| |
Counselling
Many people come to a time in their lives when they feel the
need to seek outside
help.
For
some it's a specific difficulty with work or family relationships,
for others
a feeling of
being
out of control of their lives or feeling
stuck and unable to move
forward.
Counselling gives
you the opportunity to talk through your difficulties with
someone who isn't involved in the same way that friends and
family are.
A counsellor will support you in gaining a deeper understanding
of your situation,
and can help you make changes.
Some of the issues that bring people to counselling are:
| |
low
self confidence or esteem *
stress
and anxiety
relationship and sexual problems
work or family relationships
inability to make a decision
sexuality issues
separation and divorce *
bereavement * |
*
please scroll down this page if you would like to read more
...
Low
self confidence and low self esteem can affect just about
everything in
life:
relationships, job prospects, and your overall enjoyment of
life itself.
Self confidence is an inner self-belief, an attitude of people
who trust their own
abilities, and
who do not depend on the approval of others in order to feel
good
about themselves.
Many people find they are more or less confident in different
areas of their lives.
Some are extremely confident, competent and respected at work,
but feel
powerless to form a good emotional relationship at home.
Others
enjoy high
esteem and confidence in their personal relationships, but when
it comes to their
jobs, they don't expect to be successful. Good self esteem -
your self worth and
value - increases your confidence.
Separation
and divorce -- some relationships end suddenly, some erode
over
time. Whatever the circumstances, breaking up is a bleak time
for all involved.
For most people, it's a shock when a relationship breaks down.
Even once it's
over it can take months for reality to sink in, and during this
time it's not
uncommon for people to fantasise about getting back together
and/or to be full
of recriminations.
Many
people get locked into looking for blame -- whose fault is it?
What did I do
wrong? How could they do that to me? This is very understandable,
but a more
constructive approach is to focus on what went wrong in the
relationship.
After
a relationship breakdown, many people find themselves struggling
with
feelings of low self esteem and low self confidence. It can
be easy to forget to
give yourself time for your own feelings. Time with supportive
friends can help,
creating time and space to grieve, relaxation time, and treating
yourself when
times are tough. It is important to be kind and gentle to yourself,
and accept all
the support you're offered from friends and family.Talking to
someone else
outside the situation can be of enormous benefit, and can help
with the
important question of why your relationship failed.
Gaining this understanding is the first step
towards recovery. Counselling can
also help you deal with the emotions associated with splitting
up: anger,
sadness, depression, guilt, depair, fear and confusion.
Extremely
important questions for many people are how to tell the children,
and how best to help the children. The needs of the children
are partly dictated
by their ages. Younger children's concept of time means that
it's not usually
helpful to tell them what is happening in a month or so's time,
as a day can
seem like an age.
Although
it can seem daunting, starting again after a relationship breakdown
can also be an opportunity to make a fresh start and try new
things. It may be
the first time in years that you have been able to put your
needs first.
Bereavement
Grieving
takes place after any sort of loss, but most powerfully after
the death
of anyone
close.
A whole range of feelings and emotions can be experienced including
shock,
disbelief, numbness, anger, depression, guilt, yearning and confusion.
Grieving takes time and no two people grieve in the same way.
It is important
to recognise the individual differences and experiences. Some
people will
say their divorce was more painful to them than the death of their
parent.
Others say they daren't speak out about the extremely painful
feelings
following the death of a pet.
Loss of a partner ....
Most recover from a major bereavement within one to two years.
As time
passes the pain of bereavement begins to fade. Sometimes talking
to
someone other than friends or family can help this process. Some
people
value time and space to be able to talk about their loss of a
loved one. Others
need help in order to get to a stage of being able to look forward
and think
about the future.
|
