(Not so) Frequently Asked Questions
Q. What does F.A.Q. mean ?
A. We'll get back to you on that one (strange, that one is frequently asked).
Q. Where is the BOF's F.A.Q page ?
A. It was here a few weeks ago.
Q. What sort of shed is suitable for bike restoration?
A. One that is big enough for you the bike and a crate of brown ale.
Q "I am thinking about buying a new shed to house a long term
restoration project, consisting of a 1962 Royal Enfield "Super Meteor" with
some Suzuki parts(ie. engine, frame, wheels etc.). I would like to get the
opinion of some of those "surfers" out there, as to which type of shed would
be most suitable for this activity. Should it have ship-lap or log-lap
panels ? Is a plywood base essential for motor-cycle weighing over 392 lbs,
that leaks 0.8534 pints of oil per week ? Is "28 kg heavy-duty mineral felt"
really necessary, considering the average Cambridge rainfall of 35.64 inches
per annum ? Which direction should the windows face, in order to minimise
paint fade ? Should I go for the extended height roof, in order to get a
really good swing with a 4lb club-hammer ?
Arthur "no-sheds" Jackson (Boring Old Fart).
Q. What is "boring" about the BOFs ? Answers on a postcard to contain not less than 50,000 words, please.
Q. Is the BOF's going to become a Dot-Com company ? ( Dot Cotton more like)
A. Where can I sell my shares ?
Q. I have a 1948 BSA Bantam fitted with a Hayabasu engine, what sort of brakes would the BOF's recommend for this bike ?
A. Forget the cost of expensive brakes, instead use the money to pre-book a bed in private intensive-care ward.
Q. I intend to enter my home-built 1000cc V-twin racing bike in WSB racing. Will the BOF's sponsor me ?
A. Not unless it can break the Brands Hatch lap record, with Foggy riding it with one arm tied behind his back.
Q. Does any one at the club have any experience of making exhaust silencers from old coffee tins ?
A. Funny you should ask that one....
Q. I currently own 27 motorcycles, but I spend so much time trying to decide which one to ride, I don't get around to riding any of them. Any suggestions to end this dilemma ? Concerned, Al Garve
A. Sell 26 of them, to me, for £5.00 each.
Q. If I join the BOF's do I get discount on such accessories as stair-lifts, zimmer frames, etc?
A. No, but a 10% discount on hearing aids, made by Marshall, is available. They're a bit large, but sound quality is excellent.
Q. I've been offered a WW-II dispatch riders coat, at a very reasonable cost, what should I use to patch the bullet holes ?
A. Marine grade tarpaulin would be a good match, or failing that, cut a piece from the Millennium Dome roof, as they won't be needing it for much longer.
Q. Which of Lawrence' Brough Superiors was actually used in his campaign with the Arabs?
A. The one with the pot of Vaseline under the seat.
Q. Do you have any oil trays to collect the brown translucent fluid dripping from my 1914 Ambrosia Bandit 500. Regards Colonel I.M. Sprocket - Toothless.
A. One can be purchased from BOF merchandising , very similar in size to the Tesco's economy Ice cream container, but obviously custom made for your application, £176.57 plus 34.89 P&P please state which flavour........ sorry colour.
Q. I've received the BOF Race gearing sprocket for my BSA Bantam, it appears to have a tooth missing, is that normal? Also should the high lift cam kit use Whitworth bolts.
A. The BOF Merchandising manager is out at the moment, but I think reducing the gearing by one tooth should be OK. Regarding the high lift cam for the Bantam Two Stroke, there seems to be a terrible mistake, it should of course be supplied with British Standard Pipe thread bolts. ( please send a further £264.77 and I'll pop them in the post)
Q. To increase the boredom factor please show the gearbox internals of a 175cc 1961 Fanny B. The 1 down 3 up version semi auto with slick shift alloy lever. (No synchro on reverse) Regards Avid Web- Browser.
A. Mr Web-Browser we have already displayed the above rather frank pictures but our ISP demanded we remove the material as it was causing some distress to other Internet users, and the hit counter ran out of digits. If you would like some 10x8s please contact the BOF Merchandising manager.