Real Name: John Van Laer
Team Supported: Hayes
Age:  24

How did you become a Hayes supporter? We moved to Hayes in  1981 and my Dad got involved with the club soon after - we lived about 10  minutes' walk from the ground, and the old man took me to my first game  in...

How long have you been a supporter? November 1984, home in the  FA Trophy against Folkestone, Hayes won 2-1 after being 1-0 down at half time,  and I got my first Hayes scarf that day! It was in our crappy old colours of old  gold and black, still got it somewhere.

Best Footballing Moment? It's  got to be when we won the Isthmian League on the last day of the 95-96 season,  THAT goal by Junior Haynes was the difference between us and Enfield! What a  day, I made the trip back from uni in Scotland to see the match and I would  never have forgiven myself if I'd missed Hayes actually winning something! Oh,  and beating Germany at Euro 2000, I really enjoyed that seeing as I live  there!

Worst Footballing Moment? Difficult one, but probably losing  8-1 at home to Sutton in 93, that's got to be the worst Hayes team that I can  remember and that is the only match I've left early. Ever. I heard Sutton's 8th  going in as I walked home, I was so sick about that result I could hardly  speak.

Funniest Footballing Experience? Tricky one that - but I was  at St Johnstone v. Kilmarnock last season, one bloke got so bored with the game  that he stripped off in the front row of the stand and streaked corner to  corner, before being applauded off the pitch by players and  police!

Best current player at your club and why? Going on what I've  heard about this seasons games, Paul Gothard is really proving his worth in goal  at the moment with some match-saving displays.

Best "past" player at  your club and why? It would be easy to say Les Ferdinand, but he was really raw  when he played for us, the move to QPR made him. Jason Roberts was a different  class for the short time he was with Hayes, and players like Warren Kelly and  Andy Cox were massively important in our championship team. Seems unfair to  choose any one player really, mind you I could produce a long, long list of  donkeys who have somehow worn the red and white stripes down the  years!

Best all time (all football levels) player and why? Probably  Cruyff, not that I ever saw him play, but what I have seen on video is hard to  believe sometimes. I would have said Maradona, but he could still be playing at  the highest level if he hadn't lost the plot totally and snorted his career up  his nose...

What do you think of your team this year ? We've lost the  backbone of the team for the second summer running and although we've started a  lot better than expected, we're probably in for a hard season. Mind you, if our  new signings manage to keep the pace, we might do better than anyone  expects...

What do you think of your teams manager ? Terry Brown is  the best thing to happen to Hayes in a long time, he brought us back from the  abyss, we were staring relegation in the face when he took over in 93 but he got  the best out of a pretty poor squad, spent the Ferdinand money well and got us  promoted in 96. How he has kept Hayes in the Conference for 4 seasons already is  nothing short of a miracle when you look at our pitiful crowds and the fact we  can't afford any transfer or signing-on fees. Here's hoping he can pull the  rabbit out of the hat again this season, because if we go down, we won't be back  for a long time.

Favourite non league ground you've been to and why ? Despite the whole anti-Rushden thing, their ground is quality. The big stand at  Woking is nice, but it really shows up the rest of the ground. I always used to  enjoy trips to Bognor and Windsor though, the grounds had 'character' and could  be called quaint, and we normally bagged 3 points!

Worst non league  ground you've been to and why ? Brimsdown Rovers in the county cup a few years  back, it was terrible - little more than a park pitch with floodlights and a bus  shelter, and the sad thing was they took us to a replay... Mind you, Molesey  runs it close! How that ground got an Isthmian Premier grading is beyond me.  Anyone for Welling? San Siro, I don't think.

Best goal seen scored ?  Dave Pearce scored an absolute beauty against Aylesbury in 94, first time volley  from 35 yards out on the touchline straight over the keeper... and for the  moment, Junior Haynes' volley against Carshalton to win the league takes some  beating!

Living out here in Germany makes me realise how much the  standard of football in the Conference has improved, even in the 4 years that  Hayes have been in it. Compared to English non-league, the German Regional- and  Oberligen are pretty poor, some of the grounds would struggle to get a Ryman Div  3 grading, the crowds are awful and the skills on display are pretty shabby.  Still, I can forgive the Germans everything because at least I can have a  bratwurst and a beer standing on the terraces over here!