ORBzine - "Charmed" April 2000

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 1] A Call To Arms
Shown 12th Sept 2004
Shown 18th September 2005 [Sunday]

Everyone's still trying to recover from the end of the last Season. Leo does it by attacking Elders like James Avery [Fresh Prince of Bel Air]. The real target of his rage is Billy Drago, the Fear Demon.

Things get more complicated when Leo and Piper attend a Hindu Wedding. They get transformed into the living incarnation of a couple of Hindu deitys. Risky choice for the producers, considering the controversy when Xena: Warrior Princess used Hindu Deitys as characters.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 2] The Bare Witch Project
Shown 19 Sep 04

Charmed [Season 8, Episode 3] Cheaper by the Coven
Shown 26 Sep 04
Shown 18th April 2006 [Tuesday]

The babies, Wyatt and Chris, are having sibling rivalry. The sisters' father [James Read] and Grandma cast a spell to make the kids act older. Instead, it takes 20 years off the sisters' mental ages.

Phoebe acts like a lovesick pre-teen over the pretty-boy who took over the newspaper advice column from her. Paige acts similarly towards a Skreech-faced teacher guy. Obviously their 30-something hormones are too much for their pre-pubescent personalities!

Meanwhile, a demon [with Leo's face and powers!] is after Wyatt. He doesn't have a goatee, so it's not parallel Leo.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 4] Charrrmed!
Shown 3 Oct 04
Shown 8th October 2005 [Saturday]

Leo is still in hot water with the other Elders. They trust him enough to send him and the girls on a mission. However, the New Power is targetting Leo ...

Darrell's mad-woman partner is still obsessed with catching the Charmed ones. She calls in the Feds - and one turns up to help. Agent Brody is more MIB than X-Files investigator. He sends them on the same mission as Leo - finding out who's behind the disappearance of young women when The Fog rolls in. It turns out the victims all practise witchcraft!

One witness is a missing woman's partner - and they aren't cops! Yes, a mild reference to a lesbian relationship has made it into this child-audience show.

The kidnappers are, as the title suggests, a group of pirates. The sisters make a couple of pop-culture references to Pirates of the Carribean , which this is clearly stolen from. Of note, Phoebe's luuurve-interest also mentions Yellowbeard , which is quite a notable pirate film.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 5] Styx Feet Under
Shown 1st August 2005 [Monday]

The Charmed ones cast a spell that stops the Angel of Death from collecting souls. As a result, Piper [ Holly Marie Combs ] must take his place and become a grim reaper. Unfortunately, Phoebe [ Alyssa Milano ] is on the list of soon-to-be reaped!

This week it's Paige's [ Rose McGowan ] turn to dress trampy, in a skimpy mini-skirt and top. She has some competition from guest-star Seer demon [ Charisma Carpenter ], in a wonderbra and a Cordelia-like Valley Girl attitude. Unfortunately she's only in a couple of brief scenes, but there's always the chance she might be back again in Season 8.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 6] Once in a Blue Moon
Shown 17 Oct 04
Shown 8th August 2005 [Monday]

Leo gets possessed, and tries to assassinate the Elders. John DeLancie [ Star Trek: TNG ] is less than pleased about this.

He is even less happy when the blue moon rises, and the Charmed Ones turn into hairy were-creatures.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 7] Someone to Witch Over Me
Shown 31 Oct 04
Shown 15th August 2005 [Monday]

Someone called the New Power is in business. They're hunting Leo, trying to recruit him to their side - by sending disembodied heads of CGI Eddie [Iron Maiden's mascot!] after him. Piper sends him on a vision quest, which gives us some nice Saving Private Ryan style footage.

Paige's new crush, Agent Brody [Kerr Smyth] of Homeland Security, is hunting the New Power. He's also hunting a demon who is stealing peoples' Guardian Angels, to protect himself from the New Power. Again, some fancy Matrix -style camerawork - this isn't the look of the average episode.

Peter Woodward [ B5: Crusade ] pops up as the demon's mentor.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 8] Charmed Noir
Shown 14 Nov 04
Shown 22nd August 2005 [Monday]

Paige is working at the Magic School [think untra-lo-budget Harry Potter style] when a book-hating gnome Professor dies in mysterious circumstances. She calls in the Homeland Security Agent she has a crush on [She's a 30-year-old woman! Why must they always talk like pre-teen girls?].

Paige and the Fed get sucked into a cliched 1930s-era gangster noir novel, filmed in black & white. Her powers don't work, but at least her sisters can help rewrite the book.

At last, Paige decides to act on her attractiomn to the Fed. And Piper may be thawing towards Leo, too ...

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 9] There's Something About Leo
Shown 21 Nov 04
Shown 29th August 2005 [Monday]

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 10] Witchness Protection
Shown 14 Nov 04
Shown 5th September 2005 [Monday]

The Avatars tip Leo off about a supergrass who will help the Elders defeat the Demons. She turns out to be the Seer [ Charisma Carpenter ], and apparently she has a history with Leo!

The Elders [led by John de Lancie - Star Trek ] don't trust her, even though what she wants most is to be made human. She must be on the level, though, when the surviving demons release a super-demon to track her down. And why aren't the Avatars against her? Are they Eeevil? and is Agent Brody, Avatar-hunter, really a good guy?

The ep's high points are when the Seer bonds with fellow psychic, Phoebe [ Alyssa Milano ]. They have more in common than visions, though. Both provide something for the dads - though Carpenter, being taller and more visibly buxom [she has a more display-orientated costume, to be fair] wins hands down.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 11] Ordinary Witches
Shown 16 Jan 05
Shown 12th September 2005 [Monday]

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 12] Extreme Makeover: World Edition
Shown 23 Jan 05
Shown 19th September 2005 [Monday]

The Avatars decide to advance their plan to bring Utopia. They make all humans go to sleep - except the Charmed Ones, of course. Someone has to go Demon-hunting!

The uber-demon is still on the loose, and all the Underworld is obeying him. Demons seem immune to the Avatars' spell, but humans [including Warlocks, one would assume] seem mind-cleansed - including the really bad stains!

Agent Smith is still obsessed with killing the Avatars. This leads to an unfortunate series of events ...

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 13] Charmageddon
Shown 30 Jan 05
Shown 10th December 2005 [Saturday]

The sisters are getting used to the Brave New World. Paige misses the MIB, and consoles herself with his World Trade Centre snow-globe. Phoebe's newspaper buddy is in a better place, and since there's no bad news there's nothing to print!

Leo meets the uber-Demon, who claims the Avatars are removing Free Will. And the Avatars themselves don't hide their methods - they remove and damaged people!

The Demons are in hiding, unable to influence Mortals into eeevil. Can they help the Sisters save the world?

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 14] Carpe Demon
Shown 13 Feb 05
Shown 17th December 2005 [Saturday]

A friendly Demon [Billy Zane - The Phantom ] makes a deal with an eeevil sorceror [Sebastian Roche - Odyssey 5, Roar! ]. However, the sorceror double-crosses him. He goes to the Charmed ones for help!

Zane flirts with Rose McGowan and semi-seduces Alyssa Milano . Typically, this show limits him to monogamy so he must choose one over the other.

When magic goes wrong, Zane thinks he is Robin Hood and that Kurt Fuller [ Alias Season 3 ] is Prince John! Meanwhile, the lady cop is out of the asylum but has amnesia. Will things get any worse?

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 15] Show Ghouls
Shown 20 Feb 05
Shown 24th December 2005 [Saturday]

Phoebe and Billy Zane go back in time.

It all goes wrong, but she dresses in a cleavage-enhancing costume Not as revealing as her modern-day clothes, though she does quick-change into a very frumpy look.

The ghost of an upper-class gent steals Zane's body.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 16] The Seven Year Witch
Shown 10 Apr 05
Shown 31st December 2005 [Saturday]

The Elders, led by John De Lancie [ Star Trek: TNG ] subject Leo to a test to ascertain his path - Mortal or Whitelighter. They wipe his memory and dump him on a desert road in Midwest USA.

Billy Zane is still hanging out with Phoebe. He's annoying, never stops talking. Makes one miss his character from Titanic. At least he'll die at midnight. Hopefully.

Piper quits working for the Elders, while she and her sisters give up on love. They realise they aren't going to have successful long-term relationships. We might as well be nuns ... with better outfits! Nobody mentions that they can still have the pleasure of multiple one-nigh-stands!

Piper gets a dose of terminal love-sickness. Luckily for her, the most unlikely person shows up and offers to help her!

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 17] Scry Hard
Shown 17 Apr 05
Shown 7th December 2005 [Saturday]

Leo is adjusting to being Mortal again.

Uber-demon Oded Fehr [ The Mummy ] is back, with a plan to trap the Charmed Ones.

Phoebe gets asked to step in when the Editor takes the afternoon off. She may be in for a promotion.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 18] Little Box of Horrors
Shown 24 Apr 05
Shown 14th January 2006 [Saturday]

A sai-wielding demon-woman named Katya is after Pandora's Box. She wants to open it and unleash evil upon the world. Ignoring the fact that Pandora already opened the box in Ancient Greece, and that evil's been around since before Season One.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 19] Freaky Phoebe
Shown 1 May 05

Much like the movies this ep is pun-titled over, it involves a mind-swop. Phoebe doesn't become younger ...She is possessed by an evil demoness. Or an eevil sorceress, since Demons aren't meant to have souls. This is never really explained, but who cares?

The She-demon is Ugly, insofar as she looks like the pre-makeover Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries. But the moral of the story is, if you don't have the same makeup and haircare budget as professional actress-Producer Alyssa Milano , you're evil and don't deserve to live.

The demon-woman has a plan. As well as working off her sexual frustration, she also helps the Sisters murder her Underworld rivals.

Paige has a career too - as a whitelighter.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 20] Imaginary Fiends
Shown 8 May 05

Wyatt has an Imaginary Friends. Well, a demon who only he can see. A demon trying to persuade him to turn eeevil by handing over his teddy-bear.

The Sisters summon Wyatt from the future. When he's good he's boring, and when he's eeeevil he wears black t-shirts

Paige is taking her Whitelighter stuff seriously.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 21] Death Becomes Them
Shown 15 May 05

The Halliwells are haunted by the zombies of innocents they failed to protect.

This is Zankou's evil plot to get at the Book of Shadows.

Charmed [Season 7, Episode 22] Something Wicca This Way Goes
Shown 22 May 05

Zankou's plan is to get the Nexus, the source of Good Magicks under the Halliwells' basement.

Meanwhile, Homeland Security surround the house. Darrell's family is moving house [to a new city], he can't do more than offer advice. But at least the girls' father [James Read] is around.

The apocalyptic ending was written as a Series Finale, in case the show wasn't renewed for next Season. The ep title is a pun on the first ep of Series One.