Peace on Earth and good will to all [wo]men... When will this be? How can it be realised? I have yet to truly experience this, but to the child of my Soul that is all I know - all I need to know.

"'Tiz the season to be jolly, Fa-la la-la-la la-la-la-la!" December for me always seems to uncover a lot of melancholy. I suppose, in reality, it is always there but somehow the eventuality of this month always seems to accentuate the sadness. I do not know exactly how to put it into words; it just does and has done for many years. The banquet table has been set and the feast will proceed whilst the amnesia proliferates. Some stomachs fed while Souls lay down starving. On the other side of town, others die of malnutrition, Souls enlightened... Who's better off?

The guiding lights have all but faded, a living memory, but not a dream. I miss my Great-Grandparents, "Maas Bobby" and "Me Granny!" I long for their tender guidance and teachings. His sense of humour and those late evening ghost stories that he told with a vigour that left you sweating and in suspicion of every shadow. The quiet moments full of learning that I would share with Her observing the tides of Our nature. I yearn for the days when family meant village - blood and water; a community, one that every child belonged to.

In all honesty, I have had too much to say lately. Thoughts tumbling around in my head intermingling, transmuting into an informidable blur. Every one trying to become, to be the first to have tangible form, but like crabs in a bucket they drag each other back deep into my mind. Each one too desperate for escape to acknowledge their own demise in this activity. And so they continue to transpire. Gyrating, moving faster than I can type, they escape the nets of my keyboard, evading what they implicitly desire... Expression. Vanishing only to reappear meanings reorganised - puffs of smoke, floating away to permeate the atmosphere.

Rushing slowly by... It seems as though the year has passed in a blink of an extraterrestrial eye. It is time to tally-up, plan and prepare for what is to come - sooner rather than later. Reassessing hopes, aspirations and energy - To reinvest them persistently, purposefully and productively.

Revelations. Everything will come to pass... I have been working on the Springstone quietly, revisiting the Soul's intention. In September I had polished her prematurely - like a rapturous applause before the end of a lullaby. Art that could not sing for me in Truth and for the past month or so I have be reworking the work - a fortiori. I feel better about her now and that makes me feel better about mySelf.

Yesterday I experienced something quietly surreal. It was a dreary day here in East London, not really a surprise for this time of year. The damp coldness just amplified the winter bleakness in the polluted city... Then looking up into the grey and heavy sky I could see a crisp white shimmering disk like a paper-foil cutout. It almost seemed as though I could look through it, into another place... may be I wanted to.

I stood there just watching in awe for about five minutes; my eyes did not hurt... How could the sun be so bright, but not burn my vision? This moment was so beautiful and the murky cotton wool sky even looked appealing. I must capture it! I shuffled in my bag to get my camera, turned it on and pointed to it and then he slowly consumed by the clouds. It was a wondorous sight although eerily serene...

Later that evening I discovered that this 'phenomenon' was due to an inferno at an oil depot in Hemel Hempstead, which is at least thirty miles from where I am - Not good at all! Just reaffirming that everything in Life has an effect on something or someone else.

Gathering the remnants is what I have been doing lately, reaffirming and reappreciating those reasons that drive me to - Be me. Vibes, mmm... I've been suffering. My trip to Izola was not such a pleasant experience after all. And the worse thing is that it could have all been avoided if I listened to my Spirit and heeded my heart.

There was to be an exhibition to run concurrently with the symposium, I was asked to bring a piece of work with me. My mind told me not to, but I still considered it. I picked up 'Prayer: The Spiritual Rebirth, The Divine Balance' and my heart screamed, "NO!" but I went ahead anyway. To cut this long and arduous story short, I witnessed her take the last flight. Through the gallery window I watched her descend helplessly onto the cold marble floor and splinter into a myriad of pieces. It was quick, a bloodless death. Soul-Bird!!! Needless to say I have been grieving. This all happened on the first day...

Each piece I create marks a point in my Life, a question resolved or heart song to share. Nine months of work, focused energy and dedication. Nine years of growing love... destroyed in a careless instant. To say it hurts is an understatement and I can not be compensated for that. But what can I learn from this? What can we all learn? Listen... and learn to hear without ears!

OK, I stayed and continued to work... with fluctuations of weakness and strength, joy and anger, if those words can hold it all in. Realising that all the while I was loosing, someone somewhere was loosing even more. The fire still burns but my wings are not broken so I can fly. Hmph! There you go... My Granny would say, "What nuh kill, fatten!" and so I guess my resolve gained weight - Lots of it.

Acceptance is the secret of contentment. Appreciation is the secret of happiness.

All things have their time. All things have their answers. All things have their right to be. Accepting this reality, all things come into harmony.

Hoping these few words find you well... It's been a longtime, but then again not so long really, because there's still a long way to go. I do want to apologise though... to you and to mySelf... I am a woman who respects my own words, at least that is my aim. I made a promise and I didn't keep it and for that I am truly sad. But, sometimes I need to stand still. 'Something's gotta give' whilst others need to receive. Sometimes more, at other times less...

There has been lots to think about. We are deep into November. Winter is rapidly approaching and nature looks subdued and sleepy here in London. With every season, like with each new experience, the challenge is to make sure you learn something new and grow on, nurturing the knowledge so you can pass it on. To be in the world how you wish the world to be.

Sometimes learning hurts... and in those times you need to take time to digest the lessons, to sort the wheat from the chaff; the sense from the nonsense, the negative from the positive... to recoil and rejuvenate.

Each and every one of us are all Masterpieces in constant evolution, perfect in all our imperfections with the ability to improve with each passing minute... I am going to work by the sea... so for a while there will be no journal entries... As the great saying goes: [Wo]man cannot discover new oceans, until [s]he is willing to loose sight of the shore... Check back on the 1st of November, but until then have a look at the upcoming events I am taking part in... maybe I'll see you there >>

The musician Miles Davis had once said that, "I'm always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning. Everyday I find something creative to do with my life." These are wise words, very wise words indeed...

But what is each day but another opportunity to become more than yesterday?... A chance to grow and build on what has preceded that very moment. The journey is more than just a distance traveled from here to there, but consists of the many small steps, great leaps and obstacles overcomed... or not.

Life's road is a lesson, one from which we should eagerly learn. For she is 'The Master Teacher' and her purpose is to test our will and persistence... Do we rise to the challenge and 'Be' or fold and die? Not before Time has called us in, because he alone knows how long the sinuous path is... This is the best answer I can think of... maybe the only one there should be.

Life + Time = experience & knowledge... Within this constantly evolving (e)motion we should realise that: