Handwritten notice, seen in a local shop window at Christmas:
As from today,we will cease trading. We would like to congratulate the owner, Mr ***** ******* , for effectively putting us out of work 2 days before Christmas. Nice one, *****. We haven't received any wages for the last 2 days and on top of that, we have suffered the publics complaints & sneers about the lack of stock for over 10 months... all thanks to you, ***** *******. We are both extremely pleased to finally be able to say to you:
"SHOVE THIS STINKING SHOP AND RUN IT YOURSELF".
On a lighter note, thank you to all our customers and we would like to wish you all a "Very Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year"
Cambridgeshire
Click Oliver Cromwell (who once lived here) to go to contents list.
A personal view
by Philip Grosset
URINATORS WILL BE CLAMPED!
CONTRARY to the rumours being circulated throughout the length and breadth of this pleasant land by wishful thinkers, GEORGE, chief of the Loadsa Cobblers, is NOT retiring in the immediate future. (Indeed people who know him say that he is the least retiring person of their acquaintance!) He will continue to slave away, repairing shoes, cutting keys, talent spotting and enlivening the days of his regular customers with a merry quip, for many moons to come.
You Have Been Warned!!!
Potto Brown used to take the ledgers listing money owed him to chapel, and then read out the names of all his debtors, praying for God's help to get the debts repaid. This embarrassed his debtors, who, it is said, tended to pay up just before the service!
He made the major contribution towards the cost of building the new Free Church in St Ives (1864), but then stayed away from the opening ceremony. His £3000 had paid for the basic building, but he didn't really approve of the steeple and what he thought was unnecessary decoration, so he left other people to contribute the extra £2000 required. The story that he deliberately arranged for the spire to be a few feet higher than that of the parish church is untrue, as it isn't!He did not like having his photograph taken, so this memorial bust, erected in 1879 in the centre of Houghton, was the work of a local farmer, who had never done anything artistic before, but who was guided by an existing pencil sketch.
I don't suppose that Potto (that was his mother's maiden name) Brown would have been at all amused to find himself listed here under Oddities! But, if you go to see his statue today, you'll find another oddity: he's been painted green - the work of vandals years ago. Perhaps they too should have had their names read out in church ....
There's also a photo of the sheep market with the Free Church in the background taken in the 1880s.
Look at the door. There is no door knob or letterbox. The reason is that the doors (and the chimneys) are dummies, just intended to add to the appearance of the place.
Go on to MORE ODDITIES OF ST IVES