Episode 9

          Previously on Legopolis... Gillybella Fallatina has lost the murder tapes that prove LaToya was the one wot killed Milly. Little does she know that it was Forbes the Monkey that took the tapes... Jeffers is all set for his big day and there is evil lurking in the waters of Legopolis bay...

 Early that morning in the local shop for Lego people, June Buggs is sipping from her furry cup of Charlie while keeping an eye on the store for Cornelia and Judy.

The little shop bell rings, heralding the first customer of the day, and it's the bitter Gypsy Jane Gibbons. Watch out June Bugs, Legopolis hath no fury like a gyppy scorned!

"Good morning, what can I get you today?" asks June Buggs. "Sorry you haven't got the smiling faces of jaunty local lesbians Jude and Corn today, but they're off playing Ice Hockey."

"I'll have two pounds of your best explosive and a detonator please." says Gyp. Luckily, the local shop sells everything.

June is suspicious as she sells the wench Miss Dynamite, but she doesn't say anything because she's too polite.

Later that day LaToya is polishing "her" newly repaired car.
"I go driving in my car...toot, toot, bah, bah, bah, bah, it's not quite a jag-uar...except it is cos I'm rich!" sneers wicked La Tee in her outrageous shoulder pads and boob tube.

 "That's my dead wife's passion wagon you're buffing down there." points out her new beau MacMillan, appearing behind her like a tramp in the night.

"Your point being?" retorts evil LaTee. "Anyway, I need some more money fishy-lips. I've got young Jeffers Wedding to attend today and I need a new dress."

MacM grumbles and reaches for his wallet, as bulging as an elephants knackers and just as difficult to grab hold of.

That afternoon and down on Elbow Beach, the people are gathered to celebrate Jeffery Stable's marriage to Helen the Horse. Everyone is in their best togs, shoes are shiny, hats are hatty and even June Buggs has changed her knickers to mark the day.

LaToya is giving away Lord Jeff, and steals the limelight with her fetching feathered hat, all she could afford with MacM's tight-arsed clothing allowance.

"Do you take this Horse, to be your lawfully wedded horse?" asks Whicker the Vicar.

 "I do, I do!" roars J J and everyone whoop de whoos in sheer bafflement and delight!

"Hooray, hooray and thrice hooray!" chorus the minions of Legopolis as Jeffers make his speech.

"I can't wait to get this young crumpet back home and into bed!" shouts he by way of a conclusion, and everyone goes suddenly quiet. June Buggs goes suddenly damp.

As evening draws in, Tommy Temple the fearless Copper is gazing out to sea and pondering the fishy problem that Legopolis is currently facing.

"I know you're out there Sharky and I will not rest until I find thee and put you through my agony a trillion times!"

The waves quietly lap at the shore in sinister response.

Night falls like Helen the Horse's bridal gown just across town. But what's this? A sparkling dame on a motor powered bicycle, heading towards the MacMillan Mansion on wheels of glamour and steel.

"Look here Dad. You've abandoned me all my life but it stops here! I'm gonna move in to your stinking mansion and claim 29 years worth of kiddy allowance coppers. So stick that up your rumpus and serve it with cabbage!"

"What about that woman you live and sleep with? Won't she mind?"

"I'll explain all to Sandy, my Special Friend," ruminates Melly. "I have the tender touch, and kisses so golden."

Some hours later, all is quiet in the town centre. Gypo is weaving a tangled web of destruction as she eyes up cheating Dr Foxx's place of work.

"All I have to do is sit on this plunger," she tells her hench-monkey Forbes. "And that lying brute will be eating dirt."

"What about all the sick people in the hospital?" points out Forbes in his mysterious monkey language.

"Quiet you." says she.

Over in Rose Cottage, there are scenes of a tender nature as Mell Bell tells Sandy that she is about to leave their little love nest.

"Wish me well, I cannot stay, you deserve an award for the role that you played. No more masquerade."

"Ok then Mells, you may go as long as you gimme money and sex every Wednesday afternoon. I won't miss you hogging the duvet or stinking out my bathroom."

"It's a deal sister. See you Wednesday. Have the syrup ready."

Meanwhile, it may just be curtains for Dr Foxx and all the other inmates of St Fanny's. Gyp leaves her disastardly explosive device outside the noble gates McFadden. 

Gyppette turns to face the camera and cackles in evil delight. Unbeknownst to her though, playful Forby the Little Monkey is being a mischievous minx and has moved the explosive to outside the Police station... 

Is this the end of Fun Hill police station? Will Jeffery and Helen stay happily married? Will Melons become rich beyond the dreams of averice? What will happen with the shark? EXPLOSIVE events are sure to follow...

Visit Legopolis again soon to find out! If you don't, no one will care!