If you are new to BDSM you might be wondering what it's all about, or whether we are a bunch of dangerous nutcases!  So we've done a FAQ to tell you a bit more about us and the scene. If you have another question let us know and we'll do our best to answer it on this page.

What sort of practices happen at Purple Passions?

You will find a diverse bunch of friends at Purple Passions. Common forms of play include bondage, sensation play, whipping and flogging, domination and submission play, and much more...

Tastes in sexuality are an individual choice but we embrace the BDSM slogan of being Safe, Sane and Consensual.

If we come will we be expected to take part in group sex or swinging?

Absolutely not!  Although some people in the scene are also swingers all are expected to respect others and their choices.  We have a relaxed approach and wouldn't want anyone to feel they had to take part in anything they didn't want to. Many people who come to purple passions are in established relationships and don't have any interest in playing with others.  Some of us just like to socialise with others where we can wear what we like, and have access to great play furniture.

IS BDSM abnormal?

Part of us likes to think it is! There is an eroticism about that which is deviant, and does not conform to the norm.  But in reality S/M is a sexual orientation that is found in a significant percentage of the population. Surveys have listed S/M behaviour by as much as 7 to 14 % of the population, with interests at up to 50% of the population. To see the prevalence, just look at the public's interest in movies, books, and other artistic expressions with S/M as the dominant theme. After all, Hollywood would not invest money if there was not a large interest. Historically, S/M behaviour was listed as a psychological problem, as was masturbation and homosexuality. Today, however, these various orientations are not considered a problem as long as everything is consensual.

Why do you do BDSM?

Probably this question has as many answers as there are people in the scene. Some develop a real enjoyment of the physical sensations of play, which gives them otherwise unknown feelings of sexual fulfilment. Many people see it as a way to 'spice up' or bring variety to their sexual relationship. Some find psychological release or liberation, e.g. the high powered executive who in play can relinquish power and just do what he is told. Many would say it helps bring a balance to their life by being able to 'act out' facets of their character which may not have an outlet in daily life.  Many find it a relief and a joy to have a relationship in which sex and fantasy can be openly shared and channelled into safe, sane and consensual outlets. Some enjoy the chivalry and protection they feel in BDSM relationships. For all these reasons there is often a spiritual quality in BDSM play and relationships. Others say it's just Damn good fun!

Don't you inflict pain?

We like to think we inflict pleasure! In BDSM we are exploring what is erotic. We do not use S/M to release repressed anger or covert hatred.  It is acting out scenes for mutual pleasure - in many ways it is like theatre.

S/M does not feel like what it looks like to outsiders. In the model of the popular press, and much pornography the dominant or sadist does as he/she wishes, without regard to the needs of the submissive or masochist. Activities such as whipping feel very different when administered by a dominant in an erotic scene that they do if done violently. Endorphins and arousal make it a sensual experience. S/M Players practice good communications up front, the use of "safe" words that will stop the action if the submissive ever feels the event is not working, and a time of communications after the event so that both parties can learn and so that the next time will be even better.

Not all players like or practise pain - many prefer restriction through bondage, sensory deprivation through blindfolds or just hot kinky sex.

Is BDSM Play dangerous?

S/M is not especially dangerous. There is of course a degree of risk in any sport or adventurous activity, and being aware of this players take all reasonable safety precautions. Some S/M activities are more athletic than others. For more strenuous activities the individuals should be in good physical shape, just as for any other sport. For most S/M activities the players must know what they are doing. The shared education and experience of other players can be invaluable.

Can we watch others playing?

It can be exciting to watch other couples at play - but we also respect those who may not be into exhibitionism or voyeurism. Play is forbidden in the chill out zone, so it's perfectly possible to just come and socialise and have a little private play if you want. Purple Passions is the perfect adult playroom - whatever tickles your fancy.

Is BDSM sexist?

S/M is not sexist. Sexism tries to impose dominant-submissive roles according to gender. In S/M roles are chosen according to our inner feelings. Women and men are both free to chose dominant or submissive roles, or to switch between the two. S/M is honest, shared eroticism. BDSM embraces people of every culture, background, size, shape, orientation and colour.

Will we find a partner at your Parties?

We think socialising at parties like ours is a great way to find out more about the scene, and get ideas and find out what is going on.  This we feel is also far safer than simply meeting people from the internet on a one to one basis. So in that sense you may find it helpful. But we're not providing a venue with speed dating for singles and it's not a pick up place for casual sex!

Where can we find out more about BDSM?

Find out about BDSM at Informed Consent or Wikipedia.