Chapter Twenty-two - The Green-Eyed Monster
"I can drive," said Dave. "Let me."
"It's my car!" I protested. "I want to drive it!" I had never been able to afford driving lessons, otherwise I would certainly have learned before then. Percy could always get his father to drive him anywhere, so he had not bothered either. But Dave evidently had, which was either a shame or a good job, depending on how you look at it.
"Look, I can drive and you can't, so let me drive!" he pleaded.
"You won't be able to drink if you do," I pointed out.
"Okay, you can drive," he said, breaking into a can of lager.
"But you don't know how to," Percy pointed out to me. "And neither do Randall or Wool. I told you this idea was impossible. Back to the horses, everyone!"
I looked back at the horses. They had fallen asleep. Why should we have to ride on those big, stupid creatures when we could travel in the comfort and style of these luxurious cars? I thought to myself. It just wasn't fair. If only the cars could be made to work, somehow...
"Well?" asked Wool quizzically. "Do we give up on these vehicles, or what?"
"Hang on," I said. "There might be a spell I can do that could help." I took the Spellbook Index from my bag, and found:
'MACHINES, MAKING WORK: WS P176'
It was in Highly Advanced Spells for Warlocks. I got it out from my Hat, flicked through it as it was one I had never used before, turned to page 176 and read:
'SPELL NINETY-SEVEN: MAKING MACHINES WORK.
'There are no factories on the World, as pollution from them would spoil its natural beauty; therefore thare are no machines. However, in non-magical worlds the races wantonly destroy their environment for the sake of building ever more complex machinery. If you should come into contact with one, via a trans-dimensional warp or some such occurrence, here is how to get it to respond to your commands.'
That introductory part was very interesting, as it explained why fantasy worlds have no big industrial cities. (From what Randall had told us, the cities in his part of the World were like those in the Middle Ages on Earth.) The spell was what I was really interested in, so I performed it, which necessitated throwing Urzant Swamp Water all over the car and setting light to it, which made the car a bit dirty and charred but another spell which came next after it in the book, 'MAKING MACHINES NICE AND CLEAN AFTER YOU HAVE GOT THEM TO WORK' restored it to its gleaming pristine state.
Wool was studying the page. "See if it will obey your commands now," he said.
"Er, okay," I replied, getting into the car again. "Go forward, car."
The car's engine started, and revved up a few times before the car sprang into life and sped towards a grove of trees. I now wished that I had not got back into it.
"STOP!" everyone yelled, including me. It did, with centimetres to spare before it would have hit a tree. Good thing we were wearing safety belts, I thought, before realising I wasn't. Luckily the windscreen was made of plastic, so I bounced off it and back into my seat, rather shaken by the experience.
Wool and Randall ran up to my window. "It works!" exclaimed Randall. "Now do it on my car."
"You'd better perform it, if you want to move the car," I told him. "Better still, get Garbaleth or Paularda to do it." They were experienced spellcasters, though perhaps not with the same spells Kramus had used.
"I think I'm quite capable of casting a simple spell!" scoffed Randall, taking the spellbook from me. "Why, at the Battle of Frolin Moor I hurled hundreds of fireballs at the screaming hordes, as they hurtled towards me in wave after wave..."
"Yes, yes," said Wool, steering him off. "You're great at everything, we know that." Turning back to me for a second, he rolled his eyes in a long-suffering expression. I got the feeling Randall enjoyed talking about himself, rather more than anyone else enjoyed listening.
"Better get your seat belt on," Percy reminded me. I did so, and glanced over my shoulder to see Errant with his on, and a seat belt attached to the holder with the strap hanging in mid-air. They look much better on visible people.
"Why do we have to wear these things?" asked Errant, picking at his. "They dig into your skin."
"If we don't, and policemen stop us, we'll get fined," said Dave.
"We aren't on Earth now," said Percy. "There are no policemen here. We are wearing safety belts so that we will be safe if we do not crash."
"This car can't crash!" I told him indignantly. "I just tell it where to go, and it goes there. Simple."
"We nearly smashed into a tree then!" Percy reminded me. "It was most ignominious. Arms and legs were flailing ubiquitously." Oh no, not again, I thought.
At that point, Wool came back to return the spellbook. "Here you go," he said, handing me it back. "Garbaleth did Randall's car in the end, and Cotton volunteered to cast the spell on mine. Another one of her hidden talents! The royal couple are leading, followed by me, with you last. When my car turns off the road, make sure yours does too, as that's where we're going to stop for the night. See you then!" He walked off.
"Off we go then!" I said. "Finally." Randall and Wool's cars started up and moved off, so I yelled "FOLLOW THAT CAR!" feeling like I was in a cheesy car-chase movie as I did so. My car went forward until it was right behind Wool's, and continued on at that distance. Now we could relax.
And so began the strangest journey ever made in a fantasy world - three sports cars in a row. Such sights were common on other worlds, but not on this one. At the road edge, sheep gazed bewilderedly at the strange vehicles. Good, I thought nastily, roast lamb tonight.
"What did you think of the gang then?" Errant asked.
"They seemed nice," Percy said.
"Yes," I said. "Quite an unusual collection, though."
"It was just me and my parents to start with," said Errant. "We picked all the others up along the way. Wool was spying on us for his government, but when he heard what we were doing he thought it would be more fun to travel along with us instead. Mouth saved us from a wolf attack, killing a whole pack of wolves single-handed; he's been tagging along ever since, nobody knows why as he doesn't talk. And Cotton joined us when we were passing through her country, looking for Zarabul; she tried to help us find her, but drew a blank, and ended up coming along with us because she fancied Wool. That's about it."
"So, her and Wool have been a couple for a while, then?" I asked casually.
"About two months now. They're madly in love."
"Damn," I said under my breath.
"What do you mean, 'damn'?" asked Dave. "Bit jealous of Wool, are you?"
Oh dear. I was attracted to Cotton, certainly, although it wasn't really physical - I just instinctively liked her, and knew I wanted to get to know her better, but in a way I could not explicitly define, even to myself. But if I explained this to Dave, he would undoubtedly have said "You fancy her!" Which I didn't. I thought. I had fancied Cris' human form, and that Elven Princess, and to some extent Tamplia, but Cotton was different. I just didn't know why.
"No, I'm not jealous," I said, trying to be as casual as I could. "I like Cotton, but, you know, not in that way."
"I bet you fancy her."
"I do not!"
"Ooh, wait till Wool finds out!" crowed Errant. "He'll kill you!"
"Now you look - " I began.
"Watch out!" shouted Percy.
Ahead of us the road turned sharply to the left. "LEFT!" I yelled. The car turned left. We did not crash into the hill, and Dave had forgotten the incident.
After a few hours, it started to get dark, so all the cars turned in to a clearing to the left of the road. Dinner was a far grander affair than lunch had been, as someone had the idea of drawing a large table out of one of their Hats, so we ate off that. There were at least five courses, as well - one of the advantages of having a neverending supply of food. Everything was going very well indeed until after the meal, when Paularda started talking to Percy. Then the trouble started.
"How long have you all been away from your home world?" she asked him.
"About six weeks now," he said. "We are certainly looking forward to getting back."
"You have families there?"
"Oh yes. It's certainly been a wrench, being away from them for so long." I hadn't really thought about them for weeks, actually, but I kept silent.
"I imagine your wives are missing you as well," sympathised Paularda.
I had taken a sip of water at just that moment, and ended up spurting it all over the table in shock.
"Sorry," I apologised, wiping my mouth with a napkin.
"None of us are married," said Percy.
"Really?" asked Paularda, surprised. "Well, I am sure you will find someone sooner or later."
Given Percy's legendary detachment from such issues, that was very unlikely. Just to stir things, I blurted out "Oh, Percy's always after some girl or other. Right now he fancies Queen Ahlania!"
"He'd better not!" said Randall, sternly. "The last man who made a pass at my wife..."
"Was you," Ahlania told him.
"Oh. Right."
"Charming though your wife is, I have no predilection for her," Percy said coolly. "In fact, Martin is more the Romeo of our party - every planet he visits he finds a different woman to pursue. Currently he is in love wih Cotton, for example."
My jaw dropped open. Percy was the last person I had worried about spreading that rumour! My life was over. I decided to chew on a cyanide tablet as soon as possible.
"WHAT?!" exploded Wool angrily. It looked like I would not have to end my own life. Wool would save me the bother.
"Is it true? Are you in love with Cotton?" Paularda asked me.
"No," I lied. Was it love? I had no idea. "And anyway, what's happened to Percy and Ahlania?"
"There's nothing between them," said Errant snottily. "It's you and Cotton that we're interested in now." I think it was at that moment that I began to hate Errant. Him being a Prince had impressed me at first, but now I was starting to realise that beneath the royal trappings lay a selfish, spoilt, snotty-nosed little brat. Anyway, he seemed convinced that Cotton and I were a potential item, so I had to fight scandal with scandal.
"Dave fancies Paularda, you know," I told them nonchalantly.
"You're just trying to get out of it now," said Dave. "We all know that you madly lust after Cotton, so don't try to deny it."
I noticed that Wool had produced a very sharp dagger from somewhere, and was picking at his teeth with it, glaring in my direction as he did so. This was not going well at all!
"I think Cotton should be asked what she thinks about all this," said Errant. Fortunately for me, Cotton had gone off to one side to wash the dishes in her Hat, so had not been within listening distance of this whole conversation. She had asked the Hat for soapy water, and it had filled up with it. We were discovering new uses for the Hats every day.
"Great idea," agreed Dave. "Go on then."
Errant went off to talk to Cotton. This was a very bad situation. Apart from anything else, it would ruin any chance I might have had with her. It would make me the butt of everyone's jokes for weeks. And it was all Percy's fault.
"Isn't this exciting?" asked Percy. "I wonder what she'll say."
"If it wasn't for you, this situation would never have happened," I said. "You're a real scandalmonger, you know that?"
"You started the ball rolling with your insinuation," he reminded me. "I merely pushed it in a different direction." This was true, technically, but it didn't mean I had to like it. It was much easier to blame Percy than to blame myself, so that's what I did.
Errant came back, holding one arm and wincing. "She -- OW! - hit me, and said I was an - ARGH! - scandalmonger."
"Well. that's what you get for spreading false rumours." I told him, smirking.
"Actually, you're lucky," Dave told him. "If you had gone through puberty, she could have hit you somewhere that would have been a lot more painful."
"Just because she denied it, it doesn't mean it's not true," said Wool darkly.
"Wool, we've only known them a couple of hours," sighed Garbaleth. "They've never had the opportunity to even speak to Cotton without you knowing about it! Stop being so bloody paranoid!"
"He's always like this," Ahlania confided in me. "Hideously jealous of any man who even looks at Cotton. Quite pathetic, really."
"All right, all right," grumbled Wool. "So there's nothing going on. Fair enough. But," he glared at me, "don't start anything, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed readily. Fingers crossed behind my back.
That night we all drew suitable lodgings from our Hats. Randall and Ahlania had an enormous palace, in view of their being the Supreme Overlords of the Entire Cosmos, or whatever they were. Paularda had a quaint little cottage with roses round the door. Garbaleth had a dirty old hovel, as he apparently liked that sort of thing. Wool and Cotton each had small, simple houses (I was glad to see they didn't sleep together) and Errant had a room in Randall's palace, of course. Percy. Dave and I got self-contained hotel rooms with en-suite shower and bathroom, as we fancied a bit of luxury after a week of bare Eschian rooms. Mouth just wandered off into the bushes they explained that was what he always did. Well, it takes all sorts...
Once I had changed into my pyjamas and brushed my teeth, I lay on my hotel bed and said 'Day 4: Supplemental' to the diary. hoping that it would add this on to the end of Day 4. "Sorry about that," I said. "I forgot to record the rest of the day. It would have been pretty pointless anyway - I'll just do a summary tomorrow, no point just recording a car journey. Well, we're travelling with the guys from up North now. They seem fairly decent. Despite what everyone is saying, I do NOT fancy Cotton - I am just highly attracted to her in a non-physical way, that's ail. I'd better sign off now. as I've recorded far too much of today already." I switched it off, thinking back to the start of the day when we were back in the spaceship. It all seemed so long ago now. That's what eventful days do to you.
The next day we had breakfast (our own personal choices, from our Hats), then wondered what to do about the row of houses that were left by the side of the road. We couldn't get them back into our Hats, so we decided to leave them there for future travellers along the road to use. We got back into the cars and drove on, continuing down the twisty road through the barren hills.
It occurred to me that the car looked bare. There were no stickers on the windscreen, no nodding dog on the back windowledge...nothing. So I got a pair of fluffy pink dice from my Hat and tied them to the rear-view mirror.
"Oh, very tasteful," said Percy sarcastically. "What if someone I know sees me driving round in a car which has a pair of fluffy pink dice inside it?"
"I don't think you're likely to meet someone you know here," I told him. "The only people we know on this planet are on the other side of the mountains." I was disgusted by Percy's outright snobbery.
"Whenever we go on holiday, we meet someone we know." Percy told me.
"That's because you always go to your villa in France," I reminded him. Percy's parents were filthy rich and apart from the villa, owned three cars. a big, detached house, five televisions (three with satellite and cable channels) two cordless videophones and a partridge in a pear tree. (Honest.)
"I wish there was some way we could contact Kramus, to let him know we're all right," said Dave, changing the subject.
"Our belt radios might work!" I exclaimed, only just remembering them. Mine was back in the spaceship, though. "Percy, try yours."
Percy pressed the button on his belt radio. "Hello? Kramus? Can you hear me?" He let go. No answer. He repeated the action, and there was still no answer. "They're probably still in space."
"When should they be landing here, then?" asked Dave.
"Quite soon," replied Percy. "Within the day, definitely."
"Will we see the ship land?" I asked.
"Maybe, maybe not."
"We must find some way of discovering where they land!" I exclaimed. "Maybe a spell will help." I looked in the index to find
"LOCATION, AS P182' .
In Advanced Spells I read:
'SPELL ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TWELVE : LOCATION OF PEOPLE.
'To locate a person, say their name whilst holding a crystal ball. An image of the person will appear in the ball. NOTE: This is a powerful spell, but will not work if the person is on a different planet to the spellcaster.'
I got a crystal ball out of my Hat. It was a beautiful sphere of shiny crystal, which I could see my reflection in, although it was very distorted. I said the spell. but there was no effect - it just clouded over.
"That's strange," I frowned. "It should work, if they're in space."
"They can't have got out of hyperspace yet," said Percy.
"It says the effects will last indefinitely," I read. "I'll keep it in my bag, and look at it from time to time." I did so, idly wondering if there was a spell for seeing the future in a crystal ball, or if it was all a big swindle by gypsies.
We stopped for lunch in a very hot clearing. The suns were beating down on us like...like...like suns, really.
"Phew! This uniform's really hot!" I commented, tugging at my collar. Black was not a very sensible colour to wear in summer on a planet with three suns, I realised.
"Why don't you wear something different, then?" asked Randall. He had abandoned his suit of armour. which must have been even hotter than my Eschian uniform. and had left his sword tied to the roofrack of his car. Today he was wearing light summery clothes - a thin shirt and multicoloured vomit-inducing shorts. which must still have been in fashion in The World.
"Good idea"' I said. "It'll have to be made of a light material."
"Like cotton?" asked Percy.
"Yeah! Cotton, eh Martin?" asked Dave, nudging my arm. I winced - he had not forgotten about it, as I had been hoping.
"There's nothing wrong with that material," said Cotton. "It's my favourite. That's why I use it as my spy name."
"And that's why I use 'Wool'," said Wool. "Although my financial position has since improved to the point where I can afford the finest silks, but it's too late to change my name now that my reputation has been built on it."
"I always wanted to be a spy," said Errant. "I'd have called myself 'Asbestos', and I'd have been really sneaky, sly and cunning."
"Wouldn't it be great if the three of us became spies?" Dave asked Percy and I. "We could be Nylon, Polyester and Acrylic, the three amigos, or musketeers, or whatever."
"Look, I think we've wandered off the subject here!" I told everyone. "What sort of outfit do you think I should change into?"
"One like mine would look very smart.." said Percy. who had changed into an Italian suit overnight. How he kept cool beats me.
"What are you wearing, Dave?" I asked the air.
"Not much," he replied. "Any clothes other than the ones I became invisible in show up, so to stay cool I just take some clothes off. You wouldn't even know if I was running around naked! Unless you bumped into me, of course."
"What an appalling idea," shuddered Paularda.
This wasn't getting me anywhere. "Some clothes suitable for this temperature," I told the Hat. From it I drew a big blue baggy T-shirt and some shorts like Randall was wearing. I used a spell which changed the positions of my two outfits so I was wearing the cool one and the Eschian one was on the ground. Now I could switch between them as befitted the temperature or occasion. It was a convenient arrangement, as they never got dirty either - I just put them back in the Hat at the end on each day and the next morning, they came out clean and washed! I told everyone else the trick, and it added to our collection of 'Hat-Tricks'. We could have written a book full of them, if they were widely available.
That afternoon in the car we started to talk about home, which made me feel homesick for the first time in ages. I had been gone for well over a month now - my parents must have given me up for lost! I voiced my concerns to the others.
"Oh. that'll be all right!" exclaimed Percy. "When we explain to our families what we have been doing, I am sure that they will be entirely magnanimous towards us."
I got a dictionary out - it said 'magnanimous' was an adjective meaning 'forgiving'. Percy had been getting very irritating of late - still, I had to put up with it.
"I'm not too sure I want to go back, actually." said Dave. "I know I was a bit reluctant at the start, but this travelling through amazing worlds lark has been dead exciting. Why don't you leave me behind?" I was not particularly opposed to that idea, personally.
"We'll need as many people as we can get to corroborate our story," Percy told him. "That includes you."
"And me?" asked Errant eagerly.
"You're a Prince," I reminded him. "You have a duty to stay here, and eventually rule the kingdom." Besides, I didn't WANT Errant to come with us.
"I don't want to be a King!" he protested. "You never get to do anything fun, it's just endless boring conferences and visits to shopping centres. I want to be free, to roam strange lands having exciting adventures!"
"Isn't that what your parents are doing right now?" Dave painted out.
"That's different," said Errant, without expanding upon this answer.
"Besides, Kramus would not transport someone to another world unless it were absolutely essential," said Percy. "In the end, it will just be the three of us returning to Earth by ourselves."
We were silent for a while as we digested this sobering yet incredibly obvious fact.
As it grew dark, we parked the cars. The mountains were at last in sight, only a few hours' drive away. Randall came up to me dressed in noble-looking garments - a kind of green suit with red bits around the edge.
"I think we should have our meals inside one of the buildings this evening," he suggested. "Much more comfortable than eating out, in this hot, sticky weather."
"Good idea," I told him. "Get your palace out."
"Oo-er!" said Dave. "Sorry."
Randall took off his Hat and drew out an identical palace to the one which he, Ahlania and Errant had slept in the previous night; in fact, it was probably the exact same one. We could see little of it in the poor light, except the great entrance with a torch stuck in the wall next to it, and the two stone lions on either side.
I magically changed into my Eschian uniform, then we all entered the palace. Chandeliers sprinkled with lit candles hung from the roof every few feet along the chessboard-tiled corridor, lighting our progress. The walls were lined with portraits of people in fine clothes who were evidently past rulers. Several passages and doors led off, but Randall did not stop us until the end of the hall, when we came to the dining room. This contained a large round table, made of gold, with ornately crafted legs: a fireplace, with a large bronze fireguard; hordes of paintings on the walls; and little else. I was filled with a sense of awe and occasion - I had visited places like this, but only to look round, never to have dinner with the owners!
Garbaleth took some burning logs from his Hat, which took considerable skill, and threw them on the fireplace. We sat down. Randall sat next to me. then came Ahlania, Mouth, a space for Dave from which his voice came, Percy, Cotton, Wool, Garbaleth, Paularda and Errant on the other side of me. I had managed to sit almost exactly opposite Cotton, but Percy had got the space next to her, which slightly annoyed me.
From her Hat Ahlania puled out all the food and set it on the table. She then pulled out thirteen hot plates and cutlery, which we nabbed for ourselves then put the food up. We each got our own drink - wine for most of them, but orange juice for Errant & I, tea for Percy (as always) and a strange, vile-smelling green brew for Garbalethwhich had smoke emitting from it. Nobody could bring themselves to ask him what it was.
Conversation was rather slow to get off the mark, so Percy decided to take the initiative and ask Cotton "What sort of musical instruments do you have in your part of The World?"
"Well, I enjoy playing the piano." said Cotton.
"What a coincidence!" exclaimed Percy. "So do I!" Percy's family had a piano in their house, as well as everything else. Dave and I could just about play an electronic keyboard, providing it had the notes written on the keys in felt-tip pen.
"How strange, the same musical instrument evolving in two different worlds," remarked Cotton.
"They're probably called different things," said Percy. "I have had an operation which makes me hear words in one language as the equivalent in mine, and say that language's equivalent. Your word for 'piano' is probably not 'piano', if you see what I mean."
"Perfectly," replied Cotton.
Their conversation continued in the same vein throughout the meal, with Wool and I looking on jealously. I had imagined starting a conversation with Cotton in a similar way, but because of my shyness and hesitation Percy had beaten me to it. I began to feel exceedingly jealous of him for being able to chat to her when I was not.
Errant nudged my elbow. "Percy's well in with Cotton. isn't he?" he chuckled. "Wonder what Wool's going to say about this?" If he felt half the things I felt for her, he would probably say quite a lot, I imagined.
"If I were Wool, I would give Percy a good ticking-off." said Randall. "Lucky for him that he decided not to chat up Ahlania!"
"I am perfectly capable of fending off any unwanted suitors, thank you very much!" exclaimed Ahlania. "I'm not the innocent young girl you married, you know! I can look after myself!"
"Pardon me for breathing," said Randall. "Next time the goblin hordes of Kharmak-Armelion kidnap you, I'll remember that. You can look after yourself. Fine by me."
"They're always like this," whispered Errant. "Don't pay any attention."
"I wasn't," I said, truthfully.
"I can't see why they got married, really. It's not like they have anything in common, like Percy and Cotton do."
Percy and Cotton. So they were an item now. I watched, with mounting anger, as they laughed at the mess each other made whilst eating the fluffy pink dessert. Something would have to be done.
After the meal, we split up and wandered round the palace. Percy produced a piano from his Hat, at which he and Cotton sat down to play a duet. I decided to leave, for fear of letting my rage get the better of me, and producing a machine-gun from my Hat to shoot Percy with. After a few minutes of wandering through the corridors and peering at the plaques underneath the paintings (with names like Folicarkin II, Eleventh Emperor) I met up with Wool. who was in a similarly angry state.
"Just listen," he said. I listened to the sound of a Beethoven Piano Sonata (or something)played by two talented pianists wafting down the corridor. "Cotton hasn't spoken to me all evening. She's besotted with that Percy creep, you can tell."
"I know, it's shocking," I sympathised, realising how I could turn the situation to my advantage by subtly manipulating Wool into wanting to blow Percy's brains out. "Percy's normally an intelligent, level-headed guy. I guess love changes everyone."
"But I'M in love with her!" Woo! told me. "I want to marry her, for the sake of a dead herring!" They had very strange religious ideas in that part of the World, you must understand - on Earth he would have said "For God's sake".
"Well, you should do something about it, then," I told him. "Tell her she's spending too much time with Percy and has to choose between you and him." That would rid me of one rival at least, I thought. And if the loser killed the winner out of jealousy, I would have been ecstatically happy.
"Brilliant!" he exclaimed. "A bit coarse, but then you don't have my experience of bargaining behind you. I should be able to phrase my ultimatum so that she decides in my favour." He strode off towards the music room. I followed, feeling like a general waiting for the battle to commence and wondering it his plan would work or not.
When we got there, the music stopped. Wool stomped in, whilst I waited at the doorway.
"Hello!" said Percy cheerfully. I would have been similarly cheerful if Cotton had been with me all evening.
"Hello yourself," snarled Wool. "Cotton, you've been fawning round him all evening, and it's just not good enough. You must decide who you want to spend all your time with - him or me." His bargaining experience must have flown out of the window, I thought wryly.
"Well, that's easy," said Cotton. Wool smiled. "You're just a jealous and possessive turnip! Percy is my friend, and if I can't enjoy myself with him and be your girlfriend at the same time, then I know which one to let go. It's all over between us, Wool!" She turned away and began playing again. Darn. I thought. I should have had my diary recording!
Wool walked back over to me. "Well, throw me in a dragon's den and shout 'GRUB UP!'" he said, astounded. "She's dumped me!"
"It was probably just in the heat of the moment." I told him. "By tomorrow she'll be begging you to take her back." I sincerely hoped that she would not be, but I had to cheer him up.
"Perhaps," said Wool dubiously. "For now, I wish I'd become an assassin instead of a spy."
"You'll feel better in the morning," I said, not wanting anyone to die because of my machinations. "Sleep on it, she may have changed her mind by then."
"Good idea," he sighed. "Not that I'll be able to get any sleep."
We went outside and produced our sleeping buildings. Wool slunk dejectedly into his house, while I went into my hotel room. shut the door, jumped on the bed and started to record my diary.
"Day Five." I began. "Blimey, only five days since Dionasky Market! Seems like a lifetime. Anyway. we've been in the cars all day, and we are within sight of the mountains. We had dinner in the palace this evening. Percy and Cotton suddenly became good friends, which annoyed Wool so much that he asked Cotton to choose between them, and Percy won. The jammy little b..." I paused it. Should I tell the diary all my secrets? Oh, it couldn't hurt - I carried it around with me all the time anyway, ever since that time Focus discovered it. "I expect you're wondering why my feelings towards Percy have changed so dramatically. Well, there are several reasons. Firstly, yesterday he tried to start a rumour about Cotton and ME. I now realise that he only said that to draw suspicion off Cotton and HIM." Of course, I had played just as big a part in it, but my reasoning was not exactly straight then. "And now there's this thing with him and Cotton! Now she's dumped Wool, Percy's her closest friend! He's bound to get involved with her now!" Again, I had contributed towards that, but nobody's perfect. "Things are certainly getting complicated around here. What'll happen next, I wonder? Errant running off with Paularda? Garbaleth turning out to be Ahlania's long-lost father? Who knows? Who cares?" I switched it off, changed into my pyjamas and went to sleep.