On The 30th of May 2005. I, Oliver Codpiece, had the privilege of sitting down with the newly appointed RCF boss, Bradley Micallef. I asked him some fairly intriguing and personal questions, to get to the bottom of what makes this guy tick. Here's what happened.

What was the first you thought when you woke up this morning?

Snooze

You're stuck on a desert island. What three things would you want with you?

A speed boat, a tank of petrol and a bag of Werthers Original for the journey

An old lady is about to get hit by a bus. Only you can save her, but if you do, there's a 90% chance you'll get hit and die. Would you save her?

Hell no, who would manage RCF???

A postman delivers your neighbours mail to your house. You find hardcore pornography in the post. Do you throw it away? Put it through the neighbours door? Or keep it for yourself?

Throw it away immediately. I hate everything it stands for. Busty women having sex…. It’s disgusting….

If you had a gun and one bullet, and you could get away with killing anyone in the world, who would it be any why?

The tax man. Why? Because when I look at what I earn before deductions it looks respectable.

If you were invisible for the day, what would you do?

Grope as many women as possible

If you could be any celebrity in the world for a day, who would you be?

Gandhi

You're PM for the day. What is your first law change/act?

I’d bring back capital punishment – If you steal, you lose a hand. If you murder, you get murdered and so on and so forth.

How does Brad Micallef relax?

I like to get up nice and early, pull on my Taylor made tank top and go for a round of golf at my local course. There is nothing more satisfying than hitting a beautiful 7iron on to the green with a touch of flava and splash of backspin. Then putting out for par.

How does Brad Micallef have a good time?

How does Brad Micallef have a good time?? Good Question! If I'm out with the missus, I like to go to a nice restaurant, have a delightful meal cooked by a celebrity chef and a tasty bottle of Rioja - then take in a west end show - The Lion King perhaps...

If I'm out with the boys....... It's got to be a few liveners in the Fairlop Oak followed by "All Inc." at the Shannon Centre in Seven Kings.

It's the 90th minute of the cup final and it's 0-0. You're the regular penalty taker, and you've missed the last 2 penalties you've taken. You don't feel you've had a good game. But do you take this penalty?

My strength of character would prompt me to step up to the plate. I also wouldn't want to burden my younger team mates with the huge responsibility - plus, it's all about the glory!

It's the 90th minute of the cup final and its 0-0. Your opposing forward has burst through the defence and is twenty yards out. You can't get to the ball, but you can take the man out. Do you?

Hack him down - Trying to injure him in the process.

Where do you see this club in one year's time?

A division above the one we're in now with a cup winner's medal in the
cabinet.

What do you hope to achieve in the first season?

Like I say

Is the glass half empty, or half full?

Always half full. I have no respect for the half empty merchants

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

When people said RCF would never happen. Where are they now?

What was the last thing that made you cry?

Leaving my mum and dad in France. Emotional times

And finally, what is the meaning of life?

Racing Club Fantana.

Brad, I'd like to end the interview with a word association games. Just say the first thing that pops into your head.

-Football - Rochembach

-The Royal Family - Wealthy

-Saddam Hussein - Misunderstood

-Gypsies - Tarmac

-Charlotte Church - Don't get me wrong

-The Shannon - Fulfilment

-Tony Blair - Name that tune

-Work - Bunce

-Terrence Brown - Arsehole

-George Bush - Likeable

-Paul Gascoigne - Overrated

-The doubters - Cowards

-Racing Club Fantana - Life

Well, there you have it. Thank you very much Bradley Micallef. Good luck for the forthcoming season.

It's been a pleasure Oliver, anytime.