Key Ingredients: corned beef, potatoes, butter, onion, sweetcorn, green pepper, chicken stock, dog sick

Here are today's list of ingredients. Just how will HaRpi turn this motley collection of consumables into an edible feast? It's a question still on everyone's lips, including twink icon Aaron Carter, whose panties are visible



Mr Hunt (another glamorous twink) begins the enterprise by laying into the tats. It's a job he hates, but Dame's P-Bal and Rayner are nowhere to be seen so he just gets on with it.



P-Bal turns up to pose with a sliced pepper, which must be diced along with the potatoes and the onion.



K9's laser comes in handy as the mixture is heated to boiling point.



P-Bal opens the corned beef, which also oddly has to be "diced". It's now we recall that the book actually mentions "dog sick" when discussing this recipe.



Some sort of revolting 'sauce' has to prepared for this corned beef hash, but we used lamb stock instead of chicken as we had some festering in the cupboard. To this we mixed melted butter and flour while the veggies bubbled away. Long term fans of HaRpi's How To Cook might note the spanking new cooker since last series, not actually "new" at all, but pilferred from the family when they no longer wanted it. FACT!

 

Mr Hunt adds the corned beef to the sauce and the vegetables. Mmmm. Dog food and onions!



Ta da! The finished dish! We're thinking dog sick after all. It even has the sweetcorny bits! Mr Hunt serves it up with a sprig of salad in the hope the boys won't notice! Dame Gina Gardiner looks on.

The Verdict!

There was a great deal of apathy for this dish! Aside from Dame P-Bal, who gulped it down.
"I haven't eaten for three days," he explained, by means of justification.

"Well I'm full, anyone fancy some toast?" Hunt opinioned, with Rayner slamming his down in agreement suspiciously quickly. In truth, I've now remembered why I haven't eaten corned beef since 1983, and if this is what Mrs Holmes used to feed Doctor Who's greatest scriptwriter every week, it's no wonder he's dead.

So salut! We give it less points than Daz Sampson and invite you to tune in next time, to witness HaRpi's never-ending bid to make every dish in "The Doctor Who Cookbook"!