THE WEDDING
SERVICE
GENERAL DIRECTIONS:
1. Persons who desire to
be married in the Methodist Church must approach the
Minister before giving notice to the Registrar
(giving notice is the equivalent to
the reading of the Banns in the Parish Church).
The Minister shall advise them of the legal
preliminaries to the solemnization of
marriages, such as -
a) the
requirements about residence in a given registration district;
b) the
parental consent needed by minors (those under 18 years of age); and
c) the
three weeks' notice to be given to a Registrar before a certificate is issued
(forty-eight hours
for a certificate with licence).
You will need to take your birth certificates,
your decree absolute, if you are
divorced, or a death certificate if you have been
widowed and wish to re-marry.
The Minister shall also ascertain whether there
is any impediment to the
proposed marriage - e.g. not contracting bigamous
or incestuous relationships.
2. For the purposes of law, the
Minister may not proceed with the ceremony until he
is in possession of a valid certificate or
certificates (with or without licence)
relating to the marriage. (Having given notice,
the Registrar displays the
certificate for three weeks, after which she will
inform you of the date on which
you can collect it and it would be helpful to
make sure the Minister gets it as soon
as possible after that).
3. In addition to making
preparations for the carrying out of the service and
indicating to the couple what they will have to
say and do during the ceremony,
the Minister shall ensure that the Christian
understanding of marriage and its
obligations is explained to the couple.
4. Apart from the legal form of
words, where it is necessary to use the full names, it
is desirable and more personal to use only the
Christians names of the couple.
5. The current cost of a
wedding ceremony is £140 (as at 1/9/03). The break-down of the costs are
as follows: £70 chapel hire; £35
minister’s fee; £25 organist’s fee & £10 steward’s fee.
N.B. In the service the symbols
%% and $$ are used for the groom's and bride's Christian names, and %%% and $$$
for their full names.
THE SERVICE:
1. [The persons to be married
stand together, the woman on the left hand of the
man, in the presence of two witnesses (who
must be over 16 years of age and
be able to see and hear what happens).
The Bride usually processes into the church on
the right arm of the person who
is giving her "away" (Father or
friend) whilst some suitable music is played (the
most popular being the "Bridal
March" by Wagner), the Groom and Best Man
wait at the front of the church. As the Bride enters the church the congregation
stand. When the Bride has reached the front
she may pass her bouquet to her
Bride's-maid or to the Minister to place it
on the Communion Table, she may
also remove her veil from over her face if
she is wearing one].
2. [A hymn, of your choice, may
be sung]
The Declaration of Purpose -
3. [The people standing the
Minister says:]
We
are gathered here in the presence of God to witness the marriage of
%%
and $$,
to
support them with our prayers and to share in their joy. Marriage is given
by
God. It is not to be entered upon or thought of lightly or selfishly; but
responsibly
and in the love of God.
According
to the teaching of Christ, marriage is the life-long union in body,
mind
and spirit, of one man and one woman. It is his will that in marriage the
love
of man and woman should be fulfilled in the wholeness of their life
together,
in mutual companionship, helpfulness and care. By the help of God
this
love grows and deepens with the years.
Such
marriage is the foundation of true family life, and, when blessed with
the
gift of children, is God's chosen way for the continuance of mankind and
the
bringing up of children in security and trust.
The
union of husband and wife is in Scripture compared to the union of
Christ
and his Church, for he loved the Church and gave himself for it.
%%
and $$ are now to marry each other, and to seek God's blessing for
their
married life. If anyone knows of any reason why they may not lawfully
marry,
let him now declare it.
The Legal Declarations -
4. [The Minister says to the
persons who are to be married:]
I
require and charge you both in the presence of God and of this congre-
gation
that if either of you knows anything to prevent you from being lawfully
married
you do now confess it.
5. [The man says in the
presence of the authorized person (the Minister) and the
two witnesses, as required by law:]
I
do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I,
%%%,
may
not be joined in matrimony to $$$.
[The woman says, in the presence of the same
persons, as required by law:]
I
do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I,
$$$,
may
not be joined in matrimony to %%%.
[These declarations are usually split into short
phrases which are repeated after
the Minister]
The Collect -
6. [The Congregation sit. The
Minister says:]
Let us pray.
Almighty
God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from
whom
no secrets are hidden: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the
inspiration
of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily
magnify
your holy Name, through Christ our Lord. Amen.
The Confession -
7. [The Minister may say:]
O
God, your generous love surrounds us, and everything we enjoy comes
from
you. We confess our ingratitude for
your goodness and our selfishness
in
using your gifts. We ask you to
forgive us, and to fill us with true thank-
fulness,
through Jesus Christ our Saviour, whom with you and the Holy
Spirit
we praise and worship for ever. Amen.
The Ministry of the Word -
8. [The Minister reads a Bible
Reading of your choice from the following selection:]
a)
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not
arrogant or
rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it
does
not rejoice at wrong but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things,
believes
all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as
for
prophecies they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for
knowledge,
it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and our
prophecy
is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass
away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I
reasoned
like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For
now we see in the mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part;
then
I shall understand fully; even as I have been fully understood.
So faith,
hope,
love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love. It is love,
then,
that you should strive for (1 Corinthians 13: 4-13; 14: 1).
b)
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family
in
heaven
and earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may
grant
you to be strengthened with might through his Spirit in the inner man,
and
that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted
and
grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints
what
is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of
Christ
which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the
fullness
of God (Ephesians 3: 14-19).
c)
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kind-
ness,
lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one
has
a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has for-
given
you, so you also must forgive. And
above all these put on love, which
binds
everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ
rule
in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.
And be
thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.
And whatever you do, in
word
or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to
God
the Father through him (Colossians 3: 12-16a, 17).
The Vows -
9. [All stand and the Minister
says:]
O
God, as you have brought %% and $$
together
in love and trust, enable them through the power of your Holy Spirit
to
make and keep their vows, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
10. [The Minister says to the
man:]
%%,
will you take $$
to
be your lawful wedded wife, to live together according to the law of God in
the
holy estate of marriage? Will you love her, honour and keep her, and for-
saking
all others be faithful to her so long as you both shall live?
11. [The man answers:]
I
will.
12. [The Minister says to the
woman:]
$$,
will you take %%
to
be your lawful wedded husband, to live together according to the law of
God
in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love him, honour and keep him,
and
forsaking all others be faithful to him so long as you both shall live?
13. [The woman answers:]
I
will.
14. [The Minister may say to
the father or friend:]
Do
you present $$ to be married to %%?
[Then the father or friend answers:]
I
do.
15. [The father or friend then
joins the right hand of the woman to the right hand of
the man. They turn to face each other
and the man says in the presence of the
Minister and the two witnesses:]
I
call upon these persons here present to witness that I,
%%%,
do take thee, $$$,
to
be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for
better
for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to
cherish,
till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and to this I pledge
myself.
16. [The woman then says in the
presence of the same persons:]
I
call upon these persons here present to witness that I,
$$$,
do take thee, %%%,
to
be my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward,
for
better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and
to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law; and to this I
pledge
myself.
[These promises are usually split
into short phrases, which are repeated after
the Minister]
The Giving of the Ring(s) -
17. [The man and the woman
loose hands, and the ring(s) are laid on the book by
the Best Man; and the Minister
says the prayer of blessing over them:]
Bless,
Lord, the giving of these rings (this ring), that they who wear them (he
that
gives it and she who wears it) may ever be faithful one to the other, and
continue
together in love, as long as they both shall live, through Jesus
Christ
our Lord. Amen.
18. [The Minister offers the
ring to the woman, who puts it on the fourth finger of the
man's left hand. The man then
puts the woman's ring one the fourth finger of
her left hand, and holding it
in position the man and the woman say together:]
With
these rings (this ring) we pledge ourselves to each other, in the Name
of
the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
19. [The man and the woman join
their rights hands and the Minister says:]
%%
and $$
have
together made their covenant before God and this company; they have
made
their vows to each other, and have shown their consent by joining their
hands
and by giving and receiving rings (a ring). I therefore pronounce them
to
be husband and wife, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of
the
Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together let no man put
asunder.
20. [The Minister then places
his right hand on their joined hands for the blessing:]
God
the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, protect and guide
you.
The Lord pour out the riches of his grace upon you, that you may live
together
in his peace, and finally, by his mercy, obtain everlasting life. Amen.
21. [The couple may kiss]
22. [A hymn of your choice may
be sung]
The Address
The Intercessions -
23. [The couple kneel as the
Minister says:]
Let
us pray.
All
grace comes from you, O God, and you alone are the source of eternal
life.
Bless your servants %% and $$
That
they may faithfully live together to the end of their lives.
Be
with them in all their happiness
That
your joy may be in them, and their joy may be full.
Strengthen
them in every time of trouble.
That
they may carry each other's burdens and so fulfil the law of
Christ.
Let
your blessing be on their home
That
your peace may dwell there.
Let
it be a place of welcome
That
its happiness may be freely shared.
Continue
to bless the families and friends of %% and $$
That
we may be united in love and friendship.
[Additional prayers, printed at the
end, may be inserted here]
Now
to him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you faultless
before
the presence of his glory with rejoicing, to the only God, our Saviour,
through
Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority,
both
now and for ever. Amen.
The Lord's Prayer -
24. [The Lord's Prayer will be
found at the end of the hymn book]
Our
Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come;
thy
will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And
forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And
lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. For thine is the
kingdom,
the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
The Thanksgiving -
25. [All stand and the Minister
says:]
Praise
God, King of the Universe, who has created all things, and people in
his
own image.
Praise
God, who has created courtship and marriage, joy and gladness,
feasting
and laughter, pleasure and delight, love, brotherhood, peace and
fellowship.
Praise
God, who has sent Jesus Christ to save us from sin and redeem our
love
from selfishness, and has given us the Holy Spirit to make us one with
each
other and with him.
26. [A hymn of your choice may
be sung]
The Blessing -
27. [The Minister says:]
The
grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship
of
the Holy Spirit, be with you all. Amen.
The Signing of the Registers -
28. [The congregation remain in
the church until the couple process through it. An
offering plate is provided at
the door for gifts towards the work of God in the
church.
Confetti may be thrown outside the church.]
The Wedding March -
29. [This is usually the one by
Mendelssohn, but it can be any suitable music of
your choice.]
ADDITIONAL PRAYERS:
For Christian Family Life:
1. Blessed Lord, the author and giver of all good things, in
whom is fullness of joy,
send down your blessing, we beseech
you, upon your servants whom you have
joined as man and wife. Surround them
with your good gifts. Bless them in each
other, and both in the knowledge of
Christ your Son our Lord. Amen.
2. O God our Father, we thank you for uniting %% and $$ in
love. Watch over
them, guide and protect them, and
give them faith and patience; that all their
days they may draw strength from you
and from each other, through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen.
3. O Lord our God, help %%
and $$ to maintain love and
faithfulness to each
other as long as they live. May their
vows be strengthened and confirmed by
your power, so that all their hopes
may be fulfilled in accordance with your will.
Amen.
For the gift of children:
4. O Father, in whom all parenthood has its beginning, in
whom we live, and
through whose power we share the work
of creation, we pray for this husband
and wife, that they may receive the
gift of children, and with the help of your
Holy Spirit may bring up their family
in the Christian faith and life. We ask this
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
5. We pray for %% and $$ that in their marriage all your will
for them may be ful-
filled; bestow upon them the gift and
heritage of children; and endue them with
all the gifts and graces needed for
wise parenthood; through Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.
For concerns outside the family:
6. O Lord Jesus Christ, who on the cross remembered your
mother and your
friend,
make our homes to be homes of love. Spread your grace over every
relationship of human life, so that
all our earthly love may be gathered up into
the love of God. Amen.
7. O Lord Jesus Christ, from whom we learn that true love is
unselfish, help us
at this time of our rejoicing to
remember the lonely, the bereaved, and those
whose homes are broken. Amen.
When there are children already in the family:
8. O God our Father, we thank you for our children; and we
ask that we may so
show our love and thankfulness that
the example of our lives and teaching may
guide them in the way of
righteousness and love, through Jesus Christ our
Lord. Amen.
9. Almighty God our Father, whose Son Jesus Christ shared the
life of the house
as Nazareth, grant that marriage may
be held in honour among us. Grant that
parents and children may live
together in peace and understanding; and make
every Christian home a school of
truth and goodness, through Jesus Christ,
who entered an earthly family to
bring us heavenly life. Amen.
NOTES ON THE DECISIONS THAT YOU
NEED TO MAKE
1. Give notice to the Registrar
at least one month before wedding date but the
certificate is only valid for three months.
2. Decide the music to enter
and leave the church by, and during the signing of the
Registers.
3. Decide the Hymns
4. Decide the Reading(s)
5. Decide on any additional
prayers
6. Make arrangements for
flowers in the church
7. If you wish to print out the
service you may include the Prayers of Intercession so
that everyone can join in the responses.
8. If you wish to Video the
service there will also be an additional fee of £40. This
covers the cost of the Copyright License for the
church and an additional fee for
the organist as s/he is being recorded.
9. The fees for the church,
caretaker/steward, organist and registration (but not for
use of video, see above) will be £125.00,
payable in advance please.
The most popular music for
entering and leaving the church:
The Bridal
March by Wagner
The Wedding
March by Mendelssohn
Trumpet
Voluntary by Jeremiah Clarke
Trumpet Tune
and Air by Purcell
The Bridal
March by Handel
Jesu
Joy of Man's Desiring by Bach
Toccata and
Fugue by Widor
Entry of the
Queen of Sheba
The most popular hymns:
All things
bright and beautiful
Amazing
grace. How sweet the sound
Great is thy
faithfulness
Lead us,
heavenly Father, lead us
Lord of all
hopefulness
Love divine,
all loves excelling
Morning has
broken
Now thank we
all our God
O perfect
love, all human thought transcending
O
worship the King, all glorious above
Praise my
soul the King of heaven
The King of
love my Shepherd is
The Lord's my
Shepherd