Hello once again Fantanamaniacs, and welcome to the latest edition of
Codpiece Comments, with me, Oliver "The Codfather" Codpiece. We've got a
bumper report this week so let's get straight into the action...

- After picking up a horrible injury in the 3-2 defeat to May & Bakers,
Dave Sack was upbeat. Despite an original prognosis of being out for 6
weeks, further scans of his foot revealed he could be back within 2-3 weeks.

- I am hearing from various sources that Racing midfielder, Steve
Clarke, is in talks with Ronseal about a possible sponsorship deal. I
can confirm talks are ongoing.

- RCF.co.uk is on the verge of something special, which would take it to
the next level of football websites. Meetings are taking place as we
speak, and at the moment everything is very hush-hush. More on this very
exciting news as it happens.

- A lot of heated words were thrown about in the dressing room after the
result on Sunday. None stronger from the manager himself, disgusted in
his teams, and his own performance. Micallef is becoming renowned on the
Sunday league circuit for his "blowdryer" rants. One senior player said
"For a few moments, he totally lost it. It was frightening to say the least"

- A major incident was luckily avoided on Sunday in the changing room
after the match. Micallef, during his rant, lashed out with his foot and
kicked an object which struck RCF star striker James Spicer just above
the right eye. Luckily for all parties involved, the object in question
was Captain Chris Maskell's jock strap, and not anything more sinister.
An unnecessarily naked Chris Maskell stepped in to make sure no trouble
flared up, and also retrieved his piss smelling accessory.

- Such an enigma and so eccentric. Yes, we're talking about Darren
Salmon.  Is he returning to the RCF fold? Watch this space!

- Speaking of Darren Salmon, I got a lot of criticism from devout M-Unit
followers last week, after I claimed that The Moolah Cru were the
dominant faction in the world of drinking. Well, M-Unit founder, Darren
Salmon was found last week in Faces Nightclub at 10:17 pm, fast asleep
against the wall (see below). Get him a shot of Ovaltine! 

- Russell Leiter. The guy has it all. Skill, speed, and learning
difficulties. A real prospect!

- Are Dave Day and Peter Pedomonou able to fill the boots of the
prolific James Spicer over the next fortnight? While some have their
doubts about Day's ability, I honestly believe he could be the next Carl Leaburn.

And finally...

-It appears RCF manager Bradley Micallef has been having some odour
issues as of late. He was spotted rushing into a convenience store
during lunchtime one day last week desperately searching for some Lynx
Africa. An unnamed source said "It was awful. I had to sit next to him
eating my ham omelette, gagging at the smell". In an attempt to cover up
his putrid aroma Micallef wore a thick coat to try and keep the smell
in. This backfired horribly with sweat adding to the vile fumes exuding
from his body.

Until next time.....