Moved in. Drew straws for bedrooms. Alan got the cupboard at the top
of the stairs. Did'nt bother unpacking,
headed to the union instead. Went out nearly every night this week,
Classes start next week. Coco pops are
nealry out already. Still trying to figure out how to use the cooker!
Freshers week. Classes started for everyone. Went to the Freshers
fair on Wednesday for the freebies. Got 74
pens, 16 rulers, 23 key rings, 4 bottle openers and 13 cans of tango
between us. Tried to tune the TV, but
Channel 5 is all we can muster. We're getting quite fond of tacky
quiz shows and ridiculously crap films. Gav
thinks we should get a TV licence, but Ciaran can't get his head round
the idea, being from Derry and all.
Still on the take-aways. Will have to get this cooking thing organised.
Landlord called for the rent, we told him
the dog ate it. Landlord pointed out we had no dog, we told him we
ate the dog. Landlord acccepted a cheque.
£1 a pint on Thursday night in the union before 10pm. Discovered
you can fit 23 pints on a 2 x 4 table if you take
away the ash tray. Neighbours called in to borrow some sugar, neighbours
left to get us some tea bags.
Starting to get tired of mayonaise sandwiches, discovered the joys
of supernoodles. The work is starting to pile
up for everybody. Aideen is convinced that buying shoes will make
it all go away. Tigger is still heavy on the drink,
we're gonna have to pull him aside aside and have a word.
Halloween this week. Sat in all week practicing anti TV licence man
tactics and landlord evasion procedures. Made
last minute costumes on Thursday night and headed to the Ball in the
Union. Woke up the next morning with really
bad handovers. Han Solo had eaten all the cheese and Long John Silver
was sleeping in the bath. Place was a
serious mess, but Xena Warrior Princess gave us a hand to clean up.
Pulled Tigger aside for a word in his ear, but theres no talking to
him, he just sits there and and says nothing. The
blokes came to install the phone. Took them 10 mins to do the work
and 2 hours to drink all our tea and chat up
Aideen. Declan pulled a girl on Tuesday night, but after she phoned
for the 57th time he got the impression she
might be a bit mad. Ciaran tried to fix the TV with a roll of tin
foil and blob of blu tack. We're still watching
Our first house party this week. Everyone invited all their friends,
except Alan, who could only get half of his 254
mates to come, what a pity eh. Gavin thought he was well in with some
girl Alan invited. But it turned out he was
talking to a Star Wars poster in Declan's room! Everybody went home
this weekend to raid the fridge and get
their clothes washed. The smell of socks was getting too much.
The TV is working. We discovered a great device in the electric shop
called an aerial. We ate like kings this week,
thanks to Gavin's prowess in the art of fridge warfare. Why is it
that mothers buy ridiculous amounts of frozen
food that they never use? Went to the Limelight on Tuesday night.
Ciaran tried to impress us with his raw vodka
drinking abilities, and we must say, the vomiting routine behind the
left speaker was one of the best we've seen in
We all bounced together and bought a Playstation. Tekken 3 championships
are well under way. Alan is a sore
loser and to be honest its better beating Declan up for real. Everyone
was class at it when we were on the cider.
The next morning we realised that the control pad wasn't even plugged
in and were watching the demo. Tigger
has gone missing again.
They've put the price of cider up in the off licence, ****ing capitalists.
Tigger turned up on the doorstep at 6am
on wednesday morning, he was in some state. Declan was offered a job
in an indian restaraunt, but he refused
to take it when he realised it would involve doing work. Gavin is
still bitching about the toilet needing cleaned,
we're gonna buy him a bottle of Domestos for christmas
Its fecking freezing, now!! We're gonna have to get oil in soon, but
we're quite enjoying wearing duvets as casual
evening wear. Priced the oil at £135. Ciaran reckons we should
spend it on cider instead and create invisible beer
coats to keep us warm. Its Alans birthdays next week, we've decided
to throw another party to celebrate.
came up with a great idea for the party. We spent the whole week taking
turns to wallpaper the entire
living room in tin foil.
Declan stole his ma's Fairy lights, Alan painted
all the light bulbs different colours and Gavin
cleaned the toilet.......again. Loads of people turned up, it was
a really good night. Everyone from next door came
in too. The highlight of the night was one of Alans mates trying to
light his farts??? What was all that about?
Heading home for Christmas this week. Student loans are running out,
but we reckon we can buy presents with
the £2.47 we have left in the bank, providing our families are
happy with 10p mix-ups. Christmas party next
door. Went well until the end of the night, when Declan phoned a Taxi
to take us home. We didn't bother getting
any sleep, and went home drunk on the bus.
No one home most of the week except Tigger. We have a sneaking suspicion
that he may have shot a home porn
film while we wereall away due to the large number of stick on moustaches
and Swedish soft rock CD's we found
on our return. Everyone back up for New Years Eve night. We all went
to Shine and had a good night.Big party in
our mates house in Fitzroy Street, no one made any sense at all, brilliant.
We'll have to get our heads together
pretty soon. Will start revision tomorrow.....................(honestly!!!).
Where did that year go to.
Exams this week. Everyone's dealing with it in their own way. Ciaran
wouldn't speak to anyone and locked himself
in his room. Aideen and Declan went on a chocolate and TV brain diet.
Alan went to the Union to revise. He can
now recite the entire labels of 9 types of beer. First exams went
well though, no one has thrown the TV out the
window yet anyway.
Last exams this week. There were some worried looking heads around
the house this week. Gav chilled out by
indulging in some toilet cleaning action. Tigger went through a whole
case of bacardi breezers, his nerves were
wrecked. Ciaran was the last to finish on Thursday. Everyone met in
the bar and went straight on the beer. We're
off next week. That'll give us loads of time to catch up on some much
need intellectual reading. (we believe you)
Loads of nothing got done this week. Went out nearly every night and
slept all day. Everyone is apprehensive
about their exam marks. We'll find out next week. Could'nt be bothered
to write anymore now!!
Back at class this week, we tried hard not fall asleep in lectures,
but we should have brough sleeping bags with us
it was that bad. Miracles will never cease either, we all passed our
exams. We should resist the temptation to go
out and celebrate really...................but we're crap at that
kinda thing. Its a hard life being a student!!
Everyone went for a big family day out to Tesco this week. Its amazing
how tasty blue and white label food can be
when you're skint. Ciaran went for an interview for a placement job
in Vienna on Friday. Tigger has promised to
teach him German if he gets it. Aideen's birthday was on Saturday.
The whole house, everyone next door and
the Fitzroy brigade went too. Another party in our house afterwards.
Theres just no end to the madness.
This week was one of celebration for all in the house. Ciaran got
the job in Vienna, the landlord brought us round a
new sofa, and Declan aquired 35 stir in sauces left over from the
freshers packs in enrolment week. To add to our
joy, we also found £7.37 and 5 2h pencils in the deepest realms
of our new furnishings. Let it never be said that our
landlord never gave us anything. 'Let us buy communal cider and sketch
into the night'. The only bad thing to
happen this week was that Alan only got to go out 4 nights. It was
hard on him, but he managed.
Whilst Ciaran slaved his poor arse off all week programming computers
to make funny noises, the rest of the house
went about having a series of card nights. As the week went on, the
lengths they went to achieve realism was
riduculous. By Thursday, they were wearing sunpeaks, smoking cigars
and had covered the table in tacky green
velvet that used to be Gavins curtains. Aideen won everything on the
table most nites and taunted everyone.
At this pont Ciaran came out and took his copper collection back.
Have you ever had one of those weeks where nothing gets done? Well
this was it! Discovered that the local video
shop does 3 films for £3 for 3 nights, and so we stocked up
on munchables and decided to have a night in. This
quickly turned into a week in though as the potent combination of
laziness, no assignments and the plain fact
that we're ****ing skint, took effect. Alan cooked his first ever
meal in the house, on his own, with no help and
using real food and pots. This called for a celebration, anyone want
to watch a video??????
Despite the fact that there are a four musicians in the house, and
that there is the makings of a full band, we
have never got together to play or write in more than groups of two.
This issue was addressed this week as
everyone decided to make a start on the epic 31online debut album.
27 cups of tea and 2 t-shirt changes by
Dec and Alan later, into their old metal attire, and we were rocking.
Gav, restricted to a tambourine and a pot
in the abscence of a drum kit, still provided ample acoustics for
the production of some quality tunes. Watch
this space for the record deal news as it breaks!!
Supreme laziness took a grip on 31 this week. Everyone found excuses
not to go to class, except Gav, who stuck
firmly to his rigid routine of going to the library for 25 hours a
day and still getting nothing done. Tigger won
£100 after buying a scratch card in Mace, but had to use it
to pay the phone bill he'd ran up calling dirty german
chat lines. We have no rent to give the landlord this month, so we
may have to magically vanish for our easter
Things are getting a bit mad now. We're starting to get recognised
in the streets and have been asked by the
BBC and UTV to do interviews. Ciaran and Declan made the journey to
the BBC to talk shite about Spide
Generator. We got caught for the TV licence the next day. A hint of
irony maybe. Everyone is back at class and
into the swing again, which is stupid because its the last week before
easter. Better late than never. Landlord
called to say he'd be round at 10am on Friday for the rent. Everyone
went home on Thurday. Diary will be shit
for the next 2 weeks. Whats new!
This was a crap week in the house, everyone went home for Easter and
so nothing really happened. The house
was completely empty and even Tigger went to his Ma's house to get
his easter egg. The wheelie bin went to
the Mclub on Thursday night though, but ended up getting into a fight
with a spide. All the electrical applicances
had a party on Friday night, the toaster drunk all Alans cider and
the hoover scoffed Aideens chocolate stash.
Or so Gavin said anyway.
Ciaran and Declan were the only 2 people home this week. They both
had appointments in MDS Harris to be fed
drugs for medical research purposes in exchange for bags of money.
Neither of them went and instead they
paid each other 50p for eating a packet of Lockets. It was all forgotten
about by Saturday though when the
Student Loans came in early. A much needed drinking session ensued
spanning several bars and the space time
continueum (is that spelt right). (what the fuck is it anyway).(Why
so many Brackets).(Dunno).(Fullstop)
Everyone is back after easter and ready to get stuck into some work.
We write the next 3 entries, 3 weeks too
late for the following reasons a) we
did'nt pay the phone bill and have no internet b)
we've been boring bastards
who cant remember what we were doing anyway c)
we couldn't be arsed to walk to the science library to use
their computers. Everyone pretended to do work this week, but no one
really did anything, except Gavin, who
directed all his energies into rehearsing for a play. Oh and Declan
shaved!!! theres still hope for world peace!!
Did we miss a week somewhere? By the time we finish there will only
be 31 entries. My calculations say it should.
be 32. As if it really matters. We'll make up an extra bonus week
near the end to make up for it. The sun was
shining all this week. In true Belfast student fashion we all hit
botanic gardens to do some bird watching. And
what fine birds they were too. The police tried to throw Alan out
for drinking, but Aideen used her Jedi mind
control technique to save him. Everyone brought their books with them
to get some work done. They turned
out to be great use as makeshift goalposts.
Exams are looming now. Everyone initiated the usual anti exam procedures
of cleaning their rooms, the kitchen,
themselves, the bathroom etc. Anything to delay the inevitable fact
that we had to bury our noses into the
notes. No one studies at weekends of course, (or so we are led to
believe), so everyone went out on saturday
night for 'a few pints'. No one remembers coming home, but our bank
balances suggested that we probably hired
a limo and a police escort. The mystery continues. Exams next week.
After last weeks half hearted study attempt, Sunday night seen a changed
outlook, with everyone disapearing
to their rooms. Aideen, Gav and Ciaran will finish uni this week,
Dec and Alan dont start til next week. Everything
went well all round. By Friday the party mood was in the air. everyone
headed to Vicos for a serious FundaMENTAL
nite. Sore heads all round the next day. Where is tigger these days,
no one has seen him in weeks.
want to adopt a fluffy orange tigger type thingy? Email us at email@example.com.
Tigger has ran off and no one can find him. No one rally gives a shit anymore, cos he was nothing but a sponging
fuck anyway. We hope the bastard dies of rabies. I'm fucked off making up stories about a fucking teddy bear
anyway. This week we all passed out exams. How do I know that?? Cos I could'nt be arsed to write this then,
so this is actually ages afterwards and I know exactly the outcome. Everyone got blocked......yadda yadda yadda.
It was quite sad actually, cos aideen left this week. But she will come visit next week. The no31 empire is crumbling.
Everyone moved out this week and some pack of culchie farmers got the house. It was a sad affair which lasted
about 3 days due to the fact that gavin drives life a woman!! Declan and Gav will remain in belfast fighting the
good fight!! Aideen is off to America to be a niteclub stripper, (erm ok then, student), Alan is off round the
world and Ciaran is moving to Vienna on placement. Aint that sad. 1,2,3 awwwwwwwwwwwwww!! We would
like to thank everyone who took the time to email us and say hello, and to all 35, 000 of yees sad cunts who
are even more bored than us by coming to see our sad llives :) Its been a pleasure, see you all next year maybe!!