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2006 Tour

Click on the pictures below to play the video interviews from Tour - the quality of video and audio is poor but that's so I could upload them. Original versions are available on CD (which is currently in circulation).

Day one - pitch report	Day two - course report	Day two - collecting winnings	Day two - end of races summary
Day three - paintball (beforehand)	Day three - half way through paintball	Day three - end of paintball interviews	Day four - presentation to Worcester nomads

This is the main page to read about some of the tours. So far we only have extensive pictures of the tour 2006 but in year's to come this will build up into a large diary...

Click here to read about 2006 Tour itinerary

Click here to view photos from 2006 Tour

Fugitive Tour Memoirs 2006
By A Rothwell

Extracts taken from the official tour diary- censored to protect reputations of those who toured.

Day 1

The tour party convened at Fugitives Athletic Club for breakfast, pre tour drink and general organisation. Tommo and Bridgey collect hire bus whilst remaining Fugies conversed about anticipated events over the next 4 days.

Bus arrives and we are off. All but Tommo- who is driving- get involved in a few aperitifs. The tour begins with music from the tour jukebox swelling an already exciting atmosphere.

An M50, M5 and a services stop for Gus to buy some literature later, we arrived at the world famous Stump and Divot Inn. Having checked in and allocated rooms, a small game of matchbox throwing was organised by Games Master Evs. After several beers, it was decided that in order to give respectable representation of NFCC at Pershore CC the drinking should temporarily cease and a game of park cricket would be an ideal warm up.

During a hideous display of hit and run cricket, during which the park emptied (possibly at the sight of Gus’ bowling or Rothers’ Brokeback Mounting impression?), Dr ‘Grim’ Roberts arrived. We were now up to fighting strength.

Although having only been touring for some 6-8 hours several misdemeanours had occurred documented below:

“How can Kobus tour? He’s not a NFCC member.”- Anon
“I wish my missus was on tour.”- Kobus
“F**k me our tour almost didn’t happen, Tommo almost totalled the tour bus.”- Bridgey "That's just opinion, not fact" - Tommo

Several Fugies failed to observe dress codes by not wearing correct attire, i.e. no tie (Gus & Pryce)
General destruction of official Fugie clothing (Durslet irreparably braking senior dog bow tie)

Official Match Report
NFCC v Pershore CC
(20/20 game)

A cracking game of cricket to open the 2006 Fugie Tour. Given the short notice our hosts did a brilliant job.

Fugies won the toss and elected to bat. Before taking the field, tourists were reminded by the games master that your first shot must be attacking and that no more than 2 non-scoring shots were to be played in succession.

Evs batted brilliantly for a quick fire 58 and mused over whether such rules should apply to his own batting in league matches. He was ably supported down the order by Bridgey (38) and Tommo (22). The attacking shot rule was well observed by all, especially by Grim who smashed a huge drive towards deep mid on off his first ball. Unfortunately he was caught- quack, quack!!

General applause was observed at the close of the innings as the mighty Fugies had scored a defendable 140. Game on.

The home side started slowly thanks to some tight bowling from Kobus and Gus. The skipper decided to tighten things further by bringing Curtly and Grim on- spin to win!! This watertight plan completely backfired; the dam was truly breached as the Kiwi pro went bonkers, taking a particular fancy to Serge’s floaters!

Kobus got a recall much to the bemusement of Pryce (“me, me, me, me”). It looked all over when the Kiwi missed timed Kobus’ slower ball to Gus at deep mid off. However, there was absolutely no chance of Gus catching that so the game continued!

Rothers was now selected to see the game through in the supporting role. A great decision by the skipper. It was not long until the 2nd team swinger clean bowled the Kiwi much to the delight of Pryce who was still sulking about not being allowed to bowl.

The Fugies eventually ran out winners by 7 runs, a great start to what looked like a cracking tour.

Game Heroes: Evs, Tommo, Bridgey, Rothwell and Kobus.

Game Villains: Gus (couldn’t catch a cold), Serge (allowing Kiwi to explore various parts of the ground previously uninhabited by cricket balls), Bridgey (running out Serge and not bowling Pryce), Pryce (me, me, me, me)

Fugitives partook in drinks with the opposition and by 9pm it was agreed by Tommo that as he had not had a drink we should head back to HQ. A night of drinking and dancing followed; by 3am energy levels were running low. A cheeky bite to eat was sure to help induce a good nights sleep.

Day 2 (8.00am)

Having slept a bit we assembled in the lounge for breakfast. A car crash of human bodies appeared thrilled to see a full English awaiting!! There was very little chat between fellow fugitives as a knowing glance communicated the whole story as the fried eggs and beans were carefully consumed.

Court was assembled and a refreshing bottle of reef was ordered for all (that should really hit the spot!!). Most people got off lightly, as sentence after sentence was passed. Notable exception being Kobus (£12) and Judge Tommo (£10), although given that Tommo almost wrote off the Tour bus he did quite well (again, hearsay!! - (Tommo)). Orders were to meet in 1 hour ready for a day at the races.

With full tour apparel donned, we were off. The mood was certainly one of eager anticipation as we headed through our host city on foot, observing the whistle when applicable. Little did we anticipate a day of such high jinx and drama. Observing rule one of tour, the author has decided to be economical with the truth for the next part of the diary entry but suffice to say High Court was opened and then immediately adjourned for a full hearing in 2007.

“We won almost as much as we bet, consumed a large amount of alcohol and entertained the masses with displays of shadow boxing, manual gardening and gym club. On the whole a fantastic day”

Mr Wong and his hard working but low paid entourage were overjoyed at 6.30pm when NFCC turned up. Having pre paid we set about try to bankrupt the man. Why Grim elected to sit down between courses was quite a puzzle, he hovered around with buffet tables like an Ethiopian hovers around a food aide truck from OXFAM. Excellent consume(age) by all.

Everyone was delighted when Dirty and Digger arrived and were impressed with the way they set about catching up on the drinks front. Once again another fine night out ensued. In fact many Fugies were close to requiring wheelchairs to help them get home- quite literally leg less!!!

Day 3 (8.00am)

After yet another marvellous night's sleep, supported by a wonderful 3am supper of kebab meat, we awoke to find ourselves faced with a plat of hot grease occasionally littered with food like items.

Following the strict rules of engagement laid out in the tour itinerary, court was once again soon in session and most were dealt a fair and honest sentence.

We were now ready to put our lives on the line- Fugie paintball, WAR!! Nigel ‘me, me’ Pryce decided that he could no longer be a member of tour and went AWOL. Fearing that one doctor may not be enough for paintball, Grim called in two more doctors, what a sensible idea!!

We eventually found our location after some appalling map reading by Gus and Durslet. Paintballing turned out to be excellent fun, although the weather certainly worked against us. We ran around the paintball enclosure sweating our tits off as temperatures rose to any unforgiving +30 degrees.

Paintballing finished we head back to HQ, stopping off half way to buy fish and chips in Bewdley on Severn - an inspired idea. We sat by the river, watching the world go by mulling over the days events, devouring our food. We were soon back on the road, preparing ourselves for one final night on the town.

The newly recruited doctors really impressed, demonstrating excellent drinking skills during our final night. Overall a big thank you must be given to Worcester for allowing us to drink in their city and putting up with our occasional unique behaviour.

Day 4 (8.00am ish)

After a swift breakfast it was decided to leave the Stump and Divot Inn and say our goodbyes to Pam. We piled into the tour bus and made our way to Worcester Nomads Cricket Club.

Official Match Report
NFCC v Worcester Nomads CC
(Pro 40)

After desertion of tour by both Pryce and skipper Bridgey it was left to Fugitive legend Matt Evans to skipper the side and Digger and Dirty were left to keep spirits high.

Things were certainly looking good as we arrived for general cricketing duties at our hosts ground, 3 hours before play was due to commence. It was therefore decided, for the last time, to convene court. Everyone took an enormous kicking, particularly the Doctor who was celebrating his birthday hugging a pillow. However, Durslet had shown excellent bounce-back-ability and received only minor fines. After a spot of lunch we set about our cricketing business like a bunch of tourists who were on their final day of tour. We were especially ecstatic to see their skipper put them into bat and us into the field in 31 degree heat.

The opening bowlers (Gus and Digger) had a wonderful start; the home side were 60-0 after 5 overs- top bowling! 12 per over was a true reflection of the alcohol consumption during the previous days. Skipper Evs decided that things needed changing- what a decision that was! Kobus was given the call to loosen up ready for the next over. A mood of anticipation rose around the outfield as he ran in; we could see the whites of the batsman’s eyes as the ball left Kobus’ hand.

The raised mood only lasted the time it took the batsman to decide which part of Worcestershire needed a cricket ball as he dispatched the first and successive balls everywhere. The NUMBER 1 DAFT PICK got spanked around 2 overs for 23 runs. Kobus yanked himself off in spectacular fashion disappearing down to deep third man only to be seen again deleting tour video footage.

Grim and Dirty came on to bowl. This had the desired effect and the run scoring slowed up. Kobus was relieved. Curtley also got amongst the wickets and Rothers and Evs concluded the bowling. Evs having the highly notable figures of 1 over- 5 runs- 0 wickets, good work. The chase was on with the home side finishing 245-5!

Kobus was especially pleased with this target as he considers himself to be a very good chaser! Of what we are still not exactly sure as he was run out for 11. Once again Evs had a go and was supported in part by Digger but the truth was that our bodies were simply in a terrible mess and running around didn’t really feature on the list of things we were capable of doing.

In case you were wondering we went on to predictably lose the game by quite a large margin. All said and done NFCC were happy to have won one and lost one on tour and got through it.

Epilogue

A collection of thoughts collected from those Fugitives who toured.

There is hope for all MS suffers everywhere if ??? is on tour!!!
(???)

Two words- ‘shape shape’
(Kobus)

For my first Fugies tour I would like to say thank you to all fellow Fugies and roll on 2007, ‘shape shape’, love it
(Gus)

To the book, tour this season has been one of the best I’ve been on in sports entertainment. I love my fugitives more than I realise, which makes the boyz cool. Respect to Tommo and Bridgey for a good tour. Great tour all round.
(Durslet)

Thanks Buddies for a great tour, ‘shape shape’ to the fast bowlers crew. Big shout to Tommo, look out NZ Pro I’ll be back!!!!
(Serge)

A fantastic effort by all Fugies who toured- short or long. This trip really solidified friendships. Many highlights that shall never be spoken of. Thanks be to Tommo and Bridgey who really worked hard, this certainly paid off. General clap(age)
(Rothers)

Russell ‘Judge’ Thomas and Chris ‘SA’ Bridges you need honours in the New Year. My Chuckle muscles need two weeks hols, which is only a third of my total hol!! You’ve done the club and more importantly your mates proud. I cant stop smiling...
(Matt Evans)

Rarely stopped giggling for the whole tour. All tourist contributed immensely. Great cricket, good drinking, average breakfast eating and horrendous crimes resulting in Walter Mitty being able to afford a new house. Best to all, lets make 2007 even better! Top touring (Tommo)

Thanks to all the tourists, Pam, Pershore CC, Worcester Nomads, Mr Wong and the 2 donkeys that came in!! Great drinking, not bad eating (Grim 7 plates). Well in Serge for keeping the bottom lip coiled in when I ran you out first ball. Lets make next year better. Best tour I’ve been on. Haven’t stopped giggling from Tues 28th 8.30am. Top touring
(Bubble Butt).

The End
... (or is it the start of the countdown to next year...)

Download Gus batting on video here or just watch...