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I have been privileged(?) to have an opportunity to "speak" with some of the games leading managers, George Borg, and Paul Fairclough.
First up was the short trip to the Rec, where I was told George was waiting for me in the cellar. Just a nickname for the dressing room? If only. George was sitting in front of a large pot, with a voodoo doll, of what appeared to be a milk float.
KN: So George. Runners up in the league behind Dagenham last season, you must be pleased.
GB:
Hubble, bubble, I wish for more crowd trouble...What are you doing interrupting my meditation?
KN:
Sorry, I was wondering what you think of Aldershot's promotion challenge this season?
GB:
How in the hell should I know? Every time we play, I'm far too drunk to remember. But you can't print that. Mmmmmmm..Tequila..
KN:
Hmmm, what is the meaning behind the doll of a milk float?
GB:
Milk float? This is Carl Hoddle. He is determined not to sign for me, so this is how I want to pay him back.
KN: Why are you trying to sign Carl Hoddle?
GB: So I can build a team of players Woking loathe.Dave Venables next, then Paul Gothard.
KN:
Thanks for your time George...
GB: Call me SATAN!!!!!!
KN: OK, Sat...
GB:
Bwahahahaha!!!!!
At this point, Borg grabbed me and attempted to make me part of the burgers at the Wreck. Git.
Next up, a trip to Stevenage, to see old Paul Fairclough, who insists he is a changed man. I walk in to find him on the phone.
PF: Yes, I'd like to speak to the Torquay hotline, yes, I was wondering if you'd considered my latest bung, AAAARGH!!
KN:
Sorry Paul, I didn't mean to interrupt.
PF: OK!OK! How much do want not to tell the Woking fans!
KN:
I won't say anything Paul.
PF: I didn't know what I was doing!! Um, I'm drunk?! No! Don't print that!
KN:
Paul..
PF: I have got a birth certificate damn it!! I'm not illegitimate!!!
KN: Hang on...
PF: I need to talk to Victor!! Help!! He always has good advice, it was him who told me to ring Torquay!!!
KN:
Are you scared of him?
PF: I'm not scared of anyone! What are you saying? Enter Darran Hay, who swears loudly at Fairclough
PF:
Darran! Get back! I'll get you if you touch me!
DH: You see this truncheon Paul, I'm gonna..
At this point I decided to leave. Darran resembles Rambo you know.
So there you have it, what they do when the cameras are away. I tried to speak to Brian Talbot, but apparently, his name is Mandy at
weekends.For the record, here is George's list of scummers to play in his dream team.
1. Paul Gothard. (Ex-Dagenham)
2. Graham Roberts (Ex-Enfield)
3. Efe Sodje (Ex-Boro)
4. Carl Hoddle (Ex-Woking)
5. Dave Venables (Ex-Boro)
6. Gary McCallister (Ex-Coventry)
7. Phil Gridelet (Ex-Woking)
8. Phil Wingfield (Ex-Farnborough)
9. Justin Jackson(Ex-Woking)
10. David Leworthy (Ex-Everybody)
11. Nassim "Judas" Akrour (Ex-Woking)
I agree with George. Very annoying. And a final word for Paul- I still think Victor had nothing to do with it!!!!!!
KN
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