ORBzine - UK TV Review: "Andromeda" April 2001

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 1] The Widening Gyre
Shown October 2001 [Monday]

We start up with a quick recap of our heroes' fates, then the intro credits. The original, inspiring voice-over and music have been replaced with a lacklustre [almost cheezy] version. Why the hell they did this, there can be no logical explanation. It can only be hoped that the rest of the Season doesn't deteriorate too.

Rommie and Trance kick ass, trying to save their men. Well, THE men. Apparently they had huge battle-bots all along, they just didn't use them because there were no pitched battles planet-side.

The ending sets up a minor story arc for the rest of the Season. How ironic that the Commonwealth was destroyed because it made a peace treaty with the Magog, and must now be revived to DEFEAT the Magog!

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 2] Exit Strategies
Shown October 2001 [Monday]

Kunt, Bekah, Tyr and BEM are on the Maru. They get chased by Nietzchein slavers, who have a bone to pick with Tyr, and crash-land on an ice-world. BEM has been fasting in penance for the Magog he killed last episode, and now he must find something to hunt and kill ...

Meanwhile, Trance, Rommie and Harper are trying to repair the Andromeda. Harper is in an extremely agitated state, and the two babes have to deal with the aftermath of the previous episode.

The director is TJ Scott, a veteran of Sorbo's show Hercules.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 3] A Heart For Falsehood Framed
Shown October 2001 [Monday]

Bekka gets ripped off by a thief, and bumps into a macho cop. They have chemistry together, but he's less than trustworthy. Bekka, Harper and Trance are planning to heist a Bug-Queen's gem from the Free Trader who illegally obtained it.

Kunt and Rommie try to keep peace negotiations going between the Free Trader and the Bug-Queen's people.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 4] As Pitiless As The Sun
Shown October 2001 [Monday]

Andromeda is visited by some Star Trek-type nonhumans, with a little bit of putty on their foreheads. The nonhumans come from a backwater world, where their trade ships are being attacked by a battleship of unknown origin. However, Kunt thinks that his new allies are untrustworthy.

Trance visits the allies' homeworld. She gets interrogated by William B. Davis [ X-Files ], who wants to know about her species. In the process, we learn that Trance has been hiding things from her pals. Of note, Davis talks like an Ulsterman, betraying his Canadian origins.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 5] Last Call At The Broken Hammer
Shown October 2001 [Monday]

Kunt and his team turn up at a desert tavern, looking for a female politician who tried to do what he is doing: to create a new Federation. However, the politician messed up and now a race of lizard-men are after her. The crew and the bar-room folks get besieged by the angry lizard folk.

For some reason Harper and Rommie are both absent from the episode. This is explained by them staying aboard Andromeda to continue repairs, although unusually there is no b-plot.

Typical of this kind of television battle, none of the bad guys surrenders or is taken prisoner. The good guys only inflict wounds that are instantly fatal. Also, strangely for the self-richeous Kunt, he allows a murderer to go free and unpunished!

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 6] All Too Human
Shown 12th November 2001 [Monday]

Andromeda tries to save a planet of AIs from a planet of humans who are collaborating with the Magog. We get a brief space battle, mostly on sensor screen readouts, while the core of the episode is an examination of the characters' humanity.

BEM, Tyr and Harper crash-land, and as life support fades Tyr wants to put Harper out of his misery. Not only did Harper overdose on his medication, he also neglected to repair the EVA suits. Unlike Star Trek, this episode allows us to see the characters in a very negative [and very human] light.

Rommie [ Lexa Doig. ], clad in a black trench-coat and looking sexier than ever, goes undercover on the human planet. She makes contact with a starship designer [Bruce Harwood, famous as one of the Lone Gunmen in X-Files ]. The Security Agent on her tail is Roger R. Cross, the black guy from First Wave .

This episode is a wonderful pastiche of The Matrix , directed by T.J. Scott [a veteran of Xena, Cleopatra 2525, Mutant X ]. Ms Doig is far sexier than Carrie Anne Moss was in the movie, and it's nice to see the reverse of an AI hacker being chased by human Agents.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 7] Una Salus Victus
Shown 19th November 2001 [Monday]

Rev BEM sends an audio message to the Andromeda. He is on a planet where the population have fallen victim to a plague. Andromeda must escort a convoy of aid ships to the planet, through hostile Nietzchein territory, or the planet's population will die.

Kunt and Tyr are on the Nietzchein's base-world. Their plan is to infiltrate the enemy fortress and gain control of the orbital defence platforms. However, the Nietzcheins know they are there - and they are after Tyr because of what he stole from them.

One of the convoy ships goes missing, so Bekkah takes the Maru and goes to look for it. She winds up going head to head with a female Nietzchein fighter jock. They start to bond, but at the end of the day they must face each other as enemies.

Harper is left in charge of the Andromeda, crewed by Rommie and Trance.

The ending shows just how twisted and self-richeous Kunt has become. He is willing to use blackmail on a grand scale in order to get what he wants. Obviously he has forgotten the most important lesson he should have learned: the Confederacy can only exist if the members are willing.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 8] Home Fires
Shown 15th May 2002 [Wednesday]

Andromeda is practising military manoeuvers with the fish-people from Season One. Kunt receives a message from the past, from his wife [ Sam Sorbo ]. Andromeda is then invited to visit the last Confederate planet, colonised by the survivors of Kunt's original crew and now ruled by Francoise Yip .

The world's population are split between those who want to join Kunt's new Confederacy, and the Isolationists who want to hide from the Magog. The leader of the isolationists is the reincarnation of Kunt's Nietzschein former best buddy and second-in-command. Yes, there are lots of flashbacks to the pilot episode, and Kunt gets the chance to sort out his issues. Also, the reincarnation theme is foreshadowing of the Drago Manzetti plot, part of the show's long-term story arc.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 9] Into the Labyrinth
Shown 22nd May 2002 [Wednesday]

Andromeda plays host to a diplomatic get-together for all the member-worlds of the new Confederacy. It is gatecrashed by Neitzchein Archduke Charlemagne Bolivar [James Marsters - Buffy the Vampire Slayer ].

Meanwhile, Harper is approached by a femme fatale. She is after the electronic archive he obtained in the episode Harper 2.0, and she has phase technology so she can remove his magog ...

Rommie spends most of her time acting jealous over the male crewmembers' success with women. Trance helps Harper, but she has her own agenda. We get yet more hints about her past ... And Rev Bem? He gets a mention, but does not appear.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 10] The Prince
Shown 29th May 2002 [Wednesday]

The ship is so powerful that apparently it can depopulate an entire M-Class planet in a few minutes. Wow, what lovely peaceful people the Confederacy were. It makes you wonder why they even went to the bother of inventing Nova Bombs. I mean, why destroy an entire solar system when you can merely commit genocide in five minutes, then keep the entire system and all its assets for yourself?

Tyr schemes very well. Kunt, while pretending to be a nice guy, is just waiting for a chance to be vicious. Bekka pops up briefly at the start, Trance does some med-bay work, but Harper and Bem are nowhere in sight.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 11] Bunker Hill
Shown 5th June 2002 [Wednesday]

Charlemagne's wife decides to start a war with the Drago-Kazov, and insists Kunt and his allies take part in it.

Harper gets a message from his cousin Brendan, back home in Boston, Earth. Brendan wants Harper to help him start a rebellion against the Drago-Kazov, who are enslaving Earth's population. Harper and Rommie head along to see what they can do. The battle itself consists mostly of extras in rags running around a dark set.

There are references to the American Revolution. However, there also seems to be a darker political influence at work. For example, one villain is named Cuchullain, while the so-called heroes are named Brendan and Seamas Harper. Obviously, such a pro-terrorism plot should never have been considered after 11th September 2001.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 12] Oruboros
Shown 12th June 2002 [Wednesday]

This episode marks the end of Robert Hewitt Wolfe's reign on the show - a show which he created! It is a jarring mis-match of both excellence and cheese.

The script was written by Wolfe himself. Harper's Magog parasites have grown immune to the medicine, so they must be removed immediately. Harper has designed a device to do this - a tesseract generaator based on the ones used by the villains of a previous episode. He also calls up a couple of alien scientists, recurring characters, to help him do the deed. Unfortunately the machine causes severe disruptions of the space-time continuum!

The concept has been used in most other SciFi TV shows, and has a couple of obvious benefits. Firstly it allows the re-use of lots of old costumes, because one-off aliens and suchlike can be re-used. Secondly, it allows foreshadowing of the plot arc! Yes, it appears that Wolfe intended this episode as his equivalent of "Babylon Squared". However, Sorbo The Usurper used it as an excuse to make lots of changes. No, he didn't want to make the changes slowly, over an arc. He gets them over in one episode, so he can avoid anything that makes people think.

The most obvious changes are in the characters themselves. The episode starts with Rev Bem leaving. The character hasn't appeared in the last ten or so episodes, because the actor had severe allergic reactions to his make-up, so his leaving was inevitable. However, the other changes are both gratuitous and disturbing. For no apparent reason the android Rommie now has an extremely ugly blue wig. Also, Trance Gemini undergoes certain drastic changes. Losing her tail was bad enough - now she becomes a cliched and conventional character.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 13] Lava And Bullets
Shown 19th June 2002 [Wednesday]

This is the first real post-Wolfe episode, complete with the new credits sequence. The episode has a cheesy title, and a pretty cheesy plot too.

Dylan, pursued by some alien mercenaries, makes his getaway on a shuttle piloted by a blonde babe. The usual odd couple conversations and incidents occur. Tyr and Rommie try to track Dylan down, while Trance tries to bond with Harper.

If this is what the show will be like from now on, it is certainly not an improvement. The dialogue is terrible - used to provide character background rather than actual character development. Trance may have Xena 's costume, but Rommie has the wire-fu combat moves.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 14] Be All My Sins Remembered
Shown 26th June 2002 [Wednesday]

Bekka gets word that her old boyfriend [Costas Mandylor - Players], has died. She takes the Maru and goes to identify the body and claim her inheritance. Dylan and Harper come along for company. We get to see Bekka's ex through a series of flashbacks.

This may have been written by long-time show scribe Ethlie Ann Varie, but the signs of post-Wolfeism are abundant. The introduction sees Bekka and Tyr let their underlying sexual tension become disgustingly blatant. One of the guest-stars is a babe who walks about in an incredibly slutty outfit, complete with cleavage for the camera to peer down into. There's a girl-fight, though they wasted the opportunity to show clothing getting ripped off. The climax involves lots of wire-fu, with Hercules - err, Kunt - going hand-to-hand with a cyborg.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 15] Dance of the Mayflies
Shown 23-Feb-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 16] In Heaven Now Are Three
Shown 02-Mar-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 17] The Things We Cannot Change
Shown 13-Apr-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 18] The Fair Unknown
Shown 20-Apr-2002

The Andromeda crew must help a Confederacy Admiral. They also get some helpers to do skut-work on the ship.

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 19] Belly of the Beast
Shown 27-Apr-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 20] The Knight, Death, and the Devil
Shown 04-May-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 21] Immaculate Perception
Shown 11-May-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode 22] The Tunnel at the End of the Light
Shown 18-May-2002

Andromeda [Season 2, Episode ]
Shown

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