Steve has played with the Caesars since they were formed in 1995. He is in the process of working his way around every position on the team. Currently he has yet to play running back. His finest moment was throwing his helmet over 60 yds on a single play (See note 1). His hopes for the season are to complete a pass. TOP

Scott would be a better player if he wasn't so short. At only 5 ft 1 inch, he is second shortest only to Jay smith. In an effort to improve the situation, he is growing his hair, and has already added over 8mm this season alone. He hopes this year to rush for 1000yds and receive for 1000yds or he will kill himself. TOP

Everyone has heard of the legendary Guy Kersey (see note 2), famed for his outrageous outbursts, and his temper, which is even shorter than Scott Messom. Guy sold his soul to the devil when he was younger, and is now paying the price. Guys goal for this season is to stay calm. TOP

No one is quite sure what the T is for (see note 3), but Vanden was pursuaded to come out of retirement to rekindle his career for this season. He is an assett to the offence (or defence), and we expect him to score loads of points this year. For himself, he hopes that he can remember the rules after al these years. TOP

Ali plays most offensive positions, and a few defensive ones as well, so we all love him. He is fairly new to the team, so there is not an awful lot we can make fun of yet. He tells me that his goal for this season is to carry a ball beyond the line of scrimmage. TOP

Mark joined us this season from the Loughborough Aces. He seems like a nice bloke, very well adjusted, very normal, quite quiet, pleasantly spoken etc. I am a little bit worried that he won't fit in with the rest of the loud mouthed, unpleasant bunch of w*****s that make up the rest of the team. TOP

Ian has a young child that makes him late for training. And matches. On the plus side, though, he doesn't moan if he gets no catches (see note 4), so we salute him for that. He hopes that this season, he can play a full game without getting injured. TOP

Alex is a big target at over 7 feet tall, and is another of those people that doesn't complain when he doesn't get the ball. Keyshawn Johnson could learn a lot fom him. He can get blocks with ANY part of his body, and hopes that this season, he gets more than seven catches. TOP

Jez is another newbie. He still has a lot to learn, and we still have a lot to learn about him. But he is a tough lad. He rang me up last night to tell me about a bruise on his arm. Ooooh. It must hurt. TOP

Luke is Jez's younger brother, and is also new to the team. We welcome them both, but it will only be a matter of time before I found out something incriminating about them... TOP

Mark is another of those people that has been hiding in retirement for several years. After much pursuading, he finally made it on to the field (well, at least to training). WE hope that this season he keeps turning up. TOP

Imran was just walking past training one day, and we asked him to throw the ball back. After that it has all been downhill. He joined up and broke his finger. End of story. If he stays healthy he can be good. TOP

Zain is a product of the youth team, but despite this he has turned out to be a half decent player (see note 5). Zain has delusions that one day he will catch a pass as tight end, but more likely he will be hit in the head by an errant pass from the quarterback, whilst playing tackle. Zain hopes that this year he can do something good. TOP

Steve is the oldest member of the team, at 52years of age. His experience, physical skills, quickness, ability to read plays, knowledge, and physique make Steve one of the top 25 players on the team. He hopes that this year he can continue to hold without being seen by officials (see note 6). TOP

Mark is a lovely little lad of 14 who plays when he manages to tear himself away from Bob the Builder, and other assorted childrens characters. He hopes that this year he can cut down on all those fumbled snaps, that were clearly his fault. TOP

Known as 'The Panda' because of his ability to eat 300 pounds of vegetation in a single sitting, Chris has been with the Caesars since he was born. He has been coached by Steve Brittle for the last few years, but despite this, he has still turned in to a decent player. He hopes that this season he can fulfil his dream to catch a pass. TOP

Adam is the biggest of the Caesars players, at over 8 feet tall, and 34 stone (see note 7). He is also the youngest at just 12 years old. When he can get himself out of his stance, he is an excellent blocker, another product of the Steve Brittle school of blocking. He hopes that this year he gets the operation to replace both of his legs with bionic implants. TOP

Ian, or Skewey, as he is called, due to the strange positioning of his eyes, ia a mainstay of the defensive front. He is a quiet person, who just wants to be loved. He hopes that this season, he gets noticed by the opposition. TOP

Gareth is someone I don't really know. He just turned up to one of the pre season games, and played. He is a student, currently studying away, but we won't hold that against him. He will be back after the first couple of games. Hooray. TOP

Neil is a genuinely nice person, except when playing football. Often Neil is in fact the only person on the defensive line, and so gets hit a lot by the offence. His only flaw is that he is friends with Marcus Riley. But I guess we all have our cross to bear. TOP

Mark is one of the many players that joined us this season. Never having played before, Mark now wishes that he had never started, and keeps making escuses to leave. But he does not get away that easily. TOP

Gill is our secret weapon - an imported player. All be it from Europe, but he does speak with an accent. Can't say I know a deal about him, but he does have an accent. TOP

A truley scary person, Marcus makes us all feel safer merely by his presence. He has a lot of tatoos, and shouts alot. He mostly shouts 'WHO'S THE DADDY?' but I think this stems from the fact that he is not entirely clear on his own parentage. TOP

Marcus A has rejoined the Caesars after a long period of playing in the US of A. Whilst over there, he weighed in at an amazing 24 stone, at only 5ft 10, this is incredible, even more so, is the fact that he now weighs only 9 stone fully kitted. Alongside Marcus R, the defensive middle is quite strong. Oh yes. TOP

Gary, or Stan, as he is more comonly known, has been with the Caesars since his birth also. He has torn every muscle in his body at some point in time, and has even torn some muscles in other peoples bodies. He has given his all to the team as QB over the last few years, but he now wants to relax a bit by slipping into obscurity as a linebacker. Oh. My. God. TOP

Mr Giles has been one of our most talented players for some years now, which is saying something, cos he is crap. This man has a very busy life, but every now and agin, he comes to training, and walks all over us. Damn his skills!! He supports the Patriots, and has done since at least March 2002. TOP

Mick is affectionately known amongst his team mates as 'China', because of his uncanny ability to break something every time he touches the ball, and even sometimes when he doesn't. So far in 2 seasons of play, I have only ever seen him on the field for 3 plays. TOP

Ewan joined us this season, but struggles to make training as he has not yet fully grasped the concept of the days of the week. We hope he gets it right during the regulart season. We play on SUNDAY's Ewan - that is the day when no post is delivered. TOP

Jay is officially the shortest of all the Caesars players, at only 4 feet 7 inches. Despite this, he is an absolute nutter, and hits as hard as a thing that hits really, really hard. He just needs to have a quick shave and he would be perfect. TOP