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"In the news today, from the strange and weird fact file, Professor Oliver Hawkspur is running for Prime Minister in the approaching General Election. The famous entrepreneur, millionaire scientist and topless billiards champion, today held a press conference and vicar's tea party at his lush London penthouse basement mansion thing. We caught up with the bald old coot to see what he had to say about life and the price of fish."



"Well naturally I feel I have all the answers to mankind's problems." explains Mr Hawkspur. "There is a place in our hearts, and I know that it is love. This place could be much brighter than tomorrow. My party aims to get bobbies back on the beat, we want to improve train services, healthcare and give every child in Britain a free hat on their first day at school. Too many of our old folk stink of piss and it's time for change."

"There are ways to get there if you care enough for the living." he finishes. "Make a little space. Make a better place."

But little do the people at home know, this bearded behemoth isn't all that he seems, the little tinker.

"Vote for me to stop the wee!" he says, slipping a mittened hand down his trousers and feeling the sweet fruit below.

A few hours later and someone is a dreaming...

"In the middle of the night
Dorothy goes walking in her sleep
From the mountains of faith
an actress so cheap"

This is the cess pit bedroom of ill repute full of filth, muck and stink.. It belongs to the one and only lonely Dorothy Les McShane, daughter of light and lovechild of Ian. Lately her dreams have been erratic and erotic...

   

As she sleeps so shall she dream and prosper. But what are these strange visions she sees in the b*witching hour? Figures from an unknowable future where the past is laced with good tidings and old socks. Angela Bruce alone is bound to provoke a sticky pants scenario.