Moffatts Moussaka!

      Key Ingredients: Aubergines, lamb mince, onions, Guyvere cheese, tomato puree, red wine, nutmeg, cream, eggs

  Rubbish eighties director Moffatt may now be a toothless old crone, but back in the day he regularly feasted on this greek delicacy. Let's recreate those days of yore!



Mr Hunt is home alone so decides to prepare an Aubergine, something he's never done before! Like Matthew Waterhouse, the Aubergine is an odd beast, black and rubbery and blunts the potato peeler, but lemon juice is smeared on to prevent the slices browning. The onions are also chopped.



P-Bal has arrived to peer cheekily over the finished slices.

The onions are next sauteed with some butter. That's "fried" to you and I.



P-Bal steps in again, this time to sniff quizically as the lamb is added and browned with the onions.



In goes the tomato puree, some spices and red wine to give it flavour. Hang on, this is just shepherds pie isn't it? Mr Hunt accidentally chucks half the lamb away, so we're a bit short on yer actual meat content at this stage.

Meanwhile while all this is going on, those Aubergines from earlier are being tossed into a pan of hot water and boiled up.



It's like Pyscho but better dressed - P-Bal attempts to chop the Guyvere cheese into slices to add to the mix.



Next the cheese, meat mixture and Aubergines are layered into a dish. Despite the lemon juice, the Aubergines have gone a weird brown colour - are they really neccessary, we cry?



Time for the sauce! It's a tale of woe so be prepared. First, a wee bit of butter is melted and mingled with flour. It doesn't mix well, and refuses to shed it's lump as milk is poured in...



The regeneration is failing! What's wrong with using a bloody packet sauce?



The sauce is abandoned! Lucky old bin! So we just add some cheese and the eggs go unused. For the first time, HaRpi have compromised a recipe!



But the dish is salvaged! Oddly enough, someone had the sense to buy some jacket potatos, JUST IN CASE it didn't work! The resulting meal is thus!

The Verdict!

A bit of a flop! Mr Rayner hardly ate any of his, a fact he attributed to being "a bit full" despite not having eaten for 12 hours. P-Bal ate up quietly but this is the man who ate Deciders Dessert out of politeness. When probed further, he merely said that there'd been radio and retail apathy and there were some great packaging and mixes. Mr Hunt thought it was quite nice but... lo! I could have done this in 20 minutes without fannying about with Aubergines and expensive cheese! Mr Moffatt, you were as a cook as you were directing "The Visitation" - a bit crap.

Join us again soon for more inedible delights!