Travels in Australia - March/May 1999

Melbourne to Darwin

Tuesday 2nd March 1999 - Departure from Leeds

It's an early start from Leeds to Manchester, and by 9.15 a.m. we're airborne and heading for Singapore. Wind-up flight, 3 films, little sleep. Wednesday 3rd March - Singapore Hello Singapore. It's very hot. I'm dumped at Orchard Rd., do the Botanical Gardens, which are excellent, then head for the river. Come over all knackered, so sit down for a meal, which I can't eat. Take a few photos, fail to get a taxi once the rains have cleared, get a very cheap bus from outside Raffles and we're on the way to Oz.

Thursday 4th March - Arrival in Melbourne, Australia

It's drizzling as we touch down. Just about breeze through immigration. Mike turns up having nearly lost his wallet, and Sharon takes us into town. I pass out, and wake up at 9 p.m. feeling more out of it than I ever have. Quiet night in. Friday 5th March - Melbourne Down to Albert Park. Very pleasant day trackside, out into very cool Carlton for a chinese in the evening.

Saturday 6th March - Melbourne Again down to trackside. Never meet Mike, thrilling qualifying, see Natalie Imbrughlia(!). Back home for quiet night in followed by loud night out at music venue. Sunday 7th March - Melbourne

Race day! Great day, blisteringly hot, day shoots by. Mike turns up well timed for lunch. Incident-packed race sees Eddie's first win, which keeps the Ferrari fans happy. Pretty tired in evening, but struggle out for a few pints in the local Irish pub. Great day. Monday 8th March - Melbourne Out into the hills. Dandedongs marvellous, but a bit touristy, then Phillip Island for the penguin parade, outstanding but a bit touristy!

Tuesday 9th March - Melbourne

Get Mike to the airport on the hottest day so far, then slob out the rest of the day. Very nice Jamaican in the evening. Wednesday 10th March - Departure from Melbourne Out to the north-west for lunch in Woodend, followed by a trip to Hanging Rock, amazing. See koala and parrots, then head to Mt. Macedon and see echidna and wallaby, very honoured. Over to Dynesford for fish and chip tea, wonderful day. Say goodbye to Sharon, night bus. Thursday 11th March - Arrival in Sydney

Wake up in Eden. Spend the rest of the morning dozing off and rousing for nice coastal and forest scenery, big chicken lunch. Into Sydney for late afternoon, dull day but get to see Opera House before meeting Mike. Quick couple in Fay's local club. Friday 12th March - Sydney Easyish start for tourist day in Sydney. Bus in, head for Circular Quay and Opera House, up into Botanical Gardens, and back for the State Buildings on Macquirie Street. Lunch at the Quay, then Rocks, Bridge, up the tower, not the grey suits, then a rush round the monorail and

just in time to meet Mike. Up to the Manly ferry, and a nice evening there, Thai, jet-cat back, beers at the Sanctuary and home. Saturday 13th March - Sydney

Pick up a car, fuck about. Eventually get out of town heading north. Meet Martin and very dear beagle, terrible glass-smashing faux pas in local, and long drive home. Sunday 14th March - Sydney Get out on a hot day to the Blue mountains. Lunch at Katoomba, then walk through Three Sisters. Amazing views, walk back in time for dusk and a scenic ride back to Sydney. Monday 15th March - Sydney

Slob out day, pick up photos, return car, head out to Bondi. Get back, slob around, go for beers, Mike goes to do his radio show and I drift into profound slumber. Tuesday 16th March - Departure from Sydney Into town for band on Union lawn. Bit of shopping, photos in Hyde Park, Bulworth, and goodbye Sydney.

Wednesday 17th March - Arrival in Byron Bay Hello Byron. Full bus, total sea-change, strung-out walk on the beach and I'm here. Back for a sleep, struggle to get fed in the evening, Thai, nice walk back along dark beach. Thursday 18th March - Byron Bay Very nice day, hot morning walk down the beach, lunch salmon, restful ramble up to Cape Byron. No wallabies, lizard, nice birds, back to base then into town for a pizza.

Friday 19th March - Byron Bay

Stayed out of the sun, got nicely wet on beach walk, ambled back. Slow afternoon, went to see the wrong film. Excellent. Last walk on the beach, very nice, ready to go. Saturday 20th March - Byron Bay to Brisbane Short hop to Brisbane, incessant rain, sleep and read the afternoon away. Chinese in evening and walk round Botanical Gardens. See a possum! Sunday 21st March - Brisbane Off to Lone Pine by lunchtime, still pretty overcast. Saw budgies, parrots, cockatoos, koockaburras, flying foxes, a Tasmanian devil, kangaroos,

wallaroos, wallabies, mini-wallabies, a peradogon, and one so small it looked like a massive rat. Wombats, dingoes, a sugar glider, a cassawary, two amazing wedge-tailed eagles and of course, lots of koalas. Quiet night in, ready to go. Monday 22nd March - Brisbane to Townsville And they're off. Bit of a walkaround, final photos, bloody hot morning, and eventually the bus rolls away. More interminable stops but it seems to fly by, and after a beautiful sunrise over Airlie and a very hot 7 a.m. breakfast stop at Bowen, I'm in Townsville.

Tuesday 23rd March - Arrival on Magnetic Island Just miss the boat, but on the stroke of midday we depart on the short journey to Magnetic. Centaur turns out to be a good choice and ...in Arcadia est. Really strung out from the bus, so I have a quiet afternoon, definitively plan out the rest of Oz, champagne Ayers rock birthday! Fish 'n' chips again in the evening. Wednesday 24th March - Magnetic Island Wake up on my paradise island. Quick scoot about then off to Picnic. Get tour sorted out, set out for West Point. Only get halfway, great walk. Second ramble of the day down to Rocky Bay. Almost gets hairy as emerge on the stroke of darkness. Miss tea, great day.

Thursday 25th March - Magnetic Island Sunshine in paradise. Mega-hot day, head for Horseshoe, sunbathe, paddle, drink, eat, motor back via Radical, nude at Balding, then a very tired chug back, leaving Forts for tomorrow. Fish and chips again this evening, egrets and a possum, exhausting day. Friday 26th March - Magnetic Island

Slow start, walk into Picnic, bus back. Refresh, then out to Forts, great walk, no koalas, but stop at La Trattoria, and a possum falls on me. Very special. Come back really tired. Last walk on the beach and retire. Saturday 27th March - Departure from Magnetic Island Very slow start. Away by 12 noon. Interminably long wait at Greyhound. Barrier Reef aquarium superb. Chinese meal in otherwise deserted Townsville, then back on the bus.

Sunday 28th March - Townsville to Alice Springs Still on the bus. We arrive in Isa for a 3-hour breakfast. It's hot and desolate, there are more wedge-tails than you can count, and my heart soars to be in the outback. We tootle on through the day, past scrub and termite mounds, stopping at Berkly Homestead for lunch, shielded by the air-con. Hit Tennants Creek just before sunset.. Kill time watching the last rays from the lookout, get pissed in the pub, and share a pizza with Raymond the blackfella and a Swiss girl. Back on the bus.

Monday 29th March - Arrival in Alice Springs 5 a.m., it must be Alice. Crash out till 11, book tours and amble out, woozy to say the least. Very pleasant day, up to Anzac, lots of beer, see Shakespeare in Love, just miss sunset from Anzac, beautiful anyway, earlyish night. Tuesday 30th March - Alice Springs

Lovely day. Set off upcountry, parallel to dry river, as far as springs, and telegraph station. Few walks in vicinity then back, beer, photos, etc. Quick consolidate then

'roo steak and Elizabeth. Wednesday 31st March - Alice Springs to Kings Canyon Happy birthday to me! It's a crack of dawn start and we're off, 22 of us and Brad. Tour's going the other way round so I won't be in Uluru tonight, but the day unfolds nicely, camels, bush camp lunch, superb walk through Kings Canyon. Birthday treat is a sunset helicopter flight, superb. Evening meal and coldish night under the stars.

Thursday 1st April - Kings Canyon to Uluru Even earlier start for trip down to Kata Tjuta, amazing walk through Valley of the Winds, small walk round Uluru, starting to learn blackfella culture, and then champagne for the great circus. An Uluru sunset. Very high spirits as we return to camp. Drink and eat so much that my after-dinner cigar causes me to throw up! Another starlit night. Friday 2nd April - Uluru to Alice Springs

Earliest start yet for sunrise base walk as half the group climb the rock. Cultural Centre, lunch, and suddenly it's all over and we're journeying back on what a thoroughly bonded group agrees was a very wonderful three days. So nice to have a proper shower. Pizzas and beer together at the Melanka in the evening and, as the party revs up, I slip away in my usual way and sleep like a log. Saturday 3rd April - Departure from Alice Springs Last rush around, pick up slides(!), final trot round Olive Pink and on the bus. All goes fine until the air-con packs up short of Tennant

Creek. Mass faffing about and delays but we eventually change buses and nothing else can go wrong! Sunday 4th April - Arrival in Darwin

Good morning, Darwin. Spaced out arrival, only a little late. Check in, confirm tour, tick off priorities; laundry, Arnhem. Dream tour doesn't start for 3 weeks, what a quandry, retire to pub. Nice lunch, walk on beach, another pizza for tea and retire. Monday 5th April - Departure from Darwin Off on tour. Crocodile park, Fogg Dam, Adelaide River cruise, Windows on the Wetland, Point Stuart Wilderness Lodge. Swimming, communing with wallabies, two amazing whistling kites, don't forget the vine forest walk to the lily lake! Flawed group, woodentops moan

all night. Tuesday 6th April - Kakadu National Park Up and into Kakadu. Bowali, then up to Nourlangie Rock, superb art and walkabout then a swim. Superb wildlife day. Stay near Cooinda, nice solo walkabout to dusk, another walk with Bevan, pick the Irish tent tonight.

Wednesday 7th April - Kakadu to Darwin Swimming and walking day. Motor Car Falls and Magik plunge pool, wind our way slowly back to Darwin. Meal in the Vic which turns into quite a good piss-up with the Irish girls and the Germans. Thursday 8th April - Darwin A getting it together day. Masses of poste restante. Amongst many things, I book my Kupang ticket, commiting myself to a return, get the

films in, try to book Litchfield but end up on standby. End up after a very busy morning back in the English pub for barra and chips. Come over all knackered, retire to crash out, blow picking up the photos, and have a very early night. Friday 9th April - Litchfield Park No problem with the standby, we're off to Litchfield with Wayne and a posse of lesser guides. Excellent day, see a frilled lizard, a goanna, swim and walk through beautiful spring-fed vine forests and back. Evening turns into another Vic party with the yank sailors, but this time I'm away by midnight. Saturday 10th April - Darwin to Kupang, Indonesia

Pick up air ticket, photos(!), laundry, tour, may be 14th, another week in Indo. At this rate I will be flying straight to Amsterdam. Write hundreds of postcards, final pint in the Rourke, and before I know it I'm on a bus, on a plane, in a taxi, in Indo. Asia, again, full on. Cassandra's is as promised, a friendly home, a birthday feast for Johnny, and I'm pooped by 9.20. East Timor is off the agenda it would appear. ... continued in Travels in Indonesia

Wednesday 12th May - Denpasar, Bali to Darwin Big day! Up and out, off to airport and lo and behold, I see my PDI t-shirt. Get coffee at the airport, but not sure if I can afford a sandwich because of departure tax. First flight passes quickly, I nod off. Slight hassle at Kupang, could have afforded a sandwich! Flight very empty and hello, Darwin. Check in, washing, tour, flight, films, massive irony that my flight would give me 4 hours in Denpasar! And a short stop in Singapore, obviously meant to be. Retire to my local for a pint of VB and fish and chips, nice to be home!

Thursday 13th May - Darwin Bit of a rush around in the morning, STA, Antarctica Lonely Plant. Book ticket home (to Amsterdam, anyway) and buy VB t-shirt. Sub and a pint for lunch, buy shoes and pick up slides, look great. Come back and nod off for the afternoon. Wake up, go to pictures. Other Sister finished, instead see Lolita, superbly powerful. Mexican and repack, excited about tomorrow. Friday 14th May - Darwin to Arnhemland

Set off down the now rather familiar track on Mcaffs, run late, get halfway through the Saint, before giving up on a fucked video, and arrive in Katherine, which is vaguely familiar, to meet Shane, Jacinda and her dad, and Karen from YHA, who smokes, bless her. Out into the Arnhemland bush, a bumpy ride almost 5 hours, so we're in camp after dark. Chicken cooked on the campfire on a chilly night, and an early night.

Saturday 15th May - Arnhemland A slow start, down to the creek to swim and meet traditional owner George and some of the mob. An afternoon of heading for the Falls in 2 vehicles but only getting so far. A masterclass in 2 4WD and a winch bushcraft, but we get stuck right at the end. Back to the creek for fishing and walking with the kids. Just before sunset the mossies kick in big time. Back to camp after beer with Francois, his partner and his very beautiful assistant, spaghetti and an early night.

Sunday 16th May - Arnhemland Drive to the outstation. Back to Francois's camp with George and most of the mob. Listen to them planning cultural and healthy food initiatives, watch a short video then back with the kids to a rock pool for a swim and lunch. A trip to a billabong which again gets bogged down before completion, so a bit of a walk and back to camp early for roast lamb. A wonderful day. Monday 17th May - Arnhemland to Katherine

Fairly early start for the journey back to Katherine in Francois's luzury Oke. What a wonderful weekend, aboriginal culture and pride writ large in a garden of Eden setting. Get back to Katherine tired and dirty. Check into Palm Court, organise my whole life with the highly animated Louise and pop into town for films, lunch and a quick beer. Come back and crash out. Pizza and television in the evening. Tuesday 18th May - Katherine to Kakadu National Park Up very early in the morning, another beautiful day. Phone Mother and Tim, and head for Katherine Gorge. An astonishingly beautiful trip

and my first freshie! Use an astonishing amount of film, back into town, pick up the hire car, say goodbye to Louise and head into Kakadu after a massive amount of in-town organisation. Once on the open road my heart soars. Wonderful drive to Pine Creek and right into Kakadu. Brief stop at Mary River roadhouse and get to Cooinda just before sunset. Very ostentacious croc meal in the evening. Wednesday 19th May - Kakadu National Park

Up nice and early, another beautiful day (again, take as read from now on!). Yellow Water cruise is astonishing, the highlight along with penguin parade. The only downer bringing an exposed film as the spare, so the best croc shot and a few others went missing. Do the Cooinda Cultural centre and a quick walk, then drive to Bowali. Can't get across East Alligator without a 4WD, plan to hire one in Jabiru. Head for Jabiru, but find another lookout, so it's a late lunch. Get my permit, only to find out I can't hire a 4WD, but I can get on the Lord of Kakadu tour, so I feel a bit of a prat cashing in my permit, but get a warm feeling of things going very well as I head for the Border Store. Check in there, meet the very lovely Craig, do a quick monsoonal vine forest walk and head to Ubirr for some great rock art and a wonderful sunset. Head back for a barbie tea and spend the evening talking with James the ranger and Chris and his lovely partner. Finish off quite the perfect day with a dark walkabout with Craig, who it's becoming obvious can't do enough for you and is quite the perfect host. Best day of the trip! Thursday 20th May - Arnhemland

Up nice and early, another beautiful day, (woops!). Get the lower walk done before 8.30, quick iced coffee then picked up by Sab and a clique of 7 workers from Frontier Lodge. Across Cahills Crossing, into Oenpelli and out for 2 hours of the most amazing rock art and look-outs of the entire trip. Arnhemland lives up to all the expectations every time. Back to the arts centre, and was privileged to witness singing and dancing for a graduation ceremony before I secure my art and we head to brunch. More art, lunch, a billabong walk and home across Cahills (just in time!). Up to Ubirr, I say goodbye to the crew and do the Rainbow Serpent gallery, come over exhausted and head back for an early shower. Turns out to be a critical error of judgement as I miss the sunset of the trip but what the hell, there will be other sunsets. Another great tea, another great chat and an earlyish night after another wonderful, wonderful day. If we're counting that's 11 in a row!

Friday 21st May - Kakadu to Darwin And so we finish. Up early (beautiful day!), say goodbye and a heartfelt thank you to Craig and hit the road at 7. Into Jabiru for ATM and breakfast. Down to Bowali but no flag, down to Cooinda for the little painting, a last lookout, then I weave my way back out of God's own country at high speed, just staying on schedule, with just enough petrol. Dump the car, into Katherine, see Shane, wind-up late Mcaffs, watch Titanic, hit Darwin, struggle to find a room 'cos of some Games that's swamped town. Have a pizza, have a pint in Shennanigans but miss the girls, repack, watch a movie, and crash.

Saturday 22nd May - Departure from Darwin Just going through the motions, staving off the mixed emotions. Walk into town fully loaded and hit the airport. In no time we're on the way to Denpasar. Then the fun starts. Have to bribe immigration to get out of the airport, can't get a taxi and when I do I'm stuck in a PDI rally so intense it's almost scary. Much to my surprise, get there in the end. Playstation doesn't do any Mac, but the stall has some classics, just hope I get them through customs! Getting back's slightly easier and in no time we're on the second plane. Jakarta's a bit boring and the next endless night begins. Whoopee, it's business class! Sunday 23rd May - Arrival in Amsterdam

And so it goes on, a bit of sleep, Bugs Life and Payback and a nostalgic short stop at Frankfurt, and we're in Amsterdam, with a cold that's come from God knows where. Taxi to the wrong hotel, short walk, short wait for room, short sleep, long walk in crippling shoes, easy pot in Paradise, stumble home, crash out to BBC2, barely conscious evening and night.