Chris dressing up for CIN. |
Woodborough United Football Club |
Well where do i begin...
Friday was a Lowdham bowling nite
which began with DC at the coach. We headed to the Railway and then into town.
One at the Keanes Head was followed by more beers and a couple of games of
bowling. Ricki took the bowling crown before more ale was supped in lloyds. we
then headed to the casino where the sun was shining out of Boves arse all
nite...£500 to the good and all is well, Ricki won £200 and the nite was
amazing. Rumour has it i nearly destroyed some bloke in the casino...lets just
say he won't look at Rach like that again. The frame made him back off..and yes
i was wearing my vest underneath.
The vest remained on for an understrength
Boro side to take on Beeston. Domination occurred although the 3-2 scoreline
doesn't reflect it. A typical poachers goal from crabby and a couple from Bove
gave Boro the points.
Back to the keys for some beers and then to the Dogs
for some of us. The winning weekend continued as £40 was won at the dogs which
paid for a curry and some more beers at Southbank!
Lowdham won on Sunday and
the evening was spent in the Coach and in the Nags playing stickys...roll on
Friday!!
As ever Friday began with a Blanc or 3 in the Coach and it was
great to be joined by Johhno and Linford...
A couple of balncs later and a
few headed to Calvo working mens club to pick up some non-existant ,money and
whilst they were there sampled a couple of cheap bevvies, whilst playing the
"evrytime you go to the bar you have to get a different drink game"!
Ricki
made a twat of himself as seany pulled away his chair and wtached him drop to
the floor like a proper bumbling idiot!
We all then moved onto the Keys
where we continued our game and ordered take away Pizza - delicious.
Saturday came and after seasling Robbie Williams tickets at Wembley, seany
and ricki came over to raymondos for beans on toast!
To the lane we ventured
and the Boro destroyed their opposition 4-0 and it could have been a lot more.
Crabby gave us the lead with a simple finish and Linford doubled the lead from
the spot. Bove added a third before half time with a sweet strike and then a few
changes were made at half time. Only one goal was scored in the second half, a
powerful strike from the Skipper, but it could have been 10! Johnno came on and
"never touched" anyone!
To the keys we all went for a couple of bevvies
before everyone made their own ways to various locations. Work, bands and town
were the three popular choices!
Sunday came and Lowdham won a match on
concrete against Ashland rovers...sorry Rifle FC...albeit after extra time.
Unbelievabley we played 120 mins and young Laus who played at right back didn't
get cramp!!
Not many were out on sunday but Rickster, Bove, seany and
Ray-diddly went to the Nags for a couple of games of stickys!
brilliant
scenes....two days til the weekend...If anyone fancies ten pin bowling on friday
night let me know asap!
Chris dressing up for CIN.
The usual Friday run of the mill, customary pints of blanc at the
Coach began at 5.30 before we ventured to the Keys for a meeting. Fundraising
ideas were put forward and your involvement will be crucial - watch this space!
several of us then hit the Mount for delights of kebab, hot meats, mushrooms
and kingfisher! We gave the lovely Mandy seanys number and she's phobed him
since!
back to the keys to find Willo propping up the bar, with a whisky in
hand - marvellous!
saturday saw the first league meeting of Boro and an
unbeaten Racing. Now, revenge was required for the cup defeat and revenge was
obtained! One nil after 20 with Crabbys cross going in and two nil after 65 with
a peno from Linf after Crabby had been cropped! Plenty of winding up the
opposition, an attempted strangulation, a couple of cheeky fouls and some
excellent hair-pulling occurred!
Back to the key for sausages, chips and
football and beer - England bahsed the argies, the aussies and the New
zealanders all in one night - Brilliant scenes!
sunday came and went in a
flash and with no football on tele was quite subdued - however it didn't stop
some of us having a few cheeky Blancs at the Coach.
Who's up for a couple of
chheky cheap ones at Calvo working mens this Friday? roll on the
weekend..
Afternoon all,
By way of change Friday began with the new
home of drinking club at the Coach and as ever a couple of cheeky Blancs were
supped. Friday has become varied for all team members and this one was no
different, Bove went to work, a few went to the Mount and a couple headed to
Gloucestershire?! After the Mount several team members ventured into town for a
few snakey-bs in walkabout and then the usual trip to the casino - but shock
horror this time Ricki man won!
The boys met for footie on saturday and the day started perfectly when nothing
but hysterical laughter erupted from the home dressing room as we listened to
the angelic voice of ricki singing classics such as senorita and leave right now!
Everyone was in great spirits for the game which was against a central midlands
team called Forest Town. The game didn't go as planned, Boro couldn't find the
back of the net and although the scoreline suggests Town won easily, that
was never the case. It's no wonder they've lost most games in their
league...another day and we would have won...
Anyway, we trecked back to the keys, heads held high and the laughter began
once more as the woodboro fan club got to sample a taste of Ricksters vocal
talents!
More beers and then most of us met back down the Anchor for a few more
beers, some fireworks and toasted flumps around the bonfire - delicious
Mr Crowe!
Sunday began with another resounding Lowdham vicory - 7-1 - and then an
afternoon of watching United stuff Chelsea, some more beers at the Coach,
a curry from Lowdham take away at boves and bed!
all in all another weekend magnifique.
NEWSFLASH: If you would like Ricki singing as your ring tone please bring
along your phone on saturday and turn on your blue tooth...Sean and Raymondo can
help!
Bring along your scoring and kicking boots on Saturday...we owe Racing
a hiding!
So friday begins, as ever, with the DC, again at the Coach where we
enjoyed a couple of delectable Kronenberg Blancs. Everyone then departed making
their own ways to various locations: Bove was Djing, Raymondo went to the
Lambley, Seany was in Leeds and the other motley crue of Ad, embo, Woody, Linf,
Ricki, trev, Nic, laus and Mat but to name a few went to the Mount for another
evening of foreign beer, wine and of course an ass-ripping paramount curry!!!
Saturday began with sore arses for the mount boys, and preparation for the
big game against Ashland.
Linford was out injured so the team were foreced
into changes with Woody playing a solitary role upfront.
On a heavy pitch
the game began well with saco giving the boro the lead. Ashland got back into
the game witha fortunate goal and the first half continued with some major
refereeing issues.1-1 at the break and the second half was set to be
interesting. how interesting it was when Trev passed to their front man who ran
the ball passsed seany to make it 2-1. for all Boros pressure they couldn't get
back into the game and their new found bogey team struck again.
Saturday
afternoon was still enjoyed with the usual boro banter and some went to town,
and some to the Keys for a 3.30am session - oh Jesus!
Sunday came and went
in a blur. In short, Lowdham won, we went to the railway at night and ended up
back in the keys doing stupid drinks til 2.30am. Bitter and cider taste
remarkabley nice together. Ben and Raymondo fell asleep in the keys, Sean drew
on Rachs nose and Bove was wide awake!
Monday had serious hangover
issues.....
two days to go!
Fellas, bithces, pimps and whores.....
Friday began at the
Coach, the new home for the DC, and again several pints of the Blanc stuff were
consumed by some of us. Friday evening soon went and Saturday came. There was a
new plan...win at footie and get bladdered!
The plan went fully according to
plan. the gaffa had spent all week deliberating on new team tactics and without
Benji and Golden things had to change...and the changes went well. A 4-5-1
formation was put into action and even though a dubious penalty was given to
prvide Sherwood with the lead, the 'Boro soon found their feet and smashed in 4
goals before the break. Four more were added in the second half and it could
well have been more. Notable mentions musdt go to Jonno for his no nonsense
tackel after 5 minutes, saco for missing a hat full and claiming an assist for
one of Mats 3, linford for yet another hat trick (and one more) and Willo for
another first team performance.
back to the Keys we went to bask in the 9
goal thriller and sup some ale. Sup we did and this continued in town where some
of us went to Cookie and others to media....
Steve Tommo was wankered and
disappeared around one ish bumbling to himself....
Sunday came and went,
with a Lowdham victory, sean having a penis injury (brilliant!), he got it
caught in his zipper and cut it...the nurse didn't know what to say!
3 days
to go....
Let's go...
Friday = drinking club and just to please young
Laus we had a change of scenery for once...we went to the coach and horses and
sat and supped a couple of kronenburg Blancs. I did one, but Briggsy, Woody,
Wayne wonder, Ricki Man, Seany and Laus stayed on for a bit longer, before most
of them went to the Nags for a few more. A mention must go to Ricki as he got
asked for ID at the bar...hahahaha!
Saturday came again and we were away at
racing in the cup..the team we beat twice last season decided to give us a
lesson of our own and we went down 4-1. A shocking first half from us all cost
us the game, but the second half did improve greatly with mentions to Linford
for his 5 yard miss, Johnno for injuring himself trying to foul someone and
their little left footed yowwwwth who really needs his voice to break!
Saturday evening saw the usual suspects head for town and have some more
beer!
Sunday came, lowdham won and the first Boro FC conker championship
took place in the Cross Keys tent (see photos) Congrats to BB, who won the main
event and the Super Cup, Ad who the Spazz cup and to Alan Thompson for attemting
to use an avocado stone instead of a conker! Oh and a mention to Simon Jocelyn
for putting out his own shins and arms in attempting to hit the oppositions
conker a little too hard. I believe he hit 3 out of 54 attempts!!
Then we
carried on drinking at the Coach where Bove did his usual trick and went to
sleep for an hour!
3 days and counting....
Sorry for the delay...obvious reasons...
Friday began with
a couple at the DC. Bove buggered off to Goosey with Laus, Charl and Ray-diddly,
and the boys ventured into Southwell. We met back up with Seany, Marv, Steggs,
Woody, Briggsy, Johnno (again!), Cat etc..and had a few cheeky ones in the
Rodney!
Saturday came and we were up against the undefeated Underwood...and
although at times it looked as though we were gonna take the game, Underwood are
still unbeaten. linfords early goal gave us the lead but a slick move and a
penalty gave Underwood a 2-1 half time advantage. The boro bit back after the
break with another Linford header and a 18 yard strike from saco...all was going
well. then underwood got an equaliser against the run of play from a free kick
that never was..but the marking sucked. They grabbed two more before the end and
boro went home with nil pwan! These early bloody kick offs are ruining our
season!!
Saturday continued in their pub and then back at the Keys for the
England game and then at night everyone did their own thing....rumour has it
that on saturday Johnno had his last night out with the lads until she's gone
again...hurry away lady!
Sunday was spent losing for Lowdham and having a
few beers at mine whilst watching the MATCH....two days to go!!
laters
taters
Friday saw lots of us doing different things....Bove and Rach went to Alton
towers and then met with ricki man, saco, Marv and the gaffer who went to
drinking club. Ben went to see hannah on their anniversary (smooth) and Ad and Em returned from their Jols...
Then Saturday came...with a few squad members away the mighty Boro travelled
to sunny Mansfield to play in the Notts County cup, a cup Willo wants us to
win for him (joking asides i want to win it for myself, not him!). Anyway we
answered his call with a slightly disappointing performance but nevertheless
a victory. Two second half goals, one opportunist header from Saco and a tap
in for Linford after great work from mat Crabby gave the boro a nice cushion
until the last kick of teh game when Ad Crabby looped one over Seanys head
to make it 2-1. In Crabbys defence the cross should never have come in and
on a less windy day it probably wouldn't have gone in.
Back to the Keys to celebrate...with the Trkish landlord comically spilling
a pint over Johnno...or did Johnno piss himself in the excitement of not
being out with the missus.
Many of us then ventured into Sherwood for a beer or three at the new
catmandoo, the Oak Tree...very nice for Sherwood but funking London drink
prices for wine (hey Willo!)
Then onto Paramount for a curry...well for most of us...after 3 bowls of
lime chilli, a hot meat starter...a sleep was required..everyone else
enjoyed a curry and more wine (especially Johnno)...Johnno went ot be sick,
Bove woke up....and went to be sick and then some went to town and some
home.
Picture the taxi journey back...'Johnno, where do you live', to which he
replied, for the next 15 minutes "CITY HEIGTS YYYOOOOUUUWWWWTTTTTHHHHH"!!
This was said in a muffled drunk manner which had myself, raydiddly and Saco
in stiches.....
Rumour has it Johnno is still in bed recovering!!
Sunday another match, a draw, a few beers down the Railway in the evening
listening to the worst band ever....
3 days and counting....
GGOOOOOODDD afternoon team...
Friday began at the Keys for a swift pint before Bove went to work, Seany,
Rach and Laus got bladdered on red wine, Briggsy and Woody went to Derby and
Ricki et al all did other stuff like work...
So when saturday came we were all looking forward to a rearranged game as
Lady bay couldn't get a team...how wrong we were. Game - that was no game,
possibly the most one-sided mtach i've ever played at mens football.
7-0 at half time, 14-0 at full time, saco 5 (should've been 10) Linford 5
and Woody and others scored too! However, as bad as they were a job well
done...except Nick who would've possibly not even got into their team!!!
Now the fun continued long int saturday evening and night.
a quick couple down the Nags then a mini-bus to town. Bistro wouldn't let us
in so we went to a pub full of weirdos and played table football for a bit!
Bistro Live then let us in and the games began. A bit of table hopping
whilst dining, hiding hop-a-longs crutches, and drinking pitchers of lager
set the tone. the quiz came and went, Sean didn't even know we did a quiz,
and the band began the festivities...never have i seen such a good lucking
football team and wives/girlfriends/friends shake so much booty!!
Pole dancing, table jumping, shirt sweating, shot drinking, ass shaking,
stage hopping, wine guzzling, break-dancing, crazy moving bunch of cool mo-fos
are we!
Casino was the next stop, before Victoria and then inally bed.....at
4.30ish!!!
Sunday was Raymondos b'day...
Lowdham won, we drank at the keys, had dinner at Tom Browns and then hit the
railway for "just one more..."
Another wonderful weekend.....4 days to go....
peace!
Report starts here:
So Friday came and drinking club began, as
usual, at 5.30 at the Woodlark. Joined by Willo, Crabby and Beebs we ventured to
the Worlds End...for the first and last time. Bove went to do anoter
disco/karaoke, and the others all went to the Keys and then the Ngas where they
drank copius amounts of ale and wine!!
Saturday came and the boys met at the
lane. All wee there except Holly who believed we were meeting later...these
Sneinton lads are sooo stupid!
We arrived at the game ready to face a team
who had scored in excess of 100 goals last season, so we thought we were up for
a tough game.
The game began nice and open, on a relatively big pitch, a
couple of half chances for each side in the first 20 minutes, with the most
notable part being Seany wiping out their attacker!
Then the first goal
arrived. Lays won the header, Saco put Bove in down the right and he crossed for
Linford to head home at the back post.
The game remained one0nil until half
time, where Willo gave us a verbal ear bashing and told us to pick the game
up..and boy did we!
5 minutes into the second half came another boro blitz:
BOOM - Briggsy smashes the ball into the back of the net; BASH - Linford turns
in his second at the near post; BOSH - Matt Crabby comes on and with his first
touch steers the ball into the left corner.
More goals followed from Saco,
Linford to complete his trick and another from poacher Crabtree to wrap up
another fine win for the Boro. Oh yeah, they scored one as well, but who
cares!!!
Saturday continued with beers at the Keys where many of us stayed
and had a few!
Sunday was a day of rest with football watching, pizza
eating, monopoly playing and drinking being done, before some of us had a game
of sticky at the Nags....another quite lovely weekend.....Roll on Friday....
peace