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Interview 6 -
11th December 2005 - Darren Salmon |
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Darren, you
recently had showdown talks with manager Bradley Micallef
about what position in the team you'd like to be considered
for - you no longer see yourself as a centre back - can you
elaborate on what was said?
Well
Ollie, first off it wasn't a showdown at all. Brad and I
have been chums for years and it was a friendly chat over
Boiled Bacon and Hash Browns. I just explained to Brad that
I didn't feel like I was giving the team what it deserved at
Centre Half. I don't want to talk too much about the
specifics- that'll stay between Brad, myself and the good
people at the world famous Ivy Restaurant in London.
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Well, you're
an incredibly gifted footballer with deft touch and an
ability to read the game - what is your aim for the
remainder of the season having found yourself on the fringes
of the first team? |
Nice of you to say. I know what I can do
when fit, but if I can't get through the running at training or even
go to training- then I'm not forcing the gaffers hand. So the goal
is, get fit, work on my weaknesses and get the boss thinking.
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More
critical sections of the RCF fanbase don't really seem to
have taken to you in the same way they have the likes of
Maskell, Dawes, and Leiter- do you believe this is because
of lack of exposure on both the pitch and the website? Or do
you have any thoughts on the matter?
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Well, there's no shame in not being involved with that mob. Next.
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George Best.
Romario. Marco Boogers. And now Darren Salmon. All of these
players, while undeniably gifted never really enjoyed the
training aspect of football. You've become renowned for
letting you party-boy lifestyle disrupt your day-to day
training at the club. What do you have to say about this?
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Nothing will make me enjoy training. I love
football, but I have a terrible work ethic. Really bad. But Brads
given me my targets, and it's up to me to meet them.
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Recently
people have been hearing more about the copious amount of
women you and team mate Darren Waithe have been pulling
rather than your performances on the pitch. From a
footballing perspective, does that worry you?
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From a footballing perspective, it doesn't
worry me in the slightest. From a quality of bird perspective I'm
terrified.
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Can you tell
us about Darren Salmon the Party Boy? |
Not much to it mate. I like a drink, I
enjoy the musical stylings of the heartless crew and lethal bizzle
and so help me god I like paying a flat fee on the door of a
nightclub and then receiving complimentary alcohol. If living that
way means I get a party boy tag, so be it.
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Are you
worried you're beginning to garner a reputation as a
troublesome character who likes fast cars, fast women and
fast substances - are there any factors that may have
contributed to you being such an unsettled soul?
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Well, the Punto is nippy and Viper from
Maximuscle certainly puts a spring in ones step. As for fast women.
I'm not sure I really even know what that means.
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There was a
huge story in the papers about a fellow team mate having
"relations" with a member of your family - you are very well
known for being extremely protective towards the female
sector of the Salmons - Have you buried the hatchet with
that particular long term injury victim of the Racing Club
Squad or do you bear a grudge against the hairy Jew?
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No, she's a grown up. It's not an ideal
situation but at least she's not been with any Greeks. She'd be
exiled.
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On a lighter
note, you've recently been asked to be the Godfather to the
child of best friend Daniel Miller. What did you say? And
how important do you consider the role? What tips will you
give the youngster? |
It's not so much Godfather as Jewellery
interceptor.
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Your former
manager at Redbridge United Steve Fowell recently said in
the press that he considered himself to be the "father you
never had". Do you find this odd, as your father is alive
and well? Ramblings of a mad man, or the words of a genius?
How would you describe your relationship with "The Bald
Eagle"? |
Great coach, great man. Nothing like 5
Years of 2 touch indoor football with a furry yellow mitre to learn
about the game.
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Outside of
the game of football, you have interests in music, computer
consoles, wrestling and mounting lilo's. Can you see
yourself carving a career out in any of the aforementioned
once you retire from football? |
Well, it's always been my dream to work in an office. You know-
watching the clock all day, e-mailing my mates to kill the time,
occasionally shifting some paper around for a salary which gives me
absolutely no chance of owning my own home. That's the hope.
And finally, a quick
word-association game..
Darren Salmon -
Misunderstood
Jack Salmon -
Misunderstood,
but with uglier girls.
Derek Helmet -
Articulate
The Shannon -
Pertness
Andi Peters -
Inspirational
The Iraq Conflict -
See Andi
Peters
Little Jen -
However...
Gary Glitter -
Bruuuuuup (firing squad- not advocating
child sex)
The Gaffer -
Strange Music
Far East Sweatshops
- It's all relative isn't it?
Drunken texting -
Jack's
favourite
And finally..
RCF - The Future
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