It was September of 1996 and one keen scene supporter, Chris, was not best pleased. He would go to the few metal shows in Portsmouth, pay over the odds to get in, watch the bands just stand there and throw rock star poses ( & mean them...) and look bloody miserable!. "Fuck this!", exclaimed our hapless warrior. At the time, Chris had pioneered the UXB collective, actively putting on 4-6 hardcore and punk bands on one bill twice a month, but one thing was missing. He wasn't in a (decent-ish) band himself! So, bored with seeing the same things over and over again, he got together with ROB, the singer from FAT BABE, to play, er, drums (!?!?) and promptly formed a punk band. Without a bassist or singer and their first gig only 3 weeks away, STEVE of the 'BABE agreed to play bass while Chris drew the short straw and was left to tackle the vocal duties ( on account of the fact that he had written the lyrics! ) . So there it was, 9 hours of practising (well, 3, actually - 6 hours of drinking) and they did their first gig playing 6 songs on October 9th 1996. They sucked.
Shortly after, Rob and Steve left to work on Fat Babes new album, leaving Chris to wonder if there was any fuggin' point. Then, he was approached by a young lady by the name of Lo claiming she could play the drums, and play she could! Far better than her predecessor, too. Bass was to prove another problem as Steve's replacement proved a constant let down ( no names mentioned ) and at Rob & Steve's last show, the soundman, K.O. asked if they needed a bassist. Needless to say that angels sang, horns fanfared and K.O was snapped up over a beer. Business as usual, they were booked to support Fat Babe on December 5th 1996 ( only one day before Chris flew off to Africa! ) , once more indulging in 9 hours of practising! This time it didn't suck as much. For the first time ever they had a moshpit, K.O. broke something and Chris sang badly ( both of which remain traditions both at practice and at gigs ) .
Whilst in Africa's sunny desert spaces, Chris found himself with a lot of time and a battered acoustic guitar, writing a four chord affair slagging off England's annoying Avon Ladies. And within the space of a month, had written 5 new songs. Once implemented in the set, the 3some went off around the area; Southampton, Bournemouth, Salisbury and almost every week at Docs in Portsmouth, plugging the choons as well as mid-set stagediving, jumping around, avoiding drumsticks and generally taking things about as seriously as a game of kiss chase with the elephant woman. During the following months, Chris went back to playing his main instrument, Bass, returning K.O. to his mother plank, the guitar, which is where improvement began to sorta take shape. But it wasn't until the end of 1997 that change was noticed, as the band found new friends in the local college crews and were asked to play at the Wedgewood Rooms.... twice!. First was supporting good mates Fat Babe and secondly, supporting rising stars, 'A'. The first of these was cool, K.O and Lo got pissed (mission accomplished!!), Chris ( having been told NOT to dive over the barriers) made it his mission to dive over the barriers and a couple of people moshed! The second show was immense! Despite having just 20 mins, they played 5 songs in a quick blast, indulged in the mandatory stagedives, and enjoyed an energetic crowd going bananas in the process!
This led onto a bit of a surge for the group as they were asked back in march 1998 by 'A' themselves to play as the only support for their Wedgewood Rooms show. The threesome had a right laugh ( despite shitting bricks beforehand ), making many new friends in the process. Shortly after they were invited by the ELASTIC FICTION collective to put the now infamous Avon Ladyshave track on their next free compilation tape. This was deemed a fine idea. Putting the song onto tape involved a shit recording session, but good fun!. The launch gig was even stranger, headlining over Red Letter Day ( a signed band at the time ). They failed to capitalise on this opportunity, however, played loosely and generally sucked. As ever, no names mentioned, but a certain Guitarist was slapped with a fish and told not to drink so bluddy much before playing EVER AGAIN.
Summer '98 saw Chris grow a 10 gallon grin and travel off round Europe for a while. Upon his return, plans were laid for a major recording beyond the demo stage. After much arguing it was decided to go for the album thing. This wasn't all, the new songs were in need of another guitary thing happening, and thus the band's long time supporter, part time driver, roadie, source of entertainment and all-round Lovely chap, Martin was asked if he'd be up for a try-out. He accepted with a smile ( a rare occurrence in those days, indeed ) and the deal was set over a beer or 12. Around this time, they were approached by some friends in Hastings about appearing on a compilation CD Nothing To Prove - they accepted again!!. Thus, they agreed funding and booked some time in a Reading studio and, in February 1999, recorded BOOZIN' MY RELIGION, plus another track for the comp CD. Pleased with the recording, the foursome (oo-er missus) agreed a deal with a friend, who eventually cashed their cheque and ran, so to speak. But zey have vays of making him pay up.
The travel bug bit Chris again as he disappeared to Greece for ten weeks leaving yet another summer break. Now returned, but with still no albums, the band were once more asked to support 'A' on the last date of their UK tour at the good old Wedgewood Rooms in Pompey, shortly followed by a request to prop up Janus Stark at Southampton's Joiner's. The 'A' gig proved a great outing, as the band made even more friends, including a guy with a Tesco.net E-mail address, a girl who wanted her belly signed, a guy who insisted on having the word 'twat' embedded on his head and once more, the hippy was too pissed to remember anything after coming off stage........good lad!.
The band are both flattered and surprised that their crap little 4 piece has moved on to attain even the slightest bit of popularity and insists on contacting everyone who is on their mailing list - YOU in other words!. Driven by a belief to put back in what they got out, they will be selling their albums for only £5, half the expected retail price. Plus T-shirts and such like will follow suit shortly.
In the wake of all this promotion and worded mischief, the band are up for playing anywhere, anytime with anyone. If you have a band, or put on gigs yourself, and don't know who to play with you, you can always be guaranteed that the INLINE SK8ING BARBIES are up for anything, from parties in your living room to an 'A' support, barmitzvahs, christenings, satanic rituals, weddings or a celebration should you win a competition or contest of any variety :) .
The band look forward to meeting you all again at a gig soon,
but feel free to
CONTACT them
whenever you want for any reason at all;
(Praise, abuse, telesales, phone sex :) )
See Ya Soon Y'All!!