ORBzine UK TV Roundup September 2000

First Week, September The Visitor [Season 1, Episode 6] The Black Box MacArthur joins a UFO Cult. Xena [Season 5, Episode 22 - finale] Motherhood This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Buffy The Vampire Slayer [Season 3, Episode 19] Choices This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Babylon 5: Crusade [Season 1, Episode 9] Racing The Night This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Codename: Eternity [Season 1, Episode 16] Sold Out For A Song This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 5] The Essense This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Farscape [Season 2, Episode 9] Out of Their Minds This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Star Trek: The Original Series [Season 1, Episode 9] Miri This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . 3rd Rock From The Sun [Season 4] Sally, Harry and Tommy are almost killed by a falling chandelier, and this brush with death makes them appreciate life all the more. The Professor, OTOH, misses this and spends the entire episode trying to have a near-death experience. Second Week, September The Visitor [Season 1, Episode 7] Teufelsnacht McArthur tries to retrieve 2 alien crystals from a scientist and his estranged anti-war protester GF, whom he blames for blowing up his lab in 1970. Yes, the Littlest Hobo plot this week is to re-unite the lovers. Blegh! Weiss is on their trail too - but the FBI always get there ahead of him. The alien space-ship detected in a previous episode is now closing on Earth. Veiss uses the military satellite that was put in orbit several episodes back. Star Trek: Deep Space 9 [Season 3, Episode 12] Past Tense: Part II This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Roswell High [Season 1, Episode 1] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Buffy [Season 3, Episode 20] Prom Night This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . French & Saunders Xmas Special 1999 The Phantom Millenium Toby-Jugs Kenobi and Pork Dim Sum [Saunders - with a strong Ulster accent] arrive aboard the Trade ship. After the jokes about the film's complex plot, we get to see Darth Sidious: John Inman! Dark Knight [Season 1] Charmed [Season 1] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Hercules [Season 4, Episode 3] Regrets ... I've had a few Young Herc was a cadet at a military school. The drill-master was a centaur who looks a bit like Lani Tupu [Kreiss in Farscape]. . . Star Trek: Voyager [Season 5, Episode 26 - Finale] Equinox, Part I This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Babylon 5: Crusade [Season 1, Episode 10] The Memory of War This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Codename: Eternity [Season 1, Episode 17] All The News This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 6] Noob Saibad Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 7] Debt of the Dragon This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Stargate SG-1 [Season 2, Episode 1] Serpent's Lair This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Farscape [Season 2, Episode 11] Look At The Princess Part I: A Kiss Is but A Kiss This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Third Week, September Tales from the Crypt [Season , Episode] This episode was made way back in 1989. A fortune-hunter marries a young-looking Amanda Plummer [ Freejack ], and they head off on their honeymoon. They end up in a deserted mansion with a giant axe hanging from the wall. Six Million Dollar Man, The [Season 3, Episode 17-8] The Mystery of Bigfoot Part I & II Lee Majors plays Steve Austin, an astronaut who crashed and was rebuilt as a cyborg. The cost to the US Government was USD 6 million, a paltry sum to a modern government, hence the title. The cyborg is used as a Secret Agent by a fictional US government agent, and sent on missions that require his special skills. This story was written and directed by Kenneth Johnson, creator of V and Alien Nation. In part 1 of this story, Austin helps plant seismic sensors in the Californian mountains. Austin comes face to face with Bigfoot [Andre the Giant - Princess Bride]. It turns out that the creature is not what it appears; it is controlled by shadowy figures in a darkened control room. In the second part of the story, Austin meets Stephanie Powers in a bright blue jumpsuit with plunging neckline and huge flared ankles. Yes, the skintight lycra worn in Buck Rogers and the 25th Century was actually a sartorial improvement! Ms Powers is an alien scientist - well, she is an ET but she looks human. Not even the plasticine nose that Trek guest-stars have, never mind the lizard make-up they used in V. This story has some ludicrous pseudo-science and plot holes. Austin runs at high speed, although only one of his legs is bionic. There is an earth tremor, and the roof starts to collapse. Austin holds up the roof, even though only his arm and leg are bionic. The Aliens' tech is also illogical. They have developed something called a TLC [Time-Line Controller], which allows time to pass very quickly or very slowly. The colonists have been there 250 Earth years, but aged only 2 years. They will be picked up in 3 years time - but 3 Earth years or when they have AGED 3 years? Austin's boss discovers that there is going to be a massive earthquake along the West Coast's San Angelo fault. Hmm - the writers chose to use a fictionalised name for the San Andreas? So what do they use to ease the tension in the faultline? Not seawater, not even dynamite - no, they decide to use a 50 megaton nuke! Babylon 5 [Season 5, Episode 20 - Penultimate Episode] Objects at Rest This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Star Trek: Voyager [Season 3, Episode 4] The Swarm This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Quantum Leap [Season 4, Episode 20] The Curse of Ptah-Hotep This is one of the few episodes set outside the borders of the USA. This time Sam is a 1957 archaeologist at a site deep in the Egyptian desert. The cast includes a token babe, and a French actor who has worked for the BBC. . The Net [Season 1, Episode] This is the Sandra Bullock TV series but without Sandra Bullock. Her character, Angela Bennett, is now played by a younger look-alike unknown. Angela is on the run from Trelawney [Joseph Bottoms], hatchet-man for the villain. This episode both Angela and Trelawney are after a teenage girl in Vancouver. The girl has a disk that can help defeat Trelawney's employers ... The Net [Season 1, Episode] Trelawney's boss is flooding the Underworld with cheap synthetic heroin. Angela teams up with a guy suspected of being a vigilante who is killing off the street-level drug-dealers. Angela is offered a job in a US Government Agency [FBI/NSA affiliated] aimed at cracking down on cyber-crime. But will Trelawney finish her off before she gets a happy ending? Babylon 5 [Season 5, Episode 21 - Finale] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Angel [Season 1, Episode 1] City Of ... Yes, Angel is now on British TV - but Channel 4, for some strange reason. Buffy is one of BBC2's most popular shows, yet not only do they cancel it when some sports game is shown: now they let the spin-off show go to a different channel! The end result? Unlike Satellite TV, which showed the 2 series in tandem, we are now going to be given the out-of-sequence on Terrestrial TV. This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Roswell High [Season 1, Episode 2] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . The Hunger This is the Scott Brothers' TV series, a bunch of short films on the theme of Horror. Terence Stamp [ Star Wars 1: Phantom Menace ] does the introduction. This one is set in Boston, USA. A young woman gets a job with a security firm, and gets posted to a deserted demolition site. She discovers that there are worse things lurking in the shadows than the drunks and hobos she expected. Lost In Space [Season 1, Episode 22] The Challenge This is probably Season One for a couple of reasons, including the fact it is B&W. Also, the cast are noticeably younger than they were in the full-colour seasons. Will Robinson [Billy Mumy - Babylon 5] has to duel the young Kurt Russell [who grew up to be in films like Big Trouble in Little China]. Russell's father is played by Michael Ansara, a veteran of series as diverse as Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and Babylon 5! Star Trek: Voyager [Season 2, episode 2] Initiations This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Babylon 5: Crusade [Season 1, Episode 11] The Needs of Earth This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Codename: Eternity [Season 1, Episode 18] Laura's Story This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 8] Undying dream Mortal Kombat: Conquest [Season 1, Episode 9] Quan Chi This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Stargate SG-1 [Season 2, Episode 2] In the Line of Duty This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Farscape [Season 2, Episode 12] Look At The Princess Part II: "I Do, I Think" This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Red Dwarf [Season 4, Episode 1] Camille This episode was originally broadcast on St Valentine's day. The scanners detect a crashed ship, with one [female] survivor. Each of the main cast perceives her as their ideal woman - in other words, they all see her as someone different. Fourth Week, September Xena [Season 4, Episode 1] Adventures in the Sin Trade, Part 1 This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Cleopatra 2525 [Season 1] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Dark Knight [Season 1] The evil Mage develops a way of enslaving minds by using enchanted jewels. Stargate SG-1 [Season 2, Episode 3] Prisoners This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Farscape [Season 2, Episode 13] Look At The Princess Part III: The Maltese Crichton This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . V: The Final Battle [Season 1] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . Six Million Dollar Man, The [Season 4, Episode 1] The Return of Bigfoot Part I & II Like the original Bigfoot episodes, this was written by Kenneth Johnston. Although Colonel Steve Austin [Lee Majors] is the star of the show, he is only a guest-star in the second episode! The reason is, it was a cross-over with Bionic Woman. In the first episode, Austin has another encounter with the Sasquatch robot - this time it looks more like Richard Kiel than Andre the Giant. He was actually played here by Addams Family TV actor Ted Cassidy. The robot is now working for Colony rebels, led by John Saxon [Planet Earth]. The nuclear power pack in Austin's legs bursts and he starts to die of radiation poisoning. His only hope is if his girlfriend, Jamie, can contact the alien colonists [including her rival love-interest Stephanie Powers ] and retrieve the aliens' super-drug. Yes, this seems to be a sort of Pilot episode for the spin-off show, Bionic Woman. Jamie is attacked by Sasquatch, but rescued by one of the Colony women. She agrees to defeat Saxon's rebels in exchange for a sample of the drug - unknowing that Ms Powers has radiation poisoning too, and there is only enough drug for one of them. Saxon's men are digging a new geothermal vent at a weak point in the Earth's crust, in a Mexican volcano. However, this activates an erruption - which [as in the first story] threatens devastation on the entire Pacific coast. SeaQuest DSV [Season 1, Episode 11] The Regulator This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Star Trek: Deep Space 9 [Season 3, Episode 15] Destiny This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Swamp Thing Swamp Thing and his arch-enemy Arcane must team up to defeat a deadly swamp gas, before it poisons everyone. Arcane is no longer Louis Jordan - he's now a 30-ish upper-class englishman with shoulder-length hair. This was filmed back in 1991, and the token babe is a young-looking Kari Wuhrer! . The Crow: Stairway to Heaven [Season 1, Episode ] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Roswell High [Season 1, Episode 4] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Red Dwarf [Season 4, Episode 3] Justice The Dwarfies have to worry about a cryogenics pod they pull in. It either contains a beautiful woman or a deranged sociopathic cyborg. The guys reach a prison world, and when they try to enter Rimmer gets arrested and sentanced for mass murder. . Xena [Season 4, Episode 2] Adventures in the Sin Trade, Part II This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . The Hunger Tonight we get a double-bill. In the first, David Bowie plays an artist with a fascination with death. The second is reminscent of the Crow. It is set in an apartment building where a sickle-wielding serial killer is wiping out the sexually active occupants. This is a good opportunity to insert some female full-frontal nudity. The only hope is the owner and his freakish homosexual flatmate. Babylon 5 [Season 4, Episode 1] The Hour of the Wolf Babylon 5 [Season 4, Episode 2] Whatever Happened to Mr Garibaldi? This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . Star Trek: Voyager [Season 2, Episode 7] Parturition [directed by Jonathan Frakes] This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Mercy Point [Season 1] Joe Morton [ Terminator 2 ] stars as head of surgery on a hospital space-station. This is more than the average hospital drama - this show tries to be sci-fi. The producers include Brent V. Friedman [ Dark Skies] We get that genre cliche, the typical debate over medical ethics. This episode it's the inter-species blood transfusion one. That's about as SF as the show gets. Timecop [Season 1] Rocket Science This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Fist of the North Star Yes, this Manga trash is back. The Big Dipper guy is still facing off against God's Army. Their leader, The Colonel, uses razor-sharp boomerangs. Does he stand a chance against mr no-charisma? What do YOU think? As well as the usual unbelievable martial arts hokum, we now get frag grenades that can obliterate one man but leave someone standing next to him completely unharmed! Babylon 5: Crusade [Season 1, Episode 12] Visitors From Down The Street This is reviewed in the special supplement here! . . . Codename: Eternity [Season 1, Episode 19] Project Midas This is reviewed in the special supplement here! .

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