WELCOME TO SUFFOLK ROCK NEWS THE LATEST AND GREATEST ONLINE MUSIC MAGAZINE.
HERE I SHALL BE CASTING MY USUAL CRITICAL EYE ON WHATS HOT AND WHATS NOT  MUSICALLY IN SUFFOLK

MY FIRST REVIEW BEGINS WITH THE LEGENDARY ANNUAL ROCK BATTLE WHERE NEW LOCAL BANDS COMPETE FOR A CRUMMY CUP BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY THE RESPECT OF THEIR PEERS. FIRST UP WERE THE COSMIC SANDS. I HAVE LITTLE TO SAY ON THIS BAND OTHER THAN, "LAST YEARS WINNERS" DID ANYONE ELSE TURN UP? I'M SORRY IF I SOUND A BIT HARSH BUT THERE'S NO ROOM IN THIS BUSINESS FOR WANNABE'S.

WHEN YOU'VE TOURED WITH THE LIKES OF DEEP PURPLE, SAXON, MOTORHEAD TO NAME JUST A FEW I THINK I'VE EARNED THAT RIGHT. MORE ON THAT LATER. NEXT COME THE HOBO SPANKING SEXUAL'S. NOT BAD, THEY'RE OWN MATERIAL HAD POTENTIAL BUT  WHEN THEY ATTEMPTED TO COVER THE ELO CLASSIC MR BLUE SKY JOSH THE LEAD SINGER WAS WISHING HIS BALLS HADN'T DROPPED THE WEEK BEFORE.

THIRD BAND ON, GOWN PLEASE. NOW THIS IS A BAND WITH SOME POTENTIAL. VERY TIGHT PERFORMANCE SMOOTH CHANGES IN TEMPO AND A FANTASTIC ROCK VERSION OF COME ON EILEEN BY DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS. CROWD PLEASERS AND THIS YEARS WINNERS. BUT ONE CAN'T HELP BUT THINK IF THIS WAS DOWN TO ONE BAND MEMBER. THE DRUMMER TOD EMANUEL, FRONT MAN, BACKING, SOUND EFFECTS AND GOOD ON THE SKINS. WATCH OUT FOR THIS FELLA.

FINALLY AFTER LISTENING TO WHAT WILL SOON BECOME THE REST COMES THE BEST. THE BAND THAT EVERYONE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR, THE BAND THEY HAD COME TO SEE, THE ONLY BAND THAT MATTERED. WITH A ROAR OF EXCITEMENT AND ANTICIPATION
CENTRAL NERVE TOOK TO THE STAGE.

NOT WANTING TO KEEP THEIR FANS WAITING THE LADS KICKED OFF THEY'RE SET WITH A STONKING RENDITION OF METALLICA'S SEEK AND DESTROY, TOM'S HEART STOPPING DRUMMING, WILLIAMS WAILING GUITAR ALEX.D THUMPING ON BASS AND THE POWERFUL VOICE OF ALEX.H BLENDING TOGETHER IN A FRENZY SOUND THAT WOULD MAKE A DEAF MAN WEEP. THE ENERGY THESE GUY'S GIVE ON STAGE LEAVES THE AUDIENCE EXHAUSTED

NEXT WE WERE GIVEN A REAL GIFT. THEY'RE NEW SINGLE "TAKEN" AND WHEN THEY PROMISED US WE WOULD NOT BE DISAPPOINTED BOY WERE THEY NOT LYING. THERE'S ONLY ONE WORD THAT CAN DESCRIBE THESE BOYS, HEAVY AND LOUD. (well i guess that's two words but if i was to use one it would have to be "leavy" or "houd"  and I'm not sure if they are real words) ANY HOO FINALLY WHEN WE THINK IT'S OVER THEY DELIVER THEY'RE OWN VERSION

OF UNITED STATES OF WHATEVER. COULD WE HAVE HOPED FOR ANYTHING MORE FROM THESE LEGENDS OF ROCK, NO WE COULD NOT! THEY CAME, THEY ROCKED, THEY CONQUERED. THE CROWD WAS EXUBERANT, THE LIGHTING TECHNICIANS WERE AMAZED AND THE JUDGES, WELL THEY WERE AWARDED SECOND PLACE. "SECOND PLACE" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. FOLLOWING INVESTIGATION I HAVE DISCOVERED

ONE OF THE JUDGES WAS A YANK! I ASK YOU, WHO THE HELL PUTS A YANK ON A MUSIC CONTEST PANEL. THEY CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ENEMY OR ALLY. HOW CAN THIS VOTING BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
STILL THE FANS KNOW WHO THE REAL WINNERS WERE. THANKS FOR THE SHOW GUYS CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU AT YOUR OPEN AIR FESTIVAL THIS SUMMER AT CROWFIELD. TO BRING THE EVENING TO A CONCLUSION THE

TEACHERS OF THE SCHOOL HAD PUT TOGETHER THEIR OWN BAD "MANIC STREET TEACHERS" YAWN!  THEY CAME ONTO THE STAGE WITH THE ORGANIZATION OF A BALLOON UNDER WATER AND HAD CHOSEN TO DO THEIR VERSION OF LOVE SHACK BY THE B52'S. WITHOUT CONSULTING THE BAND THE LEAD SINGER HAD OBVIOUSLY DECIDED TO SING IN THE STYLE OF WILLIAM SHATNER "WHAT A TWAT" THE LADY ON THE BONGO'S

WITH THE TOP HAT ON WAS TRYING HER BEST TO BACK HIS "SINGING",SHE COULD PLAY WITH MY BONGO'S ANY DAY NARF NARF! DID I MENTION THE LEAD SINGER WAS A TWAT. WE HAD ERIC CLAPTON IN A PINK COWBOY HAT ON BASE, RALPH FROM THE MUPPETS ON LEAD AND THE GIRL PLAYING SAX WAS KAREN CARPENTED FRESHLY DUG UP FROM HER GRAVE. IF THATS THE STATE OF THE TEACHING STAFF NOWADAYS ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS WHAT HAPPENED TO EDUCATION. EDUCATION EDUCATION MR BLAIR.

WELL THATS IT FOR NOW MY NURSE IS COMING TO GIVE ME MY INJECTIONS
TA TA FOR NOW
FRANKIE

2nd EDITION SPELL CHECKED 23-03-2007  SORRY MISS