Disclaimer

Nothing, and I do mean nothing, appearing in or on these pages, or anywhere else, should be believed, accepted or in any way relied upon in any context whatsoever. The verisimilitude of the content herein is not guaranteed, and in fact you can be pretty sure that none of the statements or facts stated herein have been checked or in any way researched. Most of them were made up. You should not proceed unless you know and accept this.

If you think that anything herein relates to you, anyone you know, or anything you know, you are wrong and hereby accept that you are at fault generally. Any appearance of similarity is due to coincidence, non-actionable accident or artistic licence; whichever one or combination is most likely to get me out of any trouble I might be in. Reading, seeing or in any way knowing about this disclaimer implies your consent to the contents of these WebPages appearing there, including any original work I may have plagiarised from you or anyone you know, have known or might know in the future. Moreover you agree to indemnify me in respect of everything, including but in no way limited to, my lunch. Anything that does appear here that you find upsetting or actionable shall be deemed to be YOUR FAULT, and you accept this by opening wrappers, any wrappers, at any time in your life. In the event of anything appearing to be my fault you agree to change your world-view until it isn’t.

Everything here shall be deemed to be my own work and you hereby agree that I should benefit from it, financially and otherwise, including any work that you may ‘originally’ have created that is included here. In this connection you irrevocably refute the Law of Causality. If anyone else takes action against me in respect of anything appearing herein it shall be deemed your work that you sneakily posted here without my knowledge or consent.

Existential rider: by existing, you accept that I should be allowed to do whatever I want whenever I want with whomsoever, or whatsoever, I want and you pledge your consent, finances and active encouragement to all my endeavours, fantasies and whims. You also agree that if anything goes wrong it is your fault.

Whatever age you are the wrong age to be granted access to this website. Shoo. Come back when your are differently aged, but re-read before entering.

This is an equal opportunities website and I will upset anyone regardless of intellect, age, gender, gender preference, beliefs, belief system, ability, inability, disability, colour, pattern, taste, race or species. We’re all one big, unhappy family, as far as I’m concerned.

If you want to complain about anything, anything at all, please feel free to flame <INSERT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HERE>.