There were a bit of a rumpus at th'end of our street,
it were summat t' do wi' the drains.
There were one 'ell of a stink, an' jus' like you'd think,
made a right flamin' mess when it rained.
So t' council bloke come, in 'is suit with 'is pen,
while we all stood an' watched as yer would.
'E prodded the grid with a bit of a stick.
"It's blocked," 'e said lookin' right smug.
Flo said. "We know it's blocked! That's why you were phoned."
"Well yer were right then," 'e said with a grin.
"I'll put yer on t' list for a fortnight t'day,
that's unless there's nowt else that comes in."
Now,yer could tell t' lad were shocked, when Flo 'oisted 'er frock,
rolled 'er sleeves up, an' took off 'er 'at.
She said. "A fortnight t'day? There's no bloody way,
get it sorted yer pompous great prat."
'E sez. "What's the big rush?" An' she give 'im a push,
she said. "Our Jenny won't settle in bed."
She said. "Jus' look at 'er 'ere, she's right close t' tears."
"A fortnight t'day," the bloke said.
Well, we all took a step back, jus' t' give 'er some slack,
cos she'd got the poor bloke by the throat.
'E said. "We'll do it t'day, in fact right away,
I - I -- I were just 'avin' a bit of a joke."
She said, "Well, roll up yer sleeves an' get down on yer knees,
c'mon then stop wastin' me time."
She grabbed 'old of 'is pen, she said. "I'm countin' t' ten,
then I'll shove it where t' Sun doesn't shine."
Well, t' poor bloody bloke, 'e jus' took off 'is coat,
an' shoved 'is arm down th'inside o' th'ole.
Scoopin' out muck, an' all kinds o' yuck,
'e said. "I wish I were back on the dole."
Now, 'e'd been scoopin' an' scrattin' about for an 'our,
when 'e froze. "Oh 'eck," the bloke said.
"I've got summat 'ere, that feels a bit queer,
it's all furry with legs an' an 'ead."
'E were about to explain that the thing in the drain,
well, 'appen it could be a rat.
But 'e saw Flo an' young Jen, an' caught a glimpse of the pen,
an' thought. "Bugger it." An' left it at that.
Flo said. "Don't be s' mard, yer long streak o' lard,
ger it out cos that's 'appen the prob."
So 'e took a deep breath, grabbed it firm round the neck,
shut 'is eyes an' give it a lob.
It flew over us 'eads, an' Jenny shouts. "Ted!"
As it landed, with a soggy great plop.
There were a sort of a whoosh, as the backlog cut loose,
soakin' t' bloke from 'is 'ead to 'is socks.
Now there's all sorts o' things that lurk in a drain,
an' poor bloke 'ad copped for the lot.
Flo said. "Thanks very much for getting' Teddy back out,
'ere clean yerself up wi' this mop."
The bloke sez. "Yer what?" As 'e took 'old o' the mop,
Flo said. "I've told Jenny not t' do it again.
She's t' keep Ted on the bed, I've warned 'er," she said,
"not t' shove the thing back down the drain."
