2008 Pumpkin Song. (to the tune of If you're happy and you know it)

If you want to grow a pumpkin sow a seed.
(x2)
If you want to grow a pumpkin, well that really would be somethin’ …

Verse 2 - if you want to grow a pumpkin, love the soil.

Verse 3 - if you want to carve a pumpkin, risk assess.

Verse 4 - if you want to cook a pumpkin, wash your hands.

Verse 5 - If you want to eat some pumpkin lick your lips.

2007 Song -apologies to John Newton (and all fans of amazing grace)

Amazing squash, how sweet the taste
When baked into a scone
You once were seed, but now are fruit
Your D.N.A. goes on

Through many dangers, slugs and snails
You struggled through to grow
You loved the light and made us food
That gives us winter glow

You sacrificed your seed for us
Entombed within the earth
A miracle of life took place
As your germ gave new birth

Bring me my chariot of fire
I will not cease from sowing seeds
Nor shall my fork sleep in my hand
Till we have crowned the pumpkin king
In Kettering’s green and pleasant land!
 

*********

I vegetate
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where they go
when they’re picked and sold
‘cos I have been told
that they’re cooked in pies and eaten cold
so when I’m growing in my bed
sun’s shining on my head
and all the slugs are dead
I’m growing pumpkins instead

And through it all she offers me nutrition
A beautiful position
To grow here in the sun
And like a waterfall
The rain falls all around me
The breezes do surround me
when it comes to Fall she will astound me
I’m growing pumpkins instead


when I’m feeling weak
and my leaves are wilting in the heat
I look above
and I know I’ll always be blessed with love
and all around my roots
she feeds flesh to my fruits
and all the slugs are dead
I’m growing pumpkins instead

And through it all she offers me nutrition
A beautiful position
To grow here in the sun
And like a waterfall
The rain falls all around me
The breezes do surround me
when it comes to Fall she will astound me
I’m growing pumpkins instead

2004 song

Apologies to "Joseph and the Amazing technicolour dreamcoat"

I close my eyes
and think of pumpkins
knowing that there’s something
on which I can rely
 
I want to grow
a giant pumpkin
an enormous fun thing
well I can but try
 
A crash of drums
a flash of light
Mr Attwood is a terrible sight
he’s just found out someone else has grown a bigger one
 
So close your eyes
and think of pumpkins
let your ambition
reach for the sky
I wish you all
could grow a pumpkin
they are such fun things
nobody can deny
 

 Earlier songs

Imagine there’s no pumpkins
it’s very hard to do
nothing to grow or sing for
and nothing tasty to chew
imagine all these pumpkins
growing in the sun

yoo hoo oo

imagine growing a pumpkin
it’s easy if you try
the fertile soil below it
above it only sky
imagine eating your pumpkin
curried in a stew
yoo hoo oo

You may say that I’m a weirdo
but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
and grow a pumpkin in the sun

Imagine all your friends
cultivating squash
we could all be famous
and earn lots of dosh
Imagine all your friends
with pumpkins in their hands

*************************************************************
Grow them in the sun girls
grow them for the fun girls
grow them for a reason
let the reason be love

repeat

hum whilst I rap...

orange yellow, coloured all green
the most beautiful squash you ever have seen
fat ones small ones, pumpkins round
all this goodness just comes from the ground

in 98 I was the pumpkin king
but in 99 a terrible thing
someone won my pumpkin crown
and made me look like a circus clown

but we’re good friends now and you know why
our pumpkins grow under the same blue sky
so together we stand and together we grow
and sing for our pumpkins -  O what a show!

there ain’t no way we’re going to stop
and we shall grow them until we drop
so join us girls and grow one too
I won’t stop singing until you do

*********************************************
(To the tune of 'God save the Queen')

My pumpkin ode to thee
sweet fruit of dignity
of thee I sing
Pumpkin your skin of gold
pumpkin so good to hold
so many stories told
I am the pumpkin king!