Vomitorium Obscenum Profiles

Spitfire

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Real name: Yolanda Stephanie Downs-Barton

Also known as: Yolanda. Or Yol.

Spawned: 06.07.1984

Degree or occupation: Good ol' standard English Studies. Hating with a deep, dark and cold hate that knows no end at my Drama module.

Rocksoc position: Avoider of the Rocksoc. Most of the cool people are outsiders or peripheral members in any case.

HISTORY OF NOISE

All-time favourite bands: Bah, I can't believe we're meant to write what bands we like. OK. Tallica, COB, Machine Head, FF, Pantera, Ministry, PL, Down, blah blah. As soon as you say a band are good with some justification I will run to check them out. Hence my musical taste is subject to alteration. Probably the best way to be IMO.

Current band: Never been in a band, although there was a half arsed attempt with some bint who didn't understand the lyrics I wrote (although they did scare the shite out of her) with me as a warbly voiced gothy singer. Did promotion for a host of badly named punk bands at one point. Posters involved scantily clad cyber chicks. Probably best forgotten.

Previous bands: See above.

All-time top 5 tracks:

All-time top 5 albums:

INTERESTS AND IRRITATIONS

All hail: Eating steaks, which have to be rare; tiramisu; noodles; JD and Coke; Jaegermeister; coffee; posh tea with lemon juice in cos I'm a bloody poser; orange juice; kettle chips; boots; my already quite battered and infamous Iron Maiden beanie baby; metal; strange and horrible liking of Coldplay (I don't understand that myself, in fact); comfy jeans bought from foreign countries (which are therefore cheap and yet a nice style that doesn't make me look like I have a big ass); silver rings; earrings of large and scary proportions; listening to old metallers getting all ranty and cute about any band they like; listening to old metallers telling stories about What It Was Like Back In The Day; painting / drawing; making minging nasty places to live look homey (by which I mean, strenuous DIY involving ripping things to pieces creatively); hitting people with weaponry (in a re-enactment type way this is); Lord Of The Rings, Hobbit, Silmarillion to an extent, Name Of The Rose, Alias Grace, The Handmaiden's Tale, more or less anything by Pratchett except the Rincewind books (let's face it, Interesting Times is about the only decent one that exists) but esp. all the ones about the guards and the witches, Wild Swans; American Beauty, Shawshank Redemption, Rashomon, Platoon, We Were Soldiers, Dog Soldiers; Apocalypse Now, Yojimbo, Crouching Tiger, Seven Samurai, Bladerunner, Vivre Sa Vie, Lost Highway et al; spikey belts; looking at bikes; dudes with long hair; Thora Birch; trenchcoats; cats; dancing around in my room knowing the door is locked and NO-ONE knows what I look like air guitaring; singing; absorbing useless information for no reason whatsoever; doing weights; mascara; dodgy religious icons cos they look cute and kitsch; meeting new people I can hug at random; being hugged at random; Spanish food; being in Spain; sniggering at bad Euro metal; sunbathing; piercings; swearing gratuitously like someone about half my age; the Old English bits of my course and in association my hilarious former Old English tutor; pet rats; Margaret Atwood; Vin Diesel; Daria; The Simpsons; South Park; Cow and Chicken; Invader Zim when I can get it; British movies in general; Alexi Leiho; Robb Flynn; Erik Rutan. Yes, I am a massive tomboy, despite looking naff all like a bloke.

Loathed and despised: Shitty teen romantic comedies; crap part time jobs that illegal immigrants would turn their destitute noses up at; anyone banging a tambourine around campus; budget, crappy horror; the godawful taste of St John's Wort; attention seeking whiney girls; crap hairdos; interchangeable trendies hitting on me; bitches who crash into me when I'm dancing; baggy cords; emo core; men who wear emo t shirts; anyone who claims emo is one of their favourite genres; Buffy; Friends; Will and Grace and other associate wanky yanky TV; scalleys / pikeys / townies / trendies; white trousers; shops that won't stock decent bras in my size; snobby twats I'm expected to associate with; residents of Lenton who insist on blaming student rent payers for the crimes caused by their own useless fucking nimby children; plain hamburgers; smackheads in McDonalds; appalling girlie books; the government for taking the money I've slaved for years to earn; hair straighteners; sulky pathetic goths; pointless pets like yappy rat-dogs and hamsters; anyone who writes for a women's fashion mag and spends hundreds of pounds on crap while viewing men as a different species; the Daily Mail; the Torygraph; garage rock / 'The' bands; Power Puff Girls; Britney Spears; anyone who pisses my mates off; sensationalist TV about rock / goths/ insert 'problem group' name here; Tories; New Labour trying to pretend they're not Tories; religious fundamentalists; anyone wearing Converse shoes; twatty men going through a midlife crisis and trying to be ultra trendy; people being patronising; lager; most people I grew up with, especially anyone who ever said 'that's boys' music' to me; Gloucester; and most of all, SWINDON.

OTHER CYBER-HAUNTS

On other message boards: Spitfire / Sketchylady. On the rare occasion that I should decide to post on Rocksoc.com, I post under my real name.

Websites:

ANYTHING ELSE

Quotes to live by:

"GIR unit reporting for duty, sir!" - An advanced cyber life form. Maybe.
"There against the enemy stood ready Byrhtnoth with his soldiers. He with his shield commanded
to form the battle ranks and that force of men to hold fast
firmly towards the enemy. Then was the fight near,
glory in battle. The time was come
that these doomed men would fall in battle.
There came the loud clamor. Ravens circled around,
eagles eager for carrion. On Earth was the battlecry.
They then sent forth from their hands shafts hard as file,
murderously sharpened spears flew.
Bows were busily at work, shields received spears.
Fierce was that onslaught." - anon, The Battle Of Maldon, Saxon origin
"Bollocks to all this, I'm having a shower" - me, numerous occasions.
"Why are the defenders of the white race always its worst examples? You! Where the fuck is your chin?" - Preacher, mid 90s
"Uh-oh. Big D." - unnamed goblin, 'Legend'.
"Living on the streets, I'm no stranger to goblins..." - housemate's comment on Dio Sabbath
"...you can always look forward to pointlessly sailing over the sea in a boat made of human toenails at Ragnarok..." - me again
"Vampires Don't Exist, Grow Up" - anonymous t shirt
"I hate pop punk and I really fuckin' hate ska." - Robb Flynn, 1997.
"It was great... I killed everything I saw". Zakk Wylde (Rockstar)

a dividing line

PERSONAL INFORMATION
Real name:	Yolanda Stephanie Downs-Barton
Also known as:	Yolanda. Or Yol.
Spawned:	06.07.1984
Degree or occupation:	Good ol' standard English Studies. Hating with a deep, dark and cold hate that knows no end at my Drama module.
Rocksoc position:	Avoider of the Rocksoc. Most of the cool people are outsiders or peripheral members in any case.

HISTORY OF NOISE
All-time favourite bands:	Bah, I can't believe we're meant to write what bands we like. OK. Tallica, COB, Machine Head, FF, Pantera, Ministry, PL, Down, blah blah. As soon as you say a band are good with some justification I will run to check them out. Hence my musical taste is subject to alteration. Probably the best way to be IMO.
Current band:	Never been in a band, although there was a half arsed attempt with some bint who didn't understand the lyrics I wrote (although they did scare the shite out of her) with me as a warbly voiced gothy singer. Did promotion for a host of badly named punk bands at one point. Posters involved scantily clad cyber chicks. Probably best forgotten.
Previous bands:	See above.
All-time top 5 tracks:
All-time top 5 albums:

INTERESTS AND IRRITATIONS
All hail:	Eating steaks, which have to be rare; tiramisu; noodles; JD and Coke; Jaegermeister; coffee; posh tea with lemon juice in cos I'm a bloody poser; orange juice; kettle chips; boots; my already quite battered and infamous Iron Maiden beanie baby; metal; strange and horrible liking of Coldplay (I don't understand that myself, in fact); comfy jeans bought from foreign countries (which are therefore cheap and yet a nice style that doesn't make me look like I have a big ass); silver rings; earrings of large and scary proportions; listening to old metallers getting all ranty and cute about any band they like; listening to old metallers telling stories about What It Was Like Back In The Day; painting / drawing; making minging nasty places to live look homey (by which I mean, strenuous DIY involving ripping things to pieces creatively); hitting people with weaponry (in a re-enactment type way this is); Lord Of The Rings, Hobbit, Silmarillion to an extent, Name Of The Rose, Alias Grace, The Handmaiden's Tale, more or less anything by Pratchett except the Rincewind books (let's face it, Interesting Times is about the only decent one that exists) but esp. all the ones about the guards and the witches, Wild Swans; American Beauty, Shawshank Redemption, Rashomon, Platoon, We Were Soldiers, Dog Soldiers; Apocalypse Now, Yojimbo, Crouching Tiger, Seven Samurai, Bladerunner, Vivre Sa Vie, Lost Highway et al; spikey belts; looking at bikes; dudes with long hair; Thora Birch; trenchcoats; cats; dancing around in my room knowing the door is locked and NO-ONE knows what I look like air guitaring; singing; absorbing useless information for no reason whatsoever; doing weights; mascara; dodgy religious icons cos they look cute and kitsch; meeting new people I can hug at random; being hugged at random; Spanish food; being in Spain; sniggering at bad Euro metal; sunbathing; piercings; swearing gratuitously like someone about half my age; the Old English bits of my course and in association my hilarious former Old English tutor; pet rats; Margaret Atwood; Vin Diesel; Daria; The Simpsons; South Park; Cow and Chicken; Invader Zim when I can get it; British movies in general; Alexi Leiho; Robb Flynn; Erik Rutan. Yes, I am a massive tomboy, despite looking naff all like a bloke.
Loathed and despised:	Shitty teen romantic comedies; crap part time jobs that illegal immigrants would turn their destitute noses up at; anyone banging a tambourine around campus; budget, crappy horror; the godawful taste of St John's Wort; attention seeking whiney girls; crap hairdos; interchangeable trendies hitting on me; bitches who crash into me when I'm dancing; baggy cords; emo core; men who wear emo t shirts; anyone who claims emo is one of their favourite genres; Buffy; Friends; Will and Grace and other associate wanky yanky TV; scalleys / pikeys / townies / trendies; white trousers; shops that won't stock decent bras in my size; snobby twats I'm expected to associate with; residents of Lenton who insist on blaming student rent payers for the crimes caused by their own useless fucking nimby children; plain hamburgers; smackheads in McDonalds; appalling girlie books; the government for taking the money I've slaved for years to earn; hair straighteners; sulky pathetic goths; pointless pets like yappy rat-dogs and hamsters; anyone who writes for a women's fashion mag and spends hundreds of pounds on crap while viewing men as a different species; the Daily Mail; the Torygraph; garage rock / 'The' bands; Power Puff Girls; Britney Spears; anyone who pisses my mates off; sensationalist TV about rock / goths/ insert 'problem group' name here; Tories; New Labour trying to pretend they're not Tories; religious fundamentalists; anyone wearing Converse shoes; twatty men going through a midlife crisis and trying to be ultra trendy; people being patronising; lager; most people I grew up with, especially anyone who ever said 'that's boys' music' to me; Gloucester; and most of all, SWINDON.

OTHER CYBER-HAUNTS
On other message boards:	Spitfire / Sketchylady. On the rare occasion that I should decide to post on Rocksoc.com, I post under my real name.
Websites: