What is a Rams Fan ?
(a humerous guide)
A Rams fan :
is born and bred in Derby or was subjected to repeats of 'Star Soccer ' whilst living in Australia or realised that black and white was cooler than all the red and white rags his mates were wearing or simply realised Derby County had won the championship twice in the 70's unlike Newcastle !
has a pathological hatred of n*ttingham F*rest and will never write the full words ,but can write Notts as this gets up the tree huggers branches.
has various superstitions about what will win the match ,these vary between putting on lucky underpants ,checking the height of the gas tanks outside P.P. on Satdee morning,making sure you have your lucky Ram , having a customary half in the Smithy before the match and trying to interpret TBE'S comments in the match programme.
Has to check the web every day to find out who the current Rams manager is!
Has a Rams toilet seat in his bog!
Thinks Lionel Pickering has run the club in to teh ground and should hand over his shares now!
Loves Lionel Pickering and still thinks he has a cunning plan to save the Rams and it will work.
Still buys a season ticket even though her name is Gill
Still buys their kids season tickets when they know their will be loads of kids for a quid tickets during the season.
Thinks 'Baldy' is the new messiah.
Joins Ramstrust so that Derby County may have a future.
Has Derby-mad set as their homepage and reads 'Norm' every week.
Hated Darryl Powell thinks he's useless and can't play.
Loved Darryl Powell says he's a born leader ,has one of the best pass completion rates in the Premiership and always gives 100% and his goal against Fester wasn't a fluke.
Cannot pass a field of sheep without thinking about the love of his/her team and the last great win.
HatedDeon Burton and thinks he can't play and misses ten sitters per match
Loved Deon Burton and says he just needs a run in the team to find his form and his goal against 'boro wasn't a fluke.
Never leaves the ground before the final whistle even if we're losing 10-0 (lets face it this could become a reality)
Frames the parking ticket from the Wyvern centre when the Rams have a good win
Checks his passport is valid before he goes on holiday in case immigration officials spot his Rams shirt and refuse him entry back in to the country.
Writes to his M.P. in support of Fox hunting.
Takes a correspondence course on tree surgery
Knows that the press doesn't like us but doesn't care -he/she knows they are supporting the best team
Organises a 'shopping' trip to London so he can see Rams v Wham while his missus does Harrods with Lars !
Knows all the players car registration numbers off by heart
enjoyed these ? email me at polcop@ntlworld.com with your 'what is a Rams fan ? the best /funniest will appear here.
Your What is a Rams Fan ?
From the great Bert Mozely (we are not worthy Bert !):
"A Ram's Fan is "wot the Japanese wave to cool themselves and is made from wool...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Ellie Birch (Northants)
You have to breed sheep in your back garden
You have to worship sheep not sh*g them!
You should stay up on a Saturday night 'til the very end of Match of the Day so you just catch the short highlights of Derbys' game even if its' against the champions Manure !
You have to marry Malcolm Christie (oops sorry that's Ellie's rule !)don't know if she feels teh same nw he has gone to muddles!