Desert Boots Eh?? Where....? I have'nt noticed them?? If these are words you hear yourself saying right now, then its probably too late.........its likely that you are already in the early stages of DESERT BOOT FEVER..... Steps can be taken to fight the disease, but as always, prevention is better than cure. This health guide could quite possibly save you from a life of brown suede wearing torture!!
The stages of the illness are as follows:
How to combat the illness:

1. Victim begins admiring brown suede boots in the street and in shop windows.

1. Take desert boots and dispose of them by either burning them , or launching into space on a soviet missile.

2. Victim purchases a pair of tacky desert boots and proceeds to wear them with every outfit the own believing them to match perfectley.

2. Lock yourself, or the victim, in a closed room with a shoe catalogue from Dv8, making sure to dispose of the desert boot pictures before hand (See step 1)

3. As the illness sets in, they may lose all sense of fashion, and buy other items such as checked shirts and stonewash blue jeans (2 sizes too small for them).

3. After 3 weeks, release the victim and make them buy a pair of decent looking ****ing shoes.

4. In the final stages, the victim buys another pair of 'spare' desert boots believing that one pair is not enough.

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