I can't

It's a very scary thing
you do
to me
It makes me wake up
in the night
And I can't get back to sleep
because the dream
is staring back at me:

It's the middle of the night
and I
can't get to sleep
because I know what's to come
You come into the room
and whisper gentle words
and I want to go to sleep
but I can't
because:

It's looming over me
the power that you have
it keeps me wide awake
in the middle of the night
and it
keeps me held in fear
all through the day
and I

can't

close

my eyes.

back

Down arms, downy arms

Super ballet
and the twist is twisting on
dance the magic dance
you silly little clown
dance around the edge
where it's clean and untouched
where sword and spear lay
the gladiator at rest
the lion in the middle
the Christian, the slave
watching, afraid, fearful
but with nothing to fear
this gladiator isn't ready

Breakfast time
and the fast is slowing down
to a gentle safety crawl
so it can't be broken
it's delicate and precious
like a Fabergé egg
boiled but uncracked
the soldiers lay impotent
their guns at their side
buttered but unbothered
the general's word is law
and nobody is fighting
this soldier isn't ready

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You keep me

I need a friend, I need a fix
I need a lover I can kiss
I need someone to keep me from myself

I knew a girl who knew a girl
Who knew a girl who knew a girl
But not one girl could keep me from myself

But that was back in time
When what I had was not all mine
There was nothing then to keep me from myself

But then one happy day
You came along my way
And you taught me how to keep me from myself

Now what we have is good
We do everything we should
But most of all you keep me from myself

I have a friend, I have a fix
I have a lover I can kiss
I have someone to keep me from myself

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Father Father

Father say it truthfully
I've had a glimpse of life
But into darkness I have slipped
I can never set it right.

Oh father for all that you've done
My gratitude is sure
But it's my life I can't escape
I'm fighting battles and a war.

My father always at my side
I have achieved so very much
But not a thing I should have done
I'm losing battles, losing touch.

Oh father you have held my hand
Through all my sad campaigns
Now in my field of hard defeat
I wave my white flag once again.

Oh father please don't cry for me
Though I suffer, I am glad
For every small success is huge
Please don't worry - don't be sad.

My father of my heart and soul
Of my body and my mind
Your love for me has kept me strong
Your support drew battle lines.

So father now I fight for you
And I fight for all I'm worth
For everything that's mine is yours
And it's been that way from birth.

Oh father of mine you gave me life
And my mother gave me form
And all the love that you endowed
Has kept me safe and kept me warm.

Now father please give me your word
Although I've failed you I still succeed
Because of all you've given me
From worldly worries, I am freed.

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The Spirit of the Stairs

Touché
my friend
touché.

I said my piece
and you said yours
and you shot me down
in flames.

Well done
it's what I deserved
after all
you're right
and I'm wrong.

I think
I turn back to you
and I think
but I can't think
of anything to say.

And as we walk
your back to me
and my back to you
like two duelling friends
I think
my parting shot.

But it's too late
I'm too late
you've left
and the moment is gone
you're gone
and so is the moment.

In France
they call it
l'esprit d'escalier
stairway wit
you think of a response
but it's too late -
you're half way up the stairs.

Touché my friend
touché
you win, well done
Touché
touché
touché.

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Ballad for the City

In the name of this glorious place -
And you are a citizen here -
By the father of the human race;
We were created for living in fear.

Does a man think he cannot be touched?
Or he may boast of his capitalist ways;
Does he think that he is unseen?

Does he not have a pair of eyes?
A tongue and lips with which to speak?
Has he not been given a choice?
Yet for sure he will not scale the peak.

If only he knew what of this creed
To be up high: it is freedom!
It is the sharing of food, in need,
To an orphan of your blood and breast;
Or to a hungry man crying out;
And to have faith; to be good, and blessed.

Those who walk upon this peak have a place
But those who do not - they shall be lost
To the greatest depths of Hell.

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the second sun

the water ran clean, sluggish but clean
the ravens had left long ago
the tower was crumbling, and so were the walls
the roads were littered with cars
the clock in the tower had finally wound down
the bells were ringing no more
the churches and houses were left to their fate
the wind blew through the streets
the blood on the ground had dried long ago
the rain fell and washed it away
the clouds gathered and nature struck back
the cleansing had already begun
the creatures who lived through the burning
the second sun had set on the old
the indelible life was taking new steps
the mistakes being made anew

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gratitude

an older woman came to me today
she told me she loved what i am.
i asked her what she would say
if i told her i don't give a damn.

she said she'd be shocked and upset
but that she knew i couldn't be cruel
i asked her "please just forget
what i'd said, the words of a fool."

she asked me why i was sad,
why i was blue and why i was glum.
"nobody knows the trouble i've had" -
so she hugged me. thankyou mum.

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is it ever enough?

united in a common goal
i love you, you love me
so where is the problem?

we had ups, we had downs
then we met, and it was good
i thought it could be forever.

but problems arose like scum
and i couldn't skim the surface
and the stench became overpowering.

we both have a million words
yet nothing we say ever matters
why can't we just talk?

i loved you from the start
and i love you still, even now
but love just isn't enough.

perhaps one of us got tired
perhaps we ran out of steam
whatever it is, we're done.

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I am whole.

I have no body.
I am my soul.
I am my thoughts.
I am whole.

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