Guide to what capacity off road motorcycle you should buy

DBH1a

	125cc 'trail style' bike The only excuse you have to buy one of these is if you are a spotty teenager who can't afford a proper bike or Angelo (who we believe drowned in a sea of celebrity urine at one of his coke fueled exhibitions of photography as we have not seen him for ages!). These bikes are simply not suitable for off-road riding as they shake themselves to death. People who buy these have no money and should stick to cummuting to the dole office or hanging around their local ASDA carparks as they have no place on the trails.
	125cc 2T enduro For the spotty teenager who wants to try their hand at proper enduro racing or the Ginger northerner to blast around his farm on. The only exception is those with a huge penis who do not need anything bigger to make them feel manly!
	125cc 4T enduro Usually teenage oiks that have rich parents have these. The childs father can often be seen de-ristricting it or adding a big bore kit to it because the power it comes with is complete shite. If you do feel the need to buy a 125cc 4T enduro, don't choose anything below £2000 because it will be a waste of time..... Oh, you could point them to that nice Sherco logo on the right hand side!
	KTM 200 EXC 2T Flash bastards with those weird six pack things and flat tummy can be seen aboard these. They may look fit and attractive to ladies but they usually turn out to be homosexual, salad eating bores or simply have rich parents. The only six packs any of the GLC have can be found in their fridge!
	230cc - 300cc 4T trailbike Examples are the Honda CRF230F or the Yamaha Serow. You are either a beginner, in the TRF or a Lincolnshire yellowbelly. Usually quite capable bikes but lack that 'wow factor'. No good for scaring the living daylights out of rambliars or pulling wheelies outside the chip shop. Buyers beware - they give you hairy ears. Think of these riders as Ron Jeremy without the big cock.
	250cc 4T Normally very comfortable with their penis size but usually wish that they had something bigger. A blue swathe of these mini thumpers can be seen all over Beds, Herts and Bucks. Every now and then an orange one can be spotted but these are usually people who just like to follow fashion rather than being an individual. Penis is usually slightly smaller than the blue variety.
	Sherco 2.5i 4T If you own one of these you must be the perfect man. You are a riding god with a penis that would satisfy the most demanding women. Your sense of style is impeccable and you are simply a fanny magnet. Buying one of these bikes turns a fat overweight bald man with a wrinkled up penis in to an absolute stud. Click the Sherco icon on the right to find out how attract the women of your dreams.
	300cc 2T If you own one of these you are either an enduro god or a complete idiot. Usually the sole domain of enduro riders who are pretty fit and are comfortable with their penis size. There are always exceptions like the odd clutchless German faller who thought it would be a good idea and then promtly 'got rid'!
	400cc 4T Bisexuals can often be seen on this class of motorcycle. They are not sure which way to swing. Don't want to be seen riding something too small and are too scared to be riding a large one.
	450cc 4T The average, balding, middle-aged, mid-life crisis, beer swilling male is often seen aboard this class of bike. Not quite man enough to own a Sherco 4.5i and tends to stick with orange unless he only has enough money for a Yamaha! Every now and then you see one of these in red with a huge rear sprocket with balding posh banker types perched on the saddle. Often think that they can wheelie but actually can't. Penis is on the smaller side and belly is usually expanding.
	Sherco 4.5i 4T Red blooded males who simply have women falling at their feet (usually after they have been mown down) ride these. Stylish with a good taste for fine wine and a porn collection that would make any man jealous. Think of it as the Peter North of the dirtbike world. If you want to transform yourself this year click the blue Sherco icon on the right!
	500cc 2T If you let your lady put her hands down one of these riders pants she will be shocked at the length and girth. Only riders with massive balls ride these things. If your daughters boyfriend has one of these go shake his hand!
	Sherco 5.1i 4T The bike to have, especially if you go for the factory package with gold Ohlins Forks. This bike simply makes you a riding god and puts an extra 3 inches on to your cock. Oh, all right then, they are for middle aged fat blokes with little winkles - but they still have good taste and try extremely hard to satisfy! If your bike does not satisfy your needs then click the blue Sherco icon on the top right of this page! Heheheh!!!!
	525/530cc 4T Fat with a small cock. You like the idea of a big one, but often can't handle one. Being seen on anything else would call your manlyness in to question. In their defence, they do try much harder to satisfy and provide great entertainment and can often be ridiculed for their lack of skill. Often need to take imodium to stop them shitting themselves during a ride.
	600cc+ adventure style bike WARNING - WEIRDO BIKE. People who ride this over-sized porkers of bikes are usually the type of people who can talk a good ride but have never actually had one. People buy these thinking that everyone who sees them on it must be some sort of adventurer that rides around the world and can handle anything that nature throws at them. The truth is that 99.9% of these bikes never see a green lane! Think of these riders as Ron Jeremy without the big cock.