The first home game of the season brought about the usual traumas and tribulations of how 11 grammar school men were going to select, carry out and assemble not one but TWO goals, without guidance, help or an instruction manual!! With the odds looking against us from the outset, we puffed out our chests and declared that not only are we men, but we have a grammar school education - who needs any instruction manuals!!!! How quickly the mighty fall!!! With a lot of head scratching, hip holding and chin rubbing, we eventually put together 2 goals which looked like they would fall over if our debutant goalkeeper (strangely named Kneehard?) would even so much as fart near the posts, let alone if we should manage to get a shot on target (I was more concerned about the fomer).

After a well deserved point last week, there were the obligatory couple of changes that has come to be Parks tradition over the last season or two. With Nutty getting married there were a few absentees from the club this week, giving 17 year-old 4th team keeper Kneehard his chance in the first team. Raven came back into the midfield after a hamstring lay off and Fluffy Jnr returned to the left hand side.

The game started well for Parks. Knappy/Zidane had an early (eighth/quarter) chance when the ball dropped to him on the edge of the area. He tried an off balance, half volley, leaning back which went flying over the goal and trapped the batsmen on the cricket pitch LBW. Knapman then sent Sammy past the last man, and on his left hand side, Sammy forced the keeper into a save. After 20 minutes the tired/unfit/hamstring deficient Raven was replaced by Gypo.

Finchlieans started to get the ball down in midfield and had a very good chance when their right winger got the byline and crossed the ball over Trev to an unmarked player who failed to hit the target from 6 yards. The breakthrough then came through on the stroke of half time when Finchlieans got a free kick about 22.645 yards out and the guy bent it around the wall in off the post. 0-1. The teamtalk at halftime was centred around not giving another goal away early on....

The second half kicked off, they punted the ball over our defence the guy nicked the ball away from Kneehard and then went down like Pires. The ref obviously gave the pen, as Kneehard tried to protest his innocence. On his debut though, he pulled out a magnificent diving save to his left hand side which revitalised Parks. Midway through the second half, Bernstein picked the ball up from the back and went on a marauding run forward. He found Knappy and in turn, Knappy found the continuation of Bernsteins run into the box and with the touch of a Swedish masseuse Bernstein lifted the ball over the 6 foot something brute which stood between us and a goal. 1-1. This was not to be Bernsteins last confrontation with their keeper.

Just as we settled back into our stride, a good ball through the centre of our defence allowed their striker to nip in and touch the ball past Kneehard. 1-2. With minutes left, Bernstein again found himself unmarked at the far post and with careful use of his hand controlled the ball and rifled from an acute angle - the referee saw the use of his hand and disallowed the goal. With just minutes left, Knappy found himself on the right hand side of the box. He looked up and saw Bernstein (does this guy do any defending??) and Jacko unmarked in the box. The ball was crossed to Bernstein who bent to head the ball but then as if by magic, went down under the keepers challenge looking like he had been shot with an AK47. Their Phil Mitchell lookalike keeper didn’t take too highly to Bernstein’s Drama A-Level qualification and threatened to treat him to a good old-fashioned knuckle sandwich. Once again the ref gave a dubious penalty, but Knapman made no mistake from the spot. 2-2. With only seconds left, Parks couldn’t help but test the resolve and angina tablets of the past players watching on the sidelines. A cross from their guy on the right found the head of their striker. Kneehard pushed the ball against the post, and watched agonisingly as the ball trickled back along the goalline, before recovering his feet and picking up the ball.

The final whistle blew and overall 2-2 was a fair result. Another point in the bag with Carshalton to play at home next week.

Scorers: Knapman, Bernstien
Man of the Match: Bernstein
Team: Kneehard, Miller, Bernstein, Nicholls, Coweth, Jackson, Collins, Cook, Raven, Knapman, Murdoch
Sub: Bostock

Report by Jon Raven