With the Triangle being renovated as a training venue for the London Olympics, theSTEELMEN.com has learned that Corby itself had put a bid in for the Olympics? Here is a section of their bid that was leaked from the IOC...
OPENING CEREMONY
The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown into the arena by a
native of the Lincoln area of the town, wearing the traditional costume of
Rangers\Celtic shirt and adidas tracksuit bottoms.
THE EVENTS
In previous Olympics Corby's competitors have not been particularly successful.
In order to redress the balance some of the events have been altered slightly to
the advantage of the local athletes:
100 METRES SPRINT
Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and a microwave oven (one under
each arm) and on the sound of a starting pistol a police dog will be released 10
metres behind the athletes.
110 METRES HURDLES
As above but with added obstacles, ie car bonnets, hedges, gardens, fences,
walls etc.
HAMMER
The competitors will be allowed to make a choice of hammer, (Claw, Sledge etc).
The winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to
members of the public within their allotted time.
WEIGHTLIFTING
From a standing position competitors will have various electronic goods placed
in their arms. In order to complete a lift these must then be taken through the
shop door and placed in a mate's van.
FENCING
Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen jewellery as possible within
five minutes.
SHOOTING
A series of targets will be set up to establish the competitor's ability over a
range of disciplines The targets to be as follows: 1 - A Moving Police Van 2 - A
Post Office Clerk 3 - A Bank Teller or Securicor Driver
BOXING
Entry to be restricted to husband and wife teams and will take place on every
Friday and Saturday night of the games. The husband will be given 15 pints of
lager in the Pluto and the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he
gets home. The bout will then commence.
CYCLING TIME TRIALS
Competitors will be asked to break into Tresham College bike shed and take an
expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the surrounding villages
- Against the clock.
CYCLING PURSUIT
As above however this time the break in must occur at Corby Police Station and
must be witnessed by an officer.
TIME TRIAL
The competitor who can waste the most of the court's valuable time before being
found guilty will be adjudged the winner.
MODERN PENTATHLON
Amended to include mugging, breaking & entering, flashing, joyriding and arson.
THE MARATHON
A safe route has yet to be decided, but the competitors will be issued with
sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up dog shit, crisp packets and used
hypodermic syringes on their way round.
MEN'S 50Km WALK
For safety reasons this event has been cancelled.
RELAY
Each of four competitors to remove an appliance of their choice from a house in
Weldon and get it back to Corby using at least four different stolen cars.
ARCHERY
Each competitor will be given three needles, the winner will be the person who
gets nearest to three different main veins in their own body.
DISCUS
Will be decided by which contestant can get a hubcap off a car and throw it to
his mate the fastest. In addition the following 'exhibition events' designed at
promoting the local culture will be introduced.
GRAFFITI
To be decided on who can spray the most obscenities on a neighbour's wall in
five minutes - NB In order not to disadvantage local competitors marks will not
be deducted for misspelling.
BASEBALL
Each competitor to be given a stainless steel baseball bat. Last person standing
wins.
CLOSING CEREMONY
In an attempt to capture the timeless beauty of Corby, competitors from every
nation will be chased across West Glebe by knife wielding scallies.