Name: Steve Clarke                  

Age: 24

Birthplace: King George Hospital, Ilford

Occupation: Hulkamaniac

Sex: *Insert witty comment*

Nickname: Clarkey

Favourite Team: Arsenal

Favourite Current Player: Big Willy G

Favourite All Time Player: Romario

Favourite Boot Supplier: Any that exploits gook children for 26p a day

Dream Woman: Keira Knightly

Dream Holiday Location: Disneyworld

One Day In the life of: Gary Glitter....is that wrong?

If you had to make love to one man, who would it be: Emmanuel Eboue

Favourite detective series: Hetty Wainthrope Investigates

Favourite contraceptive: Spunking on her face or if worse comes to worst, a coathanger

Favourite alcoholic drink: VK Blue / Dr. Pepper / Fat Frog