Blank Wall Gazing Zen

The bumps and ridges come alive in fluid animation,  
image after image flowing into and assuming 
the shape and substance of each other,  
a merry-go-round kaleidoscope of whimsy,  
an abstract pantheon of the mind’s detritus - 
I release and let them go.

Is bliss being removed from the chaos of attachments?  
If so, I am blissful right now - 
she is neither here, nor in my head.

Shine on you crazy diamond -  
the music flows over me in solid waves of ice, 
anaesthetising me to imagined pain.  
Oxymoronic, I introspect 
over the rooftops of this cramped city: 
encompassing all 
in the smallest kernel of my soul; 
a universe within an atom.  

I am imploded: 
valium and hash turning my brain 
into a marshmallow stairwell.  
I know not and care not 
whether I climb or fall.

I stare out into empty space 
with empty eyes and empty heart:  
not a trace of her is left in my blood; 
I have rubbed her out,
like the sound of one hand clapping.  

I forget her eyes, I forget her lips -  
the cat is tied to the bed 
and a whole forest has toppled 
without being heard.

Shine on you crazy diamond -  
my lips taste of burnt roach, not of her kisses.  

Look at my finger!  
See how it glows as I point to the moon.