Wash Bleach Dry
Iron Dryclean  
Care Labels: What's All That About Then?
Care labels are scratchy and irritating and can safely be removed with a penknife or Stanley knife.
If blood from Stanley knife cuts gets onto clothes, it will make you look hard, as long as it is not so much as you make you look pale yourself.
Cleaner, fresher clothes make you look like a girl. And clothes that don't survive the wash weren't worth having anyway.
Neat Domestos is rarely a good idea, no matter what that bloke Dave says in the pub.
Anyway, he is not "a UN soap inspector", he works in Tesco stacking Dreft onto shelves.
So, here is a Man's Lexicon of the symbols on care labels.


Washing
INSTRUCTIONS
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
Hand Wash
(Only joking - Machine Wash, any program)
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
Do Not Wash
(Only joking - Machine Wash, any program)
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
Machine Wash,
any program
   


Bleaching
INSTRUCTIONS
Add a capful of Domestos if you think it'll do any good. Don't get curry stains on this. Really.
Add half a capful of Domestos if you think it'll do any good.


Drying
INSTRUCTIONS
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Do Not Tumble Dry
(Only joking - Tumble Dry, any setting)
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Big radiator
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Tumble Dry,
any setting
Any radiator
Tumble Dry,
any setting
        Small radiator


Ironing
INSTRUCTIONS
Best to fold it
Fold it if you can be bothered
Stuff in a drawer
Stuff in a drawer
Best kept on floor


Drycleaning
INSTRUCTIONS
May not survive washing. Try it anyway. Will survive washing, but will go blue.