Jokes

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Two women, who had been friends for years, decide to go for a girls night out, and were decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to use the bathroom . They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a head stone or something . The first woman had nothing to dry herself with so she thought she'd take off her panties, use them and throw them away. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves. So she dried herself with the ribbon. The next day the first woman's husband phoned the other husband and said "this girl's night out thing has got to stop right now. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other husband, "mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that said, "FROM ALL OF US AT THE FIRE STATION, WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU." From your friends Pam & Ned Cole Miami Florida
Senior Moments: A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?" "To the kitchen" he replies. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you 'll forget it." He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." "I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Leave me alone! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says - "Where's my toast? love .xxx ...your niece Delynn ***********************


This one from Marion Kirsop > >. Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine > >children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus > >arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are > >able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to > >walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the > >stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, > >"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That > >ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you > >would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd both be riding the > >bus".
Here is a joke from our friends in Miami Pam & Ned Cole

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her packet, took a measurement, announce, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed, "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde. We ask for the height, and she gives us the length."