Le Maske is back, ready willing and able, to tear up a Football Pitch near you!!

Hello, and welcome to another action packed post-festive, new year edition of Captains Corner, with me, Captain Maske.  I've got lots to share with regards to yuletide shenanigans of the team, shady league tables, and I'll be reminding you of a Maske Christmas cracker from days gone by.

I'll start off where I left you last.  Having been doubtful to play before Christmas, I was declared fit for our cup quarter final clash with North Romford, which was unfortunately called off due to bad weather.  A fixture was hastily arranged to accommodate my fitness needs, and I partnered Dizzy in midfield for Central Park minnows Toiletbowl FC. 

We dominated the largely lacklustre 4-3 victory. Memorable moments included Dizzy showing some Afterburner style pace before blazing a shot a quarter of a mile wide from 6 yards. I also sent their right back sprawling five yards across the turf.  He tried to shoulder check me, and could have cracked my ribs, but he was tragically unarmed. I sent him packing with a display of brute Whey Protein charged power, the likes of which has not seen since Brock Lesnar left the WWE.

Our Christmas party was next up, and the Red Dragon in Gants Hill could not have been prepared for the RCF entourage invasion.  The kitchen grossly underestimated the stock of Chicken Lionheads and Mussels that would be consumed by Mr Field and myself, and as such had to dish out 3 extra peking ducks to keep us quiet.  They tried in vain to do the same with the rest of the team, but as we celebrated 21 year old Dave Sack's 17th birthday, the message from the boss to his staff was a clear one,

We proceeded to Faces night club in Hoddesden, and by this point the team was in a buoyant mood to say the least.  After about 12 minutes in the club, Double Pack and Prati Junior had consumed 4 Doctor Peppers,  the dance floor was invaded and the carnival atmosphere kicked in.  Hertfordshire's revellers were clearly not used to seeing their RCF hero's in person, and as always we were delighted to accommodate their requests for signatures and the like.  One lucky young Jermain Defoe look-alike managed a kiss from her hero,  RCF full-back Chris Tilbury. 

The DJ was putting in an impressive performance on the wheels of Steel, and he was ecstatic when the RCF players stood by the booth providing an accompaniment to his performance.  The Party Boy even got the Trumpet out at one point.

As always the party did not end when the lights came on, and as the team conga'd out of the club, and sang in the streets, a lifetime ban was bestowed upon everyone.  To their credit, the boys didn't let this dampen their spirits, and proceeded with as fine a display of straggling as you are likely to see.

Christmas Eve, and New year party stories have been on the short side this year.  Fun was had by all, but I can't recall a great deal of events.  I know that the single boys in the team were all "tingsing".

In response to the scandalous stories that I was involved in a threesome after the Star Racing Christmas do, I would like to say that legal proceedings have commenced to clear my name.

An investigation has been put into the league regarding May & Bakers league table records.  Their results omit a game, and it seems that someone has given them a phantom 4-0 victory in the league.  If anyone can comment on how this result got there, or tell me who they played, please email madeupresults@shake&baker.co.uk.

I'll be sure to report soon on tonight's big Power League 7 a-Side match at Fairlop.  It's a battle of the titans, as Alnwick (Captain Maske's Saturday team), take on  Essex Boys, who have RCF stars James Spicer, Dave Sack, and The Prati brothers in their line-up.  I'm disappointed to be missing out through a virus , but I'm sure it will be a fiery encounter, with no love lost.  Alnwick will start the game as 4-6 favourites, but the Essex Boys are sure to be up for a surprise.

I'm really looking forward to the upcoming games, as it's been a while since we had a run of fixtures. The boys have begun training for them, and I'm sure we'll go in, knowing that we need wins to maintain a championship challenge.  Congratulations to Ladzio, who have made the divisional cup final, and we'll be looking to join them in the fixture, starting with our QF tie with North Romford.

I haven't had time to answer many questions this month, due to the amount of charity work that the club has been doing in the local community, so I'll leave you now with another of Maske's Magic Moments.

Number 4
Energy FC 5 Vs Stick & Weasel 2
Hackney Marshes December1998
My love affair with Energy FC ignited the first time I stepped onto the training ground.  The football was blistering at times, and the heart in the team could only be beaten if total team consumed substances from the previous evening was in excess of 12 grams.  In this early league encounter against the Stick and Weasel pub, I bagged the teams' first ever competitive Hat Trick, with the first goal coming just 5 minutes in. 

Banstead 1st teamer Mark "striker" Hykin rolled a ball across my path way, some 30 yards from goal, and whilst many players would have used the space to take a touch, I decided to crack it first time.   The ball sat up nicely, and as it left my boot and went through the legs of the oncoming defender, there was only one place it was heading.  It flew into the top corner of the onion bag like the Field Family at a weekday Harvester earlybird. 

At 17, I was continuing to surprise my Energy teammates, and I thank them for inspiring me to be creative on the football pitch. 

What a goal, what a day at the Marshes.

Thats all for another session with Captain Maske.

Regards,

Le Maske
El Capitan