of thing
it's nothing new

hello again, do you want to make friends?
you know its easier this way
we both know where we stand
we all know what to do
it's so easy
our feelings are mutual
return journey is a ritual

well, well, well, all change
no-one knows what I'm saying
they swamp me in echo
they keep me out of reach
it's so easy
for them its so easy
you know, my arms have a limited stretch
and I can barely grasp
and I can hardly feel
I just know enough
to realise we can't fail
so I just go home
I just go home
a safe journey
return journey

MYSTERY (FOR LOU)

Life's a pearl set on gold indecision
Big, bad world creates no recognition
Youth is shining
Scope is screaming ideas to the daylight
Silver lining
Hope is dreaming, up
For one so young, for one so free
No curtains hung, no history
Guitars are strung with mystery, for you

Sing of joy and the cynics go a-hunting
But listen, boy‹the barbs and spikes mean nothing
Trails for blazing
Stars are beaming visions through the darkness
Rules for waiving
Futures dreaming, up
For one so young, for one so free
No curtains hung, no history
To rush headlong into the sea
Guitars are strung with mystery, for you

ONLY MY OPINION

"Must get myself a box of matches"
was a song made famous by Frank Sinatra
a classic in its time, that's come again
adopted by the new wave of smokers
a mature ol' wheezer, smouldering geezer
recall him as a fag you're lighting
but a well known doctor is informing,
"be careful what you put in writing"
the fruit machines are all regulated
the beer you drink is nearly all water
and modern film just goes downhill
that 'better lock away your daughter'
is pure shit, do dismiss it
and make your own choice in life's indian
I mean, meat madras and boiled rice is nice
but remember that's only my opinion

JOKING APART

(Doo be do)
I like a joke as much as the next man
that's not to say the next man is a joke
and I don't like his jokes
the content is as clichéd as his delivery.
he's unpretentious, yes, but selfish
you try laughing at his expense.

I like a drink as much as the next man,
or approximately as much, I mean,
let's not get too serious about this,
there's no use in crying over wasted words.
poor thing hurting for amusement
oh, can't you take a joke?
oh, can't you see the funny side?
don't you know this is a joke?
ha ha ha
take it like a man
take it like a man, up the kilt
take it like a man, don't be filled with guilt
take it like a man, like a big tough man,
take it like a man
I go ha ha ha

YEAH, IT'S O.K.

Your life depends on it over and over again
Pop goes the cop shows, I shop you all, I am your friend
The trouble is he fancies my best friend
I'm worried and I'm sorry, worried that I'm no help
I'm useless at times, useless at times like this
It's a fair slap pal, fair slap pal, that kind of thing.

Giving up sulking is as hard as stopping smoking
I sit in the right hand side of the pictures
watch but undecided about the culprit
the motives and the script, they could lean either way

Got lost for three hours
Ended writing like I've read
Outside the clouds cleared up, the lucky they cheered up
those without will nor reason just peered up
opened their mouths, learned the words
live and learn

dunno why they don't look down, they must be lunatics or something
Nah, just slow, nah, they're just slow enough
Vocation, don't know what it tastes like let alone how to smell it
Vocation, dunno what it tastes like let alone how to spell it
I T ha ha ha I T ha what use are you?
I T ha ha ha your life descends on it IEAOU
Vocation, don't know what it tastes like let alone how to spell it
I T ha ha ha your life depends on it

IDIOT STRENGTH

The tables are turned and there's other wheels in motion
A dose of your own is always sugar-coated
My fingers are burning but it's not a test of strength
I see you fall back on fear
Look for something that you understand

The shoe's on the other foot and those words seem so throwaway
The claim to what is right is always out of reach
The glove's on the other fist and the rules are re-unwritten
I just lie in wait of the day you'll try to understand what I mean

Maybe it's more than words, or my words aren't up to scratch
But this method of communication always seems to hit me back
And there's a strange hand on the wheel
I feel a new script on the cards
Control and understanding are just two things I seem to lack

And now the tables are turned and there's other wheels in motion
Another man's humor is always hard to swallow
My energy's burned but my capacity remains in tact
I lie in wait of the day you'll try to understand what I mean

SECONDS

wallowing in the muck and ignorant to the facts
from the pathetic boulevards to the council prefabs
pictures of the king in every hall
a solid reminder on every wall
that in a two horse race against a hair from his face
a close shave but you run second
father brother mother sister
no good sperms are better than others
lie back while we try to discover why

a pat on the skull for unripe fruit
white dullards in search of roots
regret the day they found their truths
now get down boy and clean my boots
it is only a fashion, an attempt at being modern
but modern for those is strictly secondary
father brother mother sister
no good firm is better than others
lie back while we try to discover why

amazed by the scope but abused by the limit
goshing and wowing all over the shop
you're growing a garden of nice green isms
endlessly(?) discussing what to stop or start
but down in the mouth when dirty fingernails speak
yeah yeah it's another second
father brother mother sister
no good worms are better than others
lie back while we try to discover why

USE YOUR LOAF*
turned sixteen, offered the key
to middle age, a job at the bakery
where flunkies dated packers
the bosses got to date creamers
and the jokes were handed down like diseases
I learned all three, threw them away
but I remember them even today
'I only work here for the bread'
'I need the dough'
'use your loaf'
I thought go
around this time came phrases new
longer words but with the same old bracket
people speaking for generations
wearing clichés on their jackets
gang mentality, individuals calling themselves we
so desperately wanting to be loved by the world
they are wanting to say,
'here's your chance to win a car'
be household names who have paid their dues
too scared to move

...to be continued at a later date
watch out for-
tortured sights
sick humour
'I think we should feed the world's starving millions
with the world's stray dogs'
I only do this for my head
I need the dough
use your loaf

BLISTERS

The type of person attracted to flypaper
They've got words like magnets, all of their own
Needles and knives blend into the wallpaper
They're looking to be the unfortunate Rolling Stone

Where memories consist vaguely of sleep
They're cool in the winter in the right clothes
The shoes that leave blisters upon their feet
Their habits and preferences everyone knows

Those wonderful people attracted to the toilets
Hypnotized by an imaginary watch
A fine looking corpse is found in the press
Don't like the flavor but still drink the scotch

Still memories consist vaguely of sleep
It's cool in the winter in the right clothes
The shoes that leave blisters upon their feet
Their habits and preferences everyone knows

The stuff of dreams for nice young boys
As they close their eyes now and then
Spot the empties, hear the noise
Forget the taking(?), start over again

Drink a glass of champagne
To the misery and pain
Things like getting the bus
Oh life is the worst
With the ever rising price of cocaine
Trying so hard for a smell of the fart
In an all out effort for maximum claim to fame
Claim to shame, claim to the same

Those wonderful people attracted to the toilets
Hypnotised by an imaginary watch
Fine looking corpse is found in the press
Don't like the flavour but still drink the scotch
And Kestrel lager
Writes glamour reruns
Of tangerines for Christmas
In modern slang
Shang-A-Lang

URBAN OSPREYS

the second well might bust a gut
the guilt, the ego, the time limit
brought about by age-old lies
born from the dream of pale blue skies
They bust a gut to find a face to wear
But the big dilemma's always there

too wired up, too scared of sweat
the open pores that smell of death
too paranoid of being taken for a ride
we have become mean
and I mean to decide before too long
but my ear's hear the big ones eerie song
"between you and me and I'm serious
there's an osprey's nest in our back garden
I'm worried about it, worried stupid bout the eggs
I think why our garden of all places?
I wonder sometimes is it true?
urban ospreys sound quite interesting
but how can I put it into use?"

another world might lust for crumbs
but you spilt my pint, now buy me another
I have the pressure of day-to-day living
What on Earth can I say to my lover?
The two of us we lust for crumbs OF care
But the big dilemma's always there

too far gone to try and hear
the open gob that smells of beer
but it all falls into place in the end, you know
this kind of stuff
so ponder, ponder what you've heard
the big dilemma's mighty words
"between you and me and I'm serious
there's an ospreys nest in our back garden
I'm well blown by this fact but worried stupid bout the eggs
I think why our garden of all places
I wonder sometimes if it's true
urban ospreys sounds quite fascinating
but how can I put it into use?"

INSIDE OUT

prayers answered with our wonderchart
fool mothers and daughters and the pounds will look after themselves
allow your viewers the thought that you think them intelligent
the climate is dull - use it
keep harping on about the recession
no one will really give a damn in a year or two
so there's nothing to lose

here's another soul sick drone
born and bred in a great British home
another slice of half-baked ideas to amuse your gramophone
the climate changes to suit the weather
but I don't know, don't know whether
music is just another term for noise
i'm told it's all about expression
so express yourself boys
i give a percentage of my earnings to the publicists strike fund
there's something admirable about a thief
they're searching out fragile hearts
selling the blood of foreign parts
to Better Badges for the fans
to keep 'em happy and clapping their hands
and we can just laugh it off in a year or two
so there's nothing to lose

UNDER THE LASH

Like pigs to the slaughter, laughing all the way
Keeping your mind off things
Don't notice the light of day
Its the second bests ok by me show
Big laughs at little jokes
Private ponds on wayward paths
Coolly lying low as blind bait, well out the way
"Give them the idea that they're fighting us
And we've got them beat without any fuss"
We've caught your local peeping tom
Now would you care to help with the collection
We need your cash for our defence
In the extreme case you make the connection
That the splendid things on offer just mask the misery
The rapist is excused once more, he learned it from TV
Oh the cover up, are you frightened?
For gods sake answer the phone
Tell him that you're not alone

(Long to reign over us)

More swine to the slaughter, shouting all the way
"Aren't we the lucky ones? we got a scapegoat for the day"
Wearing slogans on their faces, like
'No mind rules my head'
Your working class pride gives the power
To those who keep you dead
Its blind faith, plain ignorance
Keep the damage away from home
And the damage won't cut too near the bones

PARAFFIN BRAIN

power, outlook, actions questioned
redistribution of aggression
gangs = bourgeois/"we're alright jack"
wearing danger under a hat
I get a paraffin brain at the mention of your name

electric fatteners
say, a new fur for her
a fur for her takes one furtherer
does education for the kids
mean big green energy in the sticks?
I get a paraffin brain at bought acclaim

forced into the pub for a pint of gas
buy your entourage their laughs
buy 'em a drink/ make mine a gin
go play us the jukebox, put your small change in
inflammable brain - know the power of hate

money, violence, motives questioned
want a redistribution of aggression
gangs = bourgeois/"we're alright jack"
group excuses under a mask
gives me paraffin brain, the mention of your name

there's certain places for certain faces
always bills to ease the conscience
always mazes to saved faces
there's trad routes to share with your friends
I get a paraffin brain at the mention of your name

at the table cut the cheese
a disturbing noise for the bourgeoise
sex shops! sundays! don't hit back!
but now the blow up doll sits on the point of a tack
ha! paraffin brain, paraffin brain
I get a paraffin brain at the mention of your name

ELVIS, THE LAST TEN DAYS

previous unreleased diary entries
with
in-between time, TV time, refried bean time, silk sheet time
but in the meantime-

day one: I thought this gave me some purpose but the repetition of it all is
tiring me out. is it too late to turn my luck elsewhere?
day two: dunno what got into me yesterday, it's so easy this life we all
play. why start at all just to give up?
day three: it seems popularity leads to indifference; I used to take the car
downtown, but what can I do now to bring the town around?
day four: I can see the humour in being a law unto myself, it's just I have
to lie and that's what I'm scared of.
day five: jeez, caring's getting out of hand. let the brats wail, let the
crippled crawl. what I supposed to do to make it all better?
Day six: I don't want to be a martyr to a long-lost cause. Everybody is
loved. Why do I feel guilty? I'm not to blame.
Day seven: I've been thinking about it, I'm special to me, why stick to
tradition? Shoot the past! shoot the past!
day eight: no, you lazy bugger, get your bloody finger out, because playing
privileged is playing possum.
day nine: got it! both! I must try to be the perfect person. sometimes
noisy, sometimes quiet, sometimes hard and sometimes frail.
day ten: I'm too tired to do anything today.but, tomorrow I'll start my
diet and answer some of my fan mail.

BLOOD FOR DIRT

hadn't realized that I wanted a war
sees misled unity, there's blood on the handle of the door
and blood for dirt in polls beats game for a laugh
top television whispers vive le psychopath
and its chanted in bars, sipping continental lager
but belching British breath that will get into your eyes
and it'll change your mind
hadn't realized

see here, you want babies, you want beer
look here, why brew babies, why brew beer
you want sex and drugs and choice,
then don't choose death
use your loaf and don't vote death

yes to none of this
bet on the wrong horse
your cash and your trust
put on the false one
and at the starting gate the so called sure fire
and they sure will fire
will you cheer them on?

why then do you want babies
some people don't have gardens
some people have never seen dirt
some people lust to fondle dirt
some people fight for dirt
I say give everybody the right to dirt
give everybody the right to live
and we demand cheaper bus fares now!

SURPLUS AND SCARCITY

we have surplus, we have scarcity
famines are good news for dealers
the sick heart of food economics
the good news of the failed harvest
(?) starving
provides a cure and not prevention

plenty has brought us not utopia
but the economics of the madhouse
the first depresses third world prices
cash loans to pay for food, yeah
all your eggs in a foreign basket
leads to economic dependency

food aid can mean dependency
food aid, no self sufficiency
food aid to take away
for when food is a commodity
aid leads to commercial markets
and support for political policies

we have surplus, we have scarcity
and if you can't pay you're not interesting
to this world system
tens of millions hungry each day
the outside can not be depended on
need self confidence and self reliance

IT'S A CRACKER*
The finger points at shop floors for petty thieving
Exemption shines up where the big leagues talk
To get 'em worried i.e. get 'em believing
That right as rain's the way the privileged walk.
Keep one eye cocked for minor offences
Support the hip hypocrisy of crime
Big stealing pays to build up the defenses
And gives authority above the question why.
Where struggling competes with smiling
The arguments inherent in the soup kitchen
When it's a good old time for sighing
There's no backing down without giving in.
The finger points away regarding violence
Unlawful exercise in physical force
Pit 'em against each other build a fence
And give the reins to him on the police horse.
Keep one eye cocked for personal preferences
Handy pandemonium if and when required
Get it filed away give it a reference
Glossy authority beyond the question why.
When struggling contends with smiling
Looking to take all that you've got to give
It's a good time for striving
If you're not ready for dying, you'd better live.

HERE WE GO NOW

Continuing though I've dried up
I guess I know no other way
I've been a joker for years, a joker for years
I feel no pain in my funnybone
And yeah I am success story
Listen to shapes and talk about them
(?) I've started so I'll finish
Just one more drink before the bar shuts
Big hands, I've (?) so 'll finish
Another (?) before the scene cuts
I who have nothing, born the son of a carpenter
I had to work, I carved my way through life
By word of mouth, an angel for a wife
And now I've got a reputation
It's a nice ache that's keeps me keeping on

So as I get on my way,
Give me please some space tomorrow
For cracks on porn, uncensored comics
Of NHS cuts, liberty rations
But commercial gain keeps on trucking
Comical pain, it keeps on bleeding on

HEROIN


It appears that there's an increase in access to and so an increase in usage
of heroin in England of late now
I'm aware that we can turn into unemployment and look at the government yeah
let's cast a scowl
I'm aware of censorship and do support free choice but it seems ridiculous
with heroin's history that its chosen and held, it's coolness long since
gone along with the spirit of its supporters
Saying hI to dependence is sheer dickheadedry
Money and a slump, round and round we go again
Remember marijuana don't lead to heroin
Use your choice like you don't choose to chew razor blades
I find it sad so here we go with a reinstatement,
Singing, I'm the kind of guy who finds it sad
I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemies now
But it's hard to come to clean in the present situation
Its as good not to bother, standards need reevaluation
Redistribution of spending its said, like where are those grants Instead
they leak out heroin, now that really is bad news

Lets meet this chap I know, who wouldn't hurt a fly
I'm told a cockroach takes him unto the limit
It's a fear of increase which he perceives, not so with dope leading to
harder drugs now
In fact it's the law that stops him from taking action to prove the opposite
dopes legalization might, just might, provoke him to point a finger at the
scum that's making from it now
Just wait for a death and the sting it may bring
Wait for death and the sting it may bring
To put a stop to this daydreaming
The usual price, the usual price and the poor will pay to chase the dragon,
the new bandwagon, don't even know its name
Get the shit off the streets, smoke in authority
Comes a time when free choice kills
The usual price, the usual price and we watch as the poor flock to pay now

WHAT A CARRY ON

What a carry on, you can't believe a word I'm saying
I'm into laziness and all it breeds
What a baby, an idiot
brown nosing a path through the mediocre
Trying to be an intellectual

What a carry on, an unhealthy respect for bodies
Shapes and sizes, so unhumble yeah
Here's just a few reasons why
this creepinging scrounger plays it safe
I'm blinded in my critical eye

Scared to be seen taking aspirin
I'm hooked on happiness and its a joke
Proud to be seen bloody bleeding
I've got a misdirected lust
it's a warped joke

(repeat verse 1)

FAITHFUL LUMP

I get a faithful lump in my throat
and I find a faithful lump lodged in my bed
and I get a faithful tune in my mind
can't get this faithful love from my head

I give you this (?)security
god I know (?)
I'll leave you to read the paper
and to get all the entertainment on your own

we asked 100 doctors
what their remedy is for the cough
he said 'do you want fame and fortune?'
they said 'no we don't so sod off'

I get a faithful lump in my throat
I find a faithful lump in my bed
and I get a faithful tear in my eye
can't get this faithful ladder (?) from my head

here's to the future
where nothing that was not (?) everyone
ooh, catch that falling fate
grab that falling grace
ooh, catch that falling fate

AT THE END OF THE DAY

Well at the end of the day hear the call
when all's said and done and there's nothing at all
gather around the fireplace with hot chocolate in hand
my uncle owns a theater so let's form a band

well it's all back again what a scream
getting punch drunk on mouthfuls of a gaudy new dream
I got too much to think, there's a girl in my soup
my daddy has money so let's form a group and let's go

as the leaves turn to brown bang on cue (let's fall down)
and that something for nothing gets put in a stew
when all of the things that could do go wrong
well I'm feeling unhappy so let's write a song (sing along)

being at one with your own better self
is more comfortable than being left on the shelf
the gaping silence never stops to amaze
so let's eat some toast to those better days

well its all back again what a scream
and that something for nothing is back on the team
get bitter and twisted and read into this
yeah read all you can and there's nothing you'll miss (what is bliss?)

at the end of the day
when there's nothing at all

HOW TO AGE*
Listen well, cause this story tells how to age
Just sit and watch and the day goes by - how to age
Take off your clothes and get in the swim, be all the rage
Get on the role and take it on the road, singing "Time's a cage"

Growing up is no real problem, just wait and age
God gives life and God gives earthquakes and cut throat razors
But they'll never know how hurt you've been - its how to age
And that's your real consolation - yeah how to age

I sit and watch with most average eyes, watch and age
I sit and smile as the time goes by, its how to age
And that good time we had that's long in the past
Well it seems like yesterday
And I'm never ever gonna let it rest - how to age

Worry not, don't set yourself up in a state
A fear of death by experience is outweighed
Yeah God gives life, God gives earthquakes and disposable razors
But shaving of your unsightly hair is just one way to age

It seems that chequebook journalism is all the rage
Save a few quid on your grocery bill with a front page
The scum tactics that put you in a spot, each and every day
Be a fat old bag or a mature man, that's age these days
Take it away.

WHICH HI-FI?
even the big start small, kicking cans around the block
full wallet walking tall, have to protect what you've got

well I'd like to leave mine to charity
but heard nasty rumours in the family
loving favours asked in haste
oh what's the secret of my case?
as care unheard of comes to town
descendents follow me around
and I thought I had time left still
dig the problematic will
and oh if the world was in tune
my value it would decrease
ha ha ha the world in tune
the possibilities increase

use cash to save the people knowing
about this hell I'm going through
some chance, my advisors keep on showing
me the things that I could do
like save it for that far off day
relatives expect so much
as they mourn you passed away
he always was a soft touch
and always remembered his friends
cracked it smart but kept his roots
read - always a means to an end
smart my arse! cries for the loot

I thought of starting my own circus with life's contradictions
vegetarians with cats, oh life's contradictions
see elephants hang from the top of the big top
the knife throwers don't know when to stop
clowns that'll make you cry, the muscle man as funny guy
an active sort who stays in bed, a lion's mouth with chewed-up head
gags of sex and politics to 'I only came here with the kids'
sidesteppers of the tightrope, mice scare tigers, fire eaters choke
someone's legalizing dope, some hope
cos ideas are castrated small
you don't fuck about with the economy
clinking coins walking tall
so back at home with a family

my father recommended this accountant
he did well for himself, my dad
he died recently of alcohol liver
but left us the best times he ever had
a life of my own, admirable idea
the cause is grateful, life expectancy nil
there's no looking for the second coming
oh no here comes the barman's till
a swift one afor I go -
our fee for this show is five hundred quid
that's ten weeks on the dole
finance! wow! the nightingales lift the lid

GIVE 'EM TIME

no worthless gift for a child's Christmas, don't waste their time
with this year's hula hoop, just give 'em time
so there's your stumbling block, like what is time?
where does space begin and end?
grown ups twist, go santa claus

self-imposed serious mystery, knowledge is the quest
knowledge is the quest, experience he know best
so don't do what you can't understand
you're a child, just a child
events take place that make you a man
you gotta be reasonable but wild crap
ugly ducklings against the clock
go on and rock around the clock
let's rock against the clock
come on and rock, rock, rock against the clock

happy Christmas is around again
but this year it's not the same
they say "it's for kids really"
as they grope for hangovers, adult stories
so tell me when is doing nothing the same as doing something?
the answer - to get to the other side
and when is a bus not a bus?
when it turns into a street
oh excuse his little joke
he'll grow out of it, give him time
get into his little jokes
you'll get into 'em given time
you gotta give 'em time

ONE MISTAKE

Takes one to fuck things up
a mistake to live with forever
and this stupid thing brings home the truth
you are never to sing through happiness
its always handy when in need of an excuse
a weapon in the darkness

a type of thing capable of burning
leaving ashes hotter than the fire
it's like a suicide, the damage is done
the knowledge that you can't be right
case proven, apologies never won
a stain in the daylight

a connection that can never be cut
ridiculous(?) song, the lyric is useless
when the damage is past repairing
a connection that can never be cut

heart in the open flaws

the stench of those ashes is masked by no perfumes
the stale smell of regret
it's like a suicide, the damage is done
the knowledge that you can't be right
case proven, apologies never won
a stain the daylight
heart in the open flares
heart on the line

WELL DONE, UNDERDOG!

Well, did you hear about the Irish man who opened a tandoori restaurant
He did quite well for himself, it was quite a lucrative line of business
And he was competent where it counted, Sing well done underdog!
And she was OK after all, well done, underdog!
She ran a shop and started riots, saying "Here folks, take back your money"
To social pleaders with no idea, she said "Give 'em your arms honey"
And I for one, I'll struggle on, chewing on my hot dog
And though the bun be stale and the mustard hot,
The meat doggone under done
I eat in Birmingham where the council has just passed a new resolution
That from now on they'll plant thinner trees
So muggers they can't hide behind them
And believe or not, I'm a-told it's fact
I mean, blimey, when we talk of pressure
But, here's something that'll cheer you up
Did you know they have free phones in Cuba?

MY BRILLIANT CAREER

I'm a cynical fowl clucking around the farmyard
brain eating food for thought, shitting all over the place
my memory's like a sieve I can just remember
big feeds, big greed, big mistakes
and so I've given up competing with the pacesetters
the big cock's they crow the loudest blah blah blah
but I'm an arrogant fool messing about on the motorway
brain beating fists full of words in my mouth
I stumble around like a loser with a grudge
big stage, big step sideways
or one tiny step for one tiny man
one big zero for mankind
So why do I bother?
I've always hated teachers' pets
I don't think dogs should be made to smoke cigarettes
I don't want to hear the ballad of Mott the Hoople
halfwit tunes to amuse the lesser people
but I'm still a useful tool serving a function
pretending that if I'm aware there is no need to care
the choice is all my own, I can lose if I want to
I'm a big jerk, a little star(?), a touch short sighted
So here am I crawling with the pacesetters
and the big cocks still crow the loudest down on the farm
(let's hear 'em crow now)

We're useful tools, keeping things down
by pretending that if we're aware there is no need to care, as we sing it's
my party I can cry if I want to
I can cry if I want cry if I want to
So here we are, we're doing what you expect us to
and the big cocks still crow the loudest down on the farm
cock-a-doodle doo

THE SON OF GOD'S MATE

I am the son of God's mate, he's got enough on his plate
But feed me, feed me money, feed me love
Feed me, feed me goals to fuel my lust
Feed me effort, leave me effort, don't leave me wealth
I'll leave you my body, here take my health

No fear, I will not bite your hand
I don't want to lick the sweat of your labour
Like everybody else, I want to work
Like serfs at the manor, begging for bread

Feed me, feed me thoughts, feed me buts
Open my stomach and take out my guts
I'll kiss your lips, I'll stroke your thigh
I'll kindle your flame and then I'll laugh until I cry

Show me more men with hoses partly covered by trees
Show me my dinner, heat my sex
Show me images of humble Emmanuelle
Take my light and copyright her name

Set me free, please, quench my thirst
Feed me, I want to work
I'll walk to work, I'll walk to work
There's a clever double meaning there, do you get it?
You're so brainy, so stupid, hungry and dirty
You're an idiot, it's understood, brilliant and lovely
You're so sloppy, a singer of the words
Do you call that singing?
What a funny guy, so sexy, so perverted
You're a vampire, an ogre, so ordinary
You pay your debts, you look your best, live worthily
You still believe that it all happened
Believe a bearded bloke is your friend
Don't you know there are only acts of genius?
You're the son of God's mate

START FROM SCRATCH*
Youngish chap, a betting lad, refused to swim the pool
Did not want the doggie paddle he had learned about at school
He was too hungry, he spat on company cars
A real country bumpkin
Effort required right from the start
Girlie crap, that sitting pretty shit, the daily jokes
Routine check up chuck it out

There are healthier waters in which to soak
Start new walks on Sundays, around the collecting plate
Take all time off on Monday, the boss's credit's out of date

With a few empty egg boxes I righted all my wrongs
I was feeling down in the dumps so I sang a happy song
The laws did not like it and so the volume increased
Start to scratch at the surface
Lets have some new colours released

BUTTER BRICKS

the salt of the earth
a rich man's spice
work all week
eat corn for days
to feed the weekends meat
there is no time on time off
to stray through books
and dancing on a Saturday
will never build houses
made of butter bricks

those above us
know all the secrets
of our feeble lives
we know its unfair
sometimes we despair
but try not to care
get on with it and the rut goes on
and dancing on a Saturday
will never build houses
made of butter bricks

TORN

the mysterious they want me to
and it's as if it's an order
I can spot them but here I go
I fall every time
friends hate to see me walk
it seems like they hate me
I stand empty and depressed
and I'm torn every time

cannot force another face, try to pretend all's well
it's like a threat or something, perhaps a bet or something
but it kills me

the words are always wrong
but the retorts are the hardest
it's like hit him hard and watch him drop
and I fall every time

yes I've thought it too
you know, pull yourself together
it's like paranoia or something
but if you're in blinkers
it gets you every time
it always makes the weak man cry

friends hate to hear me talk
they always like to be shouting
I go home full and yet upset
I'm torn every time

12 YEARS

You are still quite young
You have been in love
Tasted several fashions
Tried on cigarettes
Burned through booze, exotic cuisines
Seen the light, met the wife

Well I've been locked away
And changed around
12 years out my life
Because the lodger raped me
Two thefts in one
Seen lots, seen nothing
Seen the forces at work and play
People left naked
Ins and outs of no hope homes ins
I've been locked away against my will
12 years out my life
Because love escaped me
Denied the right of friends or cash
Lived with people who talked loud
Or took time to wash or dress
Fed electric for standing up

I've been kept inside against my will
12 years out my life
Because the lodger raped me
Two thefts in one
Seen lots, seen nothing
Seen the forces at work and play
People force fed
Fed electric for standing up

THE HEDONISTS SIGH

Thirty loaves for an hour in studio
forty pints for a five piece band
but I'm hungry today and I'm thirsty today

For a one groove record paying out useless tokens
the control of booze, bah, the pub it ain't open
the petty cash problems and my mouth is dry
I've had enough already

Be all and end all addiction
do you ever stop to think?
it's a broken home on a one night stand
you're just as strong as your weakest link

Wild man of Borneo impersonator
the predictable mess of the part time swingers
they taste the air, yeah, it tastes like dirt
the tragic lives
string up my guitar with cheese wire
realization sets in a bit too late
a bloody mistake, but a bit too late
sprees of weak sanity
do you ever stop to think?
it's a broken heart on a one night stand
you're just as strong as your weakest link

so good bye trust, without you I will die
goodbye love, I'll try my best to cry
goodbye luck, the hedonists they sigh
goodbye looks, Adonis goodbye

what was that he said? it'll never be the same
bye bye to love he said, it'll never be the same

IT LIVES AGAIN!

in the upstairs flat live the decadents
there 'til the end, they pay their rent
the flat's turned over, an insurance heist
heartbreaking all the same, they're as quiet as mice

so in walk policemen, hand in hand,
a property problem, we understand
and in from the local file medical care
'you're all washed up, but we're always there'

and the people watch in anticipation
as a high-heel boot steps on a worm
members only - this may offend
so light the fire and watch it burn
you'll see nothing, you see nothing

well, back to the action, things are getting hot
the reasons are lukewarm, the gestures awfully worn
things get better but are safer stood still
there is no harm in trying, crying can't kill
so, give nothing, just do your best
risk nothing, there is no test
give nothing, just do your best
pay nothing, it's on the NHS
well, who wants freedom?
who wants back home to mum
you lost your medical card, you want to smoke in bed
take me out to the desert, the sand will show me how to boil an egg
the repetition, like ABCD
priorities right, that's me and me
the world's alight, second degree burns
and I feel sick, god, I'll never learn
well, those professions have passed me by
it's better than working, have more time to myself
god bless our overseers, yeah, the pope extends his hand of care
the leather tat, ambiguity,
I've got the dress cover on mercury
I flirt with things reactionary
oh, soup in a basket, yum, yes please
I don't like height, it's too near the sun
I might get a tan, summer's here again
it lives again, it lives again
it lives again or never went

MAKE GOOD

The price marked up is just a test
your valuation be the best
do barter to beat the price
if it sounds ok the price be nice
your friends can tape it and save their cash
material wealth will take a smash
send it back to the record company
'this item is no longer of use to me'
the address is on the record sleeve
they print their logo so boldly
so take the money from their mouths
a bit of spit, a lot of row
there's no price to pay
you be the one to say
make em give it away
there's nothing I can say

DON'T BLINK

Don't blink until you want to
run the risk of missing something
take the choice upon yourself
be firm but fair with your eyelids
your eyes whisper I sound fascist
some people would kill me for that
Am I so concerned about myself
they want to crucify me for it

Don't blink superiority
don't spill that load of knowledge
bob your tongue out undercover
those itchy fingers straight from college
my belly pinch, try to intimidate me
I will not flinch
I just do not feel guilty

Don't blink unless I want to
I like two sugars in my tea
That's a choice I make myself
don't want your feeble remedy
now, when I was a kid and fell off of my bike
no mothers slap dictates
the taste in tea that I like

Don't blink in front of your heap
they might think you're falling asleep
and dreaming of hot cucumbers
forgetting the safety in the numbers
I'm encourageable and some people would have me for it
It'd make them feel better
to create the room in which to do it

THE HEADACHE COLLECTOR

unhip inequality, I live in the last bastion
I've got tight stranglehold on migraine distribution

I could live with the pressure
but I can't take the strain
I have a little problem with leisure
it plays upon my brain

mister man, mister mystery
mister buyer and seller
I take my place in history
as the headache collector
please share with me all your problems
I've too little of my own
help me please to hit rock bottom
I can't make it on my own

unhip inequality, I live the worlds last bastion
I get a tight, tight stranglehold on migraine distribution
my entertainment is a book of contradictions
if you want to take up headache collecting
then here is my prescription
try at first for no great shakes
in the end you'll find direction
selfishness makes ace headaches
as I said you'll find direction

DOWN IN THE DUMPS

the time had arrived when
all but a few left wing councils
modernised their towns and villages
with American names but Victorian rules
Scotland for example was Mexico
the festering capital was called New London
and those from the north
wanted to work hard for pay
for a harmless standard of living
decide through tradition their attitude
but I think we'll forget that one
forget that one and go down south now

born and bred in platesville
a wealthy suburb in the other lands
found down the drag from middle
they could not mistreat the cows quick enough
the demand for milk was tremendous
in a two kids each home situation
the fatter the kids the better
but boy, those workers are gonna need to graft
twenty four hours a day
to make enough sweets and biscuits for our kids
but several blocks away
the brats were grouping up for yuletide
no it isn't that they did not like tangerines
or feel ungrateful towards their families
but this year they were heard to say
"lets have an airgun between the lot of us"

with my that'll do nicely student card
I slummed it second class to el compromiso
to get to know all aspects of this country
I decided to travel around
maybe I'll even drink from the can
and when I take a piss I might not even wash my hands
father was a ditherer
but he was plastered, plastered with cash
and mommy says I'm beautiful
and no I never did anything wrong
education in home mouth put those words into my mouth
so I hit town so smug
born and bred in Platesville
looking to make some friends
I headed on south to el compromiso

Well, I know all about wildlife
I've been surrounded by pets all my youth
and my faithful Christmas pony is still safe

those kids with sweet sticky fingers failed
couldn't get to grips with sharing
it's a shame but I can dig it, I suppose
but life is what you make of it
give or take a train driver
and the eyebrows raised
by my friends at my tales
but these episodes have brought me
neither joy or benefit, now

LEAVE IT OUT

I could make you feel bad but what is the point?
I'm here to make you happy, to love the sound of your voice
I could remind you of the past
Of those days, get your bags and get out
But its now and there's no struggle
So don't milk that doubt
Leave it out

You could make me feel happy if you points to score
Or choose to be reasonable, no 'Play For Today' stuff no more
There's no need to act the strange one
That is just a cop out
But it's now or never with effort
So don't milk that doubt
Leave it out

The hard choice in the supermarket
Between Eeal Lemon and Jif
The sentences that we're liking to hear
That end with the word but or the word if
We could talk about past
Of those days, get your bags and get out
But it's now and there's no struggle
So don't milk that doubt
Leave it out

COMFORT AND JOY*
OK then intro‹we'll pick it up
in the alehouse, they're doing afters
whole lotta chatting going on
there's little thirst but less going home
background‹tangled lives set to music
and pop whose function was never more fitting
paid for by those with no-one to talk to
or more likely the joy of lifers
at the top and stuck for a next move
our man is one such lifer
it's only once so take your time
in the past he'd spent some time in prison
a subject that had recently risen
'twas going down well-disturbing and hilarious
the man embraced for drinking sour milk
then all the more when he mentions his divorce
First up the "you're better off" stuff
Then the gaggle of bloated advisors
Disguised in drink and drunk on family life
Talk of hostility towards others
Love and change, heartaches and courage
Depressions and dreams
In a basic and colorful language
Row about we're all in the same boat
It is random, it's ironic
These companions working on friendship
Hearts in the right place, between the head and the feet
His mind runs away with itself
Other people's voice, empty glasses
He's off into the cold light of day
This gives a vague idea of what he has to go through
Down to earth, day by day background
Optimistic
About drama, let the story unfold
One thing's for sure, you'll soon get the picture
Just a minute to get down the road
Saturated by booze, sexually frustrated
A reality he's manufactured
This being his kind of man
Oh god and America, the voice of the tempter
Says "I think you have an obligation
To look sort of what you're supposed to look like."
Culture grid springs into action
Association and experience
Diapause (?) and fantastic fantasies
Better the desert that's familiar
Than the plot that you don't know
No content makes for lots of room
Our man at home could appreciate such space
Double time and no contentment
Psychic drive meets law and order
It's about time to get fed up
He rubs the corners off his appetite
Purity versus ambition
"Horrid thoughts‹you have to laugh"
Is the latest thought our man's had
Learning seems at odds with relaxation
Common sense and evergreen bread
However abstract go for affection
Recognize the rules and grease the palm
Perception and expression, love, life and law
It's a watered down thirst for knowledge
Up to date, no news is good news
Baby boom/sugar culture‹I'm in the denture business
I said 'crops," I said 'cash" and I'm smiling‹
Things that are useful encourage support
Who needs the piss poor poets pain of love?
Another's heartbeat banging on the free spirits drum
Integrate or isolate
Change contends with happiness
Full of beans and fit to drop
Puffing and blowing
Up the wooden hills to bed
Inevitable anti-climax
Our man is not a riveter
He was one but changed his mind
We could all use a little luxury
Speed and range, comfort and joy
Cue nostalgia‹behold a baby boy‹
The good lord smiled the dya
The nurse told his ma to get back to eating for one
Born to a household with all the top items
Water, heat and food and so life goes on

COINCIDENCE

Knock coincidence out of a/the window
Cracking godsend groovy chat
Page the heavens for a lovers fleshy heart
Caveman institution rules ok
The late and greatest party on the move
Big names, cold hands, gimme
That carpet surely needs a clean
Kick coincidence into the standard head
And oh god, cold god, craving faceless friends
Sincerely, oh god, yeah, sincerely yours
Brick in all of that which constitutes a thought
Unless its a stolen one
The pot that always seems to call the kettle black
This one, it will run and run
Print a hundred or so magazines
Schoolboy, strange kid
Shit he surely knows about the groups
Kick coincidence into the sexists mouth
And oh gob, old jokes, leering
Mindless mates humourously go choke
Yeah you really are a card
Hey let's poke the waiters patience in the chest
Yeah let's all enjoy ourselves
Casually insult the girl whose drink you bought
Caveman money sense walks on water
Backdated and racist ideas on the move
Big pain, no brain, give up
That thinking needs a sudden death
Kick co-existence into the standard head
And oh god where's the whiff of magic
That contains completely nothing in the way of power

I SPIT IN YOUR GRAVY

After a video session and a laugh and a joke
I'm ready for shut eye proclaims the host to his mate
A dopey paranoia, remembering maybe
The opening scene from 'I Spit In Your Gravy', and its late
With visions of violence all the way home
The morning streets announce he's all alone, swaying round
And the front door approaches and there's tea, if not milk
It's like the closing sequence of 'As Smooth As Silk'
He sits down
Shaking hands with memories of double vision
The last draw and a read before breakfast television
It's at that stage
Signing at nine so may as well stay up
A new book (?) with tea in the cup, turn the page
Of a slim volume of horror stories titled 'Cooking For Cretins'
Featuring ghoulish recipes with few stories thrown
Tales like 'Crumbs', which turns out to be his favorite story
With la la la lunacy in the bakery
And the aforementioned 'I Spit In Your Gravy'
Boy it's dumb and it's almost unspeakably gory

If you are able to sit on the saddle comfortably
With the ball of one foot on the ground
And please sir if you're gonna treat us like infants
We're probably gonna behave like those nippers and shake it on down
The fortune it was just one of the aims
And to be a winner in those power games
(?) and his other personal (?)
The strangeness that is all part of the show
The appalling footage in the pop video, it's the pits
But relax and let's do the new dance

Visions of violence all the way home
The morning streets announce he's all alone
Swaying round, all the time, swaying round
And the front door approaches and there's tea, if not milk
It's like the closing sequence from 'As Smooth As Silk'
He sits down, feeling great, not too late
He sits down


SQUARE CIRCLE

the unimaginative see pinstripes
but the shorts are just plain navy blue
in them the polite liar cuts a dash
the opposition now comes into view
the easily pleased see embroidery
in the shape of the letter i
on the bullshitters red trunks
it could be anybody's fight
who would care?
who would care to guess?
what on earth will happen next?
the house is full up to the brim
could be they've let too many in
what support the polite liar has
jeers at the gloveless bullshitter
looks in the mirror and cracks it
his fans think that is fantastic
'its easy enough for them to get by'
is captured in the polite liars smile
ah, there will be no fight, nor any refunds
the square circle, mans relaxation

the fib fans save up for golden robes
as worn by these top liars
with names on the back, loaded furry dice
the ref announces he'll retire
but picks up his cheque on his way home
the unscarred fighters hit the bar
a square circle and a pint of foam
the high life of the sporting stars

PART-TIME MORAL ENGLAND

Hello and welcome to Birmingham
It's the Big Heart Of England
We are multiracial but two-faced
Here in part time moral land
If there are a lot of catholic votes around
They go anti-abortion
And claim their taxi fares to go and eye the prostitution
He said "It's incredible" - what the lowness of the price?
They are parallel with the pimp scene
Ooh the thought of his wife
So consider your vigilante force blessed by your local big wage earner
"And give yourself the right", he said, "to modify behavior"
Regional immigration of this type is not wanted
On a basic level it makes the streets look messy
And, strange but true,
The smug righteous crowd have reasons for complaining
Some local women, with kids with futures, yeah, they find it paining
Men of tender conscience, when it suits them
Say, if it's local, these women are an eyesore
Oh, these streets, the barter of relief
The young 'uns need a break, they wanna get away from it all
On an 18-30 holiday - designed for the pick up
Are you too old, too bent or too broke?
It's great, after the first few hundred quid you don't have to pay a penny
(?) idea of hard work
Are you solving the problems of someone who treats you like dirt?
Kiss the enemy
Well, Hello and welcome to Birmingham
It's the Big Heart Of England
We are multiracial but two-faced, here in part time moral land


NO CAN DO

curse the day that I was born
I'm a band aid on an open wound
funny how six months ago seems like a year back
and those
yesterday is a crock of cack
the previous five minutes
brilliant
I am with kids in tow
talk in holy retrospect
evil little memory
I'm to the government
and made myself an enemy
and then the news on the radio
had a lot to say
tried to poke me off the fence
which I thought I would paint grey
but no
I get worked up but no can do
I wouldn't want to run the risk
different skin
give me credit for nonsense
my contrived and caring words
if
military
if you want to work with milk
I hope you get a job in a dairy
if you want to be clever with words
buy a rhyming dictionary
if you want to
sing like a canary
rewrite
well that's what I'm saying now
and there is no pain
got to wash my mouth out
but here is my heart saying
I can't play piano
and I don't know any gags
russia
fags
I got so much duty free
I can hardly shut my bags
oh my god is that the time?
summers here
and the competition's high

CAKEHOLE

God can it be true I know that face?
The cigs it gave one for later just in case
The morale in the team the piss we took
We broke that bastards back,
But, he laughed and we shook when he said,
"Care not for my life
Your petty principals are the all important lot
Find employment for yourself in messages
But watch your head you'll laugh it off"

In the pub some talked with glee of his end
"All those fags he gave for naught,
He was round the bend.
And those final words on which he choked,
We will have the last laugh at that joke,
Yes F to good and bad, just give us perfumes
to block our biased stench,
His words came out of his bleedin' arsehole"
(Cough), "If you'll excuse my French"

A bad day for the news hence his spread
Its got to be bad to report the dead
Twas his smile that caught me though he'd put on weight
I think I'll dream of him tonight at heavens gate,
Saying, "I see it as merely inevitable
That I've reached the final stop
The bus of life ran out of fuel
I lost my head, I laughed it off".

BIG PRINT (EXISTENCE/BLACK AND WHITE)

I'm told the world is round, that I don't need to see it for myself
I missed my 'O' levels because I could not will myself
To keep one eye focused on big print
Couldn't get ambitious about graft
So as time ticks over I begin to try and educate myself
I know what's on the cards so let's start to worry about health
Buy the book of medicinal big print
Take direction from the old big print

I'm told that modern culture is digging a grave for itself
By a group who look as though they have risen from that grave themselves
Punching paper printed with big print
Nice pale paper with motifs in big print
But give me black and white

I got the slightest feeling that I might not be exploiting myself
I might not do much good but then again I'm not beside myself
And I'll be hanged if I'll join in the chorus
How can so few words create such fuss?

So getting nowhere quick but that's the present state of information
I'm told it's getting better by a gaggle getting in formation
To wax lyrical, but prissy, in big print
But start at the beginning of big print
Existence.
Black and white.

THIS*
How is this found? IS the question asked
But there's no right royal reply
Is there no time to be relaxed?
Is it just yer old pie in the sky?
Captives of the think are caught
Believing others are void of thought
The most modern captives of them all
Remold concern dissecting all
This cannot just be

Of course there is no equal base
There's always right royal replies
The angel concept is out of place
The lazy day crawls up and dies
There's so much work and unto who?
A proffered peaceful death in lieu?
A worried mind a martyr makes
Fear of harrowing give and take
This is too easy

(But the shop's too far and the giro's late
and the spare time is boring
the shops too far and the giros late
and the postman's a bastard
give him a uniform
the two channels clash and the videos bust.
the services are dire, they're too interested elsewhere
Oh, those others spoil this.)

Ooh, knowledge and sunshine and others' opinions
An itch in the conscience or soul
Drab statements in a dull dominion
Something to fill in a hole
Well, day to day is alright for some
Those looked at with eyes, some dumb
Say "getting by is a piece of piss"
It can't be much harder than this
This makes idle promises

(It must be anal or phallic, some sad satisfaction
Do me a favour, give him a surprise
To be grateful a push is required
But pity be a non starter, get to grips and fuck this
Spoil this)

THE HAPPY MEDIUM

For a first option I don't think you grumble
I mean, I can't knock it
The happy medium
Got geeks who'll clap it
And creeps who'll wrap it in their own photographs
The happy medium
A future of disappointments
But it all went to plan
He be a very reasonable man
The happy medium
But the reasonable bloke has become a big joke
In the elitist bars where the stars are
The happy medium
But for a first option you can't complain
Don't be a whiner, turn it in guv'nor
The happy medium

HARK MY LOVE/LOWER THAN EVER

Hark my love, they're playing that tune
They're wearing our clothes, whispering our secrets
A man and his woman, cutting closer to the bone
Believing is the mistake, leads to head and not heartaches
Halve my whole, it's a lifetime of trials
We are in this together, stooping lower than ever

Some moments of beauty, ones of trivial strength
With some memorable climbing, with no effort declining
Halve my whole, it's a lifetime of trials
We are in this together, stooping lower than ever

Household frights are made together (?)
Going at it hell for leather (?)

NOTHING BUT TROUBLE

two ordinary, not remarkably humble,
talk in words of not long left
of televisions finger on life's wrist
responding to a whining pulse
an accepted realism, resigned to entertainment
and fair enough they'll say
the enviable task of hosting a beauty contest
remembering a history

so what's the struggle?
what's there to remember?
what can you build on?
heaped plates of worry
it's a bellyache problem for the men of the world
interpersonal bickering learned down on the ranch
look raw and find an enemy

these two hard boys, they make good actors
but struggle with crap scripts
shit theatre meets the video nasties
andy pandy golliwog minds
banana brain, one of the bunch
normal and not remarkably nice
projected heavy handed and empty headed
mouthing told ideas

oh, shit drama, the pub politicians
monday morning footballers
these two cowboys, nothing but trouble
finicky about their food
hard done by, garlic ought to be shot
shoot out and find a target
hard done by, garlic ought to be shot
belief in the articulate

fascist idiots bred from security
secure education
fascist idiots, bred for security
choice cuts from history
like the lunatic with admirable guts
and the enviable task
designing pretty dresses, deciding tone of flesh
he's a bit of a rough arse
the same two cowboys with no jobs to go to
join the police force
"you wanna know where Broad Street is?
well, what for at this time?"
oh god only knows the installation of this ignorance
the soap shy jokes jokes
oh god only knows the reasoning of this ignorance
nothing but trouble

imperialist cowboys
ordinary and remarkably unhealthy
shout in given accents
bigoted claptrap, Radio One speak
of smells and uses and hair color
and sporting miracles
all the cause for the cowboys
to think twice in one day
minds occupied by

ON THE JOB/THE BENDING END

don't start that lying down blocking my way
I understand the dream of safety
have common sense as regards the future
that of rearing children, et cetera
but in this fib of peace time,
"to be ok pal, protest and survive"
patronize time, entertain the mind
with video games, but there's your reason
a progression, the one step too many
so come the day all nations agree
to get Paul Daniels on the job
worldwide disarmament is a meanwhile relief
reconstruction no problem, we have the technology

don't begin to call me paranoid
I'm smiling now at a speck on the horizon
have common sense as regards interaction
and of course I love my mother
but in this fib of peace time
with a told need to protect and survive
that in itself says we've come too far
we're careless of consequence and of others feelings
just rocking and a reeling, can't sit still
but come the day all people agree
to get Paul Daniels on the job
belief in the magician is a futility
remarkable powers are out of place in democracy

reminds me of the TV weatherman
a household face with a forgettable name
he had access to film and camera
he could have a perverse nature
it said so in the stars the day he read 'em
this could be why he has no inclination
to use the medium he has access to
or maybe it's his lack of imagination
who's to say? who cares anyway?
whatever the reason he never worries
about the choice, he don't even consider it
tomorrow could be colder or warmer
so what's the point in complicating things further?

ok I admit it, now get out of my way
I'll hold your hand and I'll dream of safety
stop telling truths if they're not pleasing
and join the queue to get on the telly
shouting slow change from the inside
deny that terrorism's terifying
patronize time with a prolonged life
talk of not wanting monsters destroying our planet
I mean, we've come this far damnit
so come the day all monsters agree
to get paul daniels on the job
get him disappearing technology
and chants of get back to the trees
come the day all people agree
to get paul daniels on the job
belief in the magician is a futility
remarkable powers are out of place in democracy

INSURANCE

for the sake of argument, we'll call him bob
he's all tied up in getting on
tossing and turning about what to put in
and what it's all worth to replace

bob thinks there's nothing, nothing clever
in being clever nor being stupid
just get on course for a future that's lucrative

the secret of youth is disinformation
secure something that'll take its place
bob says "who'll love the old man who grumbles?
who'd throw away stuff that'd make perfect jumble?"
he has mixed feelings about charity
he'd like to buy his own home

the trouble starts with arrangement
and where on earth to put it
the problem continues with how to get hold of things

bob reckons that a thing of value,
it should never be mistreated
he doesn't go for property is theft
dunno if he leans to the left
he has a limp, an industrial accident;
the boss didn't look too concerned

he landed on his feet, met a nice bloke
an older chap who claimed to know about life
but bob, it seemed, could not convince his pal
that a future would prevail
it seems it was ok as it stood
but how far would his friend be prepared to go
apparently these days trust is very hard to muster

worried sick, he takes time off his new job
to have a think about what's in store
he changes somewhat in character
(but not as much as he thinks himself)
bob goes along to see his doctor
says, "give me something that will make me sweat"
so the doctor signed him off
bob starts to worry about death

this in turn it leads to worse things
like defacement and robbery
bob thinks more and more about his friend
he feels he needs more security
"at the end of the day brian,
we're just not being positive.
at the end of the day brian,
what reward can I expect?"


you might never need anything
but you may as well be safe
most words are there in the dictionary,
it's just getting it off the shelf
oh, what a hassle, what a hassle
this was only ever embarked on
with a promise of a payoff, if and when,
but bob wins some and he loses some.

THE WHYS OF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

the whys of acknowledgement
acclaim but what is the point?
pay the rent and look for friends
a just means unto an end
acclaim for making people happy
an alligator sandwich and make it snappy
and popularity it comes easily
popularity it comes easily
there's a ready-made market for what you can do
ripe home made pie for what you can do
see the affluent part-timers
they're building moats around the gang-children's castle
never contented at giving up stuff
but, potential it ends easily
yeah, potential, it blends easily

there's a ready-made market for home improvements
a clean home made by rearranging
the newspapers, or whatever, turn the page, a choice selection,
create impressions, look for friends, just a means to an end
a class problem of projection, the political problem of rejection

the luxury of it all, never having to explain things
very old definitions of clever greets the new outrage
the spidercrushers make number one
a good chance to save
and the people are in no way surprised
basking in the belly of good times

the whys of acknowledgement
special? well, there's a sore point
acclaim for making people happy breaks the pin that holds the nappy pop
popularity give it me, simple as abc
no pretense of a right or wrong
just get 'em to sing along

PONCES ALL

too precious to stay on top, keep a mental scrapbook
but the favours owed are mounting to those who beared to look

those brainwaves we have had, talk about coincidence
stake a claim in the game, meaning the business

just take people's friendship, take their hospitality
taking it all for granted, take the generosity
be part of their family, ponces all are we
we are all family, pompous all are we

give out addresses, know of any parties?
flash flash flash your wallet, won't have very far to go

grab for anything that's free, hang around, you'll never know
those hours of utter compromise could be leading to a go
with all the family, ponces all are we
one big happy family, ponces all are we

of spoilt background, someone always will provide
a dropout intellect, that arrogance has made you blind
we are all family, ponces all are we
we are all family, poseurs all are we

and hey loners, everybody do the disco stomp
hey loner, do you see anything you want?
we are all family, postulants all are we
we are all family, ponces all are we

NOWHERE TO RETURN

heartfelt cries in chains
the family deals
they build on old ground
best for you i.e. best for they
after all this to leave now?
the pressure of saying goodbye
to single figure logic and rot
righteous groupings
my family - forget me not

I feel constant gain
nowhere to return
a wonderful sense of loss
nowhere to return

- don't say things like that about my mum -
no, don't build religion around us all
be naughty children, break down walls
have nowhere to return

heartfelt cries
the family deals they'll build
they'll build on old ground
best for you
they mean best for them
after all this to leave now?
the pressures of saying goodbye
to single figure logic and rot
righteous groupings
my family - forget me not
I need room to move
nowhere to return
something resembling choice
nowhere to return

BACHELOR LAND

I couldn't say it was just men, generalizations are wanton
Though there is maybe something about the dark of night
Still generalizations are wanton in bachelor land
Can openers and launderettes, but generalizations are wanton
Those I was drunk following days, well generalizations are wanton
In bachelor land
I wouldn't say all marvelous things are futuristic or in the past
I've seen stunts done with the body,
I've heard jokes that have made me laugh
In my bachelor pad in bachelor land
But even martial arts masters must have some washing to do
And someone to do it for them
Guess there's no point in feeling blue in bachelor land
I reckon there's a safety clause
A stereotype to take it from
The dos and donts and excuses and a crude claim on freedom
That's bachelor land

CRAFTY FAG

he wasn't much of a fighter, so he wore a big hat
but he weren't too careful with what he'd say
he was a crazy man, he was a crafty fag
tomorrow is another day
to a crazy wag and he's a crafty fag

says "what you don't take sugar?
well, I've put some in already
but I feel sure it'll be alright,
I'm a cheeky chap, I'm a lazy lag
it'll be alright, right on the night
it's a loopy gag and I'm a crafty fag"

brrr fat cat, that best for me cats away stuff
brrr fat cat believes therefore that's what they're there for

embarrassing lack of perception
but honest gob and dirty hands
the scow that swept the nation
with honesty desires and dirty hands
well print still sticks after all the years
it's a crafty gag breeding crafty fags
unwritten camaraderie, that male camaraderie, unwritten camaraderie
comes over anti-fag, but he's a crafty fag
dodgy good bloke system elevated to great height
podgy good bloke syndrome elevated to great height
well he sets his sights very low
hes a crazy fag, he's a crafty fag
stud mouth walks the privileged street
big mouth walks the privileged street
he's a crafty fag, comes over anti-fag
and best mates make good publicists
he's a crazy man but he's a crafty fag
his cunning contents very low
behind the bikeshed fag, he's a little lad

FAMILY

Too pressed to stay on top, keep a mental scrapbook. But the favor sold are
mounting to those who bear to look. Those brainwaves we have had; talk
about coincidence. Stake a claim in the game, meaning up is it. Just take
people's friendship and take their hospitality, taking it all for granted,
take the generosity. Be part of their family, ponces all are we. We are
all family, pompous all are. Give out addresses, know of any parties?
Flash flash flash your wallet, won't have very far to go. Crap for anything
that's free, hang around, you'll never know. Those owls have had a
compromise, could be leading to a go. With all the family, ponces all are
we, one big happy family, ponces all are we. Up spoiled background, someone
always will provide, a dropout intellect, that arrogance has made you blind.
We are all family, ponces/posers all are we. And hail all this, everybody
do the disco stop, hail, do you see anything you want? We are all family,
postulates all are we, ponces all are we

THE CRUNCH

As long as money talks you can't buy the truth
As long as money speaks you won't hear the truth
In the first case, I am assuming corruption
I know you cannot work out a fair price
And, second, those upholding chatty coinage
Must have motives kept disguised and that's not truth
Truth is plural

Pleasure is an inspirational act
They pit pleasure against the conscience
To determine what pleasure shall entail
They take one man's word and turn it against him
So people will require distress in comfort
Pleasure is pleasing to accept, distress needs learning
And the idea of education,
When devised with this in mind,
Makes the untold easier to swallow
And the idea of tradition, when devised with this in mind,
Makes their taught laws easier to follow
So surround the pupils with your folklore
This requires no groundwork by the students
Injections of learning supports the fascist mysticism
Which balances the principle of pleasure with one of achievement
This achievement can be faded out in the long term
To leave them helplessly in place
And wanting money, needing exchange
So is money the sole downpressor of truth?
We can watch cash's effect but downstairs live the causes
The causes are true realism, but this is a problem
Money can mask the causes, which in turn could kill cash
So, we try to make a pleasurable living
Masks above death before birth
Back to square one.

ALL TALK

Grab your partner for a chat, no one can argue with that
Lie together, be a party force
Words of future, situation divorced
How things could be in a stammer
Is there life after the cough?
Smash a sickle with your hammer
Talk a donkey's hind leg off

Well, love the animals except when
They're not your type and ditch 'em again
Get poetical 'bout daydreams
Verbal comes in streams and streams
So why not fool someone you can?
Don't do, just rap about your plan
Bloody effort is such a headache
Gain pleasure from donating earache
Management, on worker relations, say
"Thanks for your co-op in getting laid off"
Top bands to start up radio stations
Promo gab to get the kids in the shop
And singing "Mirror, mirror on the toilet wall,
Who's the fairest of them all?"
Those most eloquent with words
Most dexterous with adjectives and verbs
Well, it's all talk
But that goes without saying

LOOK SATISFIED

Have you ever wanted to heave a brick through your TV screen?
Now you can vent your rage that safe and silent Telly Brick way
Just chuck your Telly Brick at your TV, you'll feel better right away
It's made of British air bubbles in supersoft foam lovingly encased
2.95 the lighter but about to receive a hearty laugh
An ornament with a sense of humour, a relief that mocks you back
Willpower reversed. As a cup, empty of yourself and yet full up
A typical bourgeois bargain guaranteed not to affect reception
Frying pan fire, nose spite face, smart wallet, the loot option
Telly Brick is pretty static
Buy one today, chuck one tonight
Those attempts to scare with headlines
coupled with a quiz to gain a Mini Metro,
safe and silent rules to encourage caring seatbelts, soft logic,
a bourgeois balance where everything's great
Holiday camp country - it's all free
Learn from hardship, fun on a plate, save in the long term with a large
initial fee
But you've got to be a prat to waste your time and cash
on an object that takes the piss out of your hopelessness

NOT MAN ENOUGH

Serious hard knock, he takes himself serious
Serious image, worried he's not man enough
Sensitive; goes out as the all-purpose bloke
Scared hard knock, he takes himself v. serious
A comedy chap when the gang's all here;
expressions fresh from cinema screens
"First I'll have a beer and then I'll have a beer"
Big on the all mouth and trousers scene
Hard trousers, none of your dubious keks
Serious face, he takes his clothes serious
Testy physically, its hard to keep up
Tip top, Grade A, A1, tip top tip top tip top, ship shape
Alone on the deck stood the feeble man
Scared face - do as I do and like frown as I do when I'm weak
Scared hard knock, worried he's not man enough
Catered for - the gratuitous tit on the TV screen
Big on the all cock and bull routine and serious hard rock,
A music that's so well defined
Serious chap, not what you'd call not man enough
Not man enough

FIRST MY JOB

the radio lets loose with the news
reporters busy themselves
and this side of the curtain the burning ear
would not miss a word
stood to the side of reasonable
in the style of some middle class hero
party goers could be shot
out of date pass holders held
grasses cut and caressed
for pleasure or profit
one thing or another

oh, to be the star of something
something temporarily topical
it could be paid propaganda
or provocation, you know,
that 'see you in court, comrade'
'I want my kitten and a locked door'
doing a good impression of a neighbour
selling out next door

the television lets loose with the news
quasi celebrities busy themselves
and this side of the camera
the ever watchful eye
wouldn't miss a move
as part of the majority
on a wage creation scheme
with a tasty uniform
and a hammer for nailing
pictures of memorable moments on the wall
hum 'first my job' and break in to song

LET'S SURF

gear gone packed and I'm on my way
won't be back for a week and a day
I don't care what nobody says
give me sun
my wallet got stretched and that's ok
I'll get it thinned out in a couple of days
fool about my money, honey, which I've saved
I want fun
I fancy a laugh and a bit of a break
and this is the week that they told me to take
I can't complain, it'll do me ace
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
a boastin' day, it was a bit of a belter
really the ticket and I started to swelter
the sun was so hot I thought it would melt her
lets surf

got no time to look on the cynical side
an excitable nature I don't wanna hide
in fact, I think I'll go looking for a ride
gee up, gee up
how's about a little less of the overcoat
off the pier with it and see if it floats
crikey, I must spend some of these notes
and why not?
got to get some chat for when I get home
mr. confectioner give me Toblerone
I spy a person sitting on their own
well, that's cool
I live to drink for another day
glad you're not here and I wish I could stay
now, that's not a very nice thing to say
lets surf

water to my left, water to my right
there's no doubt about it I feel alright
better make the best of this last night
woooooh
gear gone packed and I'm on my way
won't be back before a fine eight days
enjoyed myself so much I might have a brace
next year, next year
put on my shoes and I do up my laces
I've had my share of exotic places
now I'm here to say to familiar faces
lets surf

DARWIN'S WAITING ROOM*
Was born with a smile on my face, never meant to sweat
Bad luck, the wrong time and wrong place, to hell with intellect
The creatures in Darwin's waiting room
Rise up and begin romancing
Reach past the prophecies of doom
Wise up, cut their hair and start dancing

The cross bred academics have got it wrong again
Concern and feather bed polemics on song again
Yeah, merry were the times, they fooled around with rhymes
"I gotta brand new friend"
But buried in the mind, no point in being kind
There's a long way to the end
The creatures in Darwin's waiting room
Rise up and begin romancing
Reach past the prophecies of doom
Wise up, cut their hair and start dancing

The future was insulted and so it turned to wine
Enough's enough and the scum revolted, they're calling time
Shares on sale in companies that are fit to burn
Lets have a little fun on the journey to square one
We've got a lot to learn
The creatures in Darwin's waiting room
Rise up and begin romancing
Reach past the prophecies of doom
Wise up, cut their hair and start dancing
The creatures in Darwin's waiting room
Rise up and begin romancing
Reach past the prophecies of doom
Wise up, cut their hair and start dancing

HAPPY EVER AFTER*
And as the night came down and fell onto the ground
It paused to make a sound especially for you
Just as I stopped myself from reaching off the shelf
A tonic for my health, I fell in love with you
And happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I wanted it for you

All gossip column fare, the lowest scum was there
A dull and boring pair, well I blame it all on you
A diamond is forever, a friend will leave you never
If I was half that clever I'd still be there with you
And happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I got it all from you

The drugs and waste exploded, got sick upon the roses
Observers held their noses in reverence to you
The cack, the path I trod, treated you like a God
And once I'd got the nod I fucked it up with you
Well happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I wanted it for you

But there before I's fate, I would have missed the date
Discretion breeds with hate when I'm in bed with you
I almost blew my lid, came close to getting rid
Ah, what I nearly did, yeah it all comes back to you
And that happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I blame it all on you

I did the deaths door dance and went into a trance
Your blinding arrogance, as though I would die for you
Forget all I've been saying, the praise that kept you staying
Is just a nasty stain on my memory of you
And when you got your rocks off, threatened to knock my block off
I almost laughed my cock off but I kept it on for you
And that happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I did it all for you

And as the tale subsides, goes moldy on all sides
There's a bottle on the tide that's got a note in it for you
And if you'd care to read, I dare say you would see
A truly heartfelt plea that I could be with you
And live happy ever after, moving the earth and laughter
All that did ever matter, I'll do it all for you

MR. SUPERIOR

oh pretty little island go to sleep
don't ever get disturbed by me
but do watch your sour and think on your feet
and take time to remember
that moral fear and paranoia
will lose your ticket in the foyer
oh mr superior the angels are gonna break your harp
and curse you out of here
you'll wish you never took the part, oh oh

oh pretty little thug who never was
really smart but was quite dull
well calm your little mind, don't sweat because
you're next to the cows talking bull
so watch yourself and mind that froth
and take your big fat righteous eye out
you've both been cut from the same cloth
so all the time remember, oh oh
mr. superior the angels are gonna break your harp
and curse you out of here
you'll wish you never took the part
that old con trick about the halo
don't pass or collect, go to jail, oh
mr. superior the angels are gonna break your heart

oh pert-nippled devil with the dracula teeth
don't let the climate bleed ya
oh head of a body with a soul underneath
don't let your hair recede ya
just take that plank from out your eye
let the under furnished judge retire
oh mr. superior the angels are gonna break your heart
and curse you out of here
you'll wish you never took the part
so stop that finger and catch yourself
there's not much doing on the shelf
oh mr. superior the angels are gonna break your harp

THE PART OF THE ANCHOR

don't ever try to pass off as truth
the story that you're telling
you're so concerned with all things youth
I don't think you understand the respect I am feeling
for these people you see as fashion accessories
you should be working in a straight inside job
for the guy who owns the copyright
or some other bloke that he knows
because the power and the glamour are the roles that you can dig
but you will always pass on work 'cos you're a wanker
and on life's stage the state of play is decided by the man
and the woman plays the part of the anchor
so who are you calling obscure?
clucking with your mates
god you're dead ringers for each other
is that the understandable as you see it?
with heroes and villians, geniui and legends
you should be writing for the college magazine
'cos it's a bowl so small that you'll look good
albeit a little squiffed out on the beer
so sing for joy the mummy's boy who was happy to take the love
but not so fussed that he could stop to thank her
all that child and all that labour and complaining by the neighbours
splinters from the part of the anchor

don't ever try to pass off as truth the story that you're telling
you're so concerned with all things youth
I don't think you understand the respect I'm feeling
for these people you see as fashion accessories
you should be working in a straight inside job
for the guy who owns the copyright
you wanna make it up another floor
"so don't die of ignorance because your fancy does you good"
said the blind date that he plumped for in sri lanka
'cos if the beds a ship and the sea is nice and rough
someone needs to play the part of the anchor
so who are you calling obscure?
clucking with your mates
god you're dead ringers for each other
is that the understandable as you see it?
with heroes and villians, genii and legends
you should be writing for the college magazine
it's a bowl so small that you'll look good
albeit a bit pissed up on the beer
so sing for joy the mummy's boy who was happy to take the love
but not so fussed that he could stop to thank her
all that child and all that labour and complaining by the neighbours
splinters from the part of the anchor
getting obsessed with body bits and knowing that you're not alone
watching TV as your mind's getting blanker
I really need some sewing done and want it doing beautiful
the woman plays the part of the anchor
he wished he was american, he even put the tv on
for 'portrait of a legend' on paul anka
he's into hazy faces and he'll visit foreign places
and bemoans the woman's part of the anchor
the power and the glamour are the roles that you can dig
but you will always pass on work 'cos you're a wanker
and on life's stage the state of play is decided by the man
and the woman plays the part of the anchor

FUNERAL STOMP

morbid tale; the fear of fear which supercedes it
wind from sail, just don't come near and guilt who needs it
woke up one morning and found for my sins
the sun posing round in the sky
scraped up my doubts and then made for the bin
the trash pulled the sleep from my eye
well there's no use in worry
as I told you, life's as easy as pie
say tara to your looks, maybe read a few books
and then die

tax and death and bellyache, such things to savour
priceless breath, oh for lucks sake, do me a favour
woke up one morning and found for my sins
the sun posing round in the sky
scraped up my doubts and then made for the bin
the trash pulled the sleep from my eye
well there's no use in worry
as I told you, life's as easy as pie
say tara to your looks, maybe read a few books
and then die

when I awoke, my politeness delayed
my thoughts rolling round in the dirt
the rose in my button hole warned it would fade
laid next to the heart of a flirt
well there's no use in worry
as I told you, life's as easy as pie
say tara to your looks, maybe read a few books
and then die

THE LAST LAUGH

god willing I'll come back
from this hell that I'm at now
where my wealth is measured in bluff
bring me down to earth
and broken feet be gone
bring on the morning

arched back and sober brow
on a losing streak
there's not much call for shepherds in Birmingham
the angels leave their waste
well wrapped but unhidden
(god bless 'em)

hey mickey, let me have three grand to one the two dog
let the hole in the base of my spine heal
make me tailless
take it, take it mick
I bet you five to four that I'm forgotten
her heels grew wings
and hearts grow rotten
but, anyway, god bless 'em

ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

there is no pace
there's little happiness
lack of a pulse
where is that sweet caress?
and why does that face
suddenly look so depressed?
lying and crying all the time
watching the minutes flow by
well I've got all the time in the world
on my own

better call off the date
better cancel the wedding
you take the kids
and I'll keep the bedding
oh, I want to hear you say
"ah, come on, behave"
but there's plenty more cock on the block
every single day
well I've got all the time in the world
on my own

I feel like calling the press
and trying to sell my autograph
you feel like breaking my neck
is announced by the way you laugh
"ha ha as if you could" you said
"prepare to compete
with that good looking,
now thinking singer on our street"
I looked into your eyes
without surprise
you kissed the wind
began to sing,
I've got all the time in the world
on my own

FAULTS

we've got mistakes we don't care to hide
our errors are hidden intentions inside
but you don't wanna hear what went wrong
just wanna dance to the rock 'n' roll song
we got faults
we got faults
perfection in itself is a fault
we stumble and blunder for better results
but you don't want to hear our defects
just want 1 2 3 4 prefects
we've got faults
but that's not our fault

NOTHING MATTERS

just a rumour of your breath will do
anything that's a part of you
I feel you
I smell you even when you're not there
so forget about time and place
all I need is to see your face
you see, I'm falling beyond the point of care
and my heads in your safe
but smiling
my hands on my heart
my hearts on my sleeve, saying
nothing matters other than this
spare me logic, give me a kiss
unbridled we stand
we're not frightened to fall

your heart, anything will do
as long as its part of you that's alright
you are the ace in my deck of lust
losing the salvation of the soul
to a mad mad love that is wonderful
in whose eye
the rest of the world is a speck of dust
and my heads in your safe
but smiling
my hands on my heart
my hearts on my sleeve, saying
nothing matters other than this
spare me logic, give me a kiss
unbridled we stand
we're scared of nothing at all

HEY ROBERTA

hey Roberta, get yourself down here
give me strength girl
blow me into gear
come on and poke me in the chest
I wanna hurt a lot and laugh a little
get a little rough with my smooth
come on lets stoke the hornets nest
then throw away the swat and take some stinging
leave ourselves with nothing to lose
and hey little girl I can't imagine how
but hey little girl
you know exactly what I mean

hey Roberta, don't you know its true
I'm so dumb, girl
booby trap my route
come on and bite me on the arse
and suit yourself
and you know I'll feel better
get smart and forget that I'm sick
you gotta lighten up this farce
you gotta drop your pants
and scream your head off
hey Roberta, gimme some stick
and hey little girl
I can't imagine how
but hey hey hey little girl
you know exactly what I mean

COME OVERFLOW

many days have passed since then
but I still recall the moment when
despite the cracks in my pretences
you helped me stumble to my senses
and now the emphasis has shifted
remember feeling bitter and twisted?
but you were there when I felt vacant
my jungle juice, my eggs and bacon
I'll clean the scum from around your bath
go arse over elbow just to make you laugh
come lowly land or come high water
impotent son and pregnant daughter
come overflow or empty stomach
some kind of naught
some kind of summit
for all the space you give to me
when you take, take my energy
and as and when trouble hits town
bet your bottom darling
I won't take it lying down
and when it shows its nos and nots
we'll show we come as a job lot
no stone unturned
no sheets to wash
no second hand on violent watch
there are no things we feel need proving
we get out of it without moving
come lowly land or come high water
impotent son or pregnant daughter
come overflow or empty stomach
some kind of naught
some kind of summit

SWEET GEORGIA BLACK

well how come it is I get so impressed?
however it is I wish you all the best
as the things go right for you and I walk away
sweet georgia black I wish you good day

and how come it is everything looks so sweet?
its easy to understand, its what attracted me >
well I say
sweet georgia black I bid you good day

well my two ways of wanting for you are starting to fight
I don't know if its me or you I'm thinking of every night
I guess theres nothing wrong with being a memory
and although you are
it takes nothing from what you mean to me

and so for the final time, in verse at least,
go on and be happy and I hope you succeed
and all the things go right for you as I walk away
sweet georgia black I hope you have a nice day

but I won't let this moment get turned into a trap
and if you're are ever without
then I won't turn my back
here I'll stand
with the words that I've written torn up in my hand


TOP FLOOR TO LET

we met, you said "I am a lover not a fighter"
i took your word for it that you were not a shyster
and then we went for a drink
and then you wanted another
and so the story goes, you set yourself on fire
with heart of gold it did unfold, it did transpire
that i'd teamed up with one as mad as a hatter
you beamed and then you screamed,
"unfolding doesn't matter"
yelling "yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
i got a top floor to let"

some people say you only do things for attention
that you're just looking for a liabilities pension
I ask myself "is this really worth the care?"
I face the facts and then i reckon
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i got a top floor to let

and when the peas were burned by my wondering mind
a lesson I should have learned for the very next time
and still I signed a contract with a friend of mine
a blank piece of paper with a dotted line
i wrote upon it
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah got a top floor to let

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST MIDLANDS

once upon a time in the west midlands
there lived a man, he wrote a song
fought for words as a consequence
as if there was any chance of faking his heart
or pandering to failing
bring on that entrancing girl
and watch his heart sink
oh god I would not bet against him
giving his all, completely genuine
and oh lord well I've seen him drinking
there sitting all alone
hoping and praying
that his true love will come home

never once, never twice
every time she took his breath away
every day, every space, every silence
he'll say "she's all I have"
as if there is anything capable
of altering the sway of his heart
bring out the gun and shoot me
if i'm lying to you
oh god I would not bet against him
giving his all, completely genuine
and oh lord well i've seen him drinking
there sitting all alone
hoping and praying
that his true love will come home

GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY

end, I was just cowardly
I know there are no prizes for changing
and doubt, iI made a meal of it
and hate was always mine for the taking
an eggshell past
I'm schtum with shame
oh god and his humour
a bullet scratched
revealed my name
loaded for the future
face up
the backbone and brain don't lace up
suspicion of pain
won't serve you right
the wind turns ill
rapes the heart and blinds the will
wish you
were in love with my nervous tissue
heaven preserve us
ideas will eat as vultures die
lets go forth and multiply
such crap
fell from a hundred lips
in spite
i know a history will start to come
but boy memories override
you're just
a bit too eager for martyrdom
a worthless man is one who weeps
get up and running
resist he can
and scars he'll keep
and take the gunning
face up
the backbone and brain don't lace up
suspicion of pain
won't serve you right
the wind turns ill
rapes the heart and blinds the will
wish you
were in love with my nervous tissue
heaven preserve us
ideas will eat as vultures die
lets go forth and multiply

SOMETHING NICE

my mind caught a train to a place called mundane
i got scared that something nice would fly by
i couldn't care less about consequence
i think i'll sit on the fence on that one
but i'm not getting younger feeling sorry for myself
i'm getting scared that something nice might fly by
i get scared that something nice will fly by
and i will miss it out the corner of my eye
cos i'll have one eye on the tv and one eye on the wife
one eye on the tv and that kind of life
yeah i get scared that something nice will fly by

well time gets me down, sitting around
i do a lot of joking and smoking
and being this character in the open wide
wanting people to love me and way up my psyche
and it's a real laugh when you think about it
still you gotta be real about it
so give me excitement, don't take none away
i can't remember having any, anyway,
i got scared that something nice might fly by
and i wouldn't see it with my little eye
cos i'd have one eye on something, one eye on another
one eye on my friends and my father and mother
one eye on the wife and the kids' ideas
what will i tell them in a few years?
i got scared that something nice would fly by?
scared that something nice would fly by

get around to thinking responsibility
getting strung up from that kind of tree
thinking still about class and ideas
and power and art, after all these years
and it's a laugh when you think about it
but you've got to be real about it
and if it's a joke then it's a lot of fun
and if it's serious then it's got to be done
cos i get scared that something nice will fly by
and i will miss it out the corner of my eye
cos i'll have one eye on the tv and one eye on the wife
one eye on the tv and that kind of life
yeah i get scared that something nice will fly by

i try to way up the percentage of restriction
imposed on me by this contradiction
of liking and loving and living with someone
oh what is it that i haven't done?
i know the la la list is endless
and i know it's getting longer
i used to call myself a writer but i can't cut it any longer
cos i got scared that something nice would fly by
and i'd be too busy looking in another direction
too busy dreaming and schemeing for perfection
and that's got to be a joke after all these years
gotta be real about it
i'm scared that something nice would fly by

and i'm sitting here being reasonably happy
sometimes sad and sometimes jolly
and most of the time imagining how things could be
how things could be better, all the things i could do
and a daydreamers life is the one that i choose
a wastrel who needs his balls kicking in
but they ache already and so do my pins
cos i'm tired of walking upstairs to the office
to get the company to put their hands in their pockets
i'm scared that something nice will fly by
and i will miss it with my blinkered eye
cos i'll have one eye on the top floor and an ear for his words
one eye on the street and an eye for the birds
all the perfume and the baths and the shaves and the time
and the perfumes and the baths and the shaves and the time
i get scared that something nice will fly by

and everytime i'm ill i think i'm dying
and everytime i'm sad i feel like crying
this is the state i've got myself in
gotta crack this age, gotta get things moving
i love that one and i love that other
i love my family, my sisters and brothers
i wish the world could get along
and everyone would dig my song
but i get scared that something nice will fly by
and i would miss it out the corner of my eye
cos i'd have one eye on something and one eye on another
one eye on my friends and my father and mother
one eye on the street and the kids' ideas
what will i tell them in a few years?
i got scared that something nice would fly by?
scared that something nice would fly by

mind caught a train to a place called mundane
it got scared that something nice would fly by
couldn't care less about consequence
i think i'll sit on the fence on that one
well i'm not geeting younger feeling sorry for myself
i'm getting scared that something nice might fly by
getting scared that something nice will fly by
and that i will miss it out the corner of my eye
cos i'll have one eye on the tv and one eye on the wife
one eye on the tv and that kind of life
i get scared that something nice might fly by
scared that something nice will fly by

FEAR EATS THE SOUL

there stood your man
the heart in his hands
a passion here to try
you walked down the aisle
the strength in your smile
blacked the beholders lazy eye
and i'm yours for all time
things were hard it's true
panic takes it's toll
but in our hearts we knew
fear eats the soul
short changed by fate
and chewing on hate
the vultures circled our backyard
and i'm yours for all time
things were hard it's true
panic takes it's toll
but in our hearts we knew
fear eats the soul
(?)
as indifference falls
beyond the joke
love conquers all
and we go dancing with disregard
(?)joy
this one will run and run, you'll see
and i'm yours for all time
things were hard it's true
panic takes it's toll
but in our hearts we knew
fear eats the soul
and every card is on show
play the starring role
cos in your heart you know
fear eats the soul

NOT FOREVER

R-if I had some time you know i'd let you take it
but as it happens i am tied up on my own
M-tip me a wink and i'll be on my way
R-you know the trouble is i just can't fake it
its hard enough when i am all alone
M-imagination shows and saves the day
R/M-oh oh oh oh oh we are next to no use
wah wah wah when not together
aha aha aha aha a hit without a bruise
a smarting pain
but not forever

MAN OH MAN


when asked for a token of gratitude
its not hard to decide which way to ride
up on the bandwagon
his story is open
thoughtful but crude
you got to surf with the tide
or run and hide
put up or else be gone
and he'll go down
taking in the crowd
watch his sorrows get drowned
too many bigots around
oh man oh man
the one who puts the why in history
now as if he can
he's been talking for centuries now
(?)
(?)
with the truth you profess to know
promise to get broken
and follow suit
oh strike up the band
terror is on hand
to show you the way to go
and he goes down


(C) Robert Lloyd