IT'S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU'RE A VAMPIRE

IT’S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE
SO HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE UNDEAD
WHEN SHE ASKS YOU FOR TEA AT TWO
THERE’S LITTLE ELSE THAT YOU CAN DO
THAN TRY TO FIND A BETTER TIME INSTEAD
DINNER AT EIGHT WOULD BE JUST GREAT
A MEAL AT NINE WOULD BE DIVINE
BUT BETTER STILL A MIDNIGHT FEAST IN BED

IT’S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE
SO HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE UNDEAD
AND WHEN SHE SAYS PLEASE TAKE A PECK
MY LIPS THEY MOVE RIGHT DOWN HER NECK
I FIND I’D RATHER TAKE A BITE INSTEAD
AND WHEN SHE SAYS MAKE LOVE TO ME
THE CRAVE FOR BLOOD OVERWHELMINGLY
TURNS MY FANGS FROM PERFECT WHITE TO RED

Jerry dances romantically with Peaches

IT’S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE
SO HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE UNDEAD
WHEN SHE DECLARES THAT SHE’S IN LOVE
I LOOK UP TO THE STARS ABOVE
AND TELL HER THAT PERHAPS ONE DAY WE’LL WED
WHEN SHE SAYS THAT THE CHURCH WOULD BE
A SETTING FIT FOR HER AND ME
WELL I SUGGEST THE MORTUARY INSTEAD

IT’S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE
IT’S HARD TO BE IN LOVE WHEN YOU’RE UNDEAD.

Mike Benyon 2004